New balls please! The BESH are hanging out the cunt bunting for Wombledon and saddling up for the Tour de France!

Hags!
Sorry for the awolness - have been without proper internet for days, work has been horrendous and I'm bloody knackered. But apart from that, all ok. Told the in-laws and my Mum at the weekend which was lovely. They are all very happy and excited. Only 5 more days to wait for the big 12 week scan and being able to officially tell people. I already have the shits just thinking about it. For some reason the 12 week scan seems a lot scarier than my 7 and 9 week scans. I STILL don't feel diffed!!! I keep thinking the worst.

Cunty and Barking still got hold of your toes and sending whatever woo messages I can through my dodgy internet...not blasted baby dust though. Never that. WTF is it anyway?

Rain hello stranger. Fingers crossed for your appointment and the SA results. Just cry or shout or have a breakdown if they even dare to say you've only been ttc 7 months. How fucking dare they! Don't mess with the BESH.

On another note, thank you for reminding me of ER and all the handsome doctors...George Clooney obvs but what what that young doctor with the fair floppy hair called. He was niiiice

Back to work...and the madness

Ah Cunty :-( I'm not sure we have any other choice but menkal. I'm basically perma crazy and I'm not even differed (checking for preg symptoms this month even though we actively haven't tried!) I'm sorry for your menkal but I reckon you probably just have to ride through it.

Hope everyone else doing ok, Erica - Id like to offer advice but I am insanely naive about this all. In fact, I still have no clue what half the acronyms on these posts mean - can someone point me to somewhere that will teach me?

I'm still lurking. Early pregnancy seems to have turned me into a gibbering nervous wreck! I can't stop pissing on sticks just to check that the line is still there, and really got myself in a panic yesterday because it was fainter than a couple of days earlier. I've managed to convince myself it's ectopic because I get cramps on one side, and if my boobs stop hurting for a while it sends me into a tailspin. Why am I so bloody mental?!

Rain - I hope it goes well at the FC, and if they do try to reset the clock kick up an almighty shit-storm!

Barking - I'm keeping everything crossed that you get good news. Hake of Hope and toe holds for you!

rain I'd be prepared to kick up a bloody big stink if they fob you off. I don't reckon they'd give you the appointment though if they weren't prepared to help, I'd take it as a good sign .

fizzy that's just fucking typical isn't it? Have they told you potential recovery time? Is the hen do such that you could go along and be there, if not actively participate? Still an arse, just wondering how much damage limitation could be possible.

Erica my advice would be to ignore the spotting. If memory serves it took me over 4 weeks after my mc to get a bfn. My cycles went awol for over 3 months, spotting randomly all over the place but never af. I'd just go to the cabin and take some or gin with you and dismiss it as a mere annoyance. Easier said than done but the may help .

I'm on countdown. Less than 48 hours before they tell me whether anything is happening in there despite the dodgy start. A large part of me is very scared that I'll start crying before I've even arrived at the clinic.... The memories of last time are too vivid .

Whatuuuupppp hags!

My AWOLness continues, and for that I am truly repentant. I have been self flagellating with the perch of penitence and have done about 50 Hail Tanquerays to make up for it.

fankle how did the in-law telling go?

fizz what a fucking PITA. How dare you try to actually, y'know, have a LIFE. I suppose you have to drop everything then if you don't want to be shunted into 2015?

Erica try not to menkul too much. If I'm reading your post right (soz, can't scroll back to your BESHtionnaire) it's been 3 weeks since your D&C? I am pretty sure your Doc would say this is all normal as it can take 6-8 weeks for cycles to get back on track (my MC was natural tho so I may be a bit off-piste talking about D&C stuff).

Effin one an hour?? That's a scary thought. I am imagining your GP to be a hunky George-Clooney-when-he-was-in-ER type now. Glad he's getting the ball rolling for you now. RAF is off for his 2nd SA this week in prep for our next FC appt in 3 weeks.

Am totally dreading it. I have the sinking feeling they're going to tell us our natural BFP (despite ending in MC) puts us back to square 1 (aka only 7 months ttc instead of 27).

fab, cunty, bugs, cherry, barking - hope you're all alright! (plus anyone else I've inevitable missed due to my shitto memory)

Did anyone get any replies yet from the science fred?

Fizzy I am so sorry about the horrendous timing. That really sucks. I won't ask about changing dates because I am sure you have already looked into it (shakes fist at the sky on your behalf).

I don't know what to do. Got the most nearly-non-existent BFP two weeks ago, a week after my D&C. My doctor told me to expect for it and the spotting to completely dissapear within a week. But they haven't, they are really clear (dark?) too. And the spotting continues. We've had sex a few times before I realised I was still getting BFPs (after some suspiciously bold OPKs) but I know I am not pg, however I am worried about the spotting. Could I have an infection from having sex too early? I know that going to the doctor is the sensible option but we are on a foreign country, about to travel to a cabin in the woods for a few days so I'd rather not add more TTC related drama to everything if I'm just being paranoid.

I appeal to your wisdom BESH!

Hey Effin!

Glad to hear about your new doctor and THANK YOU for asking about the alcohol/conception thing, let us know what they say.

I am currently on holiday, attempting to TTC but two weeks after my D&C I am still getting fucking fake BFPs. Also spending time with lots of friends and family that have young kids. Everyone is lovely but it's tough, specially for my husband (we are visiting his of the family/school friends etc)

So let's just say that a few glasses of wine are very much appreciated and wouldn't want to go without them unless absolutely necessary!!

Hi gals,
Been off on hols and my phone is a bastard to type on, so been absent for a wee while.

EricaJ and Blue good to hit on a decent doctor. (Well probably not actually hit on them, but you know what I mean). I think we might finally have found a decent doctor after TT went to ask about getting his jizz tested - this guy was totally sympathetic and just booked it all in. But apparently we have to wait 2-3 months for a slot. The GP said he gets about one person an hour with fertility issues in the surgery So I guess that's why the other docs at the practice have just tried to fob us off for as long as possible. Last time she said that the only thing to try next for me is to test for HIV and syphilis! This new guy was keen to get us in the system and do all the basic tests, because they take so long, so if we go on to further procedures all that will already have been taken care of.

I also asked a Q on the Sense about Science about alcohol and conception. I am not a total lush, but it just really makes me miserable not drinking at all especially in this lovely weather. But then of course when I do have a drink I feel massively guilty.

Hope you had lovely weekends all. Happy birthday barking and hope you survived the outlaws fankle

How did the telling the in laws go fankle?
I've been away for my birthday, I'm a happy hag who doesn't want to acknowledge it's work tomorrow....

Thanks ladies...and sorry for taking us off piste with my beauty based question. I might do that Fizzy if I feel brave showing 'strangers' my ugly legs. It's just so yucky and makes me feel self conscious. But I felt comfortable sharing with the BESH. Oh well. That's what nude rights, fake tan and Sally Hansen are for. It could be worse...that is the only thing I would change about my appearance if I could.

Have a good weekend ladies! I am at the inlaws and trying to avoid wine without seeming suspect...FIL is away this evening and we want to tell them together, so will have to be tomorrow morning. I'm sure MIL will be wondering though.

Hi Erica :-)
I'm pretty new to this board too but I've been hiding cos I'm pretty good at being avoidant :-) I have been following your posts though and am glad your doctor is nice too - it really makes a big difference

Hello Fankle's ankle (nice sandals by the way!). I really have no advice apart from lots of gentle exfoliating with a hot cloth and moisturising like crazy, maybe with an organic oil? My mother in law swears by pure coconut oil for everything.

Also, yay!! to summer in Europe! Winter is just arriving here...

Barking I got an uber positive OPK which I'm pretty sure is Hcg left over. Then again, the month that I did get pregnant I got negative opks every day so I don't know why I'm so obsessed with them. I think I just got addicted to POASing! Fuck it, I think we are just going to have sexy times every two days for the next couple of weeks. We are on holiday, it can be done.

Hi Blue! Nice to hear your doctor is so lovely! I am convinced that mine's own great bedside manner is making things 100 times easier for us!

Hi fankles ankle!! I have no advice but I'm very excited to see your leg anyway.

Still nipping in and out. Finally went to the doctor today to get the whole possibly Ivf process rolling. She was lovely and very helpful so that's nice for me.

Am keeping up with all best I can! Catch up again soon

This warm weather brings with it the need to expose ones legs. I fucking hate my legs! I mean, they're nicely shaped but their complexion is horrific. I have to wear leg make up to go bare legged. They've always been like this but it's getting worse as I get older. I'd rather have big fat legs with a nice creamy complexion than skinny blotchy, veiny, red-verging-on-purple legs.

Here is a photo if you think I'm exaggerating. How do I deal with this ugliness?!

Sorry to unleash this outburst on you ladies but I really hate my legs!

Instadiffers have no idea of how lucky they are!!!!

I've got the rage!!!! There was a post on my local town website about someone being annoyed at the heavily pregnant women outside the maternity wing puffing on fags. Much vitriol ensues - the pro-ers coming up with shit like I smoked through all my 12 kids and there (sic) all fine and the haters saying fuck the stupid whores etc. and then one particularly dozy caa who says it's just too difficult to quit smoking so it's better to carry on than risk the trauma of withdrawal says this

'So she didnt drink tea or coffee no fizzy drinks just water in her pregnancy then sontino . No tuna runny eggs mayo soft cheese cottage cheese washed all veg and fruit before she ate it ?? Defosted meat over night in the fridge and not on the side or in the microwave ????? No mother is perfect there is no such thing as being a perfect parent honestly'

Erm.... Really??? Jesus!!

Ahhhh this is where you all are! I thought I had lost you!

fankle It's so automatic and ingrained now that even if I get a real life baby I think I'll still rage at everyone who got one easily .

I've not been cycling since the day of treatment, just in case. It's killing me, as I'd otherwise be doing 40 miles+ on my road bike, or off on my mountain bike evenings & weekends, but I can't risk a) 'pushing' it too hard and b) falling off. I've been knocked off my bike before so I know it's a risk out of my control. And the possibility of going on a ride, getting bad news and then thinking 'what if?' just isn't worth it.

cunty I asked about wheat free and acupuncture, thought they might be up their street!

erica I'm not sure, I temped and opk'd post mc but then gave up as my cycles disappeared so I never got a +opk anyway. Maybe just try one now and if it's - you can keep pissing on them until it's not? .

My D&C was on the 31st of May.

Alright hags!

I thought the fertility Q&A thing was more about dodgy snake-oil style products and treatments being touted as miracle fertility boosters. Had a look on the Sense about Science website and that seems to be their main focus. The publish brilliant reports on the bollocks touted by celebrities making pseudoscientific health claims: www.senseaboutscience.org/subjects.php?action=tag&id=44

I have a question - this is my first cycle post mc, I haven't had a period yet.

Does anyone know if OPKs would be reliable at this time, or if I would be getting false positives because of remainig Hcg levels?

Barking it took my sister two cycles from going off the pill to get pregnant with both her children. But she claims to understand me because 'those two BFNs (one per child) were SOOOOO frustrating'. Bless her (or kill her, like I sometimes want to do).

Fankle No, the rage never goes away I don't think. I get ragey against celebrities ffs. Ah well. At least we can express our rage in the controlled environment of the BESH instead of rioting at Mothercare.

Thanks Rain - I can now see that he was making an unfortunate joke and not telling me 'stop fucking with our heads with those semi pregnancies of yours', like it felt at the time. I am still angry at him but I can see it wasn't intentional.

I am also a bit obsessed about the age/fertility thing. My family are not only instadiffers but YOUNG instadiffers. My mum had 4 kids by the time she was 32, two of them 'accidents'. However, I read this article a while ago and it really put things into perspective.

www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

It basically says that, personal circumstances aside, the 'fertility declines dramatically at 35' fact is horrendously outdated (by, like, two centuries).