How do you manage the monthly disappointment?

Hello ladies, I wish I could respond to you all individually but I feel exactly the same when AF comes around - disappointed and sometimes angry. Why do people who don't want kids seem to get them but I don't, etc etc. Have to remember there isn't someone sitting somewhere deciding who deserves a BFP but it's all down to chance.

I've had a very early mc - AF was late, had unusual spotting followed by a period more than 48hrs later and confirmed by my GP. That was in March and had nothing happen since. TTC for 12 months now so it's getting really hard as everyone my age (23) seems to be having babies, including colleagues at work. Can't escape from it! And of course OBEM is back on tv and I'm addicted to that, thinking through how I would be and trying to imagine that moment.

Come on BFP! I know you're around the corner somewhere!

Yes we are similar with our work shifts MrsD0nnaLyman , but I think he has a low sex drive as we just don't manage more than at the right time of the month & its usually me that instigates it. It's hard when I'm waiting in bed for him and he's just got to finish watching something on the TV first (doesn't make me feel great). Yes 2 years was a long time & was very nervous starting again after so long.

We were out this weekend at a family party DD was with my parents, we had loads to drink and surprisingly did loads of DTD - first time in months & months that we have because we want to without TTC, it was a shame that it was the wrong time of the month.

Yep I'd feel the same too if someone said that to me

Can I join you ladies please? I'm on cycle 3 trying to conceive number 2. He's almost two and I'm also worrying about the age gap if this takes a long time. I'm 25 days into a 28 day cycle and have started spotting and feeling that I'm going to get my period :-(

I'm consoling myself with chocolate and wine!

For those who have had miscarriages, do take heart and keep going. It took me a year to conceive my DS1 and I had two miscarriages in that time. It was a horrid devastating time, with friends falling pregnant everywhere I turned and some very jealous feelings on my part, but he is here now and it was worth all of the stress and upset in getting him so do keep going. I read somewhere that even if you've had one or several miscarriages you are still more likely than not to have a baby eventually. I really wish you all the best in trying xx

This is my first month TTC, if it doesn't work out for us then I'm going to enjoy a fine glass of wine and also make the DH go buy me some champagne. We both enjoy that and haven't had it since the start of the month.

Also I'm going to eat lots of cheese, the ones you can't have when you are pregnant.

I meant only person to have problems with DTD.

Day 2 of AF & still feeling rubbish about it & had another cry this morning.

Can I really keep putting myself through myself through this every month! But can I not.

If i'm honest me & OH are having problems DTD. We only seem to manage once a month for a couple of months we did manage twice, and i have been using OPK's to ensure it is right time. After I had DD we didn't DTD for about 2 years & till we decided to try again. He's made it clear it does really clear he want another but it's so frustrating that we can't DTD more than a couple of times a month. It is causing arguments which in turn make things worse. I know I'm probably the only person but its just help putting it on here.

Wishing all you lovely ladies BFP'S very soon!

Yep, I feel your pain. 1 year in, 2 miscarriages this year and now I think I'm firmly entrenched in the peri -menopause and having anovulatory cycles. It is totally crap but I deal with it by getting on with life and considering it a bonus if I ever fall pregnant again, not a given.

We have also decided to look into Fostering if we cannot conceive another.

Wine, wine and more wine....

I'm on cycle 34, waiting for IVF to start next February. It only gets harder and harder. Every month I get sadder and angrier and... well... drunker.

My friend just told me she had conceived number 2 on the first month TTC, having conceived her first the same way. I can't get my head around the fact that she does not know the feeling of an unsuccessful month. And I've had three solid years of them! The world is a very odd place. That's why we need the

BobsyBoo I know how you feel, my DH doesn't understand why I struggle to be happy to others who are pregnant- and I hate myself for it too, but it's really tough.
I think we do get ourselves so worked up about it, but I don't see how you can't when it's something you want so badly!

My AF arrived today too! Feeling gutted, I've had a cry and I've got angry because all around me others manage to get pregnant so easily. We've been trying for so long and I got pregnant so easily with DD.

I wish I could feel more positive but it is so hard.

At least I can come on here and chat to people in the same position, my OH is not supportive and doesn't understand why I get so upset, he also doesn't understand why other people getting pregnant upsets me. Men eh!

I've just ordered a book from Amazon to help with positive thinking, will give anything a go.

My AF just came today, I got pregnant with DS pretty quickly so again not used to waiting. Hate it actually!!

I plan to eat loads of chocolate and drink copious amounts of cola. (I know but I don't like wine)

Hi ladies, I'm know this feeling so well, and it seems with every month it gets harder! We've been TTC for 19 months in total (had a couple of months break in the middle when I moved jobs) but it feels like it's been forever.
I see the newbies on here are just starting out TTC and are all excited and think back to that, how naive! Omg I sound so bitter and negative! I'm just glad I can come on here and not feel alone! Xxx

*hard too!!!! Not hard on...

Sammy, I find it hard on, but it also fills me with positive thoughts. If they can have one, so can I! Especially since I know 4 ladies in the past year with PCOS that are pregnant or have a baby. Makes me feel confident that it will happen for me too, as I don't suffer from that condition and have better chances of getting pregnant anyway.
I don't know if I'm explaining it right, but I tried my best!

How do people deal with things like hearing about friends getting pregnant and all the baby stories? A close friend of mine had a baby back in April and I am thrilled for her, but at the same time I find it really hard. She is always rattling off stories and it's hard not to get a bit bitter about it sometimes :(

I remember my brother trying to explain to me what it felt like to be trying for a baby when they both had very low fertility. We had lost our father the pervious year and he said "It's like your father dying every month" I've never forgotten that- and it was more than 20 years ago.

Hi all, I'm a newbie to mumsnet. Hubby and I have been ttc for seven months now, for our first -no luck yet! Feels good to know other people struggle with the monthly disappointment- really like the advice of doing things you can't when pregnant! That's got to help!
This forum is fab- I'm 25 and there are just babies and pregnant ladies everywhere I look! :S Some days I really struggle with it all.

I really like your advice about doing something not able to do if pregnant - wine especially sounds like a plan! Just got my AF this morning. I feel so sad - I don't know how to really cope with the disappointment. It's so hard as well isn't it because you can't tell people at work why you're upset, there's babies everywhere - this forum is a lifeline ladies!!

I'm not sure I can anymore. Just hit the one year mark, had two mcs in between, and I'm getting to the point where I can't keep putting myself through this.

It's awful, isn't it? You spend half your cycle obsessing over ovulation and the second half convincing yourself this will be the time it happens.