Home on the amazing and determined TTC after mc-ers. We know all about the ups and downs, trails and tribulations,, how it feels to live in the cruel world of Facebook baby bombs. Solidarity, sisters!

brummie, don't bear yourself up about it. We all want it so much.

monten, sorry to hear about your dad. Hope you've had lots of looking after today.

I've been quite down today. Dreading being observed tomorrow but in a way want it over and done with.

No slap for brummie, just hugs.

My stats- I'm 28, TTC #1 since Sept 13, although had an MMC and SMM in February and then a break til mid-May. Never got any idea when to test as my periods are so irregular, it's not unusual to not see AF for 5 months, so trying to think positive!

My DSIL is due to give birth in about a month, which is a month before my old DD which sucks for me!

he died FFS

smiling I'm so sorry. It's so fucking heartbreaking isn't it? And exhausting. Allow yourself to be bloody sad and hacked off for a few days and then before you know it it will be ov time again. Every month is a new month.

I am so sad and tearful today. I basically woke up and started crying. Really sad about my dad, he does four years ago next month and I miss him so much, we were very close.

So I know I've had a miscarriage and it's not surprising I feel sad but I feel very unlike myself and am starting to think it's these antibiotics I am on. Metronidazole. Anyone else been on them? Have been reading stuff I lime and it seems I am not the only one who has experienced very unpleasant side effects. Dizzy, sick, vacant, depressed, and very very tearful. I really want to stop taking them.

Massive hugs and a tiny sardine slap for brummie.

Have just had a read and a catch up. Am still stopping at the insensitivity of some people in real life - i feel so sorry you have to face this. Having a newborn shoved into my arms whilst mum said midwives complimented her for doing it all so easily. Ffs.

Onto stats:

Dd 2.8
3 mcs between April 2012 and April 2013, 2 mm, 1 twin pregnancy

Referral to St Marys showed no cause but hyperparathyroidism study did. Currently waiting for endocrinologist referral to discuss next steps. Oh and on vit D treatment as levels through the floor.

I need a slap, I've just POAS and no surprise, it's BFN.

Why I thought it would be a BFP I've no idea. It's only been 3 wks since my MC. I've just feeling exhausted, peeing a lot and have quite a lot of discharge and felt quite wet (sorry waaaay TMI) which were same symptoms I had when got BFP.

I guess it was hope desperation that made me do it

Af is here, very light and early

Just had some spotting so I guess af is on the way

im trying to stay positive but I just want to curl up and cry.

Sebamummy I get what you mean about considering quitting altogether and stuff. I feel the same. One thing that keeps me going is my husband has a son already, and it's very hard on my daughter seeing him come and go all the time and not be particularly interested in her- he only talks about this other sister he's got at his mums. Makes me so sad and one day she will realise. So I'm determined to give her a sibling before she starts to realise how awkward things are!!

I don't think it works like that anymore unfortunately. They just write a caveat underneath of something similar to; if you don't hear within 6 weeks assume your application had been unsuccessful.

I look after animals within the science field broody. Not along the lines of beagles being forced to smoke fags, more along the lines of breeding fish and monitoring frogs.

Still, it's a bit rude not to give you an update sebs, least they could do is say they're short listing or are taking time to review applications or just a simple sorry, you've been unsuccessful this time. What is it you do, if you don't mind me asking?

Thanks smiling. It was an online application both times with a confirmation email afterwards so I know the applications were received

treacle it doesnt matter if youve been back its perfectly ok to say I tried but it isnt working I need more time. Do whatever you feel is right for you x

sebsmummy thats really rubbish about the jobs, is it worth contacting them just to check theyve recieved your application?

Sorry just seem that I've waded in inbetween a conversation, sorry girls xx

Another Low on the CBFM cd10, no EWCM, instead I'm getting the kind of creamy cm indicative of pregnancy, albeit with negative hpts of course!! I assume my progesterone is still high, will be interesting to see if I ovulate later this cycle.

The amount of times I swing between quitting altogether and sticking with one child as it's so much easier, to convincing myself he needs a sibling and I will really regret it in the future if I don't 100% try whilst I'm potentially still able.

I'm upset that I've heard nothing from the two part time niche jobs that I applied for two weeks ago. The industry dictates that there wouldn't be 100s of applicants as most people wouldn't want the work that I do and it's quite specialised. Anyway, I haven't even been called in for an interview even though I've worked for the (MASSIVE) employer before, quite recently.

Thanks everyone.

The problem is I've already been back.
The head has been good in one way, she's giving me all of Tuesday to catch up with work. In another way though she's set up this observation and still pressuring me about sports day.
I'll see how I go. Really don't see the point me being observed though.

I think if id worked in an office or supermarket etc I would probably have gone back sooner but as a nanny whos rresponsible for 2 children I just didnt have the energy to give to the children.

that sounds terrible I know but for the first month it took everything I had just to get through the day there was nothing left over to give to the children

I know if they were mine I would of had to but its different, they were a reminder of what I didnt have ie I love them, cook for them, take them to school, help withhomework, bath them, put them to bed and then leave them to go home because they arent mine

Agree with what bootle says. We are all so very good at feeling guilty. When did we learn to be so hard on ourselves? Sadly, in my experience, no one gets a medal for soldiering on. You need to be the guardian of yourself. There is no 'should'.

Facebook unfollow has saved my life. Everyone who is pregnant has received the treatment, as have some others just for being so damn annoying.

We are Mrsgingerbread :)

Thanks boozle, sports day is nearly organised now I just need to get some helpers.
You're right I do need to look after myself. My head is just a mess. As for my observation, i don't know what to think. I've planned it but I know it won't be good.
People just expect you to be fine after a week. It's been a month since I started bleeding so now I think they have forgotten all about it.

I took 9 weeks off in total - I felt guilty but my doctor said I needed it to physically recover - although it did get complex physically to be honest it did me the world of good to be allowed to get my head straight. Sports day will still happen other people will pick up the baton. If you want to use my planning for various sports day events based around the Olympic values you're welcome to it - just leave it at school and take the time to recover - school definitely shouldn't be observing you - it's the last thing you need! The rest of the the things are so small in comparison to what you're going through. You can email reports through and I'm sure the children won't notice if you're there for transition or not - as long as they see the setting that's all they need. Make sure you're giving yourself a break and don't be so hard on yourself. This is the one time you need to think of you :). Big hugs xx

I'm sure it is af Treacle remember, we are special!

Just, I love the fact you've posted a cat picture! I'm definitely going to discover unfollow buttons, it'll make life much easier as I get my daily fb fix!

Monten, I'm not sure why people want to put pictures of their womb on fb but I'm pretty sure they haven't been in our position or they'd know how much it kills the rest of us! It's pure jealousy on my part though!

I also found a smoking, drinking mother and, very uncharacteristically, gave her a bit of a bollocking - think my hormones were all over the place on that day - or that's what I'm blaming! Super unfair!! Xx

Haha don't be silly monten :)

I am sitting eating biscuits and chocolate now after a long chat with DH. Not good for my diet!