Unwanted comment

I never told anyone, let alone family - they are the worst. I am confused though why can't you eat seafood? I also don't entirely believe the alcohol stopping conception stuff. A lot of it is finding some way of blaming people when it doesn't happen. It's actually more important the bloke doesn't drink!

DH and I got married young (I was 19 at the time), which brought its own special set of comments. The week after the wedding I starting getting asked when I would be getting pregnant! People soon stopped asking when I started responding with a very blunt "when we decide to thanks!"

The worst one was his SIL, but I am always happy to out her in her place as she has an opinion on absolutely everything that is nothing to do with her.

This is in active convos, so although I'm not in your situation, I have been in the situation where I had to deflect enquiries for personal information it felt painful to disclose, many many times in fact.

I had a baby despite not being married and people asked me with a straight face, as though it was their right to know "was it planned?". The first time, I mumbled something in my defence, as though I had to justify the decision. The second time I paused for a second, looked at them as though I was slightly embarrassed for them, and said I think I must have misheard! for a second there I thought you were asking me if my pregnancy was planned, imagine, ha ha

I had to apply the same technique for various other questions "are you getting married?". Are you going to leave him. How are you coping [head tilt] Badly? Are the children distraught? Does their father ever see them, no, huh? oh. he does! I don't suppose their father contributes? Have you met somebody yet? Do you do internet dating? Now I don't care at all though. People can ask away. They might or might not get an answer that satisfies their curiosity.

It goes on and on for the rest of your life so find a way to deal with it!

Lady B, keep remembering that if it was that bad they'd be a lot of only child families around. Yes it nips but the next day you literally want another one NOW! Some people like to overshare as they think they're the only women ever to have a baby.

As for the question, I'm ancient, youngest is 12 and me and OH are trying for our first (which I don't expect will happen as my eggs are probably scrambled). The only other person to know is his mam who is lovely but keeps asking 'if anythings happened yet...' Er no.

The older you get the worse it gets! :)

Once you're over 35 family, friends, work acquaintances, everyone thinks (they don't think that's the problem) they need to warn you about the perils of leaving it too late. And when you want to escape so grab a magazine and hideaway in the garden or bath for an hour there'll be an article in there telling you how fertility declines! Aaaaaargh!

It's a tough one, my Dp and I mock when people tell us we're missing out and change the subject on to holidays, the kind of holidays you have as a child free couple, you'd be amazed how quickly their faces drop coz most parents would love a child free holiday. People now think we're so anti kids they don't bother so much with us.

I didn't want to tell anyone who hasn't already had children what I went through & if someone did ask I'd say I had particularly bad time but not everybody has the problems I had.

I was at a wedding when I was 8 months pregnant & had two women (who didn't know each other) at either side of me telling me about their experience they were each trying to have their say over the other! In the end one of them walked off & the other one said 'don't listen to a word she's said' I didn't want to listen to either of them!

I would also not make comments on a anyone's pregnancy or tell them the sex of their baby!

Bobsy The amount of people who know I'm TTC who tell me about what childbirth is like... I GET IT. IT HURTS! They often aim their stories at me, as if I should be shocked. I got fed up a few weeks ago and actually said to someone "you know what, I've actually heard that it hurts before." and they changed the subject.

I know everyone wants to tell the story of how they had their children and I know everyone is different and I do like to hear them, but in these cases it's when people go on and on about the pain specifically and direct their comments at me that wind me up. It feels like they're trying to shock or impress me. I'd rather enjoy the process.

Hi ladies, I could leave this thread without making a comment. I am 100% with u. We have been trying since may no luck yet, but will up the anti this month.

However I am 32 and do 34 and we constantly get - when r u going to have a baby comment from friends and family. I guess it's normal we have been together nearly 9 yrs.

Whilst this hurts it's the comment from people saying how easy it is to fall pregnant that get me. It's not that bloody easy for everyone I want to shout - on paper I should have fallen on go 1 - I don't smoke, never have, I don't take drugs, I eat healthy but not silly healthy, I am fit - go to the gym 5 days a week, have for yrs am a healthy weight. I only drink 4 glasses of wine max a week. Oh the same. Yet it hasn't happened yet and I try not to worry but being told how easy it is doesn't help!!

Overall I just wish people would keep their views and opinions to themselves it's non if their business!!

Hope you don't mind me intruding on this thread but can I just say (in a lighted hearted way) that once you are pregnant every body will comment & know more about your pregnancy than you including the sex of the baby. To be honest I found it a bit annoying especially everybody telling me the sex of my baby, but it was quite funny that I had a girl when the majority of people told me I was having a boy - they could tell that by the shape of my bump!!

I'm currently TTC #2 on 19th cycle. Fortunately I don't often get asked if we're having anymore.

Good luck ladies & try to ignore the comments it's nobody else's business!

I really understand and sympathise.

When we started to TTC our family knew and I decided to be really good for the first 6 months (until like you said I decided I needed to live for me). We would go out for a meal and my (then) pregnant SIL would order things without parmensan and seafood, no alcohol - and I would order the same. And I would get strange looks and comments. 'Why aren't you drinking? [SIL] isn't because she's pregnant.' so in the end it was just easier to act normal, I had the opposite experience really - trying to be good isn't always the best either.

I've been told "it'll happen when it happens" so many times I want to scream. As a logical person who studies literature I have quite a keen sense of stupid meaningless and incorrect words, (my other least favourite is 'its always in the last place you look' - of course it bloody is you wouldn't carry on looking after would you?) so if course it'll happen when it bloody happens that's what happen means!

Also after 12 months it seems hollow. I've had a few people saying 'oh it took my sister a long time but it was so worth it in the end' and 'theres no one in an office who decides who deserves one, don't get down, its chance' which is far more useful. You can tell the difference between those who got pregnant just by winking at their OH compared to the ones who have shared something of the disappointment.

I know how you feel, I have kept the fact my husband and I are ttc secret even from my closest family member for now as I don't want to jinx things! Literally using this forum to chat about ttc coz my husband is very much like "if it happens it happens".

We have also been married a year and every family party we have been to that I have opted to drive to - for genuine reasons (I was working, I had a 10km race in the morning) every one feels the need to ask "are you pregnant" it gets so annoying. We have been ttc for about 6 months and nothing has happened and I try to shrug it off but in all honesty it is so hard to hide the disappointment that I am not. And then I begin to think " is there something wrong because I am not". Nothing stranger than folk - I just think you don't know what's going on in other folks lives so butt out none of your business. Very annoying.

I know how u feel. Have your wine, I am still planning on having mine. Xx