Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

Just a quick hi from me. Lots more good news and bad from you all... So busy! Will try to catch up with your properly soon. Congrats and unmumsnetty hugs where required. FF xx

Hi dh was a bit shocked at first thought i was talking about someone else!!,still vomiting and got to try ang get through work as dont want anyone to know yet,trying to get midwife appointment now.

Kiwi, how did DH react??

Kiwi - what wonderful news. 8 weeks!!! It's amazing and wonderful.

maria, just take a test and then you will know. I don't think I could stand the suspense. It certainly sounds like it is a possibility.

Congrats,Kiwi! Hope it continues this way!
Maria - do not torture yourself, just pee on that stick! Hope for the best!

DH and i have been trying to conceive for 5 years. got pregnant with triplets/quads through DEIVF. lost them all 10 weeks due to having thrombophilia. 2 years ago got diagnosed with fibromyalgia, spinal problem but not sure what the MRI results are yet. told i have adenymosis and fibroids. so not been trying to conceive as i thought it was not possible for me with everything going on with my health. had a hysteroscopy under general anesthetic 2 months ago and biopsy. no surgery. my periods are still very regular, 29/30 days and i do ovulate some months. last month only bled for 1 day, medium flow. never thought too much of it until nausea kicked in, boobs very tender and swollen now for over 4 weeks. sense of smell seems heightened.cant stand coffee or wine anymore. my aerolas seem wider, they have always been dark. constipation has been awful for weeks now and i am usually the other way around. too scared to take a test.

Hi well had scanat weekend, 8 weeks!!!!! Delighted but trying to be realistic. Early days. Whats next seea midwife and arrange testing?

Rant away ladies if you feel you need to! I am of the opinion that most men are like that! Luckily we have 4DC and we still fall pg, so no one has suggested my husband needs to be tested, but that would be the end of the ttc road for us! he just would not. Period. maybe if we had no kids at all, but even then I doubt he would:-)

Ouch, grizzer, yeah, that would annoy me, too! '... we should have started looking at alternatives much earlier as it's probably too late now' - what sort of lala land has he been living in?! Oh, wait, yes, the same one that my DH lives in!
At least yours is willing to make some changes - mine say 'yes' and 'of course', started taking the supplements that I am buying (some, not all of them), started lamely doing some exercise and cut back on the wine - for about a week. Now I have to remind him to book the classes at the gym, as he won't go running anymore, and he's back to having wine pretty much every night.

Why wouldn't yours do a sperm test, male pride?! Tell him that there are still plenty of options that you can pursue, one of which is him getting his swimmers tested! Not conceiving at all could definitely be linked to issues on that front... But knowing that would already help, wouldn't it?!
Men

Sorry for the rant. Temp drop this morning, and I started spotting during the day, so AF is imminent. I knew my chances were low this month, but I'm still disappointed. More due to the fact that I'll have to do it all again next month.

Ho hum ladies, Time for a rant! I am approaching my 42nd birthday & haven't conceived since April 2013. I went to a fertility clinic who barely listened to anything passed my age & said I needed ivf. I didn't really agree as I still felt I could conceive (what do I know?!) & knew dh was not up for sperm tests or anything so certainly not something as major as ivf. We would also only be able to afford one go which seemed risky. His view has always been 'if it happens it happens.' Last night, I told him AF was on the way & he came back downstairs & obviously hit mr google. Today he says to me he's going to cut down on coffee & has read certain foods that will help. He then says we should have started looking at alternatives much earlier as it's probably too late now! I'm pleased he's started to look in to things but I've been telling him for so long that cycling 100 miles a week isn't helping his sperm (& those Lycra shorts have got to go!) & he's dismissed it all as ridiculous. I'm just annoyed that he has suddenly decided he would have been interested in pursuing other methods when the reality is he was not interested at all & wouldn't even go for a sperm test! I feel like we've wasted so much time. It's all down to lack of communication but if I talked about things he worried I was obsessing so I acted all fine & dandy every time AF showed & didn't discuss anything else. I was always thinking he would say it was time to stop TTC if it was causing me to get upset. Ok, rant over. #stillannoyed

Congrats Lia! Hope the family has reacted positively!

I can't believe that attitude either Green, you have lost your baby, of course you are going to be upset! Your baby has lost their sibling & you have had time to get used to the fact you were having 2 babies & one has died. It is very sad & you have every right to feel all the emotions of a miscarriage despite your healthy baby.
Congratulations Lia. Have you told dh yet?
I'm due AF tomorrow. No strong feelings but think it's on it's way. I think the acupuncture I have has eased the initial cramps & spotting I used to get so now there is no warning.
Off for a few hours in soft play now - not as bad as it sounds. Dd runs off & plays happily with my friends ds & we drink coffee & chat. Quite a nice way to spend the afternoon xx

Gosh Green, of course you're going to be upset. I think sometimes people don't know what to say, even HCPs. Unless someone's had a MC they can't really understand how much we invest in the pregnancy and how our hopes are raised.

I wonder if in your situation them focussing on 'at least you have one' is an extension of 'at least you now know you can get pregnant', when people lose their first.

Green, I am so sorry for your loss. In spite of the fantastic news that the other baby is doing ok, it is absolutely understandable that you are sad - you have lost a baby

It must be so hard, being torn between grief and happiness at the same time - hope you're ok!
And you can have the Harmony test at any time in a pregnancy, the 10 weeks thing is just with the package that the FMC does - it's probably going to be more expensive, though...

Hello everyone else! Hope you are all ok.
I'm currently in the 2ww, 10DPO. But not holding out much hope, we only managed to dtd once during ov time... But who knows...temps are still high, and I have managed getting pg before with dtd just once...

Green, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I cannot believe the dr and nurse were so insensitive. How dare they think your other twin is compensation for your loss. I hope all will go well from here on.

Lia, congratulations!!! I was ttc when you were all those years ago. And we are the same age, so your getting pregnant is very exciting. I understand that your DH may not be thrilled, but surely he'll come around eventually? Just take things one day at a time, there's not much else you can do.

I am pretty sure I have now ovulated and though I knew that I went and had an xray on my shoulder yesterday. I would only be 1 dpo, and as I wasn't trying all that hard (only had swi once) I am not worried. I also had an ultrasound on my shoulder. Seems I have a bursitis and will have to stop swimming for a while. Which is awful as I love it so much. Sometimes getting old is depressing...I guess I will have to do some brisk walking instead, and try to keep my shoulder immobilised.

I hope everyone is ok?

Hello ladies,

A few of you might remember me from way back. I had my dd at 44, she's 3 and a half now and absolutely the apple of our eye ( as our the 5 older ones).

I'm in here looking for a little moral support as I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant with number 7. I'm 48 in 2 weeks. We weren't trying, dh is not going to be happy.

Sorry for not name checking. It's all a bit aggghh. I'm 5 weeks or so I think x

Green, do not worry about being sorry for thr other little one! What the hell, you were going for twins and you lost one - it is unfair of people to expect you to be perfectly happy with these news! Of course you will focus soon on the live one and hope the other one absorbs without any complications, but you are allowed to grieve the one you lost first!
I hope the rest of your pg goes uneventfully and you will have your baby happy and healthy in March next year!

Hi Everyone

Been off on my holidays in Florida for a couple of weeks where I became very worried as my nausea lessened considerably and my breast tenderness improved, I also had another bleed. Given where we were there wasn’t a lot I could do about it. We did consider finding an OBGYN and getting a scan but I thought if it’s bad news I am stuck in Florida and that wouldn’t be fair on anyone especially the SK’s. So I stuck it out as I had my 12 week scan booked for today. We were going to have the harmony test but we were in the US at week 10 so missed the window.

So there is good news and bad news. The good news is that one baby is in fine shape – wriggling around, waving their arms and legs and rolling over. The bad news is that we have lost the second twin – it didn’t grow much after 9 weeks and there was no heartbeat detected this morning so classified as a(nother) MMC (or fetal demise ) notched up. Now I am very happy one of them has made it but I am so, so sad about the other one. The sonongrapher was all very practical about it – saying it was very common in twin pregnancies and given my age, history of miscarriages, it was actually a blessing as it had reduced the risk of complications later on. This was the view echoed by the nurse who then took my blood and then the midwife who did my booking appointment. Well excuse me for being upset ladies even if it is true . It was if there was something wrong with me being upset - they couldn't seem to understand why I couldn’t just focus on the good news (including the nuchal measurements which look very promising) and move on . Even DP started at it until he saw how upset I was becoming – he thought it would help

So I have some lovely photos of my little bouncy one and I am praying that they stick around but I refuse to apologise for being upset about number 2 and I know you kind ladies will understand. As for resolution they are just leaving the bean where it is and hope that it will be absorbed by my body and have no impact on the live one. Fertility in your forties is not for the faint hearted is it?

Ps. Sorry for not name checking – just had to get that off my chest – hope you are all OK

Pps. for you jass. I am so sorry.

Welcome, all the new ones!
Gum, i can not really try until i at least test negative on hpt. I have been weakly positive for 5 days now. Had a really weak pos on a not so sensitive test on Sunday and hoped for a neg today. Still a pos, though less than 100 units of hcg certainly. So I sit in the limboland, no idea what my body will do now, next doc appt next wednesday, but as i have already had a cleaning out, i guess I will be told to just wait. Which is OK, I do not put a lot of hope on doing it soon again, rather see a positive in 4-6 months but with a better chance of a sticky one.

Hi everyone. Sorry I've been AWOL.

Welcome to the newbies.

I have been really busy with work/family and have been trying to keep ttc at the back of my mind. I haven't been taking sups or temperatures anymore. Trying to take a more relaxed approach. I will also skip the OPK's this month, though I will probably regret it later on when I am waiting for AF and don't know when I ovulated.

I just had a weekend away with my knitting group. It was lovely - lots of chatting, long walks in the forrest by the river, sitting by the fire and knitting, great food and wine. It was just what the doctor ordered, but now I am finding it hard to get back into the swing of work/appointments/family/busyness.... anyway, that's what I've been up to.

jass, how are you feeling? Will you try again this month? Is the bleeding finished? I hope you are ok.

Kiwi, it is good news that you are feeling sick, sounds like the pregnancy is progressing. I can't wait to hear your scan news.

Grizzer, how sad for your little student. I have a lovely girl in my year 11 class who lost her mum to cancer last year. Sometimes it is very hard to discuss certain things whilst trying to be sensitive. It does make you think about what is important, and I know I hold my children close and count my blessings.

Is anyone coming up to testing time?

It's funny, I had a dream this morning (I think I may be getting close to ovulating as I have been checking out men and weighing up if they'd make a good baby daddy - despite the fact that I'd never do anything like cheat on hubby, and only want him to be the baby daddy! ), anyway, the dream: for some reason I was talking to someone about my age and having a baby and was told that until age 56, it wasn't too late. Clearly it was a "wishful thinking" type of dream!

Wise words for you there, kiwi! Keep snacking! Have you got into the skinny popcorn around at the mo? I have! Though it's not making me any thinner

Hope work is ok grizzer. That is so sad about the little girls. Stories like that make me count my blessings. Life seems so shitty at times, but plenty others have it much worse.

Nice weather today. Had an early swim with DS and he wanted to be in outdoor pool which was lovely. And now he has gone down for a super-early nap! Long may it last!

Step away from Mr Google Kiwi, it'll only freak you out! Glad you've organised a scan to hopefully put your mind at rest but try to 'relax' til then.
I went back to work today. A girl who is starting in my class lost her mum to cancer on Saturday. So sad, she is 10 & her sister is 8. We were given some advice from a bereavement counsellor so I feel a bit more prepared on what to do & say but I feel so heartbroken for those poor girls.

Hi I have scan booked for weekend,so nervous told no one as just need to know if its evenviable. Scared myself from internet with those molar pregnancies.
Been very nauseous and vomited a couple of times, read somewhere best to eatthrough it and that does seem to help.anyway day at a time.

Ha ha oh yes, that would be me. I was sick of seeing my old username as it just had such sad connections with mc and TTC failure.

I was using the clearblue monitor but it started to give me some really weird readings where I would go straight to peak from low, or it would miss my peak altogether and stay at high. I now know that once your hormones start depleting opks and monitors struggle to be accurate so I thought fuck it, let's just go back to basics. Lots of shagging when I have EWCM and see what happens. I was SO sick of pissing on things and feeling broken.

Hangggggg onnnnn! You don't know if you have a problem with any hormone levels yet!! Deep breaths! You need to get your bloods done and THEN you can start freaking out!

(FWIW I just knew that mine would be fine, and that if there was a problem it would be something physical like polyps- ha bloody ha ).

I think I can guess your old user name- were you having problems with a v. uncooperative GP?