thread maxed out!!

Hi ladies, this subject came up in conversation with my friend who was around 24 weeks at the time. We were discussing scans and gender etc (I already knew that her and her partner had not wanted to know the sex at their 20 week scan), and she asked if I was going to have the screening for Down's Syndrome. Until then I hadn't even thought that some people might opt out! And then she also said they hadn't wanted to know anything at the 20 week scan either (except checking the heart rate was healthy and growth was on track). Since then I have spoken to another pregnant friend who has also chosen not to have the screening for Down's as it would just make them more anxious and it wouldn't matter either way, she said.

I can understand the reasoning behind this decision but I personally will be having any screening / checks offered - if I received some bad news I'd like to be as prepared as possible; whether that meant speaking to other parents in the same boat or researching or like weebairn mentioned, making sure plans were in place should there be any complications or issues during pregnancy or after birth.

For me, having some kind of control over this roller coaster of a ride stops me from going insane!

I've been popping by to get an update on how you're all doing, can't keep away haha xx

Why is it you don't want to know about anything that might be wrong?

Is it because you would keep the baby no matter what?

I think I am the same but bear in mind some of the (very rare) conditions they can pick up on the scan are treatable. So if say baby had a heart defect they could make all the plans for surgery immediately after birth, have paediatricians present at the birth to help immediately etc - sometimes they even can operate while baby is still in the womb!! (The mind boggles!) These are obviously very rare situations.

I have a friend who is a midwife who didn't have any scans in her pregnancy, she just kinda wanted to do it all naturally I think

Morning, that's an interesting conversation, didn't really know that you had the option not to have the scan. Do you think you could meet half way and have it so you can see your baby but say that you don't want to be told if there is anything wrong?

Thanks wee I do want the scan to see our baby again but we dont really want to know about anything that might be wrong! Will have to have a chat with DH and see what we decide to do.

Hey binky

The downs risk is checked at the 12 week scan and the blood test that goes with it. I don't think they check for anything relating to downs particularly at the 20 week scan. They look at most of the organs in depth to check the heart, brain, spine, kidneys are all functioning etc. Cleft palates. Stuff like that.

Here's a good summary of what they look at in the 20 week scan

www.babycentre.co.uk/a557390/anomaly-scan-20-weeks

If you really don't want to know if there are any anomalies you don't have to have the scan - its not compulsory!

In my last pregnancy I had a low lying placenta on my 20 week scan and I got quite stressed about it, thinking I might need to have a c section etc. They rescanned me at 36 weeks and it was absolutely fine, not low any more. I agree sometimes it's just better not to know!

Am going to ask the question on here as it seems to have got lost on the antenatal thread!

Does anyone know what the sonographer checks at the 20 week scan if we have not asked for any tests done ie downs syndrome? The MW on the antenatal thread said the point of the scan was to check for anomalies but we dont want to know if there are any!

Haha fair enough. I started mid cycle last month and found it really useful but I'm finding it harder this month because I've been waking up at different times so dunno if that's why my temp is all over the place or whether it would have been at this point on my cycle last time. I want to sack it off too but it really helped me to know when to expect AF last month so don't want to lose that! Such a pain!

I did for about a week and then got bored I didn't really understand what was meant to be happening, plus I was still drinking so my temp would change depending on how much alcohol I consumed.

Cd14 today. I definitely prefer traditional names. I'd like to carry on with a family name but there are none that I like haha! Did you do a bit of temping chilly or did I make that up?

No worries

What CD are you h?

We have NO idea on names. We've started a list and we do both prefer traditional names but not the same ones, it appears. The only thing we're set on because I told DH this is what would be happening is the middle name for a boy. My DH and my Dad have the same middle name so I'd continue that.

Morning, nice to hear from you chilly, glad the mw appointment went well and you're feeling good about everything! Thanks a lot for the offer of stuff but I have loads of OPKs that I've not been using and I'm trying to steer clear of reading too much about anything because it makes me over think things. Thanks a lot though :)

misskgb hope you have a fab time in Wales, I went a few weeks ago and I'm going again in a few weeks! It's so nice to get some sea air isn't it!

Love all the name updates! I love Isabella as well :)

Keep putting off dtd, keep feeling like there's no rush because I've never OVed anywhere near this early, will start every other day from tonight though. Tired just thinking about it!!

Hiya
misskgb - look forward to hearing how your scan goes. It is very nerve racking the whole thing not knowing what's going on until scan. Have a fab hol.

Chilly- sounds like you had a fab mw app.

Names wise I only have a few. Girls I really don't have a strong opinion but like Isabella (lol binky), Isla andSadie. Boys- Blaine is a front runner and Xander is also on list.

H not hiding names not sure why I didnt say! Joshua Paul and Isabella Francine just hope s/he suit their names!

misskjb sounds like a lovely holiday. V jel cant wait until July for ours!

Hi all!

Had midwife appointment today. She’s adjusted my date from 11th to the 10th so I am 7+5 today but has said the date I receive at the scan is the date they will then work from. Apparently if these dates are correct the latest I’ll have the baby is 22nd

She’s made me feel completely at ease with regards to the cramps and the symptoms which disappear one day and appear the next. Haven’t had nausea for a few days now so naturally worried a bit!

I asked her about early scans and she said there were pros and cons so I’m still undecided on this.

Loads of info to read so that’ll keep me busy tonight! Had a blood test and have the form to fill in for my free prescriptions. Scan should be booked in for 4-5 weeks time and then it’s back to the midwife at 16 weeks with a urine sample and we'll listen to the heartbeat then as well. She’s given me details of the antenatal classes and told me to book on to the September/October one as early as poss as it books up quickly.

She was absolutely fantastic and had a fantastic sense of humour. I have her mobile number, the local birthing centre number and the number for the maternity unit at the hospital.

I didn’t ask loads of questions as I’d mainly forgotten them but I came away feeling pretty positive and it definitely feels more real. I can’t wait to go home, curl up on the sofa with a hot chocolate and read through the info

I have done no work at all today I really need to get on with it otherwise I'm going to get stressed. Oh well, start again tomorrow I guess!

H I got given a book from a kind MNer - "what to expect before you're expecting" and I want to pass it on to another MNer...would you like it? No worries if not, but I thought I'd see if a MNer I know wanted it before I did a general thread I also have about 30 IC OPKs if you wanted those?

Hi everyone! Exciting stuff for the scans everyone. Is this your 20 week scan Kiki? Haha oh dear, I can imagine it must be really scary when you're actually faced with the prospect of having to go through labour. I just try and think plenty of people do it more than once so it must be worth it in the end!

Hope you all really enjoy your holidays. Definitely seems like a good idea to get on them before it's too late!

You all seem to be keeping your potential names quiet! Any reason?! I have a girls name but not sure about a boys yet, just a few suggestions there. Obviously first things first is to get a bfp!

Not really any news from me. Started dtd a bit but getting in to the stage where it'll be more regular from now on. On cd13 but best case scenario can't see me OV for another week or so. Worse case scenario it could be another 30 days or something!

Wonder how Gennz and mrsb87 are getting on. Anyone hear from them in pregnancy threads?

Ooh, binky, do let us know about the hypnobirthing things - I'm intrigued! I read the chapter on childbirth in the Mumsnet book yesterday and ended up laughing so hard I was crying...then I wan't so sure I was crying because I was laughing anymore. Small hysterical breakdown, I think.

Helen - We have a shortlist for boys, and girls. We're going to try and get it down to 2(ish) for each and make a decision once we've met baby.

Second scan on Thursday, and mildly terrifying letter re: Anti-d injection in July arrived in the post today. Full steam ahead now and looking forward to seeing baba again on screen soon.

Hope you're all well - all the planned holidays and mini-breaks sound lovely.

wee your hiking holiday sounds fab. I've bought a camp bed type thing as I really dont fancy trying to hoist myself off the floor. Are you going abroad or staying in the uk?

misskjb hope you're having a great time away. At least you've had some practice with the 4 minth old now.

lolly bet you're counting days and weeks now! We are until 3 June for our 20 week. Cant wait to see him/her again. Its just so lovely!!!

H we have our names chosen already. We both agreed straight away. I'd always wanted to call my little girl Chloe but it just didnt feel right so have a lovely first and middle name for boy and girl.

Going to order the hypnobirthing cd today so will keep you posted!

Good morning everyone. Hope you all had a lovely weekend shopping, eating or DTD H

Our party was lovely, my mum had organised a joint engagement do for my sis and baby party for us. It made me really excited to be pregnant and got totally fussed over. Also got a lovely bunch of 'flowers' lots of tiny newborn stuff from my aunt and some gorgeous Cath Kidston baby things from my Sis.

Had my first half glass of Champagne since BFP and felt a bit light headed

mrshjb you are doing brilliantly, all our partners should read mumsnet to appreciate how sane we really are!!

Hope you enjoyed your party binkybunny
I really wanted/thought I was having a boy last time, but somehow it didn't matter at all when she was here, she was just my wonderful girl. So this time I am really happy either way. (I dress her pretty unisex anyway and all she likes is trains, animals and football!! I'll probably get a boy who's into cooking and dressing up this time ;) )

Nice to have a date lolly - yeah the midwife appointments are a bit boring really. I used to really look forward to them mostly as an excuse to get out of work

misskgb nice of you to babysit - I remember years ago I offered to look after my brother's 5 month old and thought we'd just lie on the bed and read - haha! It's ridiculous how much time and energy babies take up!

As far as names go, initially I definitely had a boy's name but couldn't think of a girls, then me and DP picked a great girl's name and now I'm not sure about the boy's one… ha. Last time I had 2 boys and 2 girls names and picked the final one on the day.

Morning lovelies

Had a nice day yesterday with my little brother and his two kids, one is only 7 weeks younger than my daughter so they love playing together. I keep trying to tell myself there are a few things that will be easier about having two, like the fact they can entertain each other a bit! After the newborn stage at least! Nice to have some sun, the toddler has come out in freckles for the first time which is adorable. Sorry if I talk about my toddler too much on here!

I've got some studying to do this morning for an exam I'm taking in July, then we'l go for a family walk I think (well it's more of a wander with an 18 month old), make some food ready before night shifts (too tired to cook when on nights…)

Even though scans make me a bit nervous, I'm trying to look forward to my 20 week scan in a couple of weeks. Me and DP have both taken the day off work and put DD in nursery so we can go for lunch afterwards and coo over our photo and brainstorm names! We are also planning a couple of mini-holidays before baby, one on our own with the grandparents babysitting, we're going to go hiking and stay overnight at a hotel with a spa :) , and we'll probably go camping with the toddler in the summer. Though I'm leaning towards "glamping" as I don't much fancy sleeping on the ground heavily pregnant! I'm also going away to stay with a mate on my own for a couple of nights and I don't do things like that very often so looking forward to it.

Ah, this year feels so busy with work and exams and mates and holidays… I am rather looking forward to the autumn/winter where I can hibernate a bit with a newborn again. Maybe my last maternity leave so have to make the most of it!!

Oh got date through today for scan when I will be exactly 12 weeks - 19th May. Eek x

Aw thanks H.

My friend went to mothercare for sex scan as his hospital didn't do it.

Yes binky my I would love to hear more about hypnobirthing.

Weft out for a lovely Malaysian meal with hubby last night, ordered what I wanted and when it came out I couldn't eat much of it as went off it. Had a virgin mojito which tasted just like the real thing, so had a few of those. I really don't miss alcohol. Thought I would but defo don't. Think I might just give up all together (with the exception of a glass of champagne for celebrations). Saving lots of money because of it too which is always good.

H, I have a couple of boys names, really want Scottish names as that's where I am from but lived away for 6 years. Not much on the girl front at mo.

Any plans for the weekend ladies? I am going holiday shopping for our delayed honeymoon. Need a hol before baby arrives.

Xx

Morning everyone, hope the time flies until your scans misskgb and lolly.

Wow your sister must be constantly tired misskgb! Dont know why I thought you were the same age as me, probably a long time ago when we talked about age! Am I am spring chicken at 26?!

binky you'll have to keep us updated about how you find the hypnobirthing stuff!

It would be weird if you could no longer find out the sex. Suppose people would end up paying private if they desperately wanted to know! Have any of you started to think about names yet?!