TTC After MC: The home of hopeful nipples, ovulation eyes and the most determined Mummawannabees around. Chin up, tits out!

Sebs, I totally get how ivf seems like a silver bullet but may I suggest you try prof Quenby's clinic first? They will analyse the lining of your uterus and put an appropriate plan in place. I asked her about getting my egg reserve tested and she said that she strongly advised against that test on the grounds that it causes so much psychological damage that its counterproductive. She says she wishes no one would ever get it done and she's never seen a patient made happier by knowing the results. I'm on my phone but I'll try to post a link to her clinic later, but if you Google her clinic (Coventry) or Quenby or her colleague Jan Brosens there are some interesting articles, especially one by Brosens about their research. Hope this helps you to decide what to do.

Carly I do hope you are still going to get plenty of TITH. How fantastic you got your peak!!! I have the sort of relationship with my Mum where I would just be blunt and say I was fertile and needed to DTD, she'd bugger off shopping for a bit.

English - fuck. I can feel your frustration in your post. I don't know what to say. Are you temping as well just incase the cbfm is missing your peak? How long are your cycles usually?

Girls your thoughts please. So I am moving towards IVF in my thinking. I am close to a very good clinic with fantastic live birth stats, however even though I have the money for a couple of rounds, that really would wipe out a big chunk of my savings. I am also aware that I could still be pretty fertile even though I shall be 40 in February. Would any of you choose to have the fertility testing done first where they measure your egg reserve? It makes sense to me to see how fertile I am before I start investigating IVF, on the other hand I'm worried that if the result is low I will be devastated

so bloody frustrated!! On cd16 and still getting lows on my cbfm! I'm cursed!! Beginning to wonder if i have pcos, but don't have any of the typical symptoms excepts these now irregular periods! 1 month til i'm home and can badger the dr!!

Well how's this for my bad luck continuing?! Have spent all month stressing about no peak on the cbfm. Finally, today after no warning what so ever I get a peak....and my parents are staying until Monday!! Sod's law!

Hope everyone is feeling a bit brighter today :) hugs for those who need them xxx

Seasides - I went to an early scan with a friend of mine and she had an empty sac at 8 weeks and then the following week a strong heartbeat.

Well I made it through one baby shower and the endless when are you having another one questions. Two more to go! Trying to be positive this month. Am eating as healthy as I can as I find that makes a huge difference to my mood. My DH is away working this weekend so it's a quiet Easter for us. Hope everyone has a lovely weekend

Jones, are you ok? So sorry, hope you got some help today. What a sad time.

AHH, thank you-reassuring to hear you had the same thing. Not getting my hopes up, but would just be the most wonderful thing to get good news on Thurs.

Have a lovely night holly! Sounds so romantic. Glad you're getting your tests done, hope you DD isn't feeling too ropey.

Hi all. Been lurking for a bit as I had all sorts of problems resetting my password then DD has had chicken pox which has kept me occupied!

Brilliant news penguin thanks for letting us know. It is lovely to heard good news.
seasides sorry your scan didn't give you the reassurance you needed. It is still early so fingers crossed.
Sorry you are going through it sebs Apologies if you have already said but why won't you GP do any tests?
Welcome to any newbies. It is a crap road that brings us all here but we try and make the best of it.

Was my edd during the week and it wasn't as awful as I anticipated. I will be joining the year TTC club in June too. I have had my day 1 and 21 test done in preparation for referral to fertility clinic. All satisfactory (whatever that means) so far. DH has done his SA but hasn't got results yet (because I forgot to nag him to phone for then. He is hopeless) CD21 and I have just had a positive OPK. Well at least I think it was positive. Both lines were the same darkness but neither were particularly dark?!!?!? I will try another one llater see what that does.

Busy weekend for me. I am out for food/drinks tomorrow for a friends birthday. SILs on Sunday for lunch then dropping DD at DM for a sleepover while DH and I gave a night away for our wedding anniversary. DH is out at the moment so I am going to phone the hotel and book the turndown service complete with chocolates, rose petals and champers.

Seasides fingers firmly crossed for you. I had an early scan with my DD at 5 weeks which showed an empty sac.

Welcome GandT and Florence hope you have short and happy stays here, sorry for your losses. Jones hope you are ok

Thanks for the story LittleMiss I think it is right to be hopeful, I am also reaching 1 year since trying for #2 and it seems like absolutely ages, but actually it really isn't that long is it.

Nothing much happening here, just waiting for the BFN (did a FRER a couple of days ago and just got a v faint line, so hopefully not too long now).

Happy Easter to everyone

Lots of us reaching the 1 year club. This is my last cycle before i reach that horrible milestone.
Hope we have a turn of luck here and all suddenly produce big fat sticky beans! BFS(sticky)P all round please Easter bunny, sod the chocolate eggs!

Sorry you're back here Jones, sending you a massive hug. I can't offer any further advice other than try to get to an epu near you.

Sorry that there are some of you feeling low at the moment! Hope you're feeling a bit better today.

I had friends/old work colleagues round last night and told them about my MC there was 7 of us and 3 had had one or more MCs they are all 12/15 yrs older than me but each one of them had been trying for different lengths of time to have children over the yrs but it gave me hope that all of them now had 2 or more chn each they all had a story to tell but had all had the chn they wanted and I just thought it gave me hope that it will turn out how I'd like it just may take time I hope it gives some of you some hope today x

Hope you all enjoy your Easter I'm going to eat lots surround myself with family & friends and enjoy myself!

Thanks girls. I'm ok today. AF due but no sign of her yet. Am now thinking if she is late that's a change in my LP which is unusual. I know when I ovulated as I had the opk and FF confirm it using bbt. I guess a longer LP is a good thing though. Fuck knows at this stage.

Metal I am so so sorry for your bfn . Remember you're not out till AF arrives but I understand the sad feeling very well.

Jones I am so sorry darling

We are taking my son out today to a local farm and soft play. Both OH and I still have this stomach virus. Mine has improved but I still have this low level stomach ache and nausea. It's weird as neither of us have had sickness and diarrhoea and yet we both feel slightly sick and have stomach aches. Has anyone else had it? I don't know if it's viral or food poisoning of something.

metal sorry about the bfn. You have a good plan though to get over it. Enjoy your weekend with a glass of tipple.

jones only know too well what you may be going through. Have had 2mcs in a row and never thought it would happen to me. St George in tooting also had EPU on Saturdays am. So you can try there if local to you.

sebs hope you are feeling better. I have gone through similar periods of thinking we will never have no.2 but the success stories of some ladies here keeps me going. I echo what others say about relaxing. I fell pg the month I was getting my investigations done as I had a plan and knew things were going somewhere. For me I have decided to throw everything at trying to have a second child. I am 13 months now TTC so over the 1 year hump. Getting all imaginable tests done from our holiday(s) kitty, as I really want to give it my best shot and get any treatment I may need.

Taking a break may help you relax and hopefully you can restart in zest or better yet get upduffed during that time.

Wishing everyone a lovely Easter. We are setting off on our holiday, hope traffic doesn't turn out to be too horrible !

Jones hope you have someone in RL to look after you. Uch (Euston, London) have a walk in EPU which is probably doing a weekend service (so attend via a&e) if you can get there. Good luck.
Metal sorry for the bfn. for you this weekend.
Sebs, TTC is so pressured which probably in itself inhibits conception. Maybe take some time off and reevaluate? When we took a month off to go and see Prof Quenby I really noticed the relief of not suffering the 2ww that month. And going to that clinic and getting a plan has made such a huge difference to my mental state. Take time out, relax, enjoy spending time with your family. Its a personal thing but maybe keeping your in laws in the loop will at least stop the stupid questions... I'm 'out and proud' with people, and I find it much easier that way. Maybe consider going to see prof Q in a few months. They really are the cutting edge of research and well worth it in my eyes. Take care and be kind to yourself.
Enjoy the long weekend ladies.

I'm so sorry jones, I hope you've got someone there to support you. [hugs]

Sebs I know how you're feeling, it's another BFN for me this morning so I'm out as AF is due tomorrow. Looks like all the cramping over the last week was just my body being extra cruel again and adding insult to injury... I'm so fed up with it all, it'll be a year for me too in July which I know is not that long, but I'm not sure how long I can carry on like this. I am such a control freak I think the constant uncertainty might just push me over edge, especially since I have a history of panic attacks and depression.

Will have a nice big glass of or three this evening and maybe tomorrow will look a bit better.

So so sorry jones as penguin said I'd contact your epu direct or if you have in luck and are in pain then head to a&e x

Jones I'm so sorry you're going through this. Given that your Dr is closed I would be inclined to call your local EPU and explain this and they should be able to advise even if they're one of the units that don't allow self-referral. Keeping everything crossed for you. Big hugs coming your way.

I'm sorry I snuck a BFP in last week, but stupidly I dared to dream and hope it would be okay and surely I wouldn't have a 2nd MC, but it wasn't to be. Bleeding and cramping began this morning. Not really sure what to do, doctors are closed so won't get a referral to EPU, don't really know where to turn x

That's true sebs - it's been 19 months since I started TTC now, with 16 months between BFPs. And, as it seems likely this isn't another ectopic, there's no reason for that (minus one tube of course, but medical opinion is split as to how much that affects things). On the other hand, stress does affect conception, so there is an argument for taking it easy and just seeing what happens. However you're happiest, that's the important thing.

My DH does exactly that english - when we finally did talk about it he says it's because he feels like I'm always negative about it and he's trying to be positive, and that he gets tired feeling like he has to be positive for both of us. Maybe yours is the same?

Sorry there's a lot of you feeling so down today, hugs all round.

Sebs, i think it takes a strong person to be able to admit defeat. But like Cake said you're still within year, it's still very possible for you. Maybe taking a break from it will give you your happy ending. Same to you Cake.

My dh finds it hard to communicate too. If i'm having a down day, he simply says 'Oh don't get all depressed again', which inevitably starts a row. I'm far from depressed, thats a big statement but sometimes i just want him to say that yes, this is shit!! I never thought i'd be the one in this position, struggling to do the one things as woman we're designed to do.
I've also told people about the mc. It does shut people up, but also it makes me mad that it is taboo. It happens often, if more people talked about it we wouldn't feel quite so inadequate.

I've just completed a Zumba class with tears in my eyes every 10 minutes. I am such an emotional wreck it's embarrassing. Hand holding for everyone today xx

Sorry to see so much sad news on here today :( this is such an emotional thing to go through it's a wonder anyone copes really. Sorry to see so many new ladies as well, as always may your stay here be a short one :)

I'm starting to get the nudging and winking about trying for number two, just about managing to hold it together but it is upsetting. The thing is I want to be able to discuss my mc openly but without turning into a blubbering wreck and I'm not quite there yet.
I really hope to be able to soon and think that I will be in the right place for me to discuss it later in the year but it is a difficult one as people have their own problems, seems to be a lot if stress about in my part of the world for everyone at the minute.

But for an injection of positivity..... Summer is round the corner, and I know I have many things to be grateful for including good health and good friends so today I'm popping to the shop in my lunch break, I'm buying myself an Easter egg and some beer for tonight. Diet? What diet? anyone want to join me?

Thanks so much all-the sore boobs are back today, so that's a bit reassuring. Bit of a sore back too but so symptoms other than that. Been debating whether to ask for 2nd bloods, but think I'd rather wait until next week when I can get a clear yes or no. Plus I get to be pg for a little bit longer this way...which is a silly way to think, I know.

Big decisions from people-sounds really healthy that you and your dh have talked it through carly, mine finds communicating hard too, it's great when they start to say how they really feel. Men are from mars and all that. sebs, I'm sorry you feel it won't happen, though you sound really strong about it. I know it feels like forever, but a year is within the time frame for docs even starting to run tests etc. It's always good to tell people not to ask personal questions etc though, and temper expectations, it's your body and your emotions and you do with them what you feel comfortable.

I do tell people too carly- I hate this idea that we're supposed to suffer in silence with it when it's so common. I told my sister yday, I feel bad though as she is as sad and worried for me as I thought she'd be, and sheu having a hard time too just now. I'm glad it's out I'm the open but I don't want to make her feel worse.

Sorry for all the new faces, I am so sad for your losses. It's just awful. I hope you're all as ok as you can be.

Welcome Ellis and sorry you find yourself here.

Bessie sorry you feel low, it's so bloody miserable some days , hand holding here.

Sebs you've been through the mill completely so putting away all the ttc stuff will definitely be a good thing for a while, as you say just time to concentrate on other things as much as possible and give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself, it's been such a shite road for you, you deserve a break.

As for questions about number 2, I've just started telling people I've had an mc, it is great for shutting up all the questions and just makes people stop and think a bit. I've been pleasantly surprised by the reactions of most people and it's also revealed a whole load of people who have been through it but have never said, it's almost like a taboo. So I'm breaking that particular taboo and just saying it. It feels a lot better than having to carry the burden around silently.

Spoke to dh about ttc again last night, said I do want to try but not very scientifically, just plenty of tith so we can build some bridges between us too. He said he's still not in a very good place with it all at the moment (this is quite something for him to say out loud!) and just wants to have a think about it a bit. Fair enough, we are in this together and I think not putting pressure on one another can only be a good thing. Hopefully we'll find ourselves in happier times soon.

Sorry for the essay, just needed to get it out, although the sun is shining I'm feeling pretty today. How's that for woe is me, fish slaps please.

Hi Ellis, sorry you are here. AF for me tomorrow so I feel you pain. I will have been TTC #2 for a year in July, mc in February.

Well I have had a stern word with myself and have decided to let people know that no.2 is most likely not going to happen. I have been avoiding my MIL as she so wants a second grandchild and has made references to it, pretty much directly I gave birth. I've asked OH to have a gentle word on Saturday when he goes over and explain that it's likely not possible. At the very least hoping she will then drop the subject entirely and she can get on with enjoying the grandson she was never likely to have before OH and I met (he was previously in a long term relationship with his ex who was much older than him).

So I've decided to put the monitor away, stop tracking OV and get a life instead. I'm not sure I've ever felt quite so inadequate and soul destroyed as I have since we started TTC. It really is a special sort of hell on earth just watching months scan passed whilst treading water. Enough already.

So I am booking the smear test this month as I am way way overdue and high risk after my LLETZ a while back and we shall just enjoy having sex without the need for contraception ever again. Lucky old me huh