Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

Another de-lurker here. I am 42 next month, have a 7 yr old adopted daughter and a 20 mth old miracle after 15 yrs of ttc. MC end of dec. Now 6 + 1 pregnant! Nervously optimistic! Is there a 40+ antenatal thread? Can't seem to find it! I had lost 4 st ....got down to 10 from 14 and hubby started to cycle to work. These factors seemed to be key for us for our first miracle. Kept at a sensible weight, took supplements and kept fit for No. 2. Good luck ladies and please let me know if there is an antenatal thread for us.

Yay Christmasbaby !! So glad you are de-lurking and joining in on the madness!

I like your approach. It is a good idea to take it one day's worth of goals at a time. I will start with my daily goal list tomorrow morning, as it is night time here and I need to cook dinner. But I will take my folic acid, prenatal multi, fish oil, coq10 and Vit d with my fish and vege. I really feel like a rhubarb crumble, but I don't know if I can muster up the energy...

Lindamagoo - good luck with the 2ww - try and remain optimistic I'm sure it helps. It is so hard though I know x

Squidgy - sorry about AF showing up - It is such a horrible let down and massive disappointment when it happens. I'm half expecting mine any day and dreading going to the loo - pathetic I know but I can't help it : (

Gum - your acupuncturist sounds lovely and fingers crossed you'll be back in that pool very soon : )

I tested again this morning - negative so trying to remain realistic but optimistic at the same time if you know what I mean. Just want this 2ww wait over now though - it really is the quick route to insanity if your not careful!! Have a lovely weakened ladies whatever you are doing xx

Hello! I am a long time lurker and sporadic pm sender. Decided to allow myself to become totally TTC obsessed this month. Been fighting obsessing for some time now at almost 44 feel time is running out. Going to renew my efforts for a PLB! Today will drink less coffee, have a big walk, take pregnacare and extra folic acid, avoid chocolate and sugar, try to massage self, take evening primrose oil and set up some ovulation tracker. CD 1!

So sorry wishingfor. I know exactly what you mean. It is just so awful to think you are so many weeks and to be told the baby stopped growing earlier. Although I didn't want to lose this pregnancy, it is much easier to lose it at 4+3 than 10 weeks.It is way too much time getting attached.

Squidgy, sorry to hear it wasn't your time. Keeping track of when you ovulate, if you can, really does help with peace of mind, especially when cycles aren't always perfect. Traveling can definitely make a difference to your cycle - and it is the delay of ovulation that makes periods late. Unless, of course, you hit the jackpot and get pregnant

I had acupuncture last night and my lovely acupuncturist was so sweet about my latest pregnancy. She's very "woo", and when I told her I'd dreamt of twins, she asked lots of questions (wondering if maybe I'd lost a twin and was still pregnant), but I am not, I tested yesterday to be sure before having acupuncture. She also said that my "spirit" baby is obviously trying to get through but there must be a reason that it isn't happening (yes, its my crappy eggs.) She suggests I do some meditation to see if it becomes clearer to me what I need to do. She did say, however, that she didn't have the answer for me, but she'll keep "tuning" me up in an effort to keep me calm and balanced.

Anyway, the acupuncture was great, just what I needed.I felt extremely relaxed and slept so well last night. Still having vivid dreams though - dreamt of a baby again

I've got physio today for a very sore shoulder. I've not been able to swim for over a week, and that's doing my head in, I really need the water therapy to keep my head straight Hopefully the physio will have some answers so I can get back into the pool.

mattsmama there's definitely still time for a bfp for you. Fingers crossed. Linda, hang in there, try to keep busy and the tww will be over soon.

Hi Ladies,
Thanks for all your support, but, AF has arrived this evening. TBH it is exactly 14 days after i felt that ovulation pain, so I think I just ovulated late because of all the flying and jetlag...

Well now I have cracked open the pg tests, the next ones to road test will be the opk's am i addicted to peeing in a cup?

When I get the chance I will read back through the advice on this thread. I am being very philosophical about ttc a #2. If it happens, great, but I feel blessed to have my gorgeous DS.

Hello again. Hope everyone is well. It wasn't to be for me I'm afraid. I didn't think so, I started bleeding over the weekend, but at least it didn't drag on and on, I've had missed miscarriages in the past, and they are just evil, you think your weeks into a pregnancy and really it all ended ages before. This way you know where you are and can get back on the horse, so to speak!

Entering the dreaded 2ww tomorrow, after tonight we will have done all we can then it's just the waiting game, not looking forward to month after month of disappointment, I know I shouldn't think like that as it's out first month ttc #3 but I know it's what lies ahead

Squidgy - good luck with not testing for a week!! I know I could not manage that being a POAS addict and the fact frer are BOGOF at Boots at the moment. Hope you get an answer soon x

AF due Sunday but this wait is really getting to me! Obsessively symptom spotting and of course POASing! this am FMU. - BFN ! Still in with a chance though as I know it's earlyish! Trying not to build up hopes but its very hard not to! x

squidgy your DP is right to tell you to lay off the pee sticks but I'm an obsessive POAS-er myself so I'm hardly an example to all

It does sound like you're a bit all over the place this month. Still have the fingers crossed for you though.

Thanks Grizzer Glad to hear you are moving onwards & upwards.

DP has told me to lay off the test for a week and see what happens (It's a bit like crack obsessively testing every morning!!)

Gum that's really helpful advice about the late ovulation. DP and i were in separate countries for a month and DTD on day 24 of my cycle, so I wasn't expecting anything to happen. I remember feeling a really sharp pain in my ovary area about 2 days later - day 26.

I am now on day 39 of my cycle (it has never been this long; I am usually pretty regular, 28 or max 30 days), so actually only 13 days after when i could possibly have ovulated.

I am wondering if my cycle got messed up as I was in Asia for 3 weeks with DS, so all the time zones, flying and jetlag have contributed...?

I will wait till next week, then ask for a blood test. Thanks very much for the advice.

Thanks for all your kind words ladies. I think I have a long hard road ahead if I am to convince DP that this is a 'good thing'. Nevertheless he's not a quitter and I'm in no doubt about his support.

He's a SAHD currently and I honestly don't think he could do it with 2. We would need to think very, very hard about how our life currently works. There's no doubt that I'd need to go PT, and the truth is he needs to get back to work ASAP in any case. So much will change!! This is terrifying.

Sorry. Ranting on in probably not the most suitable thread. As you were.

That's the spirit Grizzer! Back on the saddle and all that....

I have an acupuncture appointment today. I'm hoping she can stimulate the ovaries to produce a nice big healthy egg just in time for ovulation next week.

Squidgy, some of those pharmacy tests are not very sensitive. The best one to use is First response (IMO). Do you know when you ovulated? Are you taking your temperature? It really can make a big difference to understanding where you are at in your cycle. If you ovulated later than usual, then you may not actually be late yet, IYSWIM?

If your AF doesn't come and you still don't get a + test, see your GP for a blood test. I have had it happen a couple of times since DS was born, and had HCG blood tests to determine what was going on. In my case I had ovulated later than usual and that's why AF was "late".

I hope in your case it is just a late implanter and slow hcg rise - in which case you will get a bfp and a lovely little baby in 9 months time.

Sorry for the disappointment Squidgy, I did the same last week, saw a faint line after the time had lapsed & got very excited. Apparently it happens because the dye dries & leaves a mark which is why a time limit is on the tests. So gutting though.
Thanks for all the tips Gum, I was going to forego my acupuncture this month but I'm going to ring her tomorrow. Going to get some evening primrose too. My amazon parcel of conceive plus & ov sticks arrived today so back on it with avengence after the disappointment of AF!!

Hi Stow, great that you told your DP. Once the LO is here he will be fine. DP has a 17yo DD and a 13yo DS. DSD especilly adores our DS, although I suspect DSS feels a bit usurped as they live in a different country to us. I am however amazed how much the birth of DS brought us all a bit closer.

Well feel like a bit of an idiot as the pharmacy test was a BFN.
But not sure what to do as I am still 9 days late, and have a few other signs that I had with DS.
DP is actually more positive than me and says wait and see.
I think I will go off and google signs of the menopause

Congrats squidgy! Lovely news, hope your second test confirms it.

As for me - well I told DP who was shell-shocked (a hand grenade is a good analogy) because he really doesn't want another. He has a much older son (17 this year) too.

He's said that he will support me whatever and that he'll be "in it 100%" but he can't really have a frank discussion with me because I know he's really not keen. As for me? Having a bit of a panic TBH! Not sure it's what I want, not sure it's right for us or our family and worrying because it's most definitely our last chance - DP getting himself doctored ASAP!

Well I tested again this morning, nothing initially, so left the test by the sink and went back half an hour later - there was a very faint second line.
So I think it may well be a BFP. Well am going to buy a better test later this morning.
Told DP; he is a bit neutral about it. Having DS was like a hand grenade going off in our relationship and 3 years later we are only just getting back to normal and he is apprehensive about it all. Also he has two older DCs so didn't feel the need for another fourth child. But I think he is pleased that DS will have a sibling closer to his age. so stow I know how you feel.

Well if it reassures older mums, I am 43 due to be 44 in the autumn. (I know I was cheered that a friend had twins with her first pregnancy at 45)

The namechange was causing a bit of confusion, so here I am, I used to be Hopefulgum and then Hufty, but back to the old me, original name: Gumblossom. Sorry for the confusion!

Grizzer, I have heard that tight clothing can increase the heat of the testicles, therefore affecting sperm production, but there's varying advice on it, some experts say it doesn't make any difference. Would DH be up for a sperm analysis? It might be enough to put your mind at ease.

You know it is probably not the case, and you are probably both fine, but ttc after age 40 can be very slow.

However, in stow's case it was very quick! Congratulations - I hope it is smooth sailing for you.

Squidgy, 8 days late, wow! Those internet cheapies are notorious for not showing positive. It does seem strange if they are supposed to be 10 whotsits (very sensitive). I know I was getting + on FRER and nothing at all on the IC's. So I would say it isn't over til AF arrives. Do you know for sure when you ovulated? If you ovulated later than normal, then you may not actually be late, IYSWIM. But if you are sure of ovulation, then being this late is a great sign. I have my fingers crossed for you.

I have been doing a bit of research (again, I am fucking incurable!) and some of the advice given to older women is that although we are born with a finite number of eggs, so we might be reaching the end in our forties and the quality may not be great, some doctors and health experts believe that it takes 90 days for an egg to "ripen" and in that time you can make a big difference to the health of the egg. One of the biggest problems as we get older is the lack of blood flow to the uterus and ovaries, so we can improve that through exercise, acupuncture, massage and taking daily baby aspirin.

It is also suggested that as we age we need higher doses of different vitamins and minerals, particularly: vitamin D, folic acid (about 10 times the recommended amount!), and of course there are many suggested alternative supplements like royal jelly, vitex, maca, DHEA and Coq10. The big IVF clinics in the US prescribe Coq10 to their patients, so I guess there may be something in it.

So,after checking the charts of over 46 year olds on fertility friend, and finding pregnancy charts of 48,50 and 53 year olds (who, incidentally were not on ivf), it seems I have renewed vigour with ttc.

I think the bfp has made me realise that it can actually happen, that it is possible that I have a good egg in there, or at least one I might be able to cultivate.

I also read that in experiments with other mammals (I guess that means rats) a lower calorie diet has a positive effect on lengthening fertility - I wonder if doing the fast diet helped in any way? I know there have been a few bfp's on that thread.But I am guessing there would be anyway. The fast days are supposed to give the body a chance to renew cells and has a rejuvenating effect (apparently) so perhaps it can make a difference.

So, I'm shoveling in the supplements again. Maybe there is going to be one good egg. Maybe not, at least I'll give it another go. I just don't want to be on this thread in 5 years time And I am pretty sure I won't be....

God,so much going on here... I am watching and do not find any words....Sorry Hopeful it did not work our for you.... Congrats JBrd that the bean is still there.... Diege, gorgeous little baby...

I am in 2ww, also away skiing inSwitzerland (alone, no family). Babyless life seems doable at the mo, I have to say....

Hope you're feeling a bit better Hufty it's always a big loss no matter what stage it happens. Have a glass of wine, some chocolate & a damn good cry - if nothing else it might help the headache!
Congratulations stow lovely news. Have you told dp yet?
It gets so frustrating doesn't it Mattsmama? I never really have symptoms but am always convinced 'this is my month!' I'm mid AF but already counting the days for next month.
Squidgy it shouldn't make a difference what time of day once you're late, it's only if testing early they say do it first thing. Everything crossed for you, you must be going crazy. I was only 2 days late this month but it was enough to convince me I must be pg. I haven't used Internet cheapie pregnancy tests but always use the cheap ov tests. I did use them alongside the clear blue smiley face one for a while & always got the same result so I think they're pretty reliable.
Crazy question from me..... Dh suffers from circulation & vein issues in legs & often wears 'skins' throughout the day. I'm starting to wonder if that might be affecting his sperm (totally his fault I'm not pregnant - definitely not mine!!). Is it worth me asking him not to wear them for a week up to my ov or is the damage done?

So sorry to hear about your news gum / hufty
congrats stow

I dip into this thread and lots of wise posters around.

I am 8 days late and done 5 cheapy tests - all BFN's so just waiting for AF (daren't hope that there is a BFP).

lots of symptom spotting - mainly heartburn - had it all the time with DS.

posted another thread asking about cheap internet tests - how many days late before you got a BFP. With DS i used pound shop ones, got a negative at 3 days and a positive at 11 days late, so i am still hopeful.

however these internet tests are supposed to be super sensitive - 10micro whatsits. (I am loath to splash out on an expensive test to be disappointed...)

Other thing i am wondering if is it the start of the menopause (I am 43...) eek! well fingers crossed I have something definitive soon - either a BFP or AF.

PS does it really make a big difference HCG levels if you poas in the morning? (I have not been doing test first thing)

Gum and Hefty - so sorry to read about your hopes being crushed - no amount of words can make the ache inside any easier. Hufty - I can really understand your feelings. Even when I had an ERPC 3 years ago - and knew there was no way I could still have been pregnant I still hoped beyond hope they had got it wrong and somehow I was. We want it so much. Really feel for both of you xx

Stow - wow! I am presuming you are very happy with this outcome? As for DP - well I don't really know what to say (except that I always maintain if a guy does not want to get a lady pregnant he knows what he should do!). Sorry that does not help at all I know! Or was he under the impression you were taking some precaution? If this is not the case then he can't really be annoyed with the outcome can he? Break it to him when he is in a good mood and after all it is a lovely piece of news! I am sure he will come round. Good luck and congratulations!

As for me, I am in the two week wait and it is torture! AF due 23rd and stupidly I have done a frer today. Negative of course. Symptom spotting all the time. To be honest I am finding it all an emotional drain and then when / if that elusive BFP does show - that is just then beginning of all the worry and stress. Why is it so easy for some people, yet so bloody hard for some of us?

Um. Feel a bit of a fraud posting on here, especially after gum / hufty's disappointing results - sympathies and ladies.

I did post about 6 weeks ago, all geared up to TTC #2 (I'm 41 in about 3 weeks) - however nothing happened first month and actually DP told me he's not keen on another. So I left this thread behind and decided to concentrate on DD.

Well here I am. BFP just now. Head is spinning and really not sure how to approach this with DP.