The Elderberry Pavlovas are tooling up and making plans to bust out of this joint! Evacuation by helicopter by end of September, no berry left behind!

Very happy to hear you and your dh have settled things batking, he sounds like a keeper

Your FC's approach is completely different to mine Chloe. My clinic said they couldn't re freeze previously thawed embies (same rules as food). I imagine if they're going for a day 5 transfer then they would want to defrost all 6 to maximise the chances of this. My FC are going to defrost 4 of the 6, let them divide once (ie leave for a day), then pop 2 back in. Very different/inconsistent approaches.

I'll dust the pom poms off this weekend (as long as you can return the favour in August)

Ola kitten, it is lovely to have real people to talk to!

chloe the argument was nothing, you don't mean those things, it's just all the stress bubbling over. You sound very like a good friend of mine who has v similar pil. They too went on a hol with them and my friend wanted to kill them by end but yet husband was saying we should holiday with them every year!! I don't think we realise how annoying our family can be to other people. Do try to make up when you are calm. Dh and I have had some humdingers!

I think ttc is a v different for a man. We are more in tune with it because of all the monthly changes our bodies go through. My dh would say until I'd say my period had arrived he'd forgotten about it. I also found it frustrating that he wouldn't get cross about it. When I was angry he would just say the same old stuff but what I really wanted was someone to rail with me against the unfairness and have a good old rant.

feather you made me cry with what you said about your dh crying in the other room. But bit emotional today, seems catching in here doesn't it!!

Hey ladies, wobble over! Thanks for all the lovely supportive messages. It's good to know there are other people who understand. DH is supportive, but he just doesn't get how the whole TTC thing hangs over me all the time. I bet it's not the first thing he thinks of when he wakes up in the morning. tiger you hit the nail on the head that men can just switch it off. rp what an eloquent explanation, I wished I read that earlier.

As tempted as my Aries personality was to say sod the transfer and then go to Marbella on my friend's hen and get wasted I took your wise berry advice. We're all sorted now although we don't entirely see eye to eye as he can't accept that his parents are just fecking too much at times

rain Good luck with the FC tomorrow.

kitten Welcome! I have PCOS. It usually means high LH though compared to FSH which doesn't come out from your results. Try not to be worried, you're young and the important thing is you've made the step to get tested. There are lots of things which can be fixed fairly easily with bloodwork and an US.

gillster My FET is a bit weird as I was on holiday when the transfer would ordinarily have been. As I don't normally ovulate, the doc said I could start a medicated cycle after my hols, on CD24. turns out I may be about to ovulate after all, so he has given me medication but less than originally anticipated. We had 6 day 1 embies frozen at the end of May due to OHSS. The doc has advised we defrost all of them, as we have the possibility to freeze again any we don't need. Down for a day 5 transfer on Sat. Originally we planned on putting 1 back, but am now tempted to go with 2. The fertilisation rate was pretty rubbish from our cycle so am I worried we have crap eggs and/or sperm.

BTW was it you who did the pom pom dance for lumen, maybe you could bust it out again!?

Finally a huge berries thanks once again for your support tonight, I really needed it! You're a lovely bunch.

Don't worry Kitten, we all have our moments of monopolising the chat!

I would definitely push for day 3 bloods to be taken as soon as AF rears her ugly head. Quite a few of the hormones are measured on this date to give a baseline response.

Between all of us, the Berries have a lot of knowledge!

Ahoy thar Gillster
Yeah I was going over and over my results printout and poring over everything I could find online, and the date thing just confused me thoroughly. I wasn't told to go on a specific day, just to book in for bloods, so then when I saw all the refs to set dates I just didn't get it at all.
Day 28 today and still nada with a BFN, last few have been 26, 28, 37 and 20. So err... yep! Hehe.
I apologise, didn't intend to burst in here and monopolise the chat btw.

Hugs to the berries having a tough time of it at the moment.

Your FET sounds quite different to what mine will be Chloe. Is this a natural cycle FET? How many days is it since your embies were frozen. How many are they defrosting and how many will they put back? I'm sure you'll patch things up with DH and that this is just a blip as a result of all the stress you've been under over the last few months in particular.

Hi Kitten! Welcome to Berry HQ, make yourself comfy. In terms of your LH and FSH tests, I would expect these to be done at around day 2 or 3 so I wouldn't read too much into the results just yet. Try not to worry too much until the tests are repeated, hopefully at the right time! What sort of cycle lengths have you had recently?

tigerdog thank you love, I'm a lurker and a first-time poster as of today and didn't know the etiquetter, didn't like to barge in if you have a cosy set-up in place.
Thank you all for asking, it's a huge relief to find people to talk to tbh. Found this all out on Friday, and had a pre-arranged trip out to the zoo the following day with the in-laws for MIL's birthday. Including our three nephews and heavily preg SIL. Whom I all love, but... no, that was hard.

rainy you are on the money. It's the hardest thing in the world to have honesty in tough situations, but is so needed.

Moi? Ah I'm not woe-ish in general, the name is a hark back to a very old web comic thingy from many moons ago but bless you sweetie for asking.
Sadly I am woelike currently though, due to - wait for it - ttc blues!
We got married last year, I came off the pill, and Husb and I have been ttc for 15 months now. No joy, 2 poss chems but I don't know as my cycle's gone crazily irregular. Went for blood tests on Wednesday and a downstairs MOT on Friday. Physical went fine, but my blood results weren't favourable: LH and FSH levels all wrong. The bloods were taken on day 23 (still no AF yet) so I don't know if that will have impacted it, but I got a LH reading of 36.6, FSH of 56.0, Dr advised poss polycystic ovaries or early menopause, awaiting a clinic referral now for more tests and a scan. Scared tbh, I'm 32 and bricking it.

hb big hugs to you and don't beat yourself up about getting upset and ranting at people. I think we've all done it at.

Big hugs to you too Chloe. I hope you can make up before bed, as rp says going to bed angry isn't the greatest. What you are going through is hard, and the whole ttc experience tests us all. For me, I think the most difficult things is being unable to escape my own body or switch off from ttc. For men, there just isn't the same issue, and I think that's why it can become so difficult, as they can tune it out but we can't.

hi kitten I saw your other post and was going to suggest that you drop by here, as you fit the berry bill. You'll find lots advice and support from the lovely ladies on here.

Batking how are you today?

Chloe don't go to bed cross with each other. Go and tell him just what you said above. You are worn down and scared and don't want to fight, but sometimes you find it hard to deal with his parents because you are feeling vulnerable. But you don't want to go to bed cross.

Then do the form..... Anger is a short madness and you will kick yourself in a week if you miss this chance!

Hi kitten what's your story?

Sorry to see we have so many glum berries today. Big hugs to rosie, chloe, hb and barking.
It is so hard to have honest conversations about all this bollocks, even with our other halves. I like to think MrP and I have a good, communicative relationship generally but he doesn't know half the stuff I witter on to you lot about. I hope you each manage to sort things out, and soon. And hb I hope you've stopped the shower now - the tears obviously needed to come out so don't fight them.

Welcome kitten! I note the 'of woe' at the end - care to share your ttc history with us? You'll get nothing but sympathy here!

FC is tomorrow, stupidly scheduled annual review with one of my team who's about to leave us on maternity leave just before I have to leave for the appointment. What was I thinking?!

Also welcome to crazy and kitten. I am also seeing a reflexologist crazy

Oh, chloe, I'm sorry things are tough for you. Ttc is a stressful time and there seem to be a couple of us feeling it particularly badly right now. Take the consent form tomorrow. It is one argument, really, he is still there with you, you love each other, this stress will pass and you will have a beautiful family together. Again, the most important thing is you love each other, I cannot stress this enough. and big hug from me.

Barking, totally agree with the others. Seeking an honest and open conversation is probably difficult but important for you. You've been through a really rough time. And your head is really unbelievable. It's really the school's loss.

Thanks for all the berry support. Thinking of you all. xx

Big un-mumsnetty hugs to all you berries who need it (unfortunately a few at the moment). This ttc malarkey is so hard on relationships but we need to believe that our time will come and our oh/dh/dp's will make fantastic dads even if some of them are currently being dicks

My otd is the 9th chloe. Struggling to get my head around a 2ww where I actually have a real chance which is why I have not been posting. Boobs ache but I know that is the progesterone. Off to sleep before my alarm wakes me at 4.15am night all

Hi berries.
I'm new around these parts (posting-wise) and feel a bit voyeuristic reading through all your posts, but please may I join if that's cool? You all seem so fupping lovely.

chloe you poor thing. It sounds like it's just a stupid old argument at a time when you are both under a lot of stress. TTC is bad enough - but in-laws on top of that sheesh. It's more than anyone should have to bear all at once.

Hand the consent form in as planned (I'm assuming that's what you planned). You'll probably have stopped hating him quite so much by the time the FET comes around and will be looking forward to finally getting your baby together. And if by some strange chance you do decide that he's someone you never, ever want to see again, well then no one is going to physically force that FET on you - and any money that you've lost will be the least of your worries by that point.

And if you need him to sign the form then explain the above to him. And promise that if he still hates you by FET time that you will do the honourable thing and not go ahead - but could he just sign the form now on the off chance that he does decide between now and then that you're alright really.

This will pass. Can you go out for a walk or have a bath or something to relax a little bit until you feel better?

Ps. They're definitely bakewell tarts but with fresh fruit, chloe! Sending every Berrie in the world one by telepathy now!

chloe so sorry you're having a shit time. I'd take the consent form tomorrow if I were you. Sounds like ttc pressure and you shouldn't letlet anger/upset cloud what you guys are aiming to do. pil's are a pain in the arse. Grr. Do you think it's worth a talk with eh tonight so you high don't go yo bed upset with eachother?

Sorry for the double posting but this is going to be long... Anyway I need a bit of berry support as I feel like I'm falling apart...

Had my US today and all went well. CD24 and the dr had previously said that nothing would likely have happened by now in the cycle due to my PCOS and the fact I don't ovulate. Turns out I have a big fat follie growing which may well pop soon. Not sure if this is down to the IVF or the acu and weird Chinese herbs.

Have to go back for another US on Wed, eggs are due to be defrosted tomorrow and then transfer on Saturday.

Got back home, told DH the news and then had a huge argument which has left me crying locked in the bedroom. We were on holiday last week with the PIL (long story, not my choice). I wasn't in the best of moods due to stress with TTC and work, plus the fact that the PIL can drive me crazy. MIL has been on the phone asking if everything is OK (they don't know about the IVF largely due to unconstructive and ignorant comments from their side). I tried to explain to DH that I just find it hard being away with his parents as they are so bossy and domineering (I phrased it more tactfully than that). He denied it and said it's all my problem. I got upset and said I don't know why we're even thinking about having children.

Am such a mess now. Have to take the stupid consent form to the dr by 9am tomorrow if we want to go ahead with the FET. But at the moment I can't help thinking we shouldn't be bringing a kid into the world on the back of such a stupid argument. Even though we love each other so much I just feel so alone going through all this and that he just doesn't get how hard it is. Sorry for the self pitiful post.

First things first - those tarts look amazing feather. Quick, eat them now before your OH gets back and then don't say anything.

HB Have a good sob and then maybe go and make yourself a nice soothing herbal tea to sip. Feather will send over the last remaining frangipani tart for you. It sounds like you've had an evening from hell. I think you need tea and sympathy rather than a wang.

barking what you have been through is a huge strain on both of you. The suggestion to try for a frank and open chat is a good one. It's not always easy to talk about these things, but then it's not at all easy to be going through them in the first place. Going through all the crap together rather than alone is the only thing that can possibly make it slightly more bearable.

Not sure if you're reading this funky but I just wanted to say how sorry I am about your news. Please don't write off the IVF just yet, give yourself some time and then maybe reconsider. Like barking said, the IVF might be able to shed more light into what's going on.

barking Well done on your bike ride and don't be to hard on yourself! Each day I am more than shocked about what a coldhearted witch your head is. You've been so brave through all of this and I really commend the commitment you've shown tying ends up for the sake of the schoolkids while you're having such an awful time yourself. You'll be a great loss to the school I'm sure.

tiger Sorry re the instadiffer, it was totally out of order for her to tell you by text after you'd confided in her.

rosie Yes thyroid can be an issue for men as well so it's definitely worth getting it checked out. DH was told by the FC that he should get it looked at as his levels were a bit borderline. But then it turned out it was just a one-off as all his previous tests had been fine. Sorry you're both having a tough time at the moment. I can really relate to it, as TTC is hard even for the strongest couples.

feather So sweet of you to bake a welcome home gift. I would love one of those - since emigrating I really miss bakewell tarts (sorry, yours look much more sophisticated than bakewells!)

lumen I missed all yours news las week, but am really glad all went well. Have you got an OTD yet?