The Berries: On knockerwatch, sniffing willies and clinging to the coat tails of the continued clusterdiff (thread 21)

just a quick message (teaching 8-6 this fortnight) to say congrats to wino, sympathy and arm hold for you rosie, and have an AMAZING day tomorrow Feather! we are actually going to a wedding as well - not ours. I'm sure the flowers won't be nearly as beautiful as yours. it's sunny here at the moment, hoping the weather holds for you.

turns out 18 year olds can be insensitive, sexist dickheads. maybe they've been turned into Alltwat acolytes.

Anyone remember batfink?!

Ah rosie I don't have much advice really but I totally identify with what you're saying and experience very similar feelings every month without fail. I just try to think positive, do something fun and let myself imagine the future when this agony of ttc is behind me. I'm right behind you at 9dpo and all I can really offer is a hug and a hand hold.

Berry love to you all today!

Hi, sorry, me again. Can someone please give me a wang or something along those lines? The crazy is in full swing here. I think I'm 10 dpo and desperately want to POAS even though I know it would take a miracle for us to conceive naturally. I am obsessed with all things ttc at the moment, cannot concentrate at work, am trying to work out how to get my hands on the money we need for IvF, am desperately trying to keep myself from googling what exactly the chances are etc. I have now arranged a date for the next SA - 21st July - at least some kind of anchor so I don't feel completely lost. And to top this all, next weekend (when AF should just be leaving) I signed up to spend at a tournament - with ex and his new (younger) GF and DP will be at the other end of the country . ARRGH.

So, Berries, what do you do to get your head out of the crazy zone? (Not that I am saying you are as deep in that zone as I am...) Advice, please?

He he, hi finky

Thinking of you today rain

Just ran out of first sniffing bottle mid-sniff this morning, thankfully working from home do could get second bottle. Didn't realise I was near the end of the bottle, I could have been an hours train ride away phew....

Best of luck tomorrow feather, happy wedding day. Am jealous as I loved ours.

hi to everyone else, almost the weekend

I meant FUNKY! And BATKING - bloody autocorrect

rain huge hug and for you today.

baatking I thought exactly the same thing when I woke up. Slept in (till 7am) for the first time in ages and didn't need to wee. Hang on in there.

Thanks for those who shared their wedding disaster stories! Can't bloody wait for mine to fall apart at the seams. And thanks everyone else for your kind wishes! finky flower market at 4.30am because we went to the wholesale flower market - it sells mostly to florists, so cheaper, better quality etc.

Rain, I'll be thinking of you today, . A busy day with nice plans with MrP for dinner sounds good, though. I hope you will get through today and that, somehow, it will get easier. Be kind to yourself.

Win, great news. I hope this makes you feel reassured.

Barking, I'm so sorry that this is such a difficult journey with so much anxiety. I completely understand what you mean. It is ok to feel scared but this will pass (mindfulness mantra here, all of those feelings will pass). The doctor seemed positive though so I would cling on to that. Here is a big hug from me and and I am keeping all fingers crossed that everything is fine.

Feather, happy wedding. I hope you have the most wonderful day with the right and lots of and sunshine.

rain hope today is ok. If there is still grief there then don't feel you can't express it but hoping you can also look forward and see a happy future. These milestones are so tough. Thinking of you and sending love x

Thinking of you tomorrow Rain. Try not to think about it too much if that's at all possible. We could drive ourselves insane thinking about what should have been.

Happy Wedding Day Feather if I don't get online tomorrow! I'm sure it'll all go swimmingly. Hang on, isn't it Happy's wedding this weekend and Feathers later on in the month?

On phone right now so can't do a list. There should be a fairly up to date one on page 1.

Oh rain bless you! that must be so hard! you're being v brave, hope you can manage to have the best day that you can all things considered.

serenity I just had Ivf this May! got a bfp but big bleed afterward and recent early scan didn't show all it should so getting rescanned on Thursday, hopefully it'll have grown by then, fingers crossed.

Discovered nice non alcoholic drink, crabbies cloudy ginger beer. Comes in big brown bottle, blue label, mmmm!!

Hi y'all!

win so pleased your scan went well!

RP I remember that feeling! I didn't head over to the chopper properly till my 6 week scan, it still felt early but I needed advice.

Feather just in case I forget, have a fabulous wedding!!!!!! Don't stress, it's just about you and him and your day

Welcome serenity you've found a good gang, I'm a berry grad. Had successful ivf in January, a few berries have had/having ivf so ask away with any questions.

Hugs rain reaching what should have been EDD must be tough

Hugs to all!

Losing track of you all, new list?!?

RainDrops I think lots of people on this thread know exactly what you are expressing.

feather love peonies! I had peonies, stocks as roses for our wedding flowers. My bouquet is dried and next to our front door in an old jug now
I hope the weekend comes together beautifully for your nuptials!

Spent a lovely evening with my niece (5) and nephew (3) + family tonight but just left with this feeling that I can't see myself with that life. I think the fact that it's my EDD tomorrow is not helping although I've been maintaining a staunch ostrich approach to that all week. Got a busy day planned tomorrow and drinks and dinner with MrP. I am aiming to get through it without any tears, but I don't fancy my chances really. Every time I let myself think about the future I'd thought would be starting right about now, even for a second, I start getting that horrible choked feeling.

Ugh, sorry for self indulgent post. Going to bed now.

serenity if it is any consolation, my wedding didn't go as planned either....because it didn't happen! Perfect wedding abroad and honeymon road trip all booked in 2012 but when we told OH's parents they totally kicked off. We decided not to do it for fear of permenant relationship damage. We went on the trip anyway though, as we couldn't get the flights refunded, and had a great time!

I do love a good diet triumph story happy! Bless that lad!

Funky - should start in July.
I have huge exams next week so that ruled out this month. I've been sick for weeks and haven't studied. Oh well shit happens.

I can't watch wedding shows. I get cranky that mine wasn't the way it was meant to be. We had torrential rain and flooding, DM cancelled, dress was wrong, bridesmaid dress never turned up and people didmt turn up for the wedding!

Tiger you've got me watching the obese programme now too. DP will go mad when he comes in. Apparently all I watch are programmes about weddings, babies or fat people!

Oooh are you hoping for the power jet effect on your tubes tiger? Fx!

at Kirstie Alltwat.

DH is going to stay with his parents tonight as they are renting a cottage in the area for DMIL 60th. We are taking them out to dinner on Saturday night. We decided to tell them this weekend about the pg as I told my mum the day I found out (she has had mc herself and knows a positive test does not equal baby). But then I thought it was unfair not to tell MIL too. Bit nervous.

For some reason DH and I always refer to babies as dinosaurs. I have no idea how that came about But it is handy for talking ttc in public. Now I am fairly convinced I will blurt out to MIL nervously, "Guess what, we're having a dinosaur!"

I may also have told DH I was pg by shouting dinosaur dinosaur whilst waving a pissy stick in his face and that may explain why he was slightly nonplussed at first

the op is on Monday funky.

OH is away and I am indulging in shameful tv watching: Obese - a year to save my life. The personal trainer dude who does the programme is FIT!

Fantastic Win! What a reassurance for you!

Why were you shopping for flowers at 4.30am feather?!

Tiger, when is your op?

When will you be starting ivf Serenity? Sorry I know you said you were being referred but can't scroll back on my phone to see if you said when?

Hopefully the op will get things sorted for you Tiger and of course you'll be diffed in no time!
Bushy I cannot take credit for Kirsty Alltwat. Someone in the FB group christened her that!

tiger I was told to come in morning think it was 10.30 or something and think was 2nd that day. My dh took me in but then went home and they rang to say when to come back and get me. I think it was 5 when I came round and then I wasn't ready to be discharged so had to go to another ward. They won't let you go until your bleeding has slowed, you've had a wee and you are ok on your feet. Don't think we left the place til gone 7 or later, a long day but I was out if it for most of it so didn't bother me.

Sounds lovely happy lol at Kirstie alltwat.

happy it's a laparoscopy to check for endo. I have very heavy and painful periods, as well as pelvic pain randomly throughout the month. Dreading it a little bit, mainly all the hanging around - have to get to the ward for 7.30 and then wait for my slot. Knowing my luck I'll be last - they reckoned I should tell OH to pick me up mid afternoon/early evening.