Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

Hi all, I'm on cd 10 & went for acupuncture today. She put a couple of needles in my pelvic area to 'get the blood flowing to my uterus.' About 3 hours later when I went to the loo I had some spotting. Very small amount & definitely old blood but I've never had this before. Has anyone ever heard of that? Could it be the acupuncture clearing things out or is that just coincidence?
I guess I'm preparing for ovulation so could be that but it's a first for me so just curious. Hope it means acupuncture is working.
Green you made me smile with dh taking vitamin. I keep buying 'well man' for dh but might have to start wrestling him to the floor, holding his nose & forcing them down his throat for all his willingness to take them!!
JBrd hope you're ok. I'm saying a little prayer for you for tomorrow x

eh,willitbe, i hear a habitual miscarrier. it is sad to say so, but this is exactly as i have felt after the few last ones - a kind of relief that what i knew will happen has happened and i have remained sane.......i only have about 10 though. or maybe 11. Lost count, tbh. enjoy that wine and if ttc only means no birth control, i think continuing ttc is no crime:-))

Green - thank you for your kind words, I am actually at peace with it all. Having been through it 12 times before, it was actually worse in the days before it was confirmed, as I knew my symptoms well enough to know that it was possibly ending. So having it confirmed was the easy bit.

I was on med's that I need to stop, it might happened naturally in the next few days, but if not I will be requesting an ERPC. I have tried all the three options previously and whilst I prefer to let things happen naturally, with how far I am (11 weeks measuring 9) I previously have bled heavily and ended in hospital. And since I have been taking heparin and aspirin, I am hoping it doesn't start too soon or it could get messy!) So it currently is a wait and see. Tonight I am going to have my first glass of wine for months and celebrate the little brief life that was!!!!!! (I know this might sound weird but with miscarriage number 13 it just seems right for me!)

As for ttc, we were not before this pregnancy, and logically will not be again, but I have to confess that the pregnancy hormones and loss are making me want to ttc again, so who knows whether we will or not. Gum, you can probably empathise with me in this!!!!!

Ps. Sorry for the ridiculously long post!

I am so, so, so sorry Wilitbe. It is such heartbreaking newsgroup you I
hope you are doing ok in the circumstances and that you are being looked
after right now. It will be a tough time for you over the next few weeks
but it does get better, I promise. Will you be letting nature take it's
course or will you have intervention? Please come and share how you are
and how you feel,and let us support you if you wish without worrying about
bringing a downer of the thread.

Tadpole I had my AMH tested and it was 1.3 (I am 44) and despite this I
have managed to conceive twice in 8 months. Regrettably, I miscarried both
pregnancies but it didn't seem to inhibit conception. Whilst I was at my
initial appointment with Professor Regan, I asked her if the AMH score was
an indicator of ovarian reserve and/or egg quality and she said both but
then it only takes one good egg sperm combo for a successful pregnancy. I
think that there is so much that they don't understand about conception and
pregnancy for your doctor to be so definitive about it! I don't know if
it will work on my egg quality but my current TTC regime is: a conception
vitamin (currently trying 7 seas), vitamin b, d and extra folic acid, DHEA
and Co-enzyme Q10. I also take 1000mg Evening Primrose Oil up to ovulation
day. Which is ridiculous when I see it all written down! DH is on conception vitamins for men but moans about it like he is
really putting himself out by taking them, even though I buy them and dish
them out to him every morning so all he has to do is actually swallow

• jeez what a trooper! Good news your thyroid is in full working order. I

My cycle is right up the spout again after my last miscarriage. I had
hoped having a natural one would prevent the whole ovulation going AWOL
issue but that doesn't seem to be the case. The first cycle wasn't too bad
as I O'd on CD20 but I am now on CD46 and my temps are all over the place

• it hasn't helped that I did a trip to Mexico for a week (hot sun, warm

I went to my NHS appointment a couple of weeks ago and they couldn't'
really help me with anything further (except to say that I should follow
any advice Proff Regan gives as she is the expert ) They did agree to
put me on a "list" in the EPU so if when I conceive again I can just
call up and get a scan at 6 weeks and regular care and support from then on
without too much drama and paying to go privately. So I am pleased about
that . The Dr (who was depressingly very, very young and perky) whilst
encouraging and reiterated that she saw many mums in their 40's have
babies, suggested we might want to consider using donor eggs. So DP and I
are currently thinking about that and although he initially said he
wouldn't consider it when we first started TTC, since the two miscarriages
I sense a softening in that area. Has anyone else had the discussion with
their OH's? Considered this? I recalled Isabelleron this thread had
donor eggs and was having twins - has anyone heard from her recently?

Grizzer good work on joining the gym. I read somewhere that one of the
reasons it is more difficult to conceive in your forties is that we dont'
have the sex lives of a twenty something (though god knows we try!) Being
all fit and toned can only help you feel better/look better and more likely
to behave like a twenty year old in all respects

Jbrd- good luck tomorrow, I have everything crossed for you, literally

willitbe I am so sorry for your loss. How sad for you.

willitbe I am so sorry to hear your news, that's just too cruel .
Thinking about you xxx

Tadpole, these numbers are not indicative of your fate. many docs even do not do it, because they are just not reliable. The progesterone though, what tou did not get tested, would be worth knowing, because first, it can make or break a pregnancy and second, lack of it is treatable. To glean any info from this number you would need to know how it was 5 years ago for you.

Willitbe, desperately sorry for you and really sad...having seen the heartbeat one would think you are more or less out of the woods - and then this to happen.... I only hope the inevitable is now quick and physically easy. Truly sad......

So sorry Willitbe please don't apologise for a downer, it's so important to share & talk things through with people. I hope you are getting all the support you need xx
Tadpole sorry I can't answer your question. I suppose 'it's not impossible' is small hope. Did you request that test or was it offered to you ? I'm not sure I want to know..... Did they offer anything further after telling you that?
How are things Morien? My fertility appointment is next Wednesday. Quite excited about it but have neglected to mention to dh how much it costs. I'm hoping it doesn't occur to him to ask until after it so then it's done & there's no point in discussing it. Ha ha such good logic.
I joined the local gym today (registered by very pregnant, very young woman - not jealous at all....) in the belief that being fit & toned will help me get pregnant! If not, I will feel better in my fancy frock at the 2 weddings I've got this year x

Oh my God willitbe. OMG.
Big hug. Really very, very sorry to hear.
It's not a downer. Just a very sad reality we fear despite our endless hopes.
Thinking of you.
xxx

Hi, sorry for popping in, this is just a message for old mates of mine on here (most of whom now lurk rather than post!!!) anyway, just to let you know that our shock surprise pregnancy is no more, heartbeat has stopped and now waiting for the inevitable. Don't want to bring a downer on this thread, but just needed to let my friends here know.

Hope all of you here now get as much support as I did when I was here years ago, and that you get your pregnancies and babies soon. (including the lurkers!!!!)

Hi, thanks for the welcome. My af arrived the next morning. Always in the past I've known when I was pg, and I really didn't think I was, but I get so intensely bonkers when af doesn't just come. I think I might return to pg testing regularly as I know I can handle it now, whereas earlier on in ttc a bfn was really hard to take. As for having taken the sneaky time off I do feel better for it!

Hi all!

I got some test results. So the bloody doctor didn't test my progesterone. But my Thyroid levels are perfect. Now the bad news. AMH 0.2.
I knew whatever they are they will be low because at 42, well, what else would they be, as you said, JBrd. But I have no comparison as to the levels of other 42 year olds so I don't know to panic or not.
He did say that it isn't impossible to conceive naturally but that it would be very hard. (As if I don't know that by now!).

So what does this all mean, really?
xxx

Jass, that made me laugh!

All the best Morien - how exciting! Hello to all those I know and welcome to those I don't.

Morien, going to 42in Belgium is a heroic act in itself! all the best and hoping induction will not be needed!

Sparkly....welcome to the cheerleading team!!!
morien ...almost here!!! Excellent!

jbrd sending hugs and offering my hand to you as you also looked after me when I was panicking in my last pg.

Xxx to all and keep dtd!! :)

Hello Morien! Very happy to hear all's well and that you're waiting! Positively psyched! Never you mind MIL. Seriously. We seem to be in a time where few really natural births happen. Mind, I have nothing against painkillers but if your doctors are happy letting you wait than no one has the right to intervene!
Good luck! And please keep us updated.

Hi sparky! So happy you're enjoying your babymoon. You lucky thing!

Hey pancake How's it going today? Feeling better?

Grizzer Sorry you're freezing! That is the one thing I can't take. Being cold. But I suppose most people don't like it.

As far as AF is concerned, still nothing. I'm on cd30 today. God do I miss my regular 28 days cycle! The mc changed all that. And, every month there is a new symptom. Last month the nausea got so bad that I tested. Now this time (warning - tmi) so much discharge.
I've been walking around with a tampon in my bra (yesterday) and thankfully in my pocket today. Not going to over-think this. Just another tease.

But I am going to have at least two glasses of wine should AF show up on Friday.

Welcome to the new people - hope you get as much support from this thread as I have. And that you don't stay for too long

Tadpole thinking of you - an EDD without another pregnancy is really hard. I remember feeling utterly desolate this time last year, and it was only the lovely people on this thread that really understood that. My EDD (from my MC) was yesterday, actually; I did think that there'd be a certain kind of symmetry if LO were to be born that day, but it wasn't to be.

Fiatlux at this stage I don't think the GP can know any more than you do, so I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

grizzer is it today you're going to the fertility clinic? Let us know how you get on. I went to see a fertility specialist this time last year, and I found that it did me a lot of good psychologically to talk to someone pro-active and positive who was willing to help me. DH and I were both tested extensively and there was nothing 'wrong', but the specialist was still willing to help me in view of my age (40 at the time). In the end I got my BFP naturally on the cycle before I was due to start IUI - and I do wonder how much that psychological boost helped.

Hello sparkly! How are you, DD and LO? No news from me yet...but I'm being induced on Monday if nothing happens before. I'll be 42+1 then - my gynaecologist said she could see no reason why I shouldn't wait, as long as I saw a midwife for monitoring every couple of days from 40 weeks. She also told me that I was 'very brave' to opt to do that, not because she thinks it's medically unsound, but because so many people around me were going to tell me it was dangerous...and she was right (particularly in a country like this, where I get the impression that everyone requests induction even before they hit 40 weeks - and most gynaes impose it as a matter of course). I'm avoiding MIL and SIL completely as I really don't need to be told yet again that I'm stupid (MIL told me recently that I shouldn't have any views about childbirth as this is DC1 so I have no idea what I'm talking about. I let it go - I have the happy hormones to thank for that - but I keep sniggering to myself about what she would think if only she knew, because in actual fact I haven't said much at all about what I want. She'd be apoplectic if she knew about the hypnobirthing, the doula who's going to be at the birth, the ante-natal classes (they don't do those in Belgium so I had to drag DH to expat-run ones), the pregnancy yoga...)

Just popping to see if there's any news from morien, it's all very exciting. I haven't forgotten you lovely, supportive ladies, I just haven't had much chance to MN lately, but want to stay on the cheerleading team!

I hope this one sticks JBrd. Irish, can't believe you're so far along. I managed to hold out til almost 41 weeks for my induction, but I think if I'd seen the consultant rather than a doctor at 38 weeks he might not have let me do that. Calibee, great you've got an exciting new job, do tell us about it.

All ok here, DD2 is nearly 6 months old (already) and lovely, DH still struggling, but trying and DD1 still loving her baby sister!

Hello to diege, gum, jass, notsoold, green, and may everyone trying for their sticky BFP get one soon.

Hello all, how is everyone doing?
JBrd thinking of you. I hope Saturday brings good news but I'm sure it feels like a lifetime away.
Pancake I would be very tempted to test but try to hold out for a couple more days. Do you feel AF at all? Fingers crossed for you. TTC makes all of us insane at times so don't beat yourself up over these feelings. Try not to let them take over your life though. I must admit, getting pregnant is on my mind 24/7. I'm always working out how pregnant I'll be for that summer wedding or where I'll be at Christmas if I'm about to give birth etc. ridiculous but so hard not to think about it.
Hope you're ok Tadpole. Any sign of AF yet?
We're at sister-in-laws in NI at the moment. Their house is freezing so haven't managed to remove my many layers to dtd this week! CD7 though so not panicking yet. Another month to wish goes by quickly.....

Thank you so much for your responses - I googled my antibiotic and it's nitrofurantoin and okay for early pregnancy. And I feel a bit less down about the dr saying I'm not pg - what would she know?! Will just have to wait and see.

Really nice to have your support :)

Oh Tad, sorry you are facing the EDD without a new pregnancy!

JBrd, i know unfortunately exactly how you are feeling and hence i am not capable of confidently saying all will be OK. but i seriously hope you will see a nice strongheartbeat on saturday.Will be watching this space then! if not, please go and check out the immune issues w doc Quenby. But I so hope it will not at all be necessary!

Welcome flat, pancake, Flat, check your AB via google, if it is penicilline-line AB, you can take them when pg. and of course a test 6day before AF is not at all informative. pancake, do that test for peace of mind unless you want to keep on hoping for some days longer. I know i would but I can not - every bfp means medication, so every chemical is registered here.

Hi and welcome pancake and Fiatflux

pancake I'm so sorry for your losses. Don't feel too bad about a day of some tlc for you. I was just on the mc thread and was writing about my mc last year. A good cry.

fiatflux I've been waiting to escape for almost a year too! Hope the wait is short. Last year when I wasn't sure I also requested an Antibiotic which is pregnancy safe. (also a UTI).

Today I was thinking of how at times I was delighted when AF arrived! Can you imagine. Now I feel like putting a clamp on the uterus.

My EDD is coming Saturday. And the week is already so long.

Today the pg lady at work came into the kitchen while I was warming my lunch. Didn't much feel like eating after that. I was a few weeks ahead of her. Her belly! I feel so robbed.

JBrd Good luck, my dear. I can only imagine the panty watching. Big hug and will be thinking of you.
xxx