TTC 10 Months Plus, Supporting Eachother & Staying Positive :) new thread!!

Good news victoria! The waiting is just so frustrating I know. Oh, and I checked the printout from dh first SA and nope, no MAR... I'll mention it at my next appointment though (which is to discuss going forward with "assisted reproduction" - I don't like that term!)

And metal, my cycles are around 31-33 days so I know how you feel, the extra few days make a difference when you're waiting to start again.

Yay vic, finally some good news! Fx everything will run more smoothly now you're in the hands of the right people.

Oh and the confusion came about as the GP managed to refer us 2 separate ways! One via the clinic and one via nhs choose and book.

Ha! Take that NHS! Decided today that I would make some calls about this weird telephone appointment next week. Somehow managed to be put through to the person I would have spoken to at this appointment! She said "funny you should call, your notes have just landed on my desk and I was going to refer you this afternoon to a consultant" and that I don't need the phone call next week! The Dr is going to read my notes this afternoon and decide if we need more tests and a letter should be typed and sent tomorrow! Apparently they leave a big enough gap to get the tests done and then we can see a consultant!! Told them we were on hol late September and she said oh it will be way before then! Omg! Its all happening now! Should know early next week what the next steps are!

Yep I'll ask when we get dh's tests back (hopefully) at our joint appt!

I really do think GP's are rubbish with this! Lots of us have been fobbed off! After going on at mine about dh's results being bad she actually called the clinic to find out what they meant and apologised for not believing me! Its worth researching yourself and telling the GP what you know.

NICE don't actually recommend testing for Antisperm Antibodies by the way as not enough research has been done on the outcome of having them. Lots of places don't even test for them. Luckily (?!) here they did. Did I really want to know though?! Would I have been happy just knowing about the low morphology and trying to boost dh's health? Can you lot check your sa's and tell me if MAR tests are present? Just out of interest. Don't mean to worry anyone, just raising awareness.

Thanks cooper - my cycles average about 35 days, but can be up to 40+ which means everything just seems to take forever (waiting to ov, waiting for AF...).

On the subject of AF, ever since my erpc after the mc my periods have been really light, and this one seems to be the same again. I'm seriously worried I've developed uterine scarring and that this is preventing me from getting pregnant again. I saw my GP about it last month but he wasn't worried, so I think I will pay for a private ultrasound scan to hopefully get some peace of mind, or if not at least a diagnosis which might get me on the way to the right treatment.

Victoria the more I think I know the more I feel I'm actually drowning in a vast sea of infertility words I realise I have no idea the meaning of! Frightening really - that's why when I went to the Dr I was really annoyed about having to chase how we get DH his appt - and being made to feel like we were the first couple in our area who've ever needed to ask these questions....very annoying!

Ah you reminded me that my DH had two ops when he was an early teen I think to drop a ball - it worked once then just went back up so he had to have a second procedure!! Poor chap.

That's the brilliant thing about this thread (and forum overall) the fact you can learn so much from other people - cheers to mutual information-sharing!!! x

Oh no victoria, that's seriously rubbish :( is icsi the best way forward then?

Hi metal, sorry to hear about mc and af arriving :( how long are your cycles usually? And I looked briefly into private but it's not at all doable for us right now :/ prices are eye watering!

Ha, don't worry Laura I'm completely selfish to my problems! I concentrate on everything male factor and know virtually nothing about female infertility. I've no idea why some women have infrequent cycles. Maybe you could educate me!

Dh had an op when he was 11 to correct his pee hole ouch! we reckon this is when the blood/sperm barrier was breached and rendered him infertile. Men who have vasectomy reversals are also at risk of Abs. Over 40% bound is classed as 'significant' in the world of infertility. Dh has had 25years to build up to 100%. :-(

oh Victoria I didn't know about any of that - i'm being quite selfish so far and been concentrating on what may be wrong with me because of the non-existent cycles. DH has his sa tho on 13.08 - he's crap tho eats junk constantly and no exercise. Was also quite poorly as a baby himself on lots of meds which secretly I worry have caused harm and set us up for a failure now. It may give him the kick up the arse I think he needs to get serious. Now I've said all that they're probably bloody Olympic swimmers....

Metal we're considering private after our initial consult at NHS hospital. I'm hoping it'll make things faster if we actually do need any sort of treatment. Luckily we have family who are willing to pick up the tab....have no idea if they know what they may be in for..!!!

Sorry to hear about af metal :-(

cooper - the blood and sperm never normally meet but due to injury/infection the blood/sperm barrier can be breached. If this happens the white blood cells sees the sperm and presumes they are foreign bodies and make antibodies against them, as they do to viral infections etc. The sperm get coated with antibody and either cannot penetrate through the egg if the Abs are on the heads, or cannot swim, if the Abs are on the tails. 100% of his sperm were coated with Abs rendering them useless basically. I'm getting dh to take vits so we can improve them for ivf. I think they "wash" the sperm to get rid of the Abs for icsi.....

Hello everyone, and welcome cooper! I haven't posted for a while though I have been lurking.

vic I'm really chocked at the level of incompetence you've had to deal with from the NHS so far! I think the consultants are usually good once you get to them, but the way to their door is so complicated and fraught it really is not a very good system in my view.

Blueberry yay for your +opk, and fx for you this month.

Ginger glad to hear that your DH's results were normal, even though I totally understand that it's frustrating at the same time as you think 'well if everything's fine then why isn't it happening?'.

I too had been so hopeful this month as we'd timed everything perfectly, I'd used Conceive Plus and bum in the air, plus on 10dpo I had really bad cramps which I was convinced was implantation... but alas, the witch arrived today bang on time. With my long cycles that means I've only got one more shot at getting upduffed before my due date for the pregnancy I lost, and I honestly don't think it's going to happen. Strangely though I'm not feeling too bad today - must be getting used to the disappointment...

I emailed a local fertility clinic today to see how much an assessment for me and DH would be, but at £675 I think we'll try the GP route first after this cycle! If he sends us away again because we haven't been trying long enough we might have to reconsider though, as we had a chat today and agreed that we can't keep trying forever as the strain is just too much, and also the age gap between DD and any potential sibling would get too big for us eventually. In my head I've given myself a deadline of September 2015, which would mean a 6-year gap; though we'll have to see how we feel if and when we get to that.

Hi victoria - I've heard of the antibody thing but not entirely sure what it is sorry? And dh morph is 2% too. :/
Count and motility have improved after Brazil nuts, almonds, lots of spinach and avocado and zinc tablets, morph improved too actually, was 1% first time! He doesn't like taking supplements so zinc is the only one ATM, everything else from diet.

How many SAs have you had done? Is there anything they can do about the antibodies?

Hi girls, hi newbies :-)

I've decided to just wait out the week until this phone appointment. If that is a waste of time then I'll think about complaining. Not in the mood at the moment.

lady def get on to the docs for tests, it takes forever. We started getting tested in Feb after 15months and only just sort of referred now, and that's only because I kept chasing. We'd still be waiting otherwise if I didn't follow up on letters and results as they've kept forgetting and losing stuff!

Hi cooper, welcome to the group. How low was your oh's morphology? We have severe male factor and it sucks :-( 2% morphology but 100% antisperm antibody bound, which is the big infertility issue. Without the Abs we would still have a natural chance. Dh is taking wellman to try and improve things but the Abs are here to stay.

Good news re regular cycles, lady, it's a start at least. And I second the suggestion about getting referred early as the nhs waiting times even just between appointments are ridiculous. I've had the lot, day 3, day 21 (three times, definitely ov-ing but I knew that as I chart bbt), hycosy and internal and external scans. I've spent a bloody fortune on parking!

Hi laura, glad you've managed to kick start your cycles :) and there are a few things can be done to improve sperm results which we've tried most of and we did have a quite noticeable improvement in three months, still not great morph though :/

Hi to blue and ginger :) sucks to have to be here but nice to meet you all otherwise

Welcome cooper I am also 28! Sorry to see you on here though, I have just passed the 13month mark and it's been a very difficult few days. I was convinced this was going to be the month. Know just how you feel about being stressy and worrying it's never going to happen You are in good hands in here though!
vic Oh My God is all I can think to say. It is just getting beyond a joke. Are the NHS notorious for being dithering idiots in your area? (Obviously don't count yourself in that category if you work in the hospital!!) i would definately start kicking up more a fuss. I know it's hard to summon up the enthusiasm when you feel down anyway, but I really would think about putting in a complaint. FX for you that you get somewhere productive soon.
Lady one thing I have noticed after ttc-ing for 15 cycles ( I have quite short cycles) is that my period does vary from month to month in length,colour etc. Don't worry or try to read too much into it, unless you suspect it's IB of course in which case POAS away!!
Blue hurray!! Amazing news!! Here's to getting some even more amazing news in two weeks time!
may sorry about your results. How crap. Hope you get a speedy referral though and some positive advice and actions. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try clomid for a couple of months alongside DH following a really healthy plan, if he's keen of course!
Well my DHs SA has come back all normal. Went to discuss again with the Dr the other day to try and get things moving a bit quicker, but she said she couldn't justify putting me through as an urgent referral to gynae because of my age and the fact I already have a child. I see where she is coming from, but in my mind those two factors suggest it should have happened by now, and there must be something stopping it from happening. I will get an app date sometime in November, so I guess I'll just try to be as healthy as possible and keep trying before then.

Vicky Jesus your really not having any luck I agree with may I think you should make a complaint its beyond stupid now.

Welcome Cooper

Lady I would get the ball rolling now with the tests it can take so very long and if there is a problem it might be an easy one to solve.

I went in t start the ball rolling at 12 months im on 16 months now and still not done with it all!!

Well after my first positive opk have dtd as much as we can so fingers crossed.

Really nervous this time, now that I know im finally ovulating I feel overwhelmed and worried stupid huh

Victoria get that complaint in, sharp-ish. Bloody ridiculous. Everyone treats 'this' as if it's the first time they've ever come across it, ever. Really doesn't help does it? Please, please kick some arse for all of us girls who are on this path and keep us up to date about what's being done...

Lady have you tested yet? It sounds to me like you've had a proper af but if you've got a cheapie test you can 'waste' then i'd say give it a go??

Cooper hiya! I've been told I may have pcos too (i have my first hospital appt on 20.08) and very non-existent cycles. I have no idea whether men's stuff can be improved (mental note to check?!) but for the pcos i went on a low GI diet and had my first af in 7 months! So pleased, now hoping I can work on becoming more regular...!

cooper Mine are regular at about 26-28 days. We haven't had any tests yet, we're going to give the CBFM a few months to get a really good idea at whats going on etc then go the GP if we still don't have any luck. We think maybe giving it 18 months or so in total would be good before we ask for help. Have you had anything done then? You seem like you have.

Hi lady, we're both 28 so I know time is on our side but it doesn't make me feel any better! :/

Have you had any initial tests done yet, and are your cycles regular etc? I've had a bit of a read through the thread but there are a lot of names!

Hi cooper me and my DP have been having unprotected for 12 months now too, I know how it feels to hit that milestone. I celebrated by buying myself some shoes and the CBFM.

How old are you buy the way? Me and DP are also youngish (I'm 23 and he's 24).

Hello everyone (waves) can I join you lovely ladies?

Dh and I have been dtd unprotected for a year now, actually "trying" since February, there's a very long back story but basically thought I had pcos although no symptoms (although ov'd late and had 40-odd day cycles twice this year) and dh has low morphology.

We are youngish but I feel like it's never going to happen and I'm getting very stressy and anxious and unbearable to live with! :(

They really don't seem to have a clue to they vic.

Sounds to me like you're now overdue a formal complaint into the overall patient care team in your nhs partnership Trust. They ultimately deal with complaints for all areas (gp and hospitals) and I am assured by family who work for the nhs that once a complaint is made your treatment improves dramatically!

It is shocking how much money is wasted holding pointless appointments and sending pointless letters etc. Give them hell vic.

Sorry! I don't know why that posted again! I get different heaviness of af each month. I probably wouldn't think too much of it.

So this telephone appointment is with a gynae consultant not the fertility clinic. That's why they don't need hubby. Also it says that the consultant has not read a letter from the GP so could refer me on to 'someone else more specialised to treat my symptoms'!! Wtf? GP 1 called Friday to say she'd finally sent off the referral letter with our tests Friday, I received the appointment letter Thursday. She has no idea how I got referred before my notes had gone and now this is the consequence. A blind appointment with anyone was made who doesnt know our history, or that its hubby that's the cause of our infertility. I dont have any 'symptoms' to treat. This call is going to be a wasteof time unless ssomeone reads our notes and makes us both the proper appointment. Don't know who to call and complain to. The GP or the clinic, or gynae!?

Also they said please bring thing letter with you to your appointment, this is a telephone appointment, there is no need to come to the hospital! They should really read that back to themselves.....