New balls please! The BESH are hanging out the cunt bunting for Wombledon and saddling up for the Tour de France!

Hating the world so much today.

Effing Sorry to hear about family stuff. It's so hard. Scotch eggs and wine are awesome though and seeing the sort of habits some instadiffers have, I wonder sometimes how much lifestyle affects ttc...

Apart from Kate M, I had three, THREE, FB pregnancy announcements and a 'welcome our beautiful baby to the world' announcement this week ...and it's only fucking Tuesday!

All of them have been with their partners way less time than Mr Erica and I (not even counting how long they've been married...two are 'honeymoon babies'). Aarrraghghhghg!

I just want to switch my brain off. I won't ovulate for another week and then the two ... three weeks to find out if we are going to be disappointed for the 60th time or so. I need to prepare two presentations for work and all I can think of is baybeebaybeebaybeebaybeee...

Buggeration. Just re read my message this morning and a section was completely missed off! I don't know how that happened as it was in the middle...the long and the short of it was that after my annoyingly twee comment to Barking I was fully expecting a shower of something hideous! I know that people are only saying those 'just relax and it'll happen' comments with the best of intentions and pretty much everyone I tell about our ivf journey has a good news story, but the reality for me is that it hasn't happened. So despite their well meaning stories I still want to punch them. Hard.

loving the daily mash - hate hate hating the news. Jeezy chreezy it's fucking unreal and so NOT news. And just generally ridiculously sycophantic. Even if we weren't trying to make a baybee it would make me vomit. And I'm totally not jealous of someone who got married after me and is now on baby no. 2. Nope, not jealous at all.

To recap - Bugs - phenomenal news you're on mat leave - doesn't seem two minutes ago that you were off sick and doing your IVF round - it was all worth it :)

Effin - loving your Breaking Bad mood bitch! Sorry to hear your have family poorliness - offering the halibut of hope that everything works out ok.

Cherry - go lining! Holding onto a toe that it does it's bit.

Barking - stepping back sometimes is exactly the right thing to do - I'm so pleased it's working out for you. Now all you need is your body to follow suit.....just relax and you'll get pregnant right?

Paul Hollywood. He's a guilty pleasure isn't he? Ooh those twinkly eyes.....and yes Kate Bush has to come under the lezzer crush hall of fame surely. And loving Blue's Kate Bush moment too. Sometimes it just needs to be done :)

If only Vix, love it!

Sorry for your news Effin, but at least it sounds like your body will be ready when other circumstances fall into place?

Kate and the associated media frenzy can fuck right off. Even the Guardian website has a live blog of the royal announcement so you can read 'as it happens'!?! Jeez.

This has kept me amused though. I wish it were true: www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=76716&print=1

Its the speculation and conjecture that goes with it all that I can't bear. If they told you just what they actually know and cut out the crap then we'd all be less nauseated. All the eventing coverage from the World Games is littered with Zara P baby references too. You wouldn't get that focus on any other athlete, makes me ggrrrr!

Sorry you've had shit family news Effin, hopefully your bod will be ready to go again when you are. Sending you the welks of willpower to resist those pesky scotch eggs.

Mmmmm, season of mist and mellow fruitfulness, love sloe gin Vesp, loving this amazing late summer weather too. Have a fab hols. Glad the career change is suiting you Barking, sounds like you're making the most of it too.

I walked in from work just as the six o'clock news came on (we leave the radio on for the dog, he likes a bit of radio 2) and it's headline news!! Wtf?! I almost did myself an injury bounding across the room frantically trying to get to the radio to turn it off .

Three days left to holidays then vesper .

AAAAAAAAH good god yes Kate Middleton can FUCK RIGHT OFF.

All right, to be fair, all the people who think it is exciting that there is a ROYAL BAYBEEE OMG SQUEEEEE can fuck right off. Kate is not inserting herself in my FB feed personally.

Other things that can fuck off: BW who is away on business in Greece and has just emailed me a photo of the sunny beach he can see from his hotel window: work, ALL OF IT: this apparent hormonal rage-crash.

On the brighter side, I am off on holiday from Thursday. We are going to a wedding on Friday (no children, I hope) and then heading to Snowdon for a few days. And I went to the pub on Friday and drank with my friends and felt like a human (sort of) and then picked sloes on the weekend to make sloe gin with.

Sorry about the family stuff effin and I'll add some more cheerleading for cherry's lining!

Yep, Kate can fuck right off. I've just removed myself from the break area as they're all talking about it. I was in there on my own then another girl came in, checked her mobile and said 'oh, Kate Middleton's pregnant again!' After seeing my not-remotely-disguised scowl she said 'I take it you're not a royalist then!' I didn't think it sensible to proclaim my general hatred of all pregnant women royalty or not [PESH excepted]. I was hoping that was the end of it but then others came in and the conversation turned to babies. So I walked out.

Sorry to hear about the shifty family news eff but good news your body seems to have sorted itself out.

Happy Monday all! Since leaving teaching DCW says I'm a changed woman. Far happier and far less stressed . He said he couldn't believe the difference. Unfortunately it's making him think that perhaps he needs to leave teaching as well. But one of us needs to be off during school holidays when we finally have a kid!

In other news...
AF finally turned up after mc unexpectedly, only 3 days after I was still getting faint pos pg tests. Ah well, hopefully it means my body's working things out somehow.

Hello and welcome to the new blood bothers and martini and, er katebush (def BESH lez crush). Sorry things are rough for you at the moment. Paul Hollywood eh? Makes me feel a bit queasy tbh, like when I realised I fancied Noel Fielding after a night of filthy dreams. Very Wrong and over that now. To introduce myself, I'm married to TT, 36, ttc #1 since Feb 2013, 2 anembryonic mc's in the last 6 months - 6 weeks and 11 weeks. No intervention as yet as basic package of GP fertility tests 'normal' and NHS won't do anything for mc until 3-in-a-row.

lugs I do love that story. Sort of in a tears-and-laughing-at-the-same-time kinda way. You are an inspiration. Maternity leave - shit is getting real yo? Awesome. Enjoy it.

Frankly I feel sorry for the kids growing up with parents whose only topic of interest is them. Talk about pressure! My babies, should that ever happen, will be practically feral.

Some crap family news means I'll be putting ttc again on hold for a bit longer than originally planned as I need to be at home and looking after other people for a bit. Unfortunately, staying with the folks also buggers up attempts to eat healthy and drink sensibly as my dad mostly survives on red wine and scotch eggs. Wonder where I get it from?

Oh and you can fuck right off Kate.

Go go go Cherry's lining!!

Sorry you had to go through such an annoying evening Barking.

My pet hate is people going 'I know - flutters eyelashes- that we talk about kids all the time... BUT YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW IT IS UNTIL YOU HAVE THEM YOURSELF!'

Please bitch. I know lots of parents that are nothing like you and have some respect for the lives and interests of the childfree among us, so don't pretend they gave you a lobotomy while in labour, you never had a brain to start with!

And on that cheery note, happy Mondays, hags!

Go cherry's lining!!

I can't imagine a day when I'd rather talk kids than dogs or bikes...

I do solemnly swear Blue

Go Cherry's lining, you can do it!

Barking, cherry - promise me we will never become one of those even when we get our babies?

It's good to be chipper, make the most of it Erica. Sure, cop a feel Barking. Anything I can do to make up for the hideous company you had to endure last night, be my guest!

Gah, I hate shortsighted folk like that who can't see past their own shortsighted lives. We have a couple of friends who have NO other chat than their darling offspring. Every gathering/party there are a couple of 'supermums' who manage to crash every interesting conversation with dull discussions about school PTA politics and the like. So fucking rude.

Yesterday I finished my last norethisterone. Thank fuck. Poor ROCH has nearly lost his head a few times these last couple of days. Now do your thing lining. Hoping for a bleed by Wednesday...

Nowt wrong with feeling cheery Erica, we might be barren, evil and selfish but we don't have to be miserable not all the time
My phone actually auto corrected that to Nowt wrong with feeling cherry but I think cherry might have had something to say about that.

I had a new anti barren experience last night at the 40th of a very good friend. I've known her years, but most of the friends there last night were her local friends, some of whom I know by sight and to say hello to, but not well. So it was DCW and I pretty much on our own, as everyone else knew each other. We were both tired, he was driving and so not drinking, but we attempted to make conversation with a few people we didn't know. The first three attempts all went exactly the same way after which we gave up. Once we'd said hello and introduced ourselves the questions went as follows:

1. How do you know the birthday girl?
2. Where do you live?
3. Do you have kids?

Upon answering 'no' to question 3 we were, every time, then pretty much ignored . They could relate to our answers to 1 and 2, and stretch a few minutes conversation out of them, but they weren't interested as soon as it became clear we couldn't swap stories about our kids. I've never felt so immediately socially rejected for not having children. Saying 'we've got a dog' in answer to question 3 went down even worse.....
Has anyone else experienced this?

Beautiful morning out there today hags, hope you're all enjoying it .

Morning hags!

That sounds like a brilliant evening Barking :)

Rain Enjoy Mauritius, you won't be that far from me, you know! Mmmhh... rum sours! Amazing!

Sounds like everyone had a good Friday night. I went for dinner and drinks with friends and it felt soooo nice, so normal. It's not like I haven't left the house for ages or anything but lately I had been feeling like this little black cloud was over my head and I couldn't get real enjoyment from things like an evening out friends etc Last night I finally started feeling like myself again and not just a big, fat barren failure.

Ok, enough cheese. But I am feeling rather cheery, hags. Please don't kick me out.

Can I just have a brief moment?
A year ago this weekend I had to attend a Friday wedding full of bumps, and a Saturday wedding full of babies, at which I discovered that DCW's best mate's wife was just two weeks more pg than I would have been if I hadn't been stood there miscarrying. A year later the couple who married on the Friday have a big bump and we're waiting for tests following our second mc. So. Humph.

Anyway, generally, I'm quite happy all things considered, just needed to get that off my chest!

Welcome vesper, sorry to hear of your recent mc, I'd like to say I'm shocked at the incompetent scan experience but it doesn't surprise me at all. My last pg was after iui. At the start I was told by one nurse it wasn't looking great, the second that I'd need a miracle as my bloods were too low, and 2 days later the third nurse told me that all was great and they'd just got my dates wrong in my notes....

rain rum gets my vote. Right up there with gin if it's dark rum, either O'Haras rum neat, or an slightly inferior rum mixed with ginger ale.

I had a gin after work tonight then rode home. Stopped on the way to call and find out where DCW was and he happened to be in a pub with a couple of friends on the way home so I went to that pub to join him. Then we decided not to bother going home to cook and went down the road for a meal. Just got home. What unexpectedly pleasant evening!

bugs maternity leave already! Hope your last day was good and now you get a bit of well earned rest before buglet makes their appearance!

fucking hormones! The one thing I always really crave when they strike is a really hot bath, but I can't ever bring myself to do it cos of the stupid bloody 'what if' every month.

barking sounds like a great changeabout in work/life balance for you - can only be a good thing!

fank we need the PESH to keep stopping by, you guys are our motivation! Tell cunty to get her arse over here and tell us how she's doing!

Hello viper - I feel like I recognise your name. Were you on the ttc after mc thread a while back? Sorry you've had such a crappy time, but welcome in. Despite your weird Paul Hollywood leanings!

I'm off to Mauritius tomorrow hags, so I will be off the grid for about 10 days. I'd say I'll miss you but hopefully I'll be too busy having fun for that - is rum an acceptable substitute for gin?

I've forgone the gin for some antioxidants red wine tonight. And used it to wash down a beautiful rare steak. Even my experimental rhubarb puddings hit the spot so I am basking in my own culinary glory. Cheers hags.

Glad you're enjoying your new found freedom Barking, congrats Bugs, you're on fucking maternity leave, how did that happen?!

Fankle we're tryyying... I'm out for the September cluster diff but rooting for those on the post MC fertility high.

Hey up, more fresh meat... Vesp, sorry to hear about your miscarriages and the accompanying shizzle you've had to got through. Anyone who uses black humour, swearing and gin as a coping mechanism is good by me.

In other news I am snappy as hell on norethisterone. Poor ROCH. Last day tomorrow thank god now come the fuck on lining.

Urrgh, I typed big reply and it's gone!

So in summary, I luff the PESH too! Maternity leave and babies are genuinely ace when they come from
a BESH so don't feel the need to be shy here. How is cunty?

Vesper - sorry to hear the shit, you sound like a true BESH to me.

I'd write more but I'm premenstral and actually want to throw the phone against the wall for deleting original message so id better go get gin

Rain that gig sounds amazing! Inspiration.com!

Bugs Hope your last day goes well! I would be emotionally wreck too!

Fankle My lap pal! Don't feel bad! Please keep popping by, we'll miss you otherwise Have a great holiday, lots hag-like hugs going your way, lady!

Welcome Vesper and sorry to hear about your mcs. I miscarried for the third time three months ago. We've had a lot of drama (two failed IUIs, then discovering I had asymptomatic endometriosis etc) but we are also trying semi-naturally until Christmas or so (I am taking Femara) and reassessing if I'm not preggers by then. Next step will probably be IVF.

I also keep telling myself about post mc increased fertility! Fingers crossed!