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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

To go for number 2

31 replies

Stars66 · 22/04/2014 16:30

My bf is desperate to have baby no 2, our dd is 20 months and I love her with all the world. I can't decide if I'm ready for no 2 yet, as totally remember the tiredness etc. However, it took me a year to conceive her which included a miscarriage at 12 weeks, which broke my heart and made me totally shitless of ever loosing another baby and at that point even just being pregnant
Now 3 of our NCT group are preggers, bf is 43 so not getting any younger but am I ready?!!!

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Original poster
Stars66 · 28/04/2014 21:46

That's the thing isn't it, what age gap. I definitely think I am ready now, I saw a brand new buba at the wknd, the mum said it's massively difficult but you learn eh?! And my daughter sleeps through jinxes the rest of year
And I guess taking into consideration that it could take another year, I'd better start looking for this knicker snot! Smile

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naty1 · 28/04/2014 09:24

female fertility does decline with age (due to more dna errors in older women, 50% young womens eggs have dna errors, which gets higher as you age. Hence higher Downs chances as you get older)
Yes i did have ivf for other reasons, but i suppose what i mean is if you do have problems and end up having to have something like ivf better to do that sooner than later as the success rates are higher
It seems to go both ways people who struggled with first get pg easily with no 2 and others have secondary infertility. Bizzarely some people seem to get pg first month and then ttc#2 find OH suddenly has almost no sperm or really bad quality in just a couple of years.
I guess it just depends on the gap you want between

nickelbabe · 27/04/2014 20:09

things I learned from the "just shagging" club....
pant snot is your friend. when you see pant snot, get shagging! (it happens around ovulation)
orgasms help the sperm reach the egg - apparently the waves push the sperms up to the right place.
and shagging capes are good. (that last one is a joke)

nickelbabe · 27/04/2014 20:06

I think your ivf is more likely to be attributed to other factors.
35 is no longer considered to be "older mum"
I got pregnant at 35 on the 3rd month of trying, and even then we didn't have sex loads

Original poster
Stars66 · 27/04/2014 10:12

I'm 33 so OH got lucky! so am fairly sure time is on my side, just different people you speak to say no 2 is harder to conceive etc. As PP said, fertility is a guessing game.
I also DTD on fertile dates this month, so kind of trying without trying. I wouldn't be upset to have another one, and kind of think, in for a penny, in for a pound ehWink!!!

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naty1 · 26/04/2014 23:20

Thing is they change so much in 9 months. 9 months ago , at 13m i wouldnt have wanted one immediately but wouldnt mind having a newborn now. And now DC 2 wouldnt be born until DD is nearly 3 which now seems like a big gap.
How old are you?
Fertilty declines from 35 or so . Which is why we are doing ivf now while im still (just about 34)

violetlights · 26/04/2014 21:42

I'm pregnant with my second, and my first is 18 months. I am finding him really hard work at the moment, especially as he usually get up at 5am (after falling alseep at 8pm). Buuuuuut...I knew I wanted another one, so thought why wait? In for a penny in for a pound... Confused Tbh though, I don't know if I'm 'ready' but I wasn't really with the first one either!! Just trusting to fate it'll all be alright by the time they're 20 Good luck whatever you decide. :)

nickelbabe · 26/04/2014 21:36

I'm sure it will be.
it's the overthinking that's the problem here.

whatever happens will be the right answer.

nickelbabe · 26/04/2014 21:35

yes. I'm

Original poster
Stars66 · 26/04/2014 21:26

Well I hope it's the answer that you want!!!Wink

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nickelbabe · 26/04/2014 20:37

not sure! Grin

Original poster
Stars66 · 26/04/2014 10:10

Worried or happy?!Shock

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nickelbabe · 25/04/2014 22:41

I was due an advent baby but she was 16 days late. born 12th december in the end. really good so farxas we don't have to buy her presents !

I'm getting worried today as I feel ab
bit sick and.bloated...

Original poster
Stars66 · 25/04/2014 17:52

I've heard stories where no 2 and 3 have popped out with a sneeze before getting to the hospital, but after going through labour, I just can't believe it!!
Btw - I told oh that I don't want an Xmas baby as a good reason to hold off for a little while, but after he asked me how long pregnancy was (???!) he said well if we start now, it'll be a jan baby. My argument was lostShock

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nickelbabe · 25/04/2014 17:33

you don't sound convinced Grin

Original poster
Stars66 · 24/04/2014 13:06

Nickel - "slipped out"!??!?! Hummm yes I hope that happens too!!!Smile

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nickelbabe · 23/04/2014 21:51

thank you :)

I know a lot of people who have said number 2 just slipped out in comparison Grin

Original poster
Stars66 · 23/04/2014 10:19

That's so true about the free nursery hours when dd hits 3, then we can have the time to go to said tiny baby only groups Smile

And please don't stress about the birth, as purple said you might have a very different experience, I certainly wouldn't let that put you off going for no 2. I'm not worried about the birth, I had a lovely relaxing water birth and felt very lucky that it was a nice experience, so will keep fingers crossed your next one will be like mine was! X

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PurpleWithaMysteryBun · 22/04/2014 22:50

Good luck Nickel giving birth is daunting, however there is nothing to say it will be the same second time :)

PurpleWithaMysteryBun · 22/04/2014 22:49

Oh and a lot of groups are just for babies so you cant take a toddler as well :)

PurpleWithaMysteryBun · 22/04/2014 22:48

Stars baby classes and groups unfortunately are restricted for no.2. Unless you wait until oldest is at nursery, benefit of this age being they are better amusing themselves at soft play.etc
There is not the same luxury of time and napping as there is with DC1. I had a 2yr 10m gap with first two and it was lovely having some time with new baby while DD was at nursery and I benefited a lot from her being older and more independent.

nickelbabe · 22/04/2014 22:19

I'm having the same problem now (dd is 28mo)

if it took a year to get dc1, then it might take as long again,.or it might be qyicker.

our dd only took.3 months so that's a panic too.

I.really want another, but don't know if I want to give birth again Shock
I had a really hard time.

but I want to do the baby thing again.

dh and I had unprotected sex last night. letting fate do its thing.

oh, and dh is 52 (was 50 when dd was born)

Original poster
Stars66 · 22/04/2014 22:16

Just thinking how there will be none of that going for coffee and cake and sitting and chatting with boobs out cuddling baby, with no 2, it'll be chasing dd around soft play or park with boobs out Shock
And will there be time for baby massage, and the expensive classes I took her too?

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Original poster
Stars66 · 22/04/2014 22:13

Yep I can certainly see how 2 play together.. In time anyway! We just got a kitten and that is teaching my dd that she's not the only small thing in the house, and for her to be nice and gentle so that's a good startGrin

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PurpleWithaMysteryBun · 22/04/2014 21:58

I have really loved having two! Found one harder as they need all of your attention all the time. Also already used to not sleeping with no.2 and less worries as you have more experience, less of a steep learning curve :)