Requesting referral to a fertility clinic

Thanks for the lovely comments, Salad - I'll definitely keep updating, if only because it's an easy place o keep a sort of diary of what's going on.

Waiting - I don't know yet what my doses will be. I just know that they're going to put me on the lowest dose, and they're going to schedule in an extra scan during stimulation just so they can keep an eye on things. I'll post an update once I've got my schedule to let you know what my meds are. Good luck to you for April, I definitely get the anxious thing. I'll be sticking around here, so do pop in for a chat any time you need one.

Last bloods came back without any issues, and I have been matched with a recipient, so will be sharing my eggs 50:50 with her. It would be too tight to try to turn it all round for this cycle, so I'm waiting until the end of the month, when AF is due, and I can then ring them up and get sorted out for all the drugs and the timetable etc.

All going well, I'm looking at egg collection at, roughly, the end of May; about 13 months after starting this thread.

Well, it's all getting very real.

I went back to the clinic yesterday and signed another forest's worth of forms; this time covering all the egg-donation side of things. They'd got the results for almost all of my blood tests; just a couple more to come, and then they'll look at when to book me in to get this thing going.

At the moment timings look like I'll either start down-regging in 2 weeks or, more likely, in 7-8 weeks. My cycle seems to have got itself comfortable at about 39-40 days, which is in many ways good as I have longer between periods, but when waiting to start IVF it's suddenly really annoying!

But yes, it's all about to kick off, I'm just waiting on dates. I've got a sniffer of Synarel ready to start either day 21 of this cycle or the next. Somehow actually having the first of the drugs has made it seem real. I'm about equal parts excited and terrified!

My AMH is high, and with the high follicle count in the last scan, they'll put me on the lowest dosage of drugs so as to keep risks of OHSS nice and low.

Definitely feel like things are moving now.

Yesterday's scan went well. I was most anxious about the roads and getting there on time (it's an hour's drive on notoriously bad roads) so I got there 20 minutes early and they were running about 10-15 minutes behind, so there was extra waiting!

Then my full bladder (an anxiety thing - I can usually pee like a trooper, but get me stressed and it doesn't want to leave!) and slightly hidden right ovary made the scan trickier than it needed to be, but we got there. I have 20 follicles in my left ovary and 12 in the right, which is a good sign that although covered in cysts, they're doing their job.

They took some blood too, so they'll get all the necessary tests done over the next 4 weeks before I go back to go through my second planning meeting.

The Donor Coordinator, who I had my scan with, mentioned that they do have an unusually high number of donors at the moment, but she's hopeful she should be able to match me up with a recipient in the next month so after my next appointment we might actually be ready to go!

Am trying very hard not to get my hopes up, and to be realistic that the success rate is around 50%, and I'm doing everything I can to make this work, but sometimes it just doesn't. Pragmatic thinking all the way.

Well my e-mail seemed to work; I'm booked in for a scan and blood-taking on Monday - massively last minute, but luckily my boss is ok with my suddenly taking a day off. Don't want to make a habit of it though, esp as we're low on staff, so it's a bit noticable when people are suddenly taking random days off.

Will then have a follow up appointment at the end of Feb to go through the egg donation side of things.

Just need to remember not to come to work on Monday, and work out something fun to do with my afternoon off.

Oh no, Tinker that's not good. Good that they've raised it again for you, but a shame you've lost the time.

I'm not sure when my consultant gets back involved with things - everything seems to be sorted out with the nurse and the egg co-ordinator at the moment. I do still have his secretary's details, so that's definitely a good call. I hadn't even considered going to them. Thanks for the advice!

Thanks for setting my mind at ease. Being forgotten about is something fixable. Better that than just generally being delayed and terrible at communication. I'll give them a day or two to reply to my e-mail, and if they don't I can call them on Friday (as am off work that day and it's awkward finding private places to make calls when I'm in the office)

I feel very much at the mercy of the clinic. I've done all the research I can, and yet I'm still waiting on their every word because I've never done this before. Who has?! They have been really good the times I've seen them. I just don't like the loss of control. Hopefully if egg donors are in such short supply then once they're back on the ball they can sort things out for me and some other lady/couple can get their chance too.

One of the pregnant family members I mentioned is my best friend and the person I would usually be sounding off to about how unfair it all seems, and how it's totally my turn next, but as she's just discovered she's pg with her 3rd, I'm going to have to rein in my whinging. It's totally my turn next in my circle of people - no one else gets to cut the queue!

I don't know if this is typical of fertility treatment as a whole, or whether I'm a particularly unlucky one, but I've heard nothing from my clinic since the end of October. I was in on the 29th to sign all the forms and go through the process, it was bad timing cycle-wise, so the nurse was going to call me the following week to organise coming back in for a scan and blood tests. Only that never happened.

Then I got distracted with the sperm ordering, and then Christmas happened. All the while still no contact re: scan/bloods. I don't have the nurse's contact details, or really any one person I can contact about my treatment. I've finally plucked up the courage to 'be a bother' and have e-mailed the main info line of the clinic in the hope that they can direct it to the right people.

It's frustrating because I know that a lot of this hinges on there being someone out there who wants my eggs, and nothing will happen until a recipient is found, so the sensible part of my thoughts is pointing out that it will never be a quick and easy process, but I have no idea whether they've even started looking for that recipient.

In the mean time I've been looking at the timelines. If, and this is unlikely, we got everything going in time for my next cycle, I would be looking at egg collection just a couple of days after my 30th birthday. I know it's just a number, and 30's young and all those things, but it's another landmark to pass with no progress.

I'm mostly venting my stress now, just because I don't like the waiting and the not knowing if anything is happening. I have two family members who have announced their pregnancies in the last few months, as well as seemingly countless people on that awful facebook who are either expecting or have recently had their babies, and I'm genuinely happy for them, but each one just makes me that little bit sadder that it's not happened for me. I know it was my choice (if choice is the right word) to go it alone, and that I'm lucky to only have the PCOS on my list of medical maladies. I just wish it could be easier.

Oh gosh, I don't think 'strong' is the word, though I thank you very much for being so kind.

This so far has been the easy bit; I'm careening forward on determination (also known as stubbornness) and a healthy lump of denial as to how hard it's all going to be! It'll all change once I'm matched up and things start. That's when it's going to get terrifying.

I'm not really on my own. I have my mum at hand for support, and can call on my best friend for pretty much anything. Plus for any questions or midnight panics there's always Mumsnet, right?!

Knew this surreal day was coming but...

Today I'm buying sperm on the internet. Danish sperm, no less.

At first was pleasantly surprised at how little it cost... Then got the secret bonus amount invoice which covers stuff relating to UK laws on 10 families per donor, which bumped it up to just over what I had expected to have to pay. But yeah, that's going to be all sorted once I've paid the second amount.

Just in time as well; I exchanged contracts on my house this morning and will get the keys on Friday. This is good; it means between sorting out the new house, moving, and Christmas I'll be nicely distracted and not waiting for a call from the clinic to tell me they've found me a recipient. (Surely there must be someone out there who wants my eggs!)

Kitten nursery sounds fab! I've got my heart set on there being a book nook or 'library' somewhere in the new place, even if it's just a corner with bookshelves and a beanbag!

Really sorry to hear things haven't worked for you yet, but congrats on the house and the kitten! Hopefully the change of location might prompt some better luck for you.

I've been living at my mother's for the past 3 months after selling my old place, and should hopefully complete on the new in the next fortnight. The hardest bit will be holding off on designating a room to be the nursery until there's actually reason to do that.

Hey juney how are things with you?

After what seems like forever, things are finally moving.

The long delay was basically me losing weight. I'm now down to a BMI of 30, and am continuing to work on getting it lower (under 25 is the longterm target but that goes on hold once I start the IVF) but am at last able to get on with things.

I went to see one of the clinic nurses yesterday to talk through the process and to sign a large number of forms. Seriously - I'm buying a house at the moment and didn't have to sign half as many forms for that!!!

Anyhoo - I need to go back for a scan and another blood test (hepatitis and hiv results only last 6 months and i started all this about 5 months ago so they'll need to get that done again) - could have had the scan yesterday but due to house/nurse/work stress and my defective ovaries, I'm over a week late for my period, so she wouldn't have got a good look at my womb lining. Any tips on encouraging my late period to arrive?

Next up will be the choosing of the sperm - my clinic don't have any in stock because there is this massive shortage of UK sperm, so they've suggested I take a look at the European Sperm Bank. Window-shopping for sperm is a new level of weird, especially given the vast level of details they give you (if you pay for it) luckily not all of them can be shipped to the UK so that's narrowed down my choice.

Once I've sorted my sperm and got the scans/blood tests done then the only thing left is to wait to be matched up to an egg recipient. They can't start my downregging and everything until there's someone lined up to receive half of the eggs, so it's probably going to be a case of waiting a little while longer.

Hi Cherry, thanks for commenting.

My BMI is down to 32.4, and I've lost 1 of the 2 stone I need to lose, so things are definitely progressing, if not as quickly as I would like. I know there's no safe way to rapidly shed the pounds, and this (calorie-counting) is working at a healthy rate, I just wish it wasn't taking so long. Another month (at least) before I can start all the tests etc for being an egg donor, and then getting on with the IVF.