TTC after MC. The ups, the downs, the never ending Toad in the Hole and the relentless onslaught from the Facebook faceslaps!

You know I really don't care about TTC this month, I could quite happily not have sex at all. My partner is being all amorous and I just feel dead inside

That's exactly what happened lou! haha. How long until you are due AF or are you overdue already?

dulcet I can just imagine "yep, I won't try for a few months" comes out of mouth "AS IF!!!!" Screams in head!!!
Well AF or no AF that is the question. It's something I between which is pissing me right off. Just be a bloody period or be preggas but this I between confusing stuff.....grrrrrr

Welcome salty, sorry to hear you have been through this again. I don't really have any experience of a reluctant DH but I can understand him being worried about it happening again. You have to both be ready, I I expect its very frustrating for you if you want to get straight back to it. Is he the sort to maybe go for some counseling? That could help.

What an intrigue broody! I think you'll have to do another one later or tomorrow to see if its getting darker. Although that could mean ov or pg!

Booo to the rage marmalade, will it help to scream in here?!

Back from my acupuncture... it was pretty good I think. She knew her stuff and had this massive wall of cards and thank yous and baby photos of people she has helped conceive. Hoping I can join the wall soon. She did keep saying to not try again for a few months but we have already started. Kept that bit to myself...

I have the rage!
Must be AF coming?
I am properly irrationally angry and teary at the same time :(

Oh lou sorry AF got you :(
You are more than allowed to be emotional.

Broody how many dpo would you be?

For me slimy cm after ov has only meant bad news unfortunately although I know some people talk about it coming alongside implantation. The month I had that weird two cycle chemical I got a mass of bloody EWCM on 10/11 dpo, then got my period 13 dpo and tested positive on an hpt after my period. This cycle I had some slimy cm on about cd 21 which I thought could mean implantation but then got it again a day before AF arrived.

I would say keep testing and if the line gets darker it sounds promising xx

Welcome salty, I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. You will get lots of virtual support from this group, so feel free to rant and sob away - we're all here for you x

So ladies. Here's a question from a neurotic me for you... Although I'm sure I have already OVd last week, there's a few symptoms I've had the last few days that made me wonder if I actually have (swollen and sensitive boobs, slimy cm when wiping, a bit of a bloaty feeling at night, crushing chest pain and I swear I felt a bit sick last night) or if it's just a weird after MC/pre AF new thing that's happening now.

Having a slight addiction, lots of IC OPKs to use and it being Friday, I POAS. There's a definite but pale line there.

Do you think this is: a) I might be coming up to OV and I was wrong last weekend b) it's a faulty IC or c) I could actually be pg from just dtd once this month?!

I'm on CD20. Chuff knows how long I'd wait to get AF because I've only had one proper AF since the mc but normally I was a classic 28 day cycler. I'm a bit hesitant to buy a pg test this early because of the chance of a false positive/chemical but....

Hi can I join you?

I've had two miscarriages, the last one being last week so still very raw.

I want to continue to try but DH thinks we should wait a while but age isn't on our side. We'll see though!

I've told more people about the mc than I told I was pregnant, although nobody at work knows about either which was difficult. I think it is much harder to tell people you are pregnant and then have to break the news of a miscarriage than it is to just tell them of the miscarriage. Mine were both at 8 weeks and we had told a few people as an early scan had shown the heartbeat.

What's the best way to handle a reluctant DH - he is worried about going through another mc?

Dulcet it's something I've noticed too. It's only when you do that you realise how many people have experienced it. I think the aftercare is completely crap too. There's no follow up physically, but more importantly there's no follow up mentally. I work in the health service and we wouldn't dream of not following up our patients/just leaving them to it so I don't understand why it's different for miscarriage.

Booo to AF lou but agree your Friday night sounds great! Get eastenders and pizza in there and ill be round!

Why do you think people don't talk about MC? Me and my friend were talking about this, it's like a big secret but I don't know why. Not that i'm any better - I've not told many people - but not sure why.

In honour of POAS Friday I have done another pg test - still positive. Getting fainter though so that's something.

Ha ha lou that made laugh! Glad you haven't got to the drink with breakfast stage! Sorry AF got you

Congrats hope & brummie great news x

Ha ha lou I did think that but then thought well it's understandable! And your Friday night sounds perfect.

Er, last night I had wines. Not this morning!!!

one day I managed three massive wines as I knew she was here! It's a long shot that I'm preggas but just in case I will test in a few days as a really regret not testing last time. Tonight I am all about tea, chocolate, cuddles, corrie and sofa!!!!
At least I can drink in France next week!!!

Congratulations Girls

Aaah don't worry ladies will defo be checking in, only because I want to see some more BFP's!!!

Thank you for your lovely kind words as well - there is no lie I am bricking it!!! But trying to keep calm.

Those that asked about talking to people about the mc - yes I had told people I was pregnant. Not masses but really close people so of course when the cm happened these people were wonderful.

I am desperate to tell my parents but DP wants me to wait because of what happened last time - I'll see how I feel.

But I definitely didn't shy away from telling people either about the first pregnancy or the miscarriage.

In fact, the only reason they say you shouldn't tell people is due to what if you do have an mc. But my feeling is , if these people will support you during an mc and you want to tell them then tell them.

Thank you so much ladies though for all your support and being on this dark and sad journey with me. The support on here has been just incredible and when I've been distressed or angry it's swearing like a trooper then you've all been here and I absolutely cannot thank you enough.

I hope the only time I come on to this thread again is to check in and see how you all are and if they are any more BFP's.

But I'm only 3+2 so little little steps

here's to POAS Friday (even though I cheated and did it on a Wednesday !)

officelady how mean. I am in full support of the strikes. Not a teacher myself but work in the Health service so definitely sympathise. Another one for the JTFO list?

Mrs we had told parents and work we were pregnant but when we mc! we ended up telling a whole lot more people. I'm so glad we did as the support we've had has been brilliant and it prevented any insensitive comments. Although when DH was on a stag weekend last weekend he had a few comments/teasing about when we were going to have kids etc etc and he did tell them what had happened afterwards. Mrs try to stay positive, anxiety is a horrible horrible disabling emotion. Is there anyone you can talk to?

Hoping for good news for you marmalade

I'm sorry lou that the witch has arrived (if she has and if it's not some spotting - fx for you!) If it is AF, pour yourself a big glass of wine and maybe do something fun this weekend? I can't remember who it was now but someone said about planning something fun to do if AF arrived, like a meal out and drinks with the other half?

dulcet my friend had it. Didn't help her conceive naturally as she had IVF but she defo think it helped her relax which I turn helped the IVF x

Calmness lasted all of five seconds. Now totally emotional sitting at my desk. No doubt I will burst into tears when the preggas one whose bump practically touches my arm arrives in her fabulous outfit!!!!!

mrsbee, we had told the inlaws and I had told three fiends and two gym
instructors so they had to all be told it had gone wrong. I've since told two people at work about the MC due to needing time off for the hospital. I can see the value in telling people, it might be awkward for them but can be quite therapeutic for you to just say it and acknowledge it.

Two weeks today. Should be having my 12 week scan at 0950 today. Going to try not to think about it. I have my first acupuncture session today - recommended by my fertility clinic. Has anyone tried it?

Morning all. one day AF arrived this morning. CD 27 which means it was a 26 day cycle for me and according to cbfm I ovulated on cd 17. Not convinced I ovulated. Feeling calm at the moment and just looking forward and praying for this cycle to be a good one!
I will probs POAS in a few days if period is light as when I was preggas I thought it was a period and turned out it I was preggas and didn't know!

Lovely message lou and oneday I somehow had something in my eye when I read it.

DH woke me up in the middle of night and I didn't go back to sleep for 2 hours! Not like me tbh.

I'm pretty sure I'm bfn this cycle due on Monday apparently but my cycles are dodgy so who knows!
Bfn this morning!

Morning ladies - first of all can I say massive congratulations to the BFPs - well done Hope and Brummie, you are showing us the way and keeping the positivity flowing!
To whoever asked whether af was more painful after a mc (sorry can't scroll back on here) - yes and OWCH! I have woken up in the middle of the night with really painful cramps on all of my af after my mc. And the cramps are different to before as well, I used to just get occasional dull pains in my back but these are sharp pains and more towards the front/middle of my abdomen. I just mainline nurofen and wine to get through it.
I am having a really WTF cycle again. I'm on cd19 and have got some pink spotting and since I got up I have had a few very mild crampy feelings. Also I had a tiny amount of light brown spotting on CD13. Just no idea what the hell is going on this month but I stupidly POAS and it was negative which I knew it would be.
Gah. I hate my stupid body at the moment. And back to work today after being on strike yesterday - just checked my work e-mails and there is a tirade of abuse from a parent for daring to go on strike. Not directed at me personally but I have taken it personally Felt like e-mailing back "fuck off, and when you get there, fuck off a bit more" but I do still actually need my job so I sat on my hands.
Hope you all have a better start to Friday!

Mrs I had told a few people about the pregnancy however I have been very open about the miscarriage and told most people. I feel I went through a stage where I had nothing else to talk about and I think I may have put others in uncomfortable situations by just blurting it out. To be honest I think it helped as I needed others to know what I was going through. As Brummie said the number of people I then found out who had a miscarriage was amazing and all of then had gone on to have successful pregnancies. I think it's good to be open but everyone deals with things differently x