Eggsellent Egg buddies! For those having ivf during April, May and June and any others still around :-)

Thanks for the welcome. It's so encouraging to see there are some BFPs here!
This is my first IVF so I've lots to learn.

res I'm a knicker checker too

One I hope you find some kind of peace with your decision. It's a tough choice you've had to make, but you have to do what's right for you. I also echo everything Cups said. Any kind of depression is a disease, a chemical imbalance. Your PND was in no way your fault. Hope your H finds his sympathy gland soon.

Cups well done on that haulage, a nice number. Take things easy and fingers crossed for ET!

Welcome gateaux

Congratulations res! That's super news!
Did you feel pregnant before you tested or not really?
I feel like I should be 'feeling' more pregnant if it has worked!

Congratulations res! That's super news!
Did you feel pregnant before you tested or not really?
I feel like I should be 'feeling' more pregnant if it has worked!

Congratulations res! That's super news!
Did you feel pregnant before you tested or not really?
I feel like I should be 'feeling' more pregnant if it has worked!

Just popping in to see how you are all doing? Hoping you have had some more BFPs? x

Hello gateaux. I'm monopolising today so it seems right that I should welcome you first!

Hello, can I join this thread? I'm on day 5 of down regulation. Already feeling a tad mental...

Oh Euro, that's going to be me!

I have knicker checked on every loo visit. For the past 25 weeks...

The fear has kicked in. Scared to go to the loo even though bladder bursting. Feels damp. Probably the pessaries, I know. In Dec, I got the BFP on 15th and started to bleed on 17th (hence holding out this time around until 18th as ET was on the same day in the calendar month). It was my gift for 2 days only and this time round I'm nearing the end of Day 1. Please, please don't let it all go wrong tomorrow (or at all).

Hey Euro. We lawyers are patient people .

res!!! I can't believe you held out so long. I'm so pleased for you.

I'm cheering the rest of you on from the sidelines. :)

Hey Winkle, thanks for dropping by! Early days but you've gotta be happy, eh?

How are you doing? You're due early August, yes? Not long to go!

Cups, 7 sounds great to me. At Care they say 6-13 is ideal so you're in their bracket - congrats! - and I wonder if the big haul last time adversely affected quality.

Fx for your call tomorrow and try not to stress (and I understand the irony there!). Yes, I'm the pot.

Res I'm so chuffed about your BFP, well done for testing xxx

One I've got a lots of things I want to say to you. You are definitely not worthless, I'm sure you contribute so much to your family regardless of finances. You have not let your DS down by having PND, it is a medical condition that you had no control over and you deserve to have another child as much as anyone does. I wish I could be more eloquent but I'm still drowsy from EC. Big unmumsnetty hugs.

I'm back home, I got 7 eggs. I'm keeping everything crossed they are mature and fertilise. I know 7 is a good number but I'm quite worried as I got 17 last time and only had 6 by day 1. I'm off for a well deserved snooze.

Just delurking to say congrats to Res! So chuffed for you mate x

Hanging - your DH isn't the most supportive, is he? I remember your last cycle. Does he realise how you feel? I suspect not cause if he did then he wouldn't be so bloody insensitive.

You sound so down that I wisj we could meet for a drink cause I know you'd be a good laugh if we could let this TTC business go for a while!

Sully dh is making me feel worse atm. He keeps going on about me being a "lady of leisure" and telling me how easy I have it.

It's not by choice! The only reason I didn't apply for stuff sooner was because I knew we would be having treatment and starting a new job didnt seem the best time to be asking for time off for Ivf appointments. I was scanned nearly every day last time and they keep a close eye on me because of the type 1 diabetes.

Now I've decided not to go ahead in June Im applying as much as a can and still carrying on volunterring which I've done since October anyway. Ds wasn't full time until after christmas either. But every time dh goes on about "what have you done all day?" "It's alright for some" etc etc it makes me feel that bit worse. I would like to run away and leave everything behind me at the moment.

I'm a primary teacher too but I'm not applying for teaching positions - mainly support ones.
I've also applied to a few other things that are completely random. Basically anything that kind of fits in with ds's school hours. I want to go back to work but I also don't want to miss out on ds whilst he's still small, especially as it will be just him.

Dh says I can't 'know' that it would never work, but I do. I don't exactly believe in woo type stuff but I do think you should trust your instincts. I was certain immediately after having ds , despite thankfully having no problems the first time round, that I wouldn't be able to have any more babies and with each new piece of information (crap sperm, crap eggs) it seems more and more like my feeling is right.

I think that's a lot of it with me Res - I want to try again because I feel like I missed out with ds and personally feel like I got it all wrong.

I hate that he won't have a sibling. I feel like I've failed him, again, after already failing him those first few months. I haven't had any counselling because I don't think it will help. I've just got to accept it is how it is I guess. I am lucky to have ds and I do know that. It's a double edged sword though because it means irl no one has any sympathy - you've already got one be grateful seems to be the mantra of everyone I know. Even through they all have at least two children themselves.

I'm worn out with thinking about it and mulling it over and the injustice of it all. I do need to try and move past it and hopefully if I find some work it will give me something else to concentrate on. At the moment I'm just a drain on my dh - not bringing in any money, ds at school most of the day, can't even have a baby. Basically I add nothing. So I need to do something so that I'm not so useless.

One - I don't like the sound of all that. Are you getting any help (of the conselling variety, not for housework)?

I'm sorry to read that you are not going to put yurself through another round and understand why but (i) I truly hope that you will be happy, for a long time and get to that state soon and (ii) you know it's rubbish that you are being punished for PND. I had it too and have to say that the propspect of enjoying the first two months' of A N Baby's life has been a driving force as I was a mess after DD was born. It was not your fault that you were unlucky with it, just like me.

Double argh!
My phone is having a breakdown! I thought there was a message id posted before the previous one but it's disappeared!

I had written that basically ive decided against another cycle. It won't work and it's a waste of £7k. I'm absolutely positive I won't ever be pregnant again. It feels like karma for having Pnd and really struggling when ds was born. I half think something will happen to ds. Someone for sure has decided I don't deserve any more children and I'm just trying to reconcile myself to that being it. I know I probably won't ever be properly happy but I guess that's just how it is.

I'm looking for a job instead but aiming low and applying for everything as after stopping at home for 4 years I am probably basically unemployable. I've been volunteering three days a week but it seems to count for nothing in the real working world.
Not great, infertile and unemployable. I do lie awake at night thinking how lovely it would be to not wake up in the morning. Sigh.

Off now to go and clean my house - my kitchen in particular is not in a good way!

Argh!

I will probably carry on lurking and willing you all on. God knows if anyone deserves success it's the women on this thread!

Xxx