Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

Oh jass fingers crossed. I have had two bleeds in this pregnancy, both bright red/slightly mucusy for a day then stopped. When I had my scan they couldn't see any reason for it but just said it was common in early pregnancy. In my first pregnancy I had a hematoma and I bled on and off for two weeks - they could see that on the scan and it resolved itself and the bleeding stopped. In my second I didn't bleed at all and that was a blighted ovum...so anything it's possible. I think you are very disciplined to wait for so long for another scan - I need to know everything immediately!

gum I think either can be good. I watched a documentary once and the sperm reached the Fallopian tubes and sort of had a nap until the egg was released then they all woke up and got going. Amazing really. Equally, if they meet the egg on its way down they will try and fertilise it then and there. So with this mornings efforts sound like they would be perfectly timed . Does your DH notice your increased interest might follow a pattern? Do you instigate things more around ovulation?

Gum, sperm takes around 6 hours to get up into position to fertilise an egg, and then the opinions differ - some say best if fresh, and others that the best sperm is what has been swimming in fertile mucus for 48-72 hours. You can go by both theories, whicever suits you best at given point of time and gives you more hope....

Thanks to all for good wishes. My bloody flow is slower today, and I amtrying to do really nothing. Which drives my kids crazy, and makes me feel guilty about them, for not being any good to them. I do not want to risk taking them to seaside myself and my husband seems to think i am making an excuse for not going with them. I sometimes hate men for their lacko f understanding (men incl boys today in particular, my two younger ones are reslly going crazy due to inaction!). realised hjertemagnyl I was prescribed monday is usually (and harmlessly) enhancin vaginal bleeding in pregnancy. I have excuses galore for this bleed, but I still feel better the hours it does not occur and fall into blacker hole as soon as it reappears:-))) Tried reading up on astrophysics in the morning, some popular science stuff, but boys are making it impossible to concentrate on that, so back to internet now:-)

I could have a new scan on monday if i wanted, but i believe scanning too often is not good neither, so i prefer to give it 12 days from last monday and then get the news rather clearly in one go. 6days to go and as I said, I believe not knowing for confirmed bad news:-)

diege the shopping trip sounds like fun. I want to hear all about what you buy.

Green, so pleased to hear your happy news. You will be fine. As Jass said - you will cope - it may be hard at first, but so worthwhile, and I am sure your DH will be a great help.

Jass, there is a logical explanation, but I do understand if you feel concerned. It sounds to me like it will be okay. So keep holding onto hope. You have made it to 8 weeks, which to me is an incredible milestone.

Grizzer, it is so nice having that sense of accomplishment when decorating, isn't it? I am hoping to repaint my kids bedrooms when I take a week's long service leave later in the term. But then again, I might just spend the time relaxing

It seems the opk I took on Thursday wasn't actually positive, because I did another last night which was much darker than the control, so that was a definite positive. DH wasn't up for it then, but was this morning, so I think timing might be ok. And I am taking the relaxed approach anyway. At least I know where I am at with my cycle this month, am still taking temps, so not as confusing as last cycle. I think my test day will be my DS's 6th birthday (but that's only if I wait til 13 or 14 dpo, and that's if ovulation happens today). I've not had any O pain yet, so maybe later in the day.

What's the best time distance from ovulation for sperm to be deposited (for want of a better word) ? I know a + opk means you could ovulate in 12 - 48 hours (is that correct?), but how far out is optimal for sperm? 12 hours, 24, less? I am very curious. I suppose there are many variables aren't there? How good the sperm is, how good the cervical fluid is etc, etc.

Like I said - I am taking a relaxed approach so shouldn't be worrying about this stuff, but I do...

Big weekend this weekend. My lovely 17 yr old daughter has her school Ball ("prom") tonight. I'm taking her out to the salon later to get her hair done. I've altered her dress, bought her new shoes, clutch, eyeliner, lipstick etc I can't wait to see it all put together!

My little bear (DS) has an awful cold, very snuffly, so giving him lots of TLC today too.

Have a happy weekend everyone.

It'll be ok Jass, hold on in there. There is a rational explanation for the bleed, so you do have that to hold on to. You must be going crazy with worry though . Any way you could get a sneaky earlier scan before the one scheduled?
Green excellent news and jass is right - you will cope just fine, and what a few years you have ahead of you!
Gum I think (as your colleague has rudeness-form) that a sharp response from you would be entirely warranted. He certainly has it coming, and someone's going to blow up in his face sooner or later! Does he have any conception of how obnoxious he is being?
calibee did you get the booking-in call?
Grizzer don't give up for this month just yet. Do you usually get pre-af spotting?
Off on a shopping trip to town with a friend tomorrow - think I'll take dc 6 with me (now 10 mths) and hopefully he won't cramp my style too much. Looking forward to spending a bit of my exam marking money!
Love to all xxx

Jass I don't know what beliefs you may or may not have but I am saying a little prayer for you tonight. I hope you don't mind. Lots of positive thoughts coming your way - I'm sure everything will be ok for you xx

Green, good to hear about your great scan! All these risks are just risks! Reality is, you are carrying a perfect set of twins. And they will be here in due time! And I can guarantee you will not think then how you can cope, you will just go through each day coping. This is tough in the beginning and you have to remind yourself you really wanted these babies and you also have to try to enjoy them a bit - but then it gets easier and by the time you have two toddlers you will look back and see it was all worth it!

Gum, i would not be able to put up with that "collegial" behaviour for one day! Good for you for remaining icy politeness!

Grizzer, I strongly believe giving away baby stuff may do the trick! anyway, it lessens your pain when you again see a single-lined test etc.... But your time will come, for sure.

I am more than spotting, in fact this week has been a repeat of my 4th week, which started with spotting nadended with a bit more by the end of the week, then stopped. I am holding on to the fact that I amnow in week 8, period week, and my adeno is causing me having this slight bleed. If it continues into next week I think my scan willbebad news for sure. But today I am holding on to hope. I amnot ready to give up and start despairing, so I prefer to hope. It is dark red, not bright, have no pain and tonight ultrasore breasts.

Hi all, happy Friday! I have just finished decorating dd's room & am really pleased with it. Can't wait for her to come back from granny's tomorrow & see it. Just wish I could get a new carpet in there as it's awful & about a thousand years old but will have to wait for a few more pay days for that. She still has a changing unit (it has cupboards so we still use it) & a rocking chair from the bf days in it which I am going to put on EBay. Dh asked if I was giving up when I told him but I'm working on the theory if I get rid of the baby things I'm bound to get pg! Anyway, her room is so small it will make a huge difference to get rid of bulky furniture.
So pleased everything is going well Green. I'd love twins but would accept just one!! What's your due date?
Gum your office sharer sounds lovely! If I was you I'd be sickly nice & smiley to him whilst also leaving the door open constantly & sending students with 'very important' messages for him like 'my lesson has nearly finished, be a love & pop the kettle on!' Anything to annoy him further! Maybe I'm just spiteful.....
I'm due AF on Tuesday but had some spotting just now when I went to the loo. That's means a 27 day cycle when I'm usually 31 so a bit weird. I know there is no chance this month because dh has been away & also been cycling loads which I'm sure doesn't help the sperm but I still have a little part if me thinking 'what if....?' It would be the old classic of been trying for ages & the one month we don't bother it happens! Anyway, of course it's just AF showing early so stop it mad loony woman!!
Waves to everyone, have a lovely weekend xx

gum well he sounds like a total prince - a haughty yet dignified sang froid might just be the way to go making sure you have enough energy for further ravaging of DH

Had my 8 week scan today and twin number two popped up . It is smaller that number 1 (about a week behind) but apparently this is nothing out of the ordinary. Both their heart beats were pulsing away - I cried (again). In have to say that the NHS are doing an amazing job of scanning me because of my previous miscarriages....it is very reassuring.

I booked in for my 12 week "normal dating scan" whilst I was there as we are going away for 2 weeks to Florida - from the 18th otherwise they would have had me in for yet another scan in between. I am certainly not complaining .

I was reading a checklist on the wall in the clinic about high risk pregnanctpy factors 1. Over 40 (tick) 2. 1st child (tick) 3. Multiple pregnancy (tick) 4. Family history of pre-eclampsia (tick).......and so on. DP reckons if we make it delivery we will have a cast of thousands in the room!

So off to start a new set of worries to go along side will I miscarry again, will I be able to cope at my age - will I be able to cope with 2 at my age....eek!

Hi Lemon, yep, I am the happy mum of 5 (aged 23, 21, 17,14 and 5). I know, I must be flippin' cray-cray to keep trying for one...last...precious..baby. But there it is - I am crazy and really do want that last little One. I have always pictured 6 children, grown up and sitting around the family table. I don't know why, I just have.

Anyway, I managed to get DH to ravage me (or vice-versa)! That's after getting an almost/probably positive opk. I'll do another opk and check tonight. And it is the weekend tomorrow, so there's always a chance for morning sex...

DS had a rough night last night and has woken with a very sore throat, so DH is staying home today. I still need to go and get organised for work. I have a couple of free periods this morning, so will take my time.

Speaking of bitchy work-places... Yesterday I sent a couple of very responsible year 11's to get my classroom keys from my office desk. The male dipshit teacher with whom I share an office, gave them a mouthful about how "teachers shouldn't be sending students to fetch things from their desk". Clearly it was a go at me. I don't why he couldn't keep quiet then have a word to me about it later. But he actually doesn't have the guts to do that. Anyway, I am now treating him with icy politeness. Last week, as I walked into the office to quickly get something, leaving the door open for about 10 seconds he shouted at me, "close the fucking door, we don't live in a tent!". My response was, "Sorry, and good morning". He then said, 'Oh, good morning". What an arse. He hasn't been in our office long, but was sent there because the other office he was in kicked him out for being a toss-pot and being very rude to the other members. Now I have to put up with him. I shall try to exude nothing but professionalism, but honestly, I really don't like him.

Anyway, the sun is shining, I must be off

Haha gum I didn't think for one minute you were being bitchy ignoring me!!!
My workplace has ups and downs regarding bitching. I've only recently gone back from mat leave so still need to get used to it again. Good luck getting in the mood for shagging. Do you have any dc?

Morning ladies.

Gum your post had me cracking up. I think its hilarious that you "eye" up men weighing up if you would shag them or not. Now before you mentioned it I would have said I never did this, but thinking about it now, I would say I do maybe give a second glance and my mind may just linger for a second or two longer than it should. I wonder if this happens nearer ovulation time. .
How interesting that teenagers still hold onto such narrow ideas surrounding "age related" topics. I guess when you're 15 years old that 40 seems ancient, I remember it well myself. How different it is when you actually arrive there eh?? In my mind I feel mid 20's still...alas my body is the one letting me down.

Lemon bitchy workplaces are dreadful. I have to say that where I am the team are a breath of fresh air compared to where I left in England. Actually it was just one particular manipulative and sickly-sweet-on-the-surface member of staff who actually made going to work for me like a day at the dentist!!! Good luck with the OPK's. Sometimes the cheapy ones can be a little difficult to read, hopefully this wont be the case for you and ovulation will be lovely and apparent...and regular

I have my allotted phone call slot this morning to call to accept my IUI and schedule first appointments, so should be a little step closer by the end of today.

Hi lemon. We must have cross-posted. (I'm not intentionally ignoring you) Yes, I think you are right about women and bitchiness. It seems the majority of craziness stems from women. I think one of my workmates is menopausal and that is why she's so grumpy and difficult. However, I don't think it is an excuse. She needs to do something about it if it is making her so miserable. Having said that, she's always been a bit unstable, so maybe the meno is just exacerbating it.

I understand the sleep deprivation/breastfeeding thing. It's hard to find the time and energy to remember the opk's let alone DTD.

Oh, Jass, it's true, there's always something to worry about!

Having said that, I know if I got my BFP, which progressed, I would happily take the tiredness, the looks of disapproval, the sickness, the house getting messy because I can't be bothered (or am too tired to tackle it) etc, etc. Then the worry about testing, the risks at my old age, etc, etc. Of course all of that sinks into insignificance when I picture a newborn snuggled up to me, a giggly baby, a funny toddler and gorgeous pre-schooler.

For all the trouble pregnancy, birth,babies and kids are, they are worth the worry and work.

So I guess that's my ambivalence cured for another month - I must be close to ovulation.

I did an opk last night - getting darker, but not yet positive - which is good as DH was up late marking and I was fast asleep by 10:30. I am hoping we'll both have the energy and desire tonight and then over the weekend. I also know I must be close to ovulation as I find myself looking at other men and weighing up whether I would shag them Of course I wouldn't, but I do seem to find all sorts of men I wouldn't normally give a second look, desirable, when I am close to ovulation. There were quite a few to eyeball at the pool last night! [dirtyoldladyemoticon]

I had a very interesting discussion with my senior school students yesterday. We were talking about conforming to society's expectations. We listed all the things we conform to: fashion, hygiene,relationship expectations etc. Interestingly the kids started talking about having children and how at a young age it is still considered unacceptable, but also that after a certain age it is unacceptable. Many of the students said it was really wrong to have a baby after age 40 for both men and women. We had quite a debate about it. What was interesting (and I did make my view very clear) was how many students came to me after class, to say that they agreed with me (obviously they didn't want to speak against dominant voices in the class) and wanted to tell me stories,"a guy at my cricket club had a baby at 62", "My friend has a dad in his 80's", "My grandma had my dad at 42" etc. It was very interesting to hear what they thought. Many have this skewed idea that older parents won't have the energy to play with their kids and that they will die before the kid's 21st birthday! However, the majority of these kids also don't agree with gay marriage or tattoos (it's a conservative little enclave where I work).

Anyway, I hope everyone is ok today. Can you all send some vibes so I can get into the SWI mojo? It just isn't happening...I really need to jump my DH, but it seems tiredness, marking and life in general conspires against us...

Thank you for the welcome ladies. It's nice to be called a spring chicken for once haha.
I'm still bf my dd which I don't think helps ttc matters so it's all a bit slow over here. I bought some cheap opk last month and will start using them this week if I remember to in my sleep deprived state
I totally understand bitchy work environment. And I fully expect a school to be a bad one. In my experience sadly things are worse when there are too many women around!

i work in finance, of all places in the world - I guess it is rare to have in this sector that kind of environment, but as i said, in our unit I am myself the most senior and as a mother of 4 obvioulsy tuned in to family- related stuff. we are auditing though, so not these cut-throat trade floor types:-)

Gum, i worry a lit about life and pg. First, what if my daughter became pg and felt I am stealing close family's attention from her first? She is not that kind of person, my worry is hopefully groundless. Second, what will my co-workers outside of my team think, i am 44 and they must think I am crazy to once again leave my sharp costums for maternity officewear.
then i worry of course whether i will have a difficult pregnancy and lots of scares - my adenomyotic uterus is certainly going to guarantee me a lot of breakthrough little bleeds, it can cause placental abruption and premature birth. Rarely, but still. And endlessly on and on:-)

Calibee, great news that you are up the list for IUI. I would tell my boss I need to have medical appointments. If he asks for more details, tell him, but saying "for medical reasons" should be enough, shouldn't it?

Jass, I really like the sound of your workplace. May I ask what you do? I am not sure if I have asked before, but I can't remember. I only ask out of curiousity, it helps me picture my online friends.

In my workplace, there's only one or two women I can be completely honest with. Unfortunately, believe it or not, a school can be a nest of vipers and it certainly is in my office. To stay sane I have nicked-named my colleagues.I won't say their nick-names, just in case... One is a very rude,strange man. He has just married his mail-order bride, who is half is age and 100 times prettier. She is from a third world country, so I can see the attraction (on her part - a chance for a better life). She's now pregnant, but still in her home country waiting for a visa, and he seems very disinterested in the pregnancy and probably won't be there for the birth. To top it off, he is not very good at his job, is lazy and looks to others to fill in the gaps for him. The two women who also occupy my office are not that far from being certifiably crazy. One is so up and down I am afraid to speak to her for fear of having my head bitten off! The other hates men and is happy to say all sorts of disparaging things about our male colleagues. However (our department is split into two offices) the ladies in the other office are compassionate and kind, and one in particular knows about my miscarriages and has been very sweet.

green, as for "get going", I wish I could! I actually think I haven't missed the fertile window, despite the ewcm the other day - the end of AF perhaps?? Anyway, I did an opk last night, negative, so unless I have completely missed it (unlikely I think) I am still in the running. The trouble is that I am so knackered by the end of a long day, that I just can't summon the energy. And DH and I are so out of sync with our sleeping patterns. I rise early everyday and go to bed around 9. He is a night owl. I am hopeful that the weekend will be fertile time, because I have a lot more energy then.

Does anyone else worry about certain aspects of pregnancy and how they will impact on your life? (Actually a large number of ladies on this thread are pregnant already).I know it is silly, and all part of my ambivalence about it, and also a bit premature as the chances of pregnancy are so slim, but I really do worry about how I will cope working full-time, feeling dreadful,tired and sick. As it is, I am tired everyday just from being a working parent, without a pregnancy to add to it. I'm also concerned about my terrible pelvic floor which has been ravaged by 5 pregnancies and births. At this stage its ok, but not fantastic - I have a bit of a prolapse, and I have to cross my legs when I sneeze if my bladder is full But how will it be if I have another? I had always planned to have a bit of sorting -out surgery after a 6th baby, but I guess if the baby doesn't happen soon, I will talk to my doctor about having the surgery anyway.

I have made an appointment to see my "female" doctor ( I have a family doctor whom I see for most stuff, but I see my "female" doctor for pap smears and all things girly, she did my ERPC's and all the testing post miscarriage). I will ask her to run a panel of blood tests again. I imagine by now my AMH is completely gone, and estrogen will be high etc, etc. The only problem with seeing her is she isn't confident about what to do with the results and wants me to see a fertility specialist about them. I know I'll be told to do donor ivf, and all I want is maybe some tweaking of hormones. Also seeing a fertility man in a fertility clinic would cause my Dh to run screaming into the hills, never to be heard of again. Truth is, if I did go to a fertility clinic, I'd have to do it on the sly and I don't want to do that. What I'd like, is if my Dr had a bit more knowledge and could just prescribe what I need. Maybe I don't need anything?

Oh my, I am sorry for rambling. If you have read to the end of this post, you deserve and I am going to make my low-carb breakfast now. Smoked salmon, avocado and cottage cheese. Wish I could add toast, but if low carb can help with an egg inviting environment, I'll keep doing it.

green thank you. Thats the kind of thing I was thinking. I work in a hospital Pharmacy dispensary so there is a rota to cover earlies/lates/wards etc, so I would need to give advance notice of appointments.

Excellent news on getting to the top of the list! You could just tell your boss that your are having few gnae issues that will require some treatment and you will of course try and minimise the impact said appointments might have on work. You could then ask him if he wants to be kept up to date with what appointments you will need. If he is as squeamish as you think and would rather stick pins in his eyes than have you discuss your "lady" issues with him - he might leave you too it.

Not sure what work you are doing and whether you need to be covered or whether you can manage your own time? I just came out with it with my boss - she was and still is very supportive for which I am very grateful. Managing my clients has been a different issue though.

grinch how are you doing?

morien hello and lovely to hear from you - sounds like you have had a fabulous time - it seems to have gone so fast! This pregnancy is result of donor egg IVF after we concluded that my eggs were just not of sufficient quality...another scan on Friday

gum get going girl

Welcome lemon you are a spring chicken compare to me - here's wishing you all the very best of luck in a speedy conception and uneventful, stress free pregnancy!

Jass having only worked there for 4 months I don't really feel able to talk to my line manager ( a male who shivers at any sort of womens talk). I have confided in a female colleague, however it's my line manager who needs to be told about any appointments....so for now, at least, I will be telling him the minimum I can get away with.

Calibee, I would be honest about it. I guess tangling yourself in the weird web of white lies will add the stress and you badly need to be as stress free as possible. How hopeless are your coworkers in this respect - can you not risk something neutral that you are having some fertility treatments and while you do not hope so very much out of them, you feel like you really should try before it is too late? I think most work mates would understand and apreciate honesty in these cases?

I have been very open with my close staff about the mcs, because we operate really closely with each other and otherwise they would have been wondering why i am not myself and maybe thought their performance is to blame (i am most senior in the team). So i did not feel silence or lies would have worked..... We since have the (untold) policy for everyone that boyfriend/marriage/pg trouble is best communicated, so everybody can support everyone. i think it has worked well over the years because everyone knows they do not have to pretend everything is Ok when really they are suffering. We are not even all female, and my male colleague has had teouble with mcs in his family, we know it all.

Gum I wish...but alas a BFN today on 11dpo.

Good news though. I just arrived home to a letter telling me I am now at the top of the list for IUI and inviting me to make an appointment. They have given me a certain time on Thursday to ring to accept or decline the appointment and its smack bang in the middle of my working day....hmm I will have to find a quiet cupboard somewhere lol. Mind you, how the heck I'm going to explain all the appoinments to work I just don't know. Can anybody think of anything good??
x

Gum, my this pregnancy is a result of an extra early ovulation. and a few others as well. it seems like if the ovary is able to kick the egg out without overcooking it, it has better chance to fertilise for some reason. So, maybe it is worth a try:-)

Jass, congratulations! That sounds really exciting. Looking forward to hearing more...

Jass, I agree with everyone else, it does sound positive. And it is really good that you are feeling positive yourself. So, yes, enjoy being pregnant.

Jbrd, I hope you were able to get the antibiotics. Ouch! UTI's are awful.

Calibee, could a lack of sore boobs be a sign of pregnancy? As it is unusual?

Hello, Lemon, welcome to our cosy little thread.

As for me, weirdness going on with my body. Yesterday I had EWCM, but I'm only on day CD9 today. WTF?? Of course my first reaction was, 'when I get home I must do an opk, and must have swi just in case.' Then I got home, forgot all about it, went to bed early (without DH) so may have completely missed the fertile window. And then I jumped out of bed at 5 am when DS had wet the bed, and I didn't take my temperature. Bloody hell.

I guess, I will try to remember to do an opk tonight, just in case, but I have a staff meeting, so may forget all about it...I think I am more of the , if it happens, it happens, attitude at the moment...