TTC After MC: The home of hopeful nipples, ovulation eyes and the most determined Mummawannabees around. Chin up, tits out!

Hope today goes well Tanny but really don't put too much pressure b yourself - it's bound to be hard. No idea what's going on with me - cramps clearly weren't AF as no sign although sore boobs are back, maybe she's on the way. Utterly confused by body, after ignoring this stuff for 32 years I'm suddenly obsessed.

Hey Guys,

Just checking in so you don't forget me :) but nothing to report here. ON CD5 ish and i thought AF had disappeared but then another little burst today. Wish she would bugger off completely!
Had a lovely day yesterday, went to Kew gardens and spent the day in the sunshine with DS running around picking up twigs and flowers and generally enjoying the fresh air.
Have a good week everyone!

Morning Ladies,

Hope you had all had nice weekends. I throughly enjoyed the Backstreet Boys last night.... in fact i'm now sat watching all their videos on youtbe!!

Carly, you have an amazing mum there. Hope you're feeling better today.
Parsley - lovely words
Holly - what a lovely story. Glad your friend finally got her miracle. Its nice to actually see someone on FB acknowledge that for some people having a baby is not as easy as expected.
Tanny- i hope today goes well. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Enjoy a nice glass of wine as a reward!!

A couple of my pg friends got really cute mothers day card from their 'bump'. Made me a bit sad that it wasn't me getting cute bump cards... but hopefully next year i'll have a baby, not a bump!

Morning all, I hope everyone had a nice weekend! I have been lurking at times but didn't find the time to post, so sorry if I can't reply to what everyone's said over the last few days.

holly I'm sorry you got a BFN, has AF got you yet? If not there's still a glimmer of hope.

I hope your first day at work goes well tanny, not the best conditions though if you're feeling ill.

Cakes I too would advise to step away from the pregnancy tests, unfortunately they can't tell you whether you will have a sticky bean or not, but so far everything is looking promising right? I can only imagine how hard it is not to panic after what we've all been through, but try and find something to distract yourself with. Have you got any early scans booked at all, either private or NHS?

I had a lovely weekend, night out with DH on Friday, then went to a birthday party with DD on Saturday and had a nice day out on a farm yesterday. Now I'm starting to get very nervous about my job interview on Wednesday, but thankfully I've got a friend who works in the same field so she gave me some tips on what to say last night.

On the ttc front, I haven't got a clue what's going on this cycle. I'm CD15 today, a week ago I got two nearly +opks which would have been ridiculously early for ov, but since then they've all been really faint again. No sign of any ewcm yet either so I'm inclined to think I haven't ov'd yet and it will be back to my pre-mc 30+ day cycles.

I'm actually not that bothered by it all though, because if I get this new job we might take a break from ttc for a month or two so I can get settled into the new role before getting upduffed (because it will surely happen straight away then.... [tempting fate])

Oh, good luck today tanny. I know it probably doesn't help at all, but I've been going to counselling for worry and stress, and some of the useful things I've learnt is that though we might not think we do this (I certainly didn't), subconsciously we think that worrying will benefit us in some way, like playing a difficult conversation we have to have over and over in our minds makes us feel like we are preparing in some way for it - but the conversation will go differently to how you expect anyway, and all that worrying was for nothing. As you say - you've been stressed for a year, and (I'm so sorry to hear) that it hasn't helped - nothing has changed. Also I've been trying taking micro-mindfullness breaks, which seems to help, and writing a um...gratitude journal. I hate calling it that! I just write 3 things in a draft email each day that are good when i remember to which isn't very often and save it, so I have a short,because I keep forgetting list to look back over. Anyway, if you want I can email you all my worksheets from my counselling sessions? I can't remember if you said you'd been going yourself, but the waiting lists are so long, and you can really just work through them yourself.

It's my first day back at work today. I've had 6 weeks off with the MC and stress and don't feel in any way ready. I have a stinking cold, an arthritis flare up in my hip, and ovulating today, with pain.

I would love to have more time off but I need to get back. I'm down to half pay and am worried that I won't ever get back if I don't now.

It's been the shittest of times for well over a year, and for all the pain and stress, I'm in no better place than I was.

Sorry for the sob story. I'm feeling very sorry for myself.

And it's all about me.

holly, I'm so moved by your friend's story. I feel so deeply for anyone who has gone through so much, I'm so glad she got her baby.

Mostly just been distracting myself all day-and helping my elderly neighbour look for her teeth! The poor lady can't find them anywhere and neither could I. A girl needs her teeth!

Hi all haven't been on here too much still getting my head around this limbo land I'm in!
Those messages were lovely made me very emotional!!

I've always wished my period not to come when I was TTC it feels very strange now wiling AF to come so I can start the motion of trying again!

Omg I need to avoid here this evening lol holly I am now in flooods over your friends fb :) I hope she had the amazing day she deserves :) x

And the most special thing she does is refer to my baby as Joshua :) we didn't get as far as finding out if we were having a boy or girl but all the way through to us he was a boy and would have been a Joshua :) my mum is the only person Irl who makes my baby still feel as though he really happened, where as apart from here with you ladies everyone else never mentions it x

Beautiful words parsley

One of friends had a very difficult journey TTC - multiple MC, eptopic resulting in her loosing a tube, failed IVF. Then she had a 5 month career break to relax and have more IVF. It worked and she had her much awaited DC at the end of last year. Today she posted a photo of her, her dm and DC on Facebook. It said "if your dream is to become a mother and it hasn't happened yet, never give up because dreams to come true"

broody yes my mum is totally amazing and equally as heart broken by the loss as I am. She was the one who was with me (drove over 2 hours to get here) from the minute I started bleeding, spent the night in a+e and emergency gynae with me and I can honestly say I don't know how I would still be standing if it wasn't for my truly amazing, wonderful, special mum x

carly, what a truly wonderful mum you have. Her message - although tear jerking - shows what complete and utter understanding she has of the devastation of mc and how it's affected you. Incredible role model there. Hope you and the rest of the ladies have had a good day. Or at least got through it xx

parsley you're right re mummyhood starting the second you discover you're pg. You change, somehow, instantly. Amazing really.

parsley that's got me in floods...I feel the exact same way. Hope you too have had a lovely day xx

Thanks got reassurances guys. I feel like a right twat for getting worked up about it now! DH agrees!! Must chill out

holly sorry about the bfn but if AF is not here yet, you should not count yourself out as yet. Hopefully you are enjoying Mother's Day today and not thinking about this.

cake it is hard not to test. I think 2-3 on the digi depends on various things: concentration of hcg, so if it was not FMU then the levels would not be high enough, also You need min of 200 hcg to register 2-3 weeks. You may not have reached that level just yet. So I would quit worrying. Even then the digis can be off as I got a 1-2 wks on digi, implying i had less than 200 beta hcg, but when I had my blood beta hcg taken 2 hours later, my level was 344!!!

Thank you, cake. It's so hard not to to obsess but there are no more tests in the house and I will not buy any more. Felling much better now. Determined to take one day at a time. Enjoy your Mother's Day cake, and everyone else with children. And yes, here's to us all having babes in arms this time next year

sebs I remember your speech well and cakes it really is totally pointless poas-ing loads of times so please don't put yourself through it, according to my bloody testing I'm still preggers and that's about 7 weeks after mmc so the hormones still won't fuck the fuck off! I also asked my gp about those cb digi tests, she said they are basically a guide only and she wishes they were not available as they stress so many women out! So please chuck out all tests, sit back, and eat

Trying to be chirpy today for dd, who scribbled a picture for me but so sad not to have a lovely bump too. Fish slaps for me please.

Anyone else finding today hard? I was doing ok until I recieved a lovely message from my mum saying how our little bean would always be her first grandchild in her eyes and how he would always have a special place in her heart :,( every time I think I am doing well I get another day that knocks me off my feet.

But...happy Mother's Day to all you mummies and mummies to be, and here's hoping we all have our precious babies this time next year :) x

Thanks, sebs. I do need to stop stressing and reading too much into things. I promise to take it easy! And no more peeing on sticks!

CakesALot I did a speech on my last TTC thread that Cakebaker may remember which basically underlined the futility of pissing on multiple sticks after your first 'good' positive.

I hit all the digi stick targets according to Clearblue and still miscarried, so honestly, please stop stressing out about Clearblue digis, they will not predict a healthy pregnancy unfortunately.

I would have happily paid a private clinic to take regular HCG bloods from me for my own peace of mind. I spent a lot of time researching it when I thought I was losing my pregnancy (unfortunately I was ) and this service didn't seem to exist. I don't know why!!

Morning ladies!

I'm having a wobble and need a slap! I tested again yesterday-still positive. So I treated myself to a cb digi. Still said I was pregnant, but I was fully expecting it to say conception was 2 to 3 weeks ago but it said 1-2. There's obviously a good chance I ovulated later than I thought but I'm thinking actually my hormones aren't at the level they should be and this one isn't going to stick. I could be just being really pessimistic, it's a self-preservation thing!

This is why getting upduffed in the WTF cycle is a bad idea, it's all so uncertain!