Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

I could be wrong stubborn, don't let me bring you down. I just remember reading something about it being a bad plan as it can speed up the peri/full menopause.

I'm wondering if there are any vitamins if supplements that can help bring down FSH. I have yet to google that!! surprising since i google everything else

I kind of had the 3 day test in mind- for your FSH levels.

Oh dear, I was hoping that the next step for me would be Clomid, I didn't know that about bringing menopause on.......Mind you, despite having misgivings about my cycle, I'm not officially in perimenopause. And you might not be either! There are plenty of women in their 20s/30s on other TTC threads whose cycles are weirding out, too.....

Thanks stubborn, I remember you from the clucking birds thread, I posted occasionally.

Amazingly the nurse at my doctors surgery actually said she would do the 21 day test for me after two doctors saying no. The only thing is I don't really want it now lol.

I don't see how it's going to help to know my Progesterone is bad - which I'm sure it is. My understanding is every road leads back to IVF and I would need to fund that myself. Clomid isn't recommended for women in peri- menopause at it can bring the menopause on quicker, so to my mind there is little a fertility clinic is going to offer when infertility is linked to age.

I am happy to be told different though!

Hello! I have been lurking for ever, but thought I might as well pop my head up and be counted now- I have been 40 for about 6 months, and TTC for 8. I've been spending a lot of time on the "Old birds" thread.....

I've had some tests- day 3 came back all normal- day 21 (progesterone), however, a bit too low- 28.5 on the first test, 23.9 on the repeat. I've been temping, so know I'm ovulating, but perhaps not ovulating well enough, IYSWIM. DP's all normal- super sperm, yadda yadda, so now I'm waiting on an ultrasound, and trying to wear my GP down into giving me a referral to a ferility clinic.

Just thought I'd try to answer newera. Sorry you've been having an awful time.....I found the Taking Charge of Your Fertility website useful: www.tcoyf.com ;-it's linked to the book, and has loads and loads of useful info for cycle obsessives on its forums. Certainly, they say that some creamy (shiny?) CM is normal in the 2ww- apparently you can get a mini oestrogen surge in the luteal phase. I thought a longer LP was good, no? (Mine has been 11, 9 and 10 days over the last 3 cycles ). Perhaps time to go and get some blood tests?

Hi girls, I'm new to this thread but not TTC I'm afraid. I'm trying to try but not try as I have a beautiful two year old son and two miscarriages behind me this year and as you can imagine, my head is well and truly fried. So I have got rid of the opks and clearblue monitor and we are just having sex.

I'm trying to gauge my fertile window using EWCM and cervix position. I think in the last year I have plunged into peri-menopause as I used to ovulate day 12/13 and have a 12/13 day LP. Now I seem to ovulate day 10/11 and have a 13/14 day LP. I assume because my FSH levels have risen. I haven't had any FSH testing done but it makes sense to me as I get shiny cm on the toilet tissue a lot through the month, particularly the second week of the 2ww, so I think my oestrogen is already kicking in before my cycle even ends.

I am trying to stay positive but it's really difficult.

Oh god, my DD used to wake us up if she had a bogey too.

Thanks for the link, Fireflies, will see what the cost of up to date testing is. My acupuncturist is rather tenacious and I think she'll insist on them.

Agreed that the DH/DP angle is a tricky one, I want a baby much more than DP, so getting him to agree to acupuncture is going to be a delicately trodden path. Can't imagine his reaction to me suggesting he wanks into a mooncup.

It's painful trying to get stuff done on the NHS at our age, isn't it? We tried to get IVF on the NHS. We were willing to pay, but it took us a year to find out that it would cost exactly the same as going privately. Shortly after that they raised the age limit so we would have qualified for free treatment... (The price of IVF is way over and above what it costs clinics and it seems the NHS feels justified in charging the market price.)

I can't remember what tests I had before doing the IVF Awomb, sorry. AMH is one of them though. I could do with knowing what they are again as I think I probably ought to have them repeated. This might help a bit: www.infertilitynetworkuk.com/uploaded/Fact%20Sheets/Investigations%20into%20Infertility.pdf

That Stork thingie seems to have some kind of syringe type insemination device, doesn't it? I haven't really studied it. If you look upthread though you'll find some elated chat about successful conceiving using a mooncup.

Grizzer how old is your DD? She wakes you up because she's got a bogey?! OMG, that is hilarious. I hope you are noting that to tell her BFs when she brings them home??! Thanks for the marble tip. I will see if it helps. I know it's only a phase, but it's going to be a tough one to get out of as he seems well set on this type of behaviour, and I am surprised by how worse it's got over the summer. One theory is this form of aggression is related to the child establishing its' place in a hierarchy. It makes sense with what DS is doing. Initially he was only biting when he wanted a toy another child had. He starts the minute we arrive too. I think he was also doing it the other day because he didn't want to be at the music class I'd taken him too. I have a neighbour who's DDs have monumental meltdowny tantrums that the whole street can hear (even at age 5), so I am trying to tell myself I am lucky not to have that to deal with.

Freaky stuff from your psychic, Grizzer. I am tempted to pay her a visit so long as she tells me something similar. I would pay good money to hear the same!! [grin} I am keeping my fingers crossed for you that she is right.

I was good on Friday and didn't go to the pub, but went to bed early instead. Felt pretty depressed yest too, with all the same stuff as I mentioned before, and was being bothered by neighbours too. DH went and got me some Prosecco which was nice of him. I just managed to stop myself quaffing too much so only have a mild hangover. The sun is shining today so feeling a bit better. Currently sticking my head in the sand though, as when looking for stuff on tests to post came across chart which clearly shows conception rates for women aged 45 is only 5%. Must get DS weaned then we can have a go with that frostie.

Another essay from me today too!! Time for brekkie and a trip to the pool. Hugs to all.

Sorry me again! Just read back a bit & just sending you an unmumsnetty hug too cloud. It's hard to talk to our dh's because, even after all this time, I don't think they realise how much TTC/pregnancy/loss takes it out of us as they don't really feel anything until the baby comes. He has lost your babies too though & he may really love to talk to you about it but maybe doesn't want to raise the subject either. They don't like to see us hurting so just avoid talking about it. Hope you're feeling ok x

FF count me in on that pint of prosecco (each obviously). I think a lot of kids go through the pushing/biting phase. I might be naive but I don't think they realise it hurts until someone does it back. I guess, as we generally don't behave that way as adults, we grow out of it.... I'm doing a 'marble in a jar' thingy for dd at the moment as she wakes me up about 3 times a night to tell me her covers aren't right or she's got a bogey! She has to collect marbles for not calling out for no real reason & then can have a treat. Maybe something like that might work with your ds? Perhaps a marble for every 10 minutes he plays nicely without hurting anyone. Keep it achievable at first - maybe he only needs 3 marbles & then can have a small toy or something & gradually increase them. If all else fails just double the prosecco intake
Hope you're feeling better Awomb, the first day of AF is always gutting. I can't help with tests I'm afraid. I went to gp & was told to go private, went private & was told to ask my gp! Really useful.
As for me, some of you may remember dh wanted to give up TTC at the end of the summer as he was concerned about my age (we've already had a downs pregnancy that ended at 18 weeks). However, he hasn't mentioned it for a while & tonight talked about next months TTC so hopefully we have a bit longer in us! Crazy I know but I went to see a psychic a month or so ago & she was very accurate about a lot of stuff, including random stuff about a new carpet in dd's room (I'd had someone measure up the day before) & the 3 white shelves with toys on in her room where the toys keep falling over (it's true & very annoying but she said my dad is doing it because he thinks it's funny!) weird I know but I found it very nice. Anyhoo she said how did I feel about another baby because she thinks I'm going to conceive in oct or nov. Haven't told dh because he thinks it's all rubbish but was hoping to squeeze those few extra months out of him!! I'm not pinning my hopes on it but I think it will give me a natural deadline of Christmas because I will have gone 18 months with no pregnancy at all by then & I think that is a definite sign to appreciate my gorgeous dd & leave it at that!
Well, that was a bit of a rambling essay! Time for bed I think. Everything ok Gum? haven't heard from you for a while xx

We got the tests done on the NHS, but they're a year old now, it took 7 months between tests and us getting the results thanks to endless cancellations, and then 5 months of dithering.

I've just started having acupuncture, and the practitioner has asked for my test results, is anyone able to clarify exactly what results I should have? Is it called AHM or something? Need to ask for a new print out and want to check I have everything.

That Stork thing appears to be a cap, for £99!!!!! It's got me thinking, though, if it increases conception rates by getting the fellas right in there, would a normal cap work?

BTW, has anyone seen this: www.thestorkconception.co.uk/ ? Just remembered seeing it in Superdrug the other day.

Been good and haven't bought alcohol. No cake either, just a yog and blueberries. Off to bed now. Night all. x

Welcome Awomb. I am with you on the feeling down when AF turns up. Come and moan away with us. Where did you get your tests done? I know what you mean about the IVF cost vs success. I had been thinking about doing some more (DS conceived naturally after two failed rounds), but the success rates are poor at my age (just 45). Keep willing/praying we'll get lucky.

If you are keeping an eye on your cycle then you can give yourself much of the month off from shagging. I now email DH projected fertile days for his diary!! However (and please note this, Grizzer), I have no idea if he's read it. I had better put a read receipt on it next time.

Anyone fancy nipping to the pub for a pint of prosecco? Maybe with a splash of Aperol? I am having a crap day too. DS such a lovely, happy boy and people are so complimentary about him, but with his peers he is going through an awful phase of biting, pushing and pinching. I can't turn my back for a second when I take him places. Today he made a bee-line for one of my ante-natal group's kids and pushed him over the minute we arrived. House an utter tip. I'm exhausted, and quite frankly really peed off. DS 'working' from home a lot at the moment, so contributes greatly to mess, messes up our routine, shirks sharing childcare, does minimal housework. Apparently all the mess is mine. Oh, and I have a crappy head/neckache and sore collarbone from where DS jumped on me when I way lying down the other night.

Fingers crossed for you Kiwi.

OK, I take it back about DH a little. He is trying to get the little lovely off to sleep while I sit on my arse and surf the net. (Part of the reason why I'm so knackered is DS takes ages to go to sleep at night, though generally sleeps through these days. I think the continued BF is also pretty knackering.)

Whinge over. Going to the offie. Think some may be in order.

Hi welcome to coupleof new people, pretty new myself. I have booked a scan for next weekend earlliest I could get. So just biding timeuntil then, no more bleeding sofingers crossed, feelsickbutnot vomiting, which as still worrying me, wait a dsee

Hello elderly shaggers.

I've lurked on these threads a bit, and even popped into one once (I think I had a different name). However, I'm now introducing myself properly.

I'm 43-and-a-half, DD is 4. Not been using contraception since conceiving her, although hardly going at it like rabbits. Considered IVF but thought it wasn't for us due the cost:success rate ratio.

Tests show that I've got good ovarian reserves and other figures are within normal tolerances apparently. SA shows decent numbers, but with 18% antibodies.

I'm fed up. AF here today and feeling down about it.

Hi all

Grizzer hope you don't have thrush and can get on with TTC. I don't think I ovulated because I only got 'high' readings on my CBFM's and never the 'peak' reading. Also, I didn't get any ovulation pains. At least my PMT wasn't so dire this month, but maybe I shopped that out. I need to get on Fertility Friend and start charting and start taking Agnus Castus.

DH and I have lapsed on the alcohol front recently which probably hasn't helped. Lots of bdays, DS, mine. Plus quite a lot was consumed after DFIL passed away. DH has been caning the caffeine too and absolutely won't knock off sweetners. I don't suppose singly they can be blamed, but I think it all adds up and booze.

Welcome Louise. I think I will be echoing what the others have said - being preggers in your early 40s isn't regarded as being a massive deal these days by health care providers. I pushed to get an earlier appointment and was pretty much told to 'calm down dear', 41 is young these days!! It can be worth knowing however that they are more vigilant with testing, and I believe Downs is less common in our age group than 20 somethings.

Jass hope you're doing ok. Loving your great advice generally and wealth of knowledge.

Cloud have a big unmumsnetty hug. Sounds like you could do with a bit of TLC. I wish we had a real life snug to cocoon ourselves in sometimes.

Gum how are you? How's everyone else? Time to get the munchkin's lunch. Laters.

Cloud, i do not mind being contradicted at all. of course your advice is absolutely right - do not overtest. But if someone seeks reassurance then darkening test lines are OK as far as the fifth week goes, later they are not really informative anymore anyway! Also, an early scan at 7 weeks is great for reassurance on viability, but of course it is expensive as Imunderstand you do not get them routinely in NHS system. Truth is, nothing can be done if something is wrong, in this sense of course they are pointless!

Welcome and congratulations, JaneLouise! Wishing you an uneventful and boring pregnancy.
I had my DS at 39, and there is no reason why it should not be an uncomplicated, normal pregnancy, as jass so rightly said. A lot of women are having children at that age, it's not a big deal anymore. You won't really get any more care because of your age, sorry .

There is a greater risk due to age, but there is nothing you can do about that, so you will just have to accept this - at some point, you will have to decide if/what tests you want to do, usually at the time of your 12-week scan. You might want to look into the Harmony test, if you are worried about the risk for Downs/Edwards/Patau's - a non-invasive test, where they can check for chromosomal abnormalities with almost 100% certainty. But you'll have to do this privately, and it's not cheap.
If there are no complications, then tbh, I don't see what a private scan would do to help... Sorry, I'm a bit pragmatic when it comes to scans - they are no guarantee for a good outcome and can often cause more worry than help. If there are complications, you will be offered extra scans on the NHS.

So for now, try to relax and enjoy! There are a lot of pregnancy forums here - the 40+ pregnant one has been very very quiet, but maybe you want to revive it?!

Oh, and here I am directly contradicting the lovely jass (but I know she won't mind ) - stop testing. There is no point. A line is a line is a line... No test can tell you more than that. Right here, right now, you are pregnant

Hello, everyone else! I've not been feeling great in the last few days, emotionally, and my mum visiting did not help... I'm struggling with the thought that I would have been about to start mat leave now I'm also struggling to communicate with DH about how I feel - I want him to be more involved with the whole ttc, but at the same time, don't want to put too much pressure on him either - it's bad enough me obsessing about it all the time. But I'm getting increasingly angry and frustrated with/at him... Sigh. I'm not good at starting 'difficult' conversations, never have been. I think that, deep down, I'm worried that he will turn around and say that he doesn't want to ttc anymore, and that thought scares me more than anything else.

Congratulations Janelouise, that's lovely news. There is always worry in every pregnancy but there is nothing we can do to control the outcome so try to relax & enjoy it (before the sickness, stretch marks & piles come along..... - only joking!!)
I'm sure your midwife will talk to you about any concerns you have but I don't think there's any point in a scan for a few weeks yet. Please keep popping back to let us know how you're doing.
What makes you think you didn't ovulate this month FF? This TTC malarkey is so romantic isn't it? Love the fertile emails!!
Hope you're ok Jass, we put our bodies through so much but you will cope with whatever happens because there is always that little bit of hope & belief that next time will be ok.
I'm early dpo, (trying not to count). No symptoms though, although possibly have a mild dose of thrush which I'm sure must be a symptom.....I'm obviously not thinking about it at all xx

Thank you jassS. I will be 40 on Sept 6th so I only just conceived in my 30s. I was just looking at private scans but may wait until I see midwife and when is my dating scan. I would love a 4d one later on I think.

Congratulations, JaneLouise! Of course it is Ok to be left for 4 weeks on tour own,medically. mentally, it is a different story, of course. But in fact you need nothing but remain happy about your pregnancy and just avoid alcohol and overdoing things. Do not change cat sandbox in case you have a cat, do not eat raw milk cheese or raw fish and thats about it. You have no history about any probelms with pregnancy, so it is natural to assume by the doctor that there is nothing that needs cheking out immidiately. if you can spend on this pregnancy, go get a private scan, as suggested to kiwi up the thread. There is nothing else what needs to be done and 39 is not old at all nowadays, many of us here have had a baby around 40 and are still trying for one more in mid-40ties. My last baby was born when I was 39. Good luck, and I think there is an antenatal thread for 40 plus mums, i guess you can join them even if you lack a year from full 40!

Hi I am new, I have lurked a bit while I've been TTC but now found out I am pregnant and feel like I need support and advice etc.

I am 39 years old, 40 next weekend and found out I was pregnant on Sunday. This is my first pregnancy, I was married for a long time to a guy who did not want children, eventually left him (not just for that reason) and met my current partner. He has already a 3 year old daughter who stays with us every other weekend and I love her to bits. Been talking about wanting a baby together since we first got together but started trying seriously 6 months ago. I was really starting to lose hope and thinking I left it too late. I was fertile just before we went on holiday for 2 weeks. Whilst on holiday I had an upset stomach. That was my only symptom until now, started with breast pain. On Sunday I tested positive with a cheapo test strip. I was crying and shaking but neither me or my partner was sure it was correct.... tested positive again on the Monday morning. Bought a clear blue digital test the same day and that said pregnant 2-3 weeks. At that point it started sinking in but on Tuesday I made my doctor test me again and it still said I was pregnant. I am 5 weeks and 4 days now. Wow!! But I kind of feel abandoned, apart from my doctor saying don't drink, don't smoke, eat a balanced diet and was I taking folic acid (yes for last 6 months!) that's all the advice I get. Midwife doesn't see me until week 9. I am new to this and didn't realise I was just left alone for another 4 weeks! I thought as I am older I am supposed to get more care? Am I just naïve?

I have more questions and of course I worry that everything will be ok with the baby because of my age. Hopefully I can chat to some of you about it all.

Gum you asked how am I feeling. I am oast the physical part now, healing nicely I think, some very wesk light red bleeding remains. have not bothered to test yet to get a neg hpt.
Mentally, I have a different prob to all my previous mcs - this time I actually had a baby inside, a tiny 3mm thing only, but not an empty egg. and I feel like I have lost her. For some reason I am sure it was her. I try to convince me i am stupid and illogical and there never was heartbeat - but it does not help really. Docs were very supportive about trying again - not at all reminding me about my age. and I will try again, but I am more scared about loss than I used to be. Also because I am more and more sure I do not miscarry on my own when I lose a pregnancy where beta exceeded 1000, so every try means surgical removsl afterwards..... Beurk.

MattsMama, no advice on when should you test again is going to keep you from testing every day. So, chose a nice cheap brand and stick to them. I would say if your tests stay really weak for more than a week, you are in trouble. A hcg level of barely 10 gives you a weak positive FRER. Every dumb piss stick will have some line at around 200, and you should get there within 8-10 days from first hint of a pos. Also, CB digi moves to 2-3 w around 200hcg (in urine, around 300 in blood). So. if your first frer was less than a week ago, not to worry yet. And you should get two more or less equal lines on every stick when beta reaches 1000.

Evening all. Thought I'd drop in and say a quick 'hi'. Been reading intermitently so I see we have some newbies. Welcome Hope your stay is a short one. And lots of good news and bad too...

Have sent DH an email with projected fertile day (baby making doesn't get much more romantic than that now, does it??!!), so hopefully he will put them in his diary... Hope this month is better - don't seem to have ovulated last cycle. Must have been very pre-menstrual yest though as splashed out on x2 FRERs just to stop agonising over symptoms. Wonder if Clomid would be a good idea.

Better go. DS went to sleep earlier than normal tonight so I need to make the most of a bit of extra energy to do some stuff before bed. Night all, and sweet dreams.

Hi all,

Well Im 6dpo and normally have all symptoms going.... but this month nothing!!! Not sure I like this... :(.
I know I said that I was not going to get myself worked up this month but it´s as if my body has also decided " you know what this month Im having a break".
I chart so know I ovulated. should get AF either Tues or Weds.
I had also promised DH I wouldnt say the word pregnant this month which is difficult ;( . This morning. I had a DR appointment and he prescribed medication for a month, well I had to ask, didnt I! Well DH gave me the LOOK!!!

He did agree with me afterwards though. Hope everyone is ok

xxx