TTC after MC. The ups, the downs, the never ending Toad in the Hole and the relentless onslaught from the Facebook faceslaps!

Evening all - hope we've all had good / peaceful weekends without stupid comments

lou and treacle I'm with you both - I'm 8 dpo and desperate to test!!!

Got busy week though so hoping I can keep going to next weekend before testing

Jump to it, Just! I started shagathon on cd7 and I have a 26 day cycle, ov on day 12, so carpe diem!

Fundraiser went really well yesterday :)
English, brave lady!
There were a few bumps at the event yesterday, but I was so busy, it didn't bother me, really.
Had some WTF spotting yesterday on CD6, but seems OK today. Gearing up for shag week. My cycle was only 26 days last month, so we may have a shot before DH goes to the States next weekend. Jeronimo!

I can sympathise lou!

Will be testing tomorrow even though I'll only be 10dpo as I just can't cope!
I feel exactly as I did when pregnant last time except for more nauseous.

Fingers crossed for us x

Hi ladies, POAS again today. Wtf!!! This time I caught myself opening the case and putting the strip to the light CONVINCED I seen a faint line. Obviously it was CLEARLY negative. In a way I wish AF would just get here to put me out if my misery. Not even due until next week.

hope im no expert but my gp told me that there is no normal after a mc, some womens cycles return to normal straight away others take months to get back to normal, so please try not to worry x

english you were very brave, I couldnt face a babyshower, im avoiding a bbq next weekend because I cant face the group of friends that will be there. I havent seen any of them since the mc and dont want to go through another round of sorry/at least you know you can get pregnant/you can try agains.

Well done English, you are stronger than me!

It will be you soon. Big hugs xxx

Hope, could it be too early to test if you're not sure when af should arrive?

Was just for fun Dulcet, still had a faint hpt yesterday. I wanted to start so that if I randomly ovulate soon after hpt turns negative there were some swimmers loitering. Obsessed much!!

Survived the baby shower without any sadness or tears. Just happiness for the mum to be. Although there was a girl there who has just announced her pregnancy - which I would have been doing around now if i'd not mc'd

Hi ladies. Just an update. I did a clearblue digital test yesterday and it came out bfn. I'm not pregnant and still waiting for AF. My first AF came on cd35.. I'm currently cd34 so I'm expecting it tomorrow. My cycle length used to be 30-31 days, it's definitely gone longer after D&C. Just want my body back to normal quickly. If it doesn't come then I will go see a doctor. I've never missed a period in my life except when I've been pregnant so quite worried.

I'd say still positive dulcet, sorry.
Best to test properly when you can though x

Just did an ov stick as that's all I have in the house, till strong positive. I'm guessing that means a pregnancy test would be too? Anyone know?

MC was only 9 days ago and i had a strong positive weds too so probably not actual ov...

Thanks everyone x

Af will be here tomorrow or Tuesday anyway so we will see.

Glad you enjoyed getting back to it english, big first step. Was that for fun or the start of TTC?

Hope you haven't got a bug either treacle, and the sickness is for the right reasons. We will be here with fingers crossed for you!

Sorry your night out ended in a cryfest marmalade but sometimes it really does help. I think I need to get to a big hill and just scream where noone can hear me, just to get it out!

I defo am unsure how DH has dealt with it all. He says he is sad, and I absolutely believe that, but he isn't always outwardly emotional and he has focused on looking after me. I hope he's ok.

Pg tests ordered. Will do one when they get here to see if I'm in the clear yet... I was just planning on ploughing through. Thought a positive in 4 weeks must be a new one but I don't really know. Wanted it badly before but it's worse now... Must stay calm!

Glad you dtd english I felt like another hurdle had been jumped over for me. Next steps and what not.

Thanks you lovely lot, very grateful you put up with me!

Poor you treacle hope you are doing ok, a counsellor could really help.

I get what you mean about DP being forgotten smiling
I also nodded when you said emotionally lighter. I do feel lighter. Though DH now has a large amount of mascara on his white shirt!

Thanks everyone. I think I may try and see a counsellor.

marmalade sometimes that's just what you need!

English, glad you managed to dtd :) it's a big step in the right direction.

I still feel low today, and incredibly sick again.
I hope I havent got a bug or anything :(

Morning marmalade

it took my counsellor telling me it was ok to say what I was thinking for me to finally stop biting my tongue and let it all out, some of the things I was thinking and said to dp were horrible and im ashamed of myself for thinking them, but getting it all out helped me let go of the anger I was feeling. I cried myself to sleep afterwards and then woke up feeling emotionally lighter.

treacle I think what made it so real to dp was that we had seen her heartbeat, it was so strong and it seems impossible that it just stopped beating. He is always saying that its harder for me but its frustrating that everyone seems to forget that he lost our baby too.

Glad your meltdown had left you feeling better Marmalade, sometimes it really is needed. A good cry, scream, rant can really release a lot of unwanted pent up emotion.

Oh Treacle, I really feel for you. Have you considered maybe talking to a bereavement counsellor, just so you can get it all out. I know some ladies on here have and have found it very helpful. Hope your symptoms are just that and not a cruel joke, but try not to feel to awful if not. Your body has been through a lot.

Managed to DTD last night no pain, not to scary and was nice being able to reconnect with DH physically. He's been amazingly patient.

Baby shower day today

Had a complete melt down last night.
Proper crying, proper shouting. Just let it all out.
I think I feel better for it.
We had to leave the event we were at early because I just couldn't cope and then in the carpark (secluded thankfully) had it all out.
I don't even know why I'm typing this!

I think it really hadn't hit hI'm yet. We have no children and also we were at the episode for scans every two weeks so it wasn't going smoothly.

I'm glad you are able to talk to him and understand km each other now :)

Earlier "symptoms" are going so guessing it was just illness not pregnancy. Will see on Tuesday I guess.

Oh thats hard treacle, dp was very excited to be a dad again and once we hit that magic 12 week mark we allowed ourselves to imagine life with a baby. We were both devestated but dp thought he was helping me by staying strong only like you I felt like he didnt care especially since on the day of my erpc dsd had her braces removed and he spent the day texting her.

with time and talking about it I now know he was distracting himself but at the time it felt like he didnt care because he has children so ours was somehow less important. A mc alters your perception of things.

Thanks smiling.

I completely understand what you mean.
It's not like that for DH though. He hadn't really accepted I was pregnant. He's tols me he doesn't understand because it wasn't real for him and he was upset the first few days but doesn't really feel the same loss as me.
I'm finding that hard to cope with to be honest. Like he never cared.

I feel like a failure when I see him cooing over babies and bumps. Gah.

Oh treacle big hugs from me

I had to leave a shop today because the lady in the queue behind me had a gorgeous newborn baby girl in her arms, I threw the shopping at dp and ran out the shop, he didnt understand and all I could get out was "she has a baby".

my counsellor tells me to write either a letter, text or email to him, its so much easier to not have to say the words to speak and I find even if I cant think of what to say it flows in written words, also I dont have to be near him to see his reaction so I dont feel as pressured to get it right iyswim.

Ive decided dp is playing catch up in his grief, he was so busy taking care of me at first that he didn't really start grieving for weeks after, now that im calmer and finding my way back to life he seems to be letting go of his feelings, ive found him talking to the rose alot and hes been having bad dreams, he reminds me of where I was about a month ago. I wish he would see a counsellor but he wont.

Oh smiling, i know how you feel. Sending hugs.

Just had to leave a bbq because two friends turned up with their baby. The group separated and all the girls I was taking to went over. I couldn't do it.
Come home in tears.
DH can't understand why I feel like this and I can't explain it either.