Requesting referral to a fertility clinic

I saw the counsellor at the Clinic yesterday - this was a mandatory thing both because I'm going to be receiving donor sperm, and because I am going to be donating eggs.

It was a really good session - we went over some things that I haven't spoken about with the few friends/family who know what my plans are; not because I didn't want to speak about them, but because they just haven't come up. Things like how I would feel if my IVF failed but the woman receiving my donor eggs succeeded. Also talked about telling my potential child about its genetic history - I've thought about this at length and I actually have it fairly sorted; my baby will grow up without my having a male partner, so it's always been my plan to be open with baby from day one; a generous man gave mummy something she needed to make you. No talk of 'daddy', just talk of a beneficial stranger.

Also; this was my first visit tot he Clinic, as everything previous has been at the Consultant's local office, or with my GP/local cottage hospital, so it was good to find the place and work out how long it takes to get there (and to try to avoid leaving in a rainy rush hour again; that wasn't fun!)

So yeah - all that happened. I now have to take a week to think things through and decide whether I want to go ahead. This is HFEA mandated, to make sure I'm aware of the facts and am able to get out before things really get going. I can't see my mind changing, but it's nice to have things in my control, as I know the tests and procedures will mean things only get busier once I start all this, so this week feels like a nice point to catch my breath and re-read all the literature.

In weightloss news my BMI has gone from 35ish to 33.8. I need to be down to 30, so am going in the right direction; have had a couple of lapses in my reduced calorie eatings, but nothing too catastrophic - I'm happy with this progress, and am hoping next weekend's weigh in shows a steady, healthy loss.

I'm not sure if anyone's reading this, but it helps a lot to document things, and I figure someone somewhere one day might be thinking about treading this path and be interested in my experience.

Finally spoke to the Egg Donor lady at the Clinic and she's confirmed that my BMI is too high. I can continue to go through the prep stuff; the counselling, the picking and ordering of sperm etc, but I can't go ahead with the actual procedure until I'm under a set BMI.

So I have a little over 2 stone to lose.

It's doable; I'm planning on doing a solid two months of slim fast, combined with upping the dog walks (and occasionally attempting a dog jog)

Am feeling a bit low this evening; super pissed at myself for allowing this to happen, and more irritated that the disappointment is making me want to go into the kitchen and nom all the foods. I've staved off the need to binge by scoffing some raspberries - better that than junk food.

So yeah; a diet of shakes and meal bars, and an attempt at doing more exercise until I get down to a better weight, and then the trial of maintaining that weight. This is not my favourite step on this journey. I get why it's a necessity, it's just a little disappointing.

Yeah... they closed at 5. Yay(!)

Mini update - have received a mountain of forms from the Clinic, some for the IVF and some for the egg donation. I've also got an appointment for the counselling, so it's all continuing to move.

Had a little panic today; I sent my form for the egg donating back to the clinic and had to put my height, weight and BMI (it's not a good BMI) and have since missed two calls from the egg donation department, and twice tried to call them with no response. My head has leapt to the conclusion that my BMI is too high for egg donation. Hopefully this is not the case. It's something I really want to do, and now is the perfect time as it'll mean my IVF treatment is lower. My rational brain knows it's not the end of the world if I can't donate now (although my fiscal brain will wince at the massive increase in cost) and it's not the last chance to donate, although it is definitely the easiest time as the'll be going in there anyway... But yeah, my emotional mind has latched on to this idea of potentially being rejected and I'm sat in the office feeling a wee bit miserable at something which hasn't actually happened!!! And this is my emotional state pre-treatment; it does not bode well.

Yeah, so, um, just needed to vent. Will try calling the clinic again in a sec; am hoping they don't close at 5.

Update

Blood tests done, and I've returned to my consultant to give the go ahead to start IVF with egg sharing. He (or, rather, his secretary) is passing all my details to the fertility unit to go ahead and start things going, so I'm waiting for them to get in touch. In the meantime I've had to pop in and out of the GP's first to get a copy of some of my bloodtest results to pass them on, and now I've been tasked with getting a rubella test - I'm not sure whether it's to confirm I've not got it, or to confirm I've got immunity from the MMR jabs I had when I was little. Will ask for both; better to have too much info than too little!

So there it is; almost ready to go. Next step is counselling and then picking out my donor. Then it's on to the actual IVF cycle.

My consultant was lovely and said he can't see any issues, and I should hopefully be looking for my BFP in September/October. It seems a world away, but that's actually only 3-4 months!

Another update as things progress;

I had my first meeting with the Consultant. We went through options - IUI, IVF and IVF with egg sharing, and it's Option C I'm going for. He did an ultrasound scan and has images of my ovaries and uterus, because they're oh so photogenic! I need a couple more blood tests, so he's going to write to my GP to recommend them. I could get them done privately but at £300 a pop it's easier on the ol' bank balance to stick with the NHS. The tests he's requested are HIV and Hepatitis, as I had all the other, pertinent tests.

The egg sharing will save a lot of money; and it only means a reshuffle of my plans; I was originally planning on having a baby and then donating eggs, this way means I get to do it all at once, which is all round easier!

I've been given some info on the IVF process, but I already knew most of it from Dr Internet, so it's no big shock; injections a-plenty and much hormonal management, and basically been advised to have a think about it. We'll arrange another appointment for about 2 weeks' time, after which I'll give the go ahead and we'll start moving forward. First step in my IVF journey will be counselling which is mandatory as I'll be both receiving donated sperm and donating eggs, and so they have to be happy that I understand the full ramifications of that.

In the meantime it's another blood test, and a general enjoying of the sunny weather. Plus I need to pick up some more Metformin for the PCOS as I'm to continue taking that throughout the treatment.

Update - for my own records, and anyone about to start down this path.

So, I went to the GP yesterday and asked to be referred. He only asked a couple of questions and was generally quite happy to refer me to the consultant I requested. He ordered a fresh set of blood tests to be done just to stop the clinic from sending me back to him for them (as has apparently happened before). These were the day 2-5 blood tests. Luckily (although the pain in my womb disagrees with the term) I'm on day 3 today, so I nipped in to the local-ish cottage hospital this morning to have two vials of blood taken. I've written down the names of the tests at home, so will update with them later, but the key ones were the follicle stimulating hormone (FSH), Luteinising hormone, testosterone and prolactin. It seems to be the same set of bloods they looked at when they were diagnosing the PCOS.

So yeah - next step is to call the clinic and book an initial consultation with the consultant to see if he thinks IVF is the right course (which he most likely will as he's an expert on IVF in PCOS patients) and to find out how much this will cost.

Thanks naty - the idea of waiting months sounds awful, but I guess they've got other patients, and that's just how these things work. It took about three months to diagnose my PCOS and that was just a couple of blood tests and an ultrasound.

Thanks to the PCOS and a fairly sedentary lifestyle (bloomin' office job combined with general laziness) I definitely do need to work on my weight, so perhaps can do that to help the weeks go by. Long walks and a better diet may be the answer.

Thanks Buggerlugs

I'm expecting it all to be rather expensive - I'd assumed I'm not eligible. I definitely want to donate my eggs, so will be enquiring about any egg-sharing schemes they run as that might help bring the cost down. I'll still donate my eggs (if able) if the clinic don't do the egg-sharing thing, but it would be nice if the cost was subsidised.