Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3931aa

i can not see the link still, so i can not look at it but am not temping meself so would not know the head from tail of it :-)

Sorry wrong link !
www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3931aa

[url=www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3931aa]My Ovulation Chart[/url] Hi can anyone have a look at my chart please? Many thanks!

So sorry for what you're going through Mozza I am with Jass and the level of detail we are now given during pregnancy. With my first scan I was told dd was downs or had Edwards syndrome & would die at birth. We were put in a room & told to think about termination. Dd is 4 on Friday & has absolutely nothing wrong with her, physically or mentally. I still look at her & think I could have aborted her if I'd listened to medical advice.
Sorry dp is not supporting you either. I agree with the others, you are absolutely doing the right thing not getting dd a passport. Not only does it sound highly suspect that he wants to take her away for so long, I think she will feel very rejected to have a new baby come along & then she's sent away. You will need the joy & happiness a 2 year old brings around you when the new baby comes. She will love to be involved & that's how they will bond.
Please stay around & use us to vent & shout when you need to xx
I'm interested in this agnus cactus too tadpole how does it help? If my periods are regular do I need it?

it is chasteberry or correct latin name is vitex agnus castus, i got it online. i just did not fancy going to the only naturopathic pharmacy i know in luxembourg

Oh Morien! Baby M sounds like an angel. Is it bad that right now I just crave nuzzling the neck of a baby and enjoying that sweet smell?
So very pleased for you.
Yes, that is love. You think you know it and then....

I need to get some agnus cactus or whatever it is called. Is it something I can get from a Pharmacy?

Oh mozza I have to apologise for a seemingly 'empty' post in light of your news. I was posting from my phone and am horrified to find I didn't see the whole last page.

Honestly, I read the first post and panicked (doing a lot of that lately). But I immediately have to think of how often there are women on the telly crying their eyes out because their children were taken to Tunisia or Turkey or China and never returned!
I sincerely hope I'm reading the situation wrong but it sounds like emotional blackmail. Have a perfect baby and I stay. Have a possible 'problem' baby and I not only take your 'perfect' baby but I will also punish you for going against my wishes.
I have to say, this could very well just be my past experiences. I've survived a very, very bad case of emotional abuse.
So please don't take it the wrong way. But I am worried. And you are right to be too. Follow your instincts on this.
So sorry about the news. But also, as you say, at this point is isn't a 100% done deal. In German they say hope always dies last.
Big hug.

morien, if you feel like it, you could write your birth story. here, it would be so good to read how it went! And indeed, grey-haired pg women is so common in belgium, Netherlands, france that the doctors are not so ageist here:-)
First children tend to come down long and are hard work to have, and including your hip issues it certainly could not have been that easy, but you did it, and that is important!

Mozarella, I am so sorry you are going through this alone without support from your husband. I guess we are also dealing with really different cultural issues here? This may have an effect on dealing with disabilties or even potential disabilities. As things are, I would certainly not allow departure with big sis, you need the children to bond from the start, and i would use this as my motivation, not the fear of him going and staying away with DD. I hope DH will come around when the baby is here, and i still hope it can be relatively OK. The cc and also ciliopathies have so wide spectrum that it might turn out almost OK still, i hope it will....maybe you can travel with baby and DD in few months time, it is still possible that the baby will not be severely disabled. sometimes i hate modern technologies - previously you would have had this baby at term and then it is far easier to accept as it is just fate. i have myself a son who has slight physical disabilties and I absolutely know had I known 21 years ago of his disabilities i would have aborted him. But he is an independent, clever and kind young man, his disabilities do not keep him from doing anything apart from playing piano perhaps (he has 4 fingers and 3 toes on both hands/legs). lack of ultrasound in 1993 in my country prevented me from aborting him......

Forgot to say - I wanted to tell you about the 3 conversations I've had this week about contraception, one initiated by my gynae, the others by my midwife, because I think it's encouraging for everyone on this thread.

I'm 41, 42 in July, and throughout my pg I had standard, not age-related, ante-natal care (I'm in Belgium). In fact nobody ever mentioned my age (other than in the context of advisability of amnio/Harmony). And now I'm getting the standard contraception treatment, including things like, 'the coil you'd leave in for a couple of years and then you could think about having it removed to have another baby'. In other words, at least in theory there's no reason for a 43/44 year-old woman not to plan to have a child. I know most of us on this thread know it's not that easy (and I guess my gynae & midwife do too), but I love the way I'm not being written off in terms of fertility by the medical profession. And if I'm not, then nobody here is, either

Mozzarella The on-going worries about your baby's health are more than enough to cope with, without adding all this from your DP. Leaving aside any possible bad intentions on his part re your DD, I'd be utterly unable to cope without my DH right now...and for a month!

Thanks for your good wishes and congratulations, everyone. DD is well, back above her birth weight...and she's just wonderful. I honestly wasn't prepared for how much I love her.

Her birth was quite difficult for us both (for reasons not linked to my having gone to 42 weeks/her being over 4kg, despite mutterings of 'I told you so' from the ILs). I wanted as physiological a birth as possible, minimum intervention, or intervention only where medically necessary - I ended up with just about every possible intervention short of a C-section, all medically necessary. I was and am so glad I stuck my neck out and went back to my old gynae mid-pregnancy, because I trust her and knew that she was trying to respect my wishes - so if she said something was necessary I didn't even have to think about it; I was just able to agree. She told me afterwards that she rarely attends such a complicated birth (and that I was 'extremely brave' ) So for a while it turned into something quite traumatic - but again, I was so glad to have this particular doctor; she did what was medically necessary but she did it with her usual human warmth and compassion, going well beyond the call of duty. She rubbed my feet, held my hair out of the way while I was sick, held my hand... As some of you may remember, she's the lady we bought our lovely house off, and it felt very special and quite moving to bring our baby home to this wonderful, warm, caring lady's old family home.

well jbrd you understood right.. In the past he actually threatened to do so if I didn't terminate and in the current pregnancy he actually suggested to stay with my DD while I would keep the baby.. I can't say how serious he was, but it was enough to scare me.. I still think he could bond with this baby when she is born, I know he is really scared with the idea to raise up a disabled child but maybe it will be different when he actually meets her.. However I can't be 100% sure about what he could do if he goes alone to china with DD and listen to all the suggestions of his family which are against my choice.. therefore I won't allow him to have the passport for DD.. Am I right?
I feel guilty about that as I know how much he wants to let DD meet his family, she hasn't been there yet.. If the baby was ok, we had planned to go all together when she is about 3-4 months but now it doesn't seem so easy..
Hard times.. luckily I am on maternity leave now.. so job-related stress is over, I'm continuing to work from home on some statistical research about breastfeeding and preterm babies to keep me busy and I enrolled a swimming class for pregnant women..
hugs to everybody!!
Really glad to hear from hopeful and diege too!

Hi and welcomewish and MelMc!
Congratulations too, wish! How far are you?
What is this cactus stuff?
jass, you take it too, what for exactly except to regulate AF? And can I get it online? I might need help as I now have spotted before a few times & last month I was on for a whole wee, instead of three days.

Hi JBrd! How are you doing?

Have a good one, ladies!
Xxx

I am probably wrong but he wanted to do the same last time if I didn't terminate and even this time he suggested once I keep the baby and he keeps DD..So it's really hard.. I told him I wouldn't let him do the passport for dd for now even if I understand how much he Cates to let her go to China since she never met his family...
I am sorry for the long update

Hello ladies I am sorry I haven't been here for a long time...
First of all many many hugs congratulations to Morien and her baby!! Congratulations also to jbrd for this new pregnancy.. I hope you will gave the money back so you can do the harmony...I've not been here because this pregnancy is becoming really hard.. I am now 29 weeks+4 ..The MRI confirmed hypoplasy of cc and enlarged liquor spaces in the brain as last time.. Hence drs assume it's an hereditary condition..they reviewed all the problems of last time baby and reported some additional problems she had I didn't know concerning brain liver and uterus! Based on these findings they have told both babies could have a pathology belonging to the group of ciliopathies which are very heterogenous but quite severe conditions some of them life shortening and threatening...
So we are obviously very worried..the only positive thing is for now not all these issues have been found in my baby (but some of them were just found through autopsy last time) so it's still an hypothesis even if quite realistic..moreover last time baby had a chromosome issue this baby doesn't have..
So it's really very complex.. I will have another MRI on march 27..I am really sick ofcdrs, visits and US..
My do still disagree with my choice.. We had a discussion because he would like to bring my DD1 to China shortly after the baby is born for at least one month while I stay here with the baby which I think is just nonsense as DD1 has been without her mummy just once for a few days when she was 8 months..now she is 2 and an half and is very attached to me..when back she would kill her baby sister out of jealousy wouldn't she?
Also I am worried he wouldn't bring her back..I am probablyvwrong

Jass I tried one month of ac and vit B in December and had the perfect cycle and af. I then moved in January and forgot to take them everyday, so stopped and decided to carry on with my next cycle.... Im still waiting ! I have had ovulation pains all month it seems too. I have done numerous tests all BFN, so I will take your advice and just start them again and see what happens. Thank you! I,m not sure how to post a link to my chart on ff.

wishing, congrats and indeed, there are those who swear you need keeping taking ac until 12 weeks to keep the progesterone balance tou got out of it. coq10 can not have that effect, so this may be discontinues now you have found that egg that made it, it is supposed to help with egg quality. Unfortunately for ac you have to go by your instinct,a s no definite position on that!

Mumalah, sorry about the missing AF. The same ac may help you there as well, have you been trying it? Supposedly reflexology and accupuncture might help to bring it on, but going to your doc and yelling for help might also help to get drugs to bring period on. Of course the risk is doc will say at your age ..... etc. an not give you drugs....

Ok thanks for that diege, I've read conflicting advice, because id had a few cycles where I didn't ovulate, and odd length cycles etc, I was worried that stopping them may mean my hormone levels wouldn't be strong enough to prevent miscarriage. I suppose time will tell on that one anyway....

Hi just popping in to say hi and congratulations to the newly pregnant ladies. I'm still waiting for af. on cd57, this has only happened once before last year. I have no idea what is going on. Im not sure if i even ovulated. if i can post my chart would anyone look at it?. Many thanks ladies!

Hi all. Am new to this. 41 and we've just decided to try for a baby. Hub is 43. We both have kids from previous relationships. Been married 3 years and didn't think we wanted any more kids but had a change of heart. Hopefully not too late! My cycle is just trying to get back to normal after being on pill. Stopped it at xmas last year. Anyone had similar experience? Nice to meet you all :-D

Just a quicky to say wishingfor that the general advice is to stop agnus castus when you find out you're pregnant. Congrats btw!
Big wave to everyone else - dd3 off sick so just a quick hello xxx

Welcome wishingfor and CONGRATULATIONS! We love a success story on this thread :)

Sorry I haven't got any practical advice but lots of the other lovely ladies I'm sure will have.

Hello may I join you all on here, I've just discovered I'm pregnant and I'm 44, im now stressing about the fact that I was sure I was perimenopausal, and had been taking agnus castus, coQ10, flax seed oil, and don't know if I should continue with any of these, or stop taking them?
Does anybody know what's the best thing to do?

No, I am not stopping ttc in this sense that I would through out ttc gear and go on pill. Not at all. I just feel so much more relaxed about it all. If it will happen ,it will happen, She is only 19 years younger than me so She has always known it may go this way that my last will be born after her first, it is not an issue at all. I just simehow feel like all the worry and hardness of ttc has lifted from my shoulders, because it is OK as it is. I am still taking agnus castus and vit b6 and it has given me periods like I had when I was young - proper flow starting rather suddenly, almost no spotting beforehand, period pain and a complete 14 day LP with a 26 day cycle. I feel if anything can change the fate of my ttc it is this. And I will not take pred when I fall pg, as it has shown several times it is not working at all. Might also stop progetserone in the LP for this cycle and see how LP will be without that, but with agnus castus and b6. Progesterone did not fix my cycle, but since ac is a soft hormonal balancer it seems to have dome so for some reason. As I have no spotting anymore before period that might mean it is also helping with my diffuse adenomyosis, as I have that, as quite many women with a number of children do. So I am still hoepful, but I do not want to medicate that much and I will not be testing early next cycle, only if I miss the period:-)