How do you manage the monthly disappointment?

Oh, it's not really a limit as such,more of a mental one. DH has a medical condition which causes wonky sperm in 80% of cases. We knew it might have an effect, but we didn't really realise how big a thing it was at first. So as it's been a busy summer, we decided to relax the TTC for a bit, and then if there was still no BFP, to go and speak with the GP in September

I have a 7yr old DD from a previous relationship, and no obvious issues with AF or anything. So it looks like if there is a problem it's going to be DH's sperm.

I am 99% sure there is a problem, to be honest. The condition DH has, he has all the other symptoms/issues- it would be a miracle if he was one of the 20% with unaffected sperm. In my heart, I know that I am not going to be pregnant any time soon. We have not been trying for the full year yet, however, so I hope our GP doesn't make us wait, when it's pretty obvious there are underlying issues.

It's a bit depressing to be honest. At the minute it is OK, because I can still fool myself in thinking there is a good chance DH is fine, and every month I could get just as pregnant as the next woman but realistically I know it is more likely there is an issue, and when I see it in black and white, I am going to go to pieces.

Well, I had a bout of acupuncture and AF kicked in this evening. So maybe it sped matters up. Then again my app said P was due today, so maybe it's not related at all.

Big old cry, a relatively healthy dinner, cake and a game of thrones episode later and ... Still feeling shit.

FML.

valerie how come the limit for your other half to get tested? You never know it may all come back fine (although i know with my tests to date I've prayed there is something obvious - and therefore treatable - wrong) have you had any tests done?

I am not a control freak in the planning sense, but I do like knowing what is up ahead. That is what I find hardest about TTC I think- you don't know whether you will be pregnant in five weeks, five months, or five years. I hate uncertainty.

I am due AF in the next few days, and no symptoms of anything. Next month is our last month trying before DH has to go and get tested- in some ways I feel like it is a sort of deadline. I have about six more weeks to get a BFP, after that, we are officially joining the ranks of people who need their fertility investigated and who can't just shag until something happens

Thank you so much for your replies. What great advice from you all ~ thank you. As soon as I got in from work I emptied the beside cabinet of all the internet cheapies that I'd kept and been examining for the faintest hint of a line. I'm determined not to poas unless I need to on Monday if AF doesn't arrive.

A bit like you icy I'm not used to failing. I'm a bit of a control freak in all aspects of my life. We fell pregnant on cycle 3 of ttc but now with the pregnancy, mc and recovery we've lost another 4 months and have nothing at the end of it, it's so gutting.

I can hear the top coming off that bottle of wine tonight ...

The only thing I ever failed was my driving test - and even that I passed 2nd time. We'll be going into cycle 8. Not that long compared to some, but I think longer compared to most. I guess there have to be some poor fuckers out there on the further end of the standard deviation curve, looks like I'm going to be one of those fuckers!

Come on ShitBody just play ball! One job!! Arrrgh

Now I just want the rag to start and coincide with next week's (family - I have step kids for my sins-) holiday so I can get quietly blasted on gin.

I feel your pain too. Like many other posters I found getting pregnant the first time quite easy but this is more of a struggle. AF is 10 days late but I got a BFN this morning.
I am making the most of drinking wine and caffeinated coffee as well as enjoying quality time just me and DS.
Good luck to everyone on here

One day and icy - it's so pants isn't it! People who conceive first time don't know how lucky they are! I feel like I'm going insane. I poas today because my period seemed to have disappeared. Of course it was negative but I just felt a bit of hope. Ha. I'm toying with the idea of using some kind of sperm friendly lube as most of them die as soon as they are inside of you because the walls of the vag are apparently acidic. WTF! Anything is worth a shot I suppose but it's about £15. I'm going camping at the weekend and I intend to drink a lot. Ha. My hubby doesn't know how much I poas - he'd know I was crackers if I told him. X

Bloody post didn't post!!

Meant to say oh dear sounds awful Oneday, but honestly honestly don't do it to yourself.

This whole thing is so shitty, you don't need to make life more difficult.

Also. 10dpo is too soon. Most people who get bfp at "10 dpo" have miscalculated their ov date, so don't despair. Leave it until af arrives; getting that excitement and then the low when only 1 fucking line appears is too wounding.

You're not out anyway. So bin they sticks and live in a state of hope, it's got to be healthier than daily tears for a week :-(

Oh dear

Oops, that meant to say 'I'm 10DPO'

Hi ladies, can I join you?

OneDay, 27, TCC no1, MMC June 2014 (First proper cycle after ERPC for MMC 23/06/14) AF due 17th August

I'm DPO and tested with a FRER this morning, BFN. This lead to a huge crying session on poor DH. I'm desperate to be pregnant again. Trying to stay positive by drumming in the 'you're not out until AF arrives' mantra. I've also been looking at my FF app and noticing a temp dip yesterday and looking at all the charts where people have tested BFN at 10DPO and gone on to get BFP's but I just feel utterly utterly shite and gutted. Big glass of zinfandel with my name on it tonight.

DH has begged me not to put myself through POAS everyday now until AF arrives on Sunday but I'm a glutton for punishment

MrsD looking at previous cycles and using the ovulation smiley sticks, luteal phase is usually 14 days but I've had one month where period started on 16dpo and one at 15dpo.

This is crap. Wine,wine and a whine tonight I guess.

My cycle is 40 days long too, another kick in the cunt. Sorry if languag offends but it helps me!!

Told myself to man up so got a first response at lunch. That's £7.99 I'll never see again, ffs.

This month I'm going to cope with the disappoinent by starting acupuncture and weeping a bit. Woohoo, I know how to live.

Hope others have better luck.

Hi all, I'm in the same sort of boat. TTC#1.

Think back to how I was last November all like "oh dear my bf is getting married on October I might be due then"

Hahahahaaa. Yeah right.

I am today 15dpo. I feel different this time (although I thought I felt different last times). My sense of smell is off the scale, I think I'm aware of my boobs being sensitive, I'm shattered (I'm always shattered).

This month I got my doc to test my blood and all my hormones are normal.

I'm too scared to test. After spaffing £100s to date on ultrasounds, hpts and clearblue ovustick things, I'm done.

Altho, got an appoinent with te witch doctor for voodoo later (acupuncture) so that's £55 I could save if I am knocked up?!

Argh. Hate this whole process!!

Hi all, I'm in the same sort of boat. TTC#1.

Think back to how I was last November all like "oh dear my bf is getting married on October I might be due then"

Hahahahaaa. Yeah right.

I am today 15dpo. I feel different this time (although I thought I felt different last times). My sense of smell is off the scale, I think I'm aware of my boobs being sensitive, I'm shattered (I'm always shattered).

This month I got my doc to test my blood and all my h

Thanks ladies. Good luck to you all! I too enjoy the unprotected sex. Ha. It feels wonderful not to use any contraception so I shall enjoy it while I can. :) we've just put our house up for sale and so I think I might try and concentrate on house type things rather than baby making. See if I can distract myself a little... For months I've been taking my temperature everyday (which I've found fun although I'm not sure why) and I think i might have a month off that too. Who is due a bfp next? Xx

I just enjoyed all the unprotected sex and every month that passed without a pregnancy meant another month of not having to use any contraception.

Wine. We also have a 3 1/2 yo DS and it took 13 months of trying to get pregnant again, only to miscarry. Then another 8 months... to miscarry again! Pregnant again 6 months after last miscarriage and hoping for a good outcome (14 weeks now) but I understand how frustrating it is feeling left behind as your DC's peers' mums seem to pop out siblings with ease.

to you

Yep fingers crossed for us Ladyboluna

No hormones don't help at all. It's awful what we have to go through & what makes it worse for me is OH isn't very understanding.

So sorry MrsG1245 , it's so hard to just forget about it.

Oh mrsg have some wine and pate and smelly cheese tonight. Af is a cow. X

Sending you a hug Mrsg xx

Af got me this morning :( I wish I could forget about it all but it's always on my mind. X