Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

jass So sorry to hear that you didn't get more reassuring news at your scan. The limbo is the worst, I think, when it can swing both ways. Wishing you lots of strength to keep going - will they give you another scan to check how things are progressing?

Welcome raisin! May your stay on this thread be short and sweet! I wish I had been brave enough to start ttc again so soon after my DS arrived.

gum Your DD is beautiful! Doing the model pout quite well, isn't she . Hope your DS gets better soon, you must be so fed up with him being poorly so often (and I bet he is, too!).

Well, my temps did a massive dive this morning, so I think that AF is imminent - I'm CD25/14DPO now, and until today, had been harbouring the quiet hope that I might be pg again. But it seems less and less likely, especially now that the temps are going down.
I had my second counselling session on Tuesday, and it wasn't as 'comfortable' as the first - not in any way bad or anything, but we talked a lot about how I deal with grief and bereavement, not only connected to the mcs, and how I don't really talk to DH about how I feel, and even less about how he feels. Really brought it home that I always keep things in and try to deal with everything myself, getting really angry and frustrated sometimes... I should really talk more with him about it all, to ensure that we are really on the same page.
It was good, but definitely gave me some things to think about!

Fireflies, also glad the funeral is behind you now! I am sure ovary feel perkier because you feel 35ish, too! Happy birthday for tomorrow!

Gum, hoping for a bfp in a week's time then!

Calibee, occasional anovulatory cycle is such a sad thing. I so hope the IUI will go ahead in Sept already.

I had a nice evening with friends yesterday and did not think about pg at all. Almost. No cramping or big bleed to remind me neither. Seems good mood hopes. have organised a busy day for today, too!

Oh Jass , I hope and pray your little baby will hang on in there and the next scan will bring better news for you xxx
Poor DS gum ! You must have been so worried when he had to go to hospital to have an xray, good that you can have some time at home with him now while he recuperates.
CaliBee September isn't far off at all, you must be looking forward to getting on with the IUI !
Fireflies glad you got through the funeral, it's a sad and difficult enough occasion without having to worry about family issues too, good that everyone was on best behaviour. Hope you enjoy your birthday on Friday, 45 is a great age to be pregnant ,it worked for us and DD3!

Oh Jass, I am very sorry to hear that things aren't going as well as you'd hoped, but as you say, baby has made some progress since last ultrasound, so there's still hope.

Hi fireflies. I now want to see your haircut and colour. It sounds very nice. I hear you about the age thing. I am often met with gasps of disbelief when I tell people I am 47 (perhaps they are just trying to be nice). I just wish my ovaries acted like they were still 38 too. However, I still believe there's got to be a good egg in there somewhere!

I am still feeling under a complete haze of tiredness, even after a full night's sleep. Last night DH and I were watching "Outlander", which I found to be really good, but for the life of me I could not stay awake. In bed by 9! I'll catch up viewing today.

My temperature has done a lovely big jump, but that's nothing unusual. What would be good is if it stays up and doesn't fall around 12 dpo. We shall see. I am only 5 dpo today.

I am at home with DS again today. Though he isn't too ill, he's not sleeping well with the cough, so it is better he isn't at school. So at least I can have a rest too. I must go and write some relief lessons.

Just noticed what you were saying about ov/tiredness. Was going to ask whether anyone else gets utterly knackered around ov time. I seem to these days. Is just the pits along with PMT.

Hi all, esp Gum. Thanks for asking after me. Have been reading along half-heartedly for past week, so apols for not n/c everyone. Welcome raisin. May your stay be short and fruitful.

JassS keeping my fingers crossed for you and your little bean.

Gum wow - your daughter looks amazing. I wondered why the thread had gone all 'Girl With a Pearl Earring' until I read further!!

The funeral was very nicely done for DFIL, and everyone on nearly their best behaviour. Leaves you feeling so drained though, especially with the unbelievably long day the sons planned (1000-1900 all told).

Am approaching ovulation so need to see if DH and I can get in the mood. Not really feeling it at the moment though! Must try harder. Have just got back from hairdressers though and am getting close to feeling fabulous again as she has done the most amazing job. Excellent colour and brilliant cut. For once the hairdresser listened. She's a trainee, so that's probably why!!

Is my birthday on Friday so off to get some lunch and sort out a few treats. Well, if I don't no-one else will! Might find some sand to bury my head in so I can pretend I'm not 45 35 again. A friend guessed me as 38 the other day, so with my new hairdo, who knows? Maybe I can manage 10 years younger!! Wish my ovaries would do the same though! There, they can have this for my birthday!!

freckle, i try to remember your new name by the totally not true belief that most irish are read-heads and have freckles (i have at least 3 irish colleagues and none is, bthw:-))).

Cramping and red yesterday evening again, I made an appointment for re-scan for this morning. news inconclusive but more negative this time - instead of catching up we are falling more behind. there was about a week growth (very optimistically seen) from last US, whihc was 10 days ago. So. most likely an mc, but since poor baby is or at least has still been struggling during these 10 days, i have to continue to wait and see. I have a 1% chance (again, with dropping hcg levels I already was there). There was now a fetal pole of 2-3 mm, pregnacy looks normalf or about 6weeks gestation. last week it looked 5. By some US guides it would be 6w2-3days (gestational age is 6weeks plus so many days as long is the fetal pole). But crucially, there is no heartbeat. either it stopped developing a few days ago (when my bleeding increased, too) or the baby is developing too slowly to have much hope. Onm isdiagnosed mc forum, I have now been through the examples "droping hcg" to the section "looking 1-2 weeks behind" to now the section "baby seen, but no heartbeat detected". i know I should rationally give up, but am resisting, because if the baby developed since the last US, who am I to decide it is over. Only baby can decide it now. I am continuing my meds and staying sober. sobriety is a good thing in itself - even if a glass of ice cold riesling would do my mind lots of good:-))

Oh, sorry to hear that Calibee, but it is great that the IUI appointment is organised.

I have just got back from a trip to Drs and then hospital with DS. He had to have a chest x-ray at the hospital, as Dr wanted to rule out Pneumonia. It looks like his lungs are clear and doubtful that he has pneumonia thankfully. However, the Dr has signed me off until Friday if needs be. The only hassle is writing lessons when I don't really know where the kids are at. Never mind, it is more important that I care for DS.

So now I am home doing a carb induced impression of a sloth. Or could this be due to a fertised egg? I am feeling incredibly sleepy (and, incidentally felt that way yesterday).

So is it because I am going to get a bfp this time? I have sore boobs, with the interesting sharp twinge here and there. I feel very sleepy and craving carbs.

More likely it is due to the fact that I met my Dsis at a cafe and, trying not to spend too much went for the soup option: Sweet potato soup, served with fries and gluten free bread. Bloody carb-fest! And, like a good little carb addict, I ate the lot! I am guessing I have gone over the intended 128gms of carbs today, and I really don't want to log it on my fitnesspal knowing that it will go over. And I guess the tiredness is also due to looking after a sick kid.

I think that's all a bit more likely than upduffness.

Yawn...time for a nap I think

hello all
gum af didnt show so it seems the positive opk's didnt result in ovulation. I'm a little sad as it was our final try before DH went away. On a positive note, I have the appointments re. IUI in September so hopefully do a first round very soon after that.

Hi freckle - I love your new nickname. Ds is still not well. He has an awful chesty cough, so I will take him to see the GP today. Just want to rule out any secondary infection. Poor boy told me last night that he's tired of being sick and just wants to feel better. At least the Deputy Head, who does the absentees and organises relief teachers,has been very understanding and fine with me taking more time off work if I need it. I'll probably get a Drs certificate today in case I have to be home Thurs & Fri because DH is taking off tomorrow for a couple of days - going to see Bob Dylan in concert. I could have gone too, but now I am glad I'm not going, with DS being unwell.

jass, I am sorry to hear about the cramping - such a worry, but the explanation is very reassuring. Can you have a reassurance scan if you feel very worried? As for the spotting - it is so common in early pregnancy.

Raisin - I was trying to do the same - catch the first egg, when my DS was little. It didn't happen for me, but I know it happens for many women. One of the things I read about helping the return of fertility was taking Vitex. I am pretty sure it didn't interfere with breastfeeding or milk production. There's also a bit of info here

Fireflies - haven't heard from you in a while. How's things?

Calibee - how are you, did AF turn up?

No, AF not returned yet - hoping I can catch a BFP before it arrives.

GUm, beauriful picture! Girls get better and better when they grow up! (Boys, on yhe contrary, get on bikes when they turn 14 and then it is as worrysome as early pregnancy to see whether they return safe every evening or not:-)))

Thanks to all for encouragement. i had some bad cramping yesterday evening and this morning, but still no more blood than to fill a panty liner a day. dark, but some is more dark red than brown, so there is more of a doubt in my brain. I called docs this morning re cramping, but of course they assure me cramping in 9th week is normally esp intense bcause of growing, spotting can be absolutely fine and hjust keep calm. I know of course many women have looked behind,had cramps and bleeding and carried to term - but I never have, I have only carrid to term when there has never been any spotting! of course, I havenever before with bleding pg got to see yolk sac and this time i did, but.... i am today more doubtful because of the cramps......

Thought I'd have a namechange too, I'm still irish though!
Gum I had to come on to comment on your daughter's photo, she looks absolutely stunning! Hope your DS is better soon, that bug seems to be really lingering on.
Green great to hear your twins are doing well x
Jass it must be a stressful time for you but as the others have said scant amounts of brown blood can be fine, I had several bleeds too with DD2 and she was perfectly ok each time she was scanned. Hope you're feeling ok today.
cloud love the new name! You've got me thinking,I'll be 64 before DD3 is finishing school/ready to head off to Uni, that's a scarey thought. Hope it'll keep me young!
Welcome Raisin , I'm technically a graduate from this thread but am lurking keep popping back to see how everyone is doing and will them on! Like gum my fertility has never resumed till after I stop breastfeeding completely,so up to 18/20 months but everyone is different. My DD3 is nearly 16 weeks too!
Hi Diege , Calibee and everyone else

Hi Raisin. Has AF returned for you? Perhaps you could use OPK's to gauge whether you are ovulating again? I am one of the lucky/unlucky ones who doesn't get fertility back for about 18 months - I hope you have it happen quicker than that.

cloudjumper - I love your new nickname!

jass, being optimistic about your pregnancy is a good thing. I think it bodes well. With my first two miscarriages I had an "irrational" anxiety that something was wrong. And it seems I had an instinct about it. With DS, pregnant at 41, I had no such anxieties, I really did just believe I would have a baby.

My DS is still not well. Now he is coughing up a lot of yuckiness. I think he's feeling better, but the cough sounds awful, so he will stay home with his dad today.

I am attaching a picture (unfortunately I am a terrible photographer) of DD dressed up for her school ball. She is doing a bit of a "model" pose, she doesn't normally look that cranky!She had a lovely time.

welcome, Raisin, and sure iti s worh a try if your DD is already 16mo. Most women are fertile by this time again, because body is so used to BF that it will ovulate anyway. You are not probably nursing every 3-4 hours, which is considered a possible barrier for ovulation (and often even that is not enough:-)

hello ladies, can I join the thread please? I am just a few months shy of my 40th (october) so feel more at home here than other TTC threads.

I have one DD, who is 16 weeks and I have just started TTC again. Its pretty early, but it took 3.5 years and a MMC at 12 weeks before I got my BFP with her, so don't really want to wait around. Im also sit breastfeeding, so there is a chance Im not fertile yet, but Im ever optimistic.

Looking forward to joining in the thread, I found other threads so helpful when I was TTC after my MMC

Cloudjumper is a nice name:-) for the fresh start!

i woke up this morning irrationally optimistic about this pregnancy. No reason, really. Same small amounts of brown sludge, but i looked at my photo and compared it to all ultrasound guidances in the world i could find online and mine is so-so normal for a smaller pregnancy. Looking the pic is therapic writing here clearly is as well (sorry for crowding the space:-))).

Evening all - it's JBrd here. I've finally taken the plunge and namechanged, it was long overdue

jass Brown is better than red, and if there isn't much of it, even better! Fingers crossed it'll stop altogether soon.

diege I am of your shopping spree! I need so much stuff, most of all shoes, both for work and for non-work. I used to love going shopping, but not anymore - most time, I do it online now, or at TK Maxx (classy, me ).
I also quite like Cath Kidston, but DH hates the stuff, so there is no chance of it in our house (apart from a plate/bowl set of DS's, which has dinosaurs on it, so it was just about was allowed). Her baby and children's stuff is lovely, especially the pyjamas, but sooo expensive.

gum I'll be +/-60 by the time DS will be leaving school/home, and I fully intend to be a 'young' 60-year-old!

Diege, good for enjoying yourself online and in real life shopping!
i spent the day in zoo and did an italian restaurant afterwards. My 9yo ordered two main courses - meat with potatoes and a big pizza. then ate it all. 5yo only asked for kid's pasta and proceeded to eat this and his dad's soup:-). i got my risoto intact luckily, but DH had my half of my lemon meringue. i guess costwise was close to Diege's splurge.

It was good in this sence that even if I was probably moving a bit more than doctor's orders, but mentally it felt great not to have many thoughts about pg. it does not seem to have enhanced the brown flow neither. I decided to wear a pad as had a white dress on, it merely got stained.....Like the last day of period or sth....

Hardly a derailing, Diege, more like some fabulous entertainment/living vicariously, whilst trying not to obsess over ttc/early pregnancy etc.

I don't know "benefit" make-up, but I had a recent Clinique splurge. Bought a fabulous liquid eyeliner for DD1, which she used last night and it looked lovely. I also quite like Kath Kidston, however, son't see it much in Oz. I am also the proud owner of a MArc Jacobs bag - bought on Ebay for a bargain price.

As for splurging on the kids - i would love to have a wee baby to buy for. I do enjoy buying bits for DS, though he's npt abig fan of new clothes and would be happiest in dirty jeans and a tee.

Jass, glad to hear the flow is more like normal pregnancy flow.

I just popped on while waiting for the spinach pie to finish cooking, so I have to jump back up to serve it. It smells yummy.

I will be at home tomorrow as DS seems to be more sick now than on Friday. Poor wee thing...

Jass that sounds quite hopeful about the flow - surely it would have developed further if it was not to be?
Gum sounds like your daughter had a wonderful night - I can't imagine my 3 girls at that stage, but then I said the same about becoming teens when they were babies and dd1 is very much the teenager now, albeit 3 weeks in
Had a great time shopping yesterday, though was hit with the dreaded migraine mid-way through a meal out. I think it was the combination of the lighting (always a trigger for me) and possibly hot chillies too that I wasn't expecting...Still, a heavy does of codeine seemed to help, though still lingering this morning..
Ok, for those that are interested, this is what I bought (bearing in mind this has been my first splurge for ages..)

1. Make-up: Benefit foundation (LOVE it, a repeat buy which is rare for me); Benefit concealer (Boing concealer, great for dark spots that I am ridden with post-pregnancy); YSL Babydoll mascara, again suckered in by sales spiel but I have heard it is the best; Clinique chubby stick.

1. Cath Kidston. Love it or hate it, there was a sale on. Bought a new flask for work (saving money all the time as I can avoid the daily coffee splurge on my commute at Costa). Cute zoo-theme hoodie for ds1. Two piece baby outfit for ds3, pumps for dd3.

1. I then came home and continued splurge on-line.. bid on and won a Chloe Paddington bag (don't ask how much), a See by Chloe silk dress (bargain), a Boden coat for dd3, a Marc Jacobs messenger bag.

1. This morning splurge cont...Toby Tiger tops x 3 for ds's. Joules outfit for ds3.(oh and also have bargain second hand Micralite pram but I WILL be selling the McClaren...)

That is IT. I feel a bit sick but more happy Also purged writing all all down
Sorry for massive derailing of thread .

Gum, I had exactly the same thoughts at my daughter's wedding, There were several pg young women there and i felt like an intruder into their generation:-))) Never mind, your life, your kids, your decisions, it is no ones business how old you are. I am told I look hardly over 35 and i had difficulties buying wine in the shops until 30, so i guess at 60 i will not be too bad - and late life pregnancies lower cancer risks and rise longevity!

re swi every day - I never manage more than every other day during the window, and that is clearly enough. older men need recovery time for better sperm quality anyway:-)

flow still brown. the amount is like the normal pregnacy flow, which is just brown, not white as it should be.....

Hi Jbrd, thanks for the positivity about my timing. I feel good about it, though I know if I was totally committed to ttc I should have had SWI every day for a week before ovulation. But in reality, that is just too hard for a couple of oldies dealing with the usual stuff: aging parents, annoying sons in their early 20's (one unemployed muso who has no concept of how to budget, the other hard-working but still living at home and has lost his driver's license so we are driving him to work and back daily ), a young son who isn't very well at the moment, plus work and general tiredness!

Anyway, it is just as well there are opk's otherwise I might miss the fertile window entirely. Which I think may contribute to the lower rates of pregnancy in over forties - I know it is mainly due to hormonal imbalances and egg quality, but the lower rates may also be due to the fact that we aren't exactly shagging like bunnies as we get older (life has a way of wearing us out).

Anyway, I am happy with the efforts and have had a rise in temperature today, combined with O pain I felt whilst swimming (about 7 hours after DTD) has me concluding I did ovulate yesterday.

Green, my DH seems to have no idea about the fact that I am more interested at a certain time. He doesn't really know when I have AF so there's nothing much to base assumptions on. And I do try to have SWOI occasionally too

Jbrd, I understand how frustrating it is when your DH is less committed than you are with lifestyle changes. I realised early on when we were ttc our DS, that DH wasn't going to go the extra mile. He would take the sups if I handed them to him and said, "take these", but I couldn't get him to stop drinking his beloved red wine nor stop him having the occasional smoke (which really upset me). In the end I just had to accept that I was doing my best and I could encourage him, but had to draw the line at nagging and feeling frustrated. I sympathise.I doubt that his heart isn't in it, more that he feels that it will be okay no matter what he does. I do think men have a touch of the "I'm invincible" about them.

Jass, I really understand where you are coming from. I think,having early miscarriages, every new day that you get with a pregnancy is to be celebrated. I am so hopeful that this one will be your THB.

Well, it is the night after DD's ball. She did scrub up well - looked very pretty. I now wish I'd put something nice on and did some teacher duty at the ball so I could have seen her with her friends, but it was her night and she didn't really want her parents there.

So, that's another milestone. As I was driving home, I did wonder, how strange would it feel,if I did get pregnant again, and have a THB, and would be driving them to their school ball at the age of a grandparent (I'd be 65 !!!). It's a weird thought, but I think I'll be a young 65 (I hope).

Green, i am not disciplined, I just prefer to have some more days of this pregnancy really:-)). after more than ten pgs which only lasted max 10 days before I had to face it was over this is so much better, this long hope which still might result in a baby:-)