TTC 10 Months Plus, Supporting Eachother & Staying Positive :) new thread!!

I think that's for the best metal, don't take no for an answer!

Aww no vic :( the stress of ttc does weird things to us, I'm sure it's just getting to him and he doesn't know how else to show it.

How long have you been trying for? (Sorry to ask) is there any way you could take a month or two "off" and see if you and dh can have some couple time?

Hi Shan sorry to see you here, but nice to meet u at the same time ;-) Most of us seem to have been married 6 years. Something about 2008 bringing us here?! I can't advise you much as our problems conceiving are male factor, although I'm always monitoring changes in my cycles like a hawk! Hope you find answers here on your road to a bfp!

Hi Ladies - I'm new here, I've been reading a lot but this is my first post. A little bit about me, I'm almost 32 and I have been married 6 yrs. we have been TTC for 11 months and I'm starting to lose hope. I have spotting a week before my period religiously, my GP has said it is cervical entropic and that it shouldn't interfere with fertility, but if I'm having a mini period 7 DPO I'm not sure how it couldn't affect my fertility. Anyways, I've now been referred to a gyno so I will wait and see what they have to say, however, it won't be for approx 4 months. Anyways - looking forward to joining his convo, it's refreshing to know there are others with the same struggles.

Hi girls, sorry to hear some of you are also feeling shite right now. I blame it on the rain after such a sunny summer!

Sorry af got you blue it sounded so promising :-(

Infertility is such a hard thing to get your head around may. I still cry and feel angry, and prob always will! Ovulating actually makes me sad as I know its just a waste of egg. I'm finally ovulating today! Day 19! I blame stress as I've also got eczema coming up. Usually ov before cd16.

Why won't men talk to us?! Me and dh had a 'near fatal' argument last night :-( told him I didn't feel loved or desired, he said love had nothing to do with desire, I said if you love me you wouldn't make me feel unwanted blah blah. He said he's crap and useless and ruined my life and what's the point of him even being alive. Serious shit.

may here's a bit more PMA for you. it takes 3months to replace sperm so the 2nd sa probably wouldn't have been affected by the changes he made after the first. its OK to cry, and to need time to accept it. I think it is a type of grief we are dealing with because I've reached anger and keep getting utterly peeved at the unfairness of it all. hopefully I'll reach acceptance one day!

Laura mini AF? on what CD? blue didn't you have something similar before you're body sorted out getting ovulating? i can't quite remember but hoping its a good sign for you Laura

metal fx the gp does his/her job.

vic how u doing today?

Thanks Cooper. After the bad 1st result dh has tried all sorts. .. He gave up alcohol which was a big deal for him, started on wellman vits and even having tomato soup everyday.
Sadly 2nd result was even worse.

I can't quite come to terms with it though. I keep saying to myself that we cannot conceive in the hope it will sink in. At the moment I keep crying but at the same time am still planning when to dtd to align with ov. Ridiculous!

Lil - we all need some of that pma to rub of on the rest of us!

So sorry to see all the sad news over this weekend ladies...we're really all beating ourselves up about this aren't we. There must be a better way - someone please tell me when they find it...

I'm 99% sure I haven't ov'd this month and yet I've had another mini-period which I can't make head nor tail of?

DH has his sa on Wednesday so I may need all your advice on that soon, depending on the results. TBH it's only really just hitting me what it may mean if it's bad news.

Wishing you all a peaceful evening, try and be nice to yourselves x x

I haven't had any tests done yet cooper but will go back to my GP after this cycle and push for initial blood tests and whatever else they do as it'll have been six months of perfectly timed sex since the mc, and I will be 35 next month. Hopefully he will agree, if not we might go private.

Aww vic, hope you're having a better day today
It is a bit shit this long term ttc isn't it, I have days like that sometimes but after a couple of days and a talk with dh I'm sure you'll be feeling better.

Same to you may, we've not really had an in depth discussion about dh sa results as he doesn't seem to think there's much point in talking about it (men!) but he is taking the vits I've prescribed and following my healthy diet. Is there anything you can do that you're not yet? It seems men like an action plan type thing so if he has things he can do that night make him feel more positive?

Sorry about af blue :(

And sorry you're feeling rubbish too metal - sorry I can't keep everyone straight but are you having any treatment/under a gynae/doctor?

lil, I like your way of thinking, I just need to try and apply it to myself!

Sorry AF got you blueberry, it's always worse if you've got your hopes up for some reason or another.

I've been feeling pretty down today, probably because of my insomnia last night. I just can't shake the feeling that my mc and erpc in February has done some damage and now I won't be able to get pregnant again... this month is our last shot before I would have been due, and I don't think it's going to happen. Will probably get AF on my birthday as well.

blue don't give up on the exercise. you could be losing next to nothing because you're building muscle instead. I've got back on the wagon today. trying a combo of low GI and calorie counting. and have dug my pregnacare vits out of the drawer. will be keeping tabs on dh taking his vit c and making him healthy lunches to take to work. I have 10 weeks before I go on holiday to Ibiza so that's one incentive, but this is my pre ivf diet now. I've decided instead of living month to month I'm going to welcome the witch each time and live by a 5month plan. this is my 5months to get into the best place we can be for ivf. I'm currently the heaviest I've ever been so time to rake control back. ladies, I think I found my PMA!

woah yesterday was not a good day for any one!!

Including me AF turned up 2 days early after a week for feeling sick I was devastated I knew I shouldnt get my hopes up.

Vicky There is no way your DH thinks you are hideous some men just have low sex drives and now hes been told that his little men arent up to it thats a big thing for men to get over. Maybe treat him to a date night not ttc related extra and try to make him feel wanted.
I know its hard my dp goes through phases where he doesnt want any at all and it drives me mad and makes me feel like shit but I know deep down its not because of me.

Onto cycle 17 and im not really sure what to do with myself I cried a lot yesterday and told dp when we were going to step it up this month (fertile period is over his birthday aswell so gd timing).

Only 1 month till I go back to gynae and im having to step up my exercise im going to get up early everyday and exercise as well as cycle in the eves...Ive lost next to nothing grrrr

Bloody men! I too felt quite pissed off at DH last night, as yet again it was down to me to initiate things (can't remember the last time he made a move on me), and I just thought fuck it, I'm not ovulating yet and I really can't be arsed with this anymore. Probably a massive overreaction, but this whole ttc lark is really taking its toll. And now I'm awake in the middle of the night and can't go back to fucking sleep because I'm angry and annoyed with myself and him and the world in general...

and may give him time to process it. in a week or two maybe broach it with him. yhe needs to keep talking and not hiding from it. its a bit of a joke with us now, but I guess humour is our way of dealing with it.

oh girls. men are such odd creatures. I think I would have preferred it to have been me with issues rather than dh. at least then I could have felt more able to do something rather than being a nag. Vic you are not hideous. you need to talk to him calmly in a day or two and explain how this makes you feel. does ge drink a lit of caffiene? since dh cut down on it his druve has improved. i secretly switched his coffee to decaff! he now knows and has cut ut cimoketeky where possible. tell him you know there is probably"no point" but that it helps you to feel you are doing everything you can. I found explaining that helped get my dh back on board. I also try and reiterate regularly that "we" are infertile, not him. I don't want him to take on the blame, even though there are times I feel like its completely unfair that I'm going through this when there's nothing wrong with me. just remember, and perhaps remind him, for better for worse, in sickness and in health. you are a team, and the easiest way through this shit is by leaning on each other, not shutting each other out.

Oh vic. Going through this makes everything feel wrong but your dh loves you and is unfortunately just displaying how low he feels in all the wrong ways. Hate him tonight for being a tw*t but try and talk to him tomorrow about it.

Selfishness is the hardest thing to bear from the other halves isn't it? I want to wallow on self pity but have spent all week since hearing the 0 swimmers result making sure dh knows I still want him. However I'm not even sure he cares about the results. .. He's not mentioned them once!

Just wish we could have a child so we need never think about sex ever again if that makes him happier! What the F is wrong with me?! Am I too hideous to shag?!

Sorry rant over. I'm off to cry into my pillow!

Think I have ov pains tonight, dh won't have sex though, and wouldn't yesterday. Said there was no point. I said you never know there might be a rogue good one in there doubt it though as they never get renewed! I hate the lazy f%@#! sometimes I really do. Why is it always the woman doing everything possible when the man just doesn't care?! Its him that needs to wank or dtd frequently to improve his swimmers but he hates sex. Great, picked a good one didn't I?! FFS!

Oh and vic - I ov on day 20/21 most months!

Evening all, been trying to avoid thinking about ttc this weekend, had a few drinks with dh last night and think I succeeded in forgetting!
Af tailing off now so onto the next cycle (fingers crossed!)

Sorry not caught up with you all but hope you've all had lovely weekends :)

Hmmm I don't think I've ovulated this month.... Cd17 today and no sign of ewcm or my 3 day ov pains! Not that it matters as wouldnt have got fertilized anyway!

Hope youve all had a nice weekend x

will definitely be chasing the appointment.... the witch has arrived. onto cycle 19 then

Hi All.
Hope everyone's had a good week.

Cooper - sorry af got you. :-(

Blue - fx

Victoria - you must have worst nhs ever! But yes just day every other day and if you want to make it a more comfortable lie my friends consultant was happy with eod between days 10 and 20 and a bit less the test of the month.

Lil - Hope the appointment is quick and you can then get this show on the road!

We had a lovely week camping in exmoor although it was ruined a little by us having to drive all the way back home for a night so dh could attend an interview (which he's still not heard back from so probably not good news) and our telephone appt with gp. He is finally putting the referral in after my 3rd day 21 was still not good and dh 2nd sa was even worse. Instead of a count of only 1 million like last time there weren't even enough to count this time!

At least now we know why 2.5 years later we are still childless!

He's put the referral into urology as sa is so bad with a note about working with gynae because of my results. I just assumed there would be a fertility team that did both!

So now even though we know we will not conceive naturally I still can't get out of the habit of trying. I will ov Tuesday not that that helps at all.

Nope, no forms. They've mentioned the child welfare form, but from what I've seen online its only a couple of pages...are you a peado etc type stuff! They just asked questions and jotted down in my notes when we were there. We had to complete one to confirm eligibility for funding but that was just age, height, weight, whether we smoke, and confirming we don't have any kids. Maybe i'll end up with more forms when we go in to be told more about the icsi...if they ever send the frigging appointment!

Hi lil you had no forms at all? We have a medical history form and child welfare form each, a consent for various types of research, a personal identification form where we have to attach a photo! There are all sorts of questions about my cycle and if I get spots and do I get mucus mid-cycle!