How do you manage the monthly disappointment?

Thanks Bobsyboo, good luck for you too, hopefully we'll have BFP's together this month!

I had a good cry when my last AF came as it was the 12th one since TTC, bit of a silly reason really but people talk about waiting to hit that number so they can go for tests so I felt like that was it. Hormones don't help either at that time, lol.

Valerie I went the opposite, sorta. Spent a year enjoying just DTD (did do lots a few pregnancy tests early out of excitement, used an app just to remember when AF was roughly due and that was it. I think it will burn me out after a few months though, like you say it's better to just stop thinking about it as it does take up a lot of your life and time in the end.

MrsG AF at the beginning of this month was due 2 days before I was going to alton towers, I almost didn't buy the ticket but then I thought aha maybe if I do it would be sods law that I get a bfp! Yet it wasn't to be. Ah well.

My after is due tomorrow and I'm pretty sure it will arrive so tonight I'm enjoying a glass of champagne and tomorrow I will plan do something that you can't do when you're pregnant like go to a theme park and go on all of the big rides. Ha. It's such an emotional roller coaster. I was convinced that we'd won this month because I had cramping a week after ovulation and have felt tired and sick for about a week. However I've poas everyday this week almost and they've all been negative. I know I shouldn't have done it but I really thought this was the month. :( there's always next month I suppose.

We have been trying for a while now. DH has to go for sperm tests next month, as it looks likely there may be some problems there.

There were a succession of months where I didn't cope very well. So now I have chucked my OPKs, deleted Fertility Friend, and will have wine if I choose. I don't take TTC into account when I make plans for the future- I have managed to shoehorn myself into a state of mind where DD remains our only.

Things have been massively better since then. I don't like TTC, I really don't. I'm sure it's a lot of fun if you catch within 3 months, after having lots of sex and giggling over OPKs: that was certainly my attitude, until the months started mounting up, and we discovered we may have issues. But generally, I think it's rubbish. I can't put my life- and my daughter's- on hold like that

Fingers crossed for you Ladyboluna. I'm due to ovulate any day.

No you're not crazy at all, it's always so much worse when AF is here (its bad enough anyway) I was on a night out a few weeks ago when a friend announced she was pregnant with her second only just started trying! I had AF in full flow & all I wanted to do for the rest of the night was go home & cry! And I did just that when I did get home!

So I got my peak today on my Cbfm, dtd last night and will do tonight so fingers crossed for me lol

In 6 months I've become an auntie twice to first time mums, 2 colleagues have had babies and another has announced her pregnancy.

I got upset because a friend told me she only took 3 months after coming off the pill before falling pregnant then later confessed to others that it was well over a year. Hasn't said anything to me and I don't want to make an argument as it was a year ago that she told me that, but now we've hit 12 months of trying it's playing on my mind.

My DP wanted to see our niece (4 months old) on the day my last af came and I couldn't face it for a few days. Am I crazy?

Thanks Donna and Bobsy - fingers crossed we get some resolution soon. In the meantime... Best just keep shagging!

We are on the IVF waiting list, six months in and it is supposed to start within 12 months so we are half way there! I'm pinning my hopes in that now really, I'm accepting that naturally just doesn't seem to be for us. We'll keep trying to dtd at the right times though just in case.

It can be tricky to dtd on a schedule, it definitely is not as much fun. It is like another chore to be done of an evening - feed the cat, lock the front door, dtd... We've accepted it for what it is though and both just try to enjoy it!

I have not put my life on hold. It's too short! In the early months I stopped drinking etc in the two week wait. I even decided to stop buying clothes because I would 'soon need maternity clothes' so it would be a waste. When it became apparent nothing was happening I gave up alcohol, cut back on caffeine etc, still nothing. So now I live my life completely normally and just happen to dtd at particular times each month, be on the IVF waiting list and have my heart split in two every time someone announces a pregnancy...

and to all

That AF arriving every month is heart breaking Solaia I know how that feels and I haven't been TTC for as long. How long until you can go for AF?

That's good then, I hope ours can pick up too, I've got to try not to keep mentioning it, I just feel I have to prepare him in advance but it probably doesn't help me telling him at the start of the week what days we need to DTD!

I've started to keep of FB for that reason, there has been 3 announcements recently and I just burst in to tears, 2 pregnant with second and 1 pregnant with third, their first are all younger than my DD.

I've bought a booking from Amazon called Trying to get pregnant (and succeeding). It's a very interesting read and makes a lot of sense, I just need to programme my mind.

I'm onto cycle 35... I'm heartbroken again but just plodding on. Every month we edge a bit closer to IVF and our dreams.

I found dtd was really tricky after about the 18 month stage. Thankfully it has really picked up again and the last 6 months or so have been ok again. But yes there was a year in the middle with some issues. Just another way infertility can silently hurt you.

I'm smarting today from yet another round of pregnancy announcements on fb - there are at least 2 or 3 per week and each one (even friends of friends) pisses me right off. So irrational!

I'm on my 19th cycle MrsD0nnaLyman and about to ovulate - I'm going to test tonight. I've been using CB OPK with dual hormone, I'm not finding it great though (for tonight's test I'm reverting back to the normal CB OPK). Fertility Friend thinks I will ovulate tomorrow but that's working off a 31 day cycle and they are not all 31 days.

Having problems with DTD, it just makes it so hard having to do it at a certain time and OH lack of sex drive doesn't help. It's all been putting a lot of stress and pressure on us both. Fx we can manage DTD while I'm ovulating. We did once earlier this week but it was too early which was the fault of the OPK!

Good luck, hope you get your BFP

I have been using FF, but I'm going to compare what CBFM says in comparison to FF and then let you guys know if its any different. I kinda hope it is to prove that CBFM was a good investment!

Thanks Donna, we shall see...!

I bought a CBFM on eBay for about £45 and I buy sticks on there too. It is a great piece of kit but it does cost about £12 in sticks each month - great if you are actually fertile but I am beginning to require a small mortgage

Oh have you ladyboluna I looked at that & it looks great but its just a bit pricey but would get if we had the cash. AF doesn't half pick its times! I was spotting for 4 days then on a night out it arrives in full flow!

I've downloaded an App called Fertility Friend and on it I have to put all my information in & it works everything out for me so yes I'm obsessing a bit. It asks for your cycles length so I just gave it the length of my last cycle alrlthough my cycle lengths do vary from month to month so it's a good job I use the OPK as well. I've also started taking 'Trying for a baby' tablets.

I know what you mean we've been trying for 18 months & just not got anywhere so I feel I need to do as much as possible now.

Bobsy I've just ordered the clearblue fertility monitor after seeing your post and thinking about it last night. Af was here for me at the witching hour of midnight! Was a total of £120 including the sticks but it tracks everything on the screen and works it out for you. You poas when it tells you, insert it into the machine and it monitors oestrogen and lh. Also does pregnancy tests. Gives you 6 fertile days - high chance days and then tells you when you get your lh surge. You can input when you dtd and period flow.

Working it all out myself will be too time consuming and effort for me and I don't want to be obsessing. Using this machine for 5 mins a couple days a month will mean it won't be on my mind as much as doing it diy. 12 months of just dtd is enough now I want to feel in control.

Four days of spotting & AF is now in full flow from 3am this morning great just what I needed!!!

I've spent most of today crying partly hormones & partly upset that yet again I've not got pregnant, you'd think after 18 months I'd be used. Can't talk to OH because he doesn't understand & ends up having a go at me, at least I can chat on here.

I've just ordered an OPK with dual hormone indicator which tells you best 4 days to conceive. I think if that doesn't do the trick then maybe it's time to give up.

I do that too Solaia list many reasons why this is the month!

I know exactly how you feel Impatienceisavirtue

Few days into AF here. Again. Fed up - feels like the worst one as it marks twelve months of trying.

Sorry 34th, getting ahead of myself!

I am still waiting for AF. I'm slap bang in the middle of my 36th two week wait. No matter how many times I go through this, the obsessive early testing begins about 9dpo. Don't know why I do it to myself. I also obsessively list the 'many' half-invented reasons why this month is probably The Month.

Portly - remember that today is day one of your next cycle and each day is one day closer. Sorry to hear that AF has come, maybe treat yourself with an expensive bottle of wine?