Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

Ahh damn it gum Just take time to absorb this disappointment though; in a few days time I'm sure you'll feel better. That bfp last month, and the continued high temps this time, do bode well though, don't you think? Your garden sounds wonderful - is the snake visitor still a problem? xxx

mattsmama, I hope you get your bfp this time.

It's not to be for me this month. My temperature dropped this morning,and though AF isn't here yet, I know she will be.

I think I am more disappointed this time than last time when I actually had a bfp and lost it. It doesn't make sense, but then, not a lot does when ttc. I feel cheated - why have those strong symptoms for two weeks only to be let down? Will I have to experience the same sorts of annoying symptoms month after month until menopause (which may not be all that far away)?

I have spent a good part of the last 7 years ttc (7 months to conceive DS, then started again when he was 10 months old, April 2009). I have always believed that perseverance is rewarded, but clearly it can't always be the case.

I have so much to be grateful for, and I am. I do realise how lucky I am to have my beautiful DS who might never have happened without three years of convincing DH to have a vasectomy reversal. So I do realise how lucky I am. It doesn't take the disappointment away though. I am sure many of you understand. I have put off many things, thinking, I will just have this one last baby first. But it isn't happening. If nothing else, I have learnt compassion for others who suffer infertility. Though I will never really know how awful it is (as I have had five children), I do understand what it is like to long for a child who doesn't come, to have you heart broken with hope and loss,and the disappointment of AF or BFN month after month.

I spent time in the garden yesterday which is good for my soul, I will spend time today planning what I will plant, getting hold of some soil conditioner, etc, then maybe go into the garden centre and pick some things up. At least I can let my nuturing spirit work in that part of my life.

Where to from here? I just wish I knew. I still don't want to give up, but it seems futile.

Gum AF due next Friday thereabouts so I am gonna try and hold off POAS till Tuesday and will probably POAs every day onwards then. Those BFNs are so demoralising though not sure if I can go through same scenario as last month : ( Also not sure if the nipples feel as tingly as yesterday so just really trying not to get too hopeful and read into every twinge (yeah right - cos that is exactly what I am doing : /

grizzer. Your update made me laugh with reference to no need for sex as not ovulating. Ha ha. Enjoy your time away. Everyone else have a great weekend xx

Wishful thinking for me I'm sure Gum. I was a couple of days late last month so might be a bit early this month to make up for it. It would be typical though - hardly dtd at all & certainly not enough around ov. Have had coffee on a drip for the last week which I would normally try not to do during the 2ww. Would be amazing to get pg under those circumstances after trying so hard for the last year! Am resisting the temptation to test though - fed up with the bfns.
Your temps sound very promising Gum you are more fertile after mc so you could well be. Don't they say you are less likely to mc again if you get pg quickly after mc too?
Fionah I know I keep banging on about it but acupuncture or reflexology is meant to be very good for regulating cycles and stimulating the ovaries. Might be worth a try alongside the medical treatment you are having.
Hope it is easy for you Wednesday. Everything crossed for you.
DH is out of hosp but lying around on the sofa & moping about!! I have very little patience with him I'm afraid - if the drs say you're fine then you're fine so get up & get on with it!
He had his birthday in hosp so I've booked us a couple of days away, leaving tomorrow. Hopefully that will perk him up a bit. Not easy having dd in a hotel room though because she goes to bed at 7.30 & we're stuck in the dark trying to be quiet. Not even ovulation time so no point in having sex ha ha. Have a lovely weekend everyone x

Now, Grizzer, you know that sounds suspiciously like implantation if AF isn't due til Tuesday (I am quietly excited for you).

Hi Wednesday. The shagging bit is like riding a bicycle, but the trying to conceive bit isn't. I hope it won't take you long to get pregnant, but the truth is,after a while it can become an emotional roller coaster.

Deige, glad you are feeling better, sorry DH has the "man-flu" Woo Hoo to a healthy BMI. Mine is still over,and it hasn't helped that I have been having the damned metallic taste in my mouth which seems worse if I drink water and only better when masking it with food. It is why I always put on weight in the first trimester. If this metallic taste isn't pregnancy I shall have to go on a serious diet....

I still have high temps! I can hardly believe it. According to fertility friend I am 13 dpo (but I think I might be 12), I will have a look over my charts, but I can't recall having temperatures remain this high at 12 dpo, that's when they usually drop before spotting and AF a day or two later. But the boob tenderness has almost disappeared, however they are very veiny and I don't recall them looking like that in a long time (not even last month when I did get a bfp). I also had another very clear dream, this time I was offering my moses basket to my sister. Seems to me all the dreams I have are about someone close to me being pregnant. Never me

So I still have my fingers crossed, but also I am preparing myself emotionally for AF so that the fall isn't so bad. I know in other pregnancies the tender breasts would come and go, so maybe?...However, last night when I got in from work I did another first response test and it was clearly BFN. I didn't bother this morning (after getting up at 4 am with DS who wet my bed (eww!) and I had a wee, so I thought FMU wouldn't be all that concentrated). It is just a case of wait and see.

mattsmama, your boob symptoms sound very promising. When will you test/is AF due?

I have fingers crossed for at least three bfp's in the next week or so (one of them is mine, ok??)

Had a tiny spot of blood this morning so assume AF is on the way even though it's not supposed to be til Tuesday. My lower back is really aching too which I'm not reading anything into......
Have decided to paint the hall & stairs - I always regret it once I start but the paint has been purchased & the masking tape is covering all the parts I hope not to paint but probably will anyway. Such a lovely day too, really should be having a glass of wine in the garden! What do you mean it's only 2 o'clock?? I feel like I need a bottle after the week I've had!

Hi everyone, been hovering for a few weeks and decided to join you. Firstly thanks to everyone for the information and advice in these threads. Picked up a lot of tips. I'm 42 and after two-ing and fro-ing we have decided to go for it! Came off the pill at Christmas and amazed after nearly 43 years on the planet I am only just learning how my body works and the process it takes to get pregnant lol. Measuring this, monitoring that. I have said that whatever will be will be but I'm already slightly obsessive ;0 my DD turns 20 end of the year so I'm hoping it's like riding a bicycle???

healthy

I agree gum, don't give up yet. If the temp dip was indeed a conception dip you wouldn't expect a bfp for a few days yet. Of course I know you've been here lots of times before too, but whatever the outcome this month those high temps are good and it was only a month ago that you got a bfp. Hold on in there xxx
fireflies good to hear from you, and sorry about af this month. Sounds like you have a good plan of action though re: supplements etc (bracelets sound intriguing - don't babies have those bracelets for teething too? - someone making a packet out there .
All ok here. Dh has the 'bug' so we're talking 2 straight days in bed, natch At least I am feeling better and trying to keep the 6ibs lost going! Have a helthy bmi now but still a stone and a half to go until my 'ideal' weight.

Ah Fireflies, I had to smile when you mentioned the jade bracelets - do they have special conception powers???? Because if they do, I must have one!! I have rose quartz for fertility purposes, but clearly they've not yet worked.

I feel very confused about the way I am feeling. I am trying to revert to the, "I am definitely not pregnant,it just isn't possible, certainly couldn't be straight after a chemical, blah,blah,blah..." to thinking, "blimey, this metallic taste just isn't letting up, boobs still sore, there's got to be something in this..." And to top it off I had a nice high temperature today. My chart looks like a classic chart with implantation dip, but the dip is late - 10 or 11 dpo, which doesn't bode well. But temperature being up at this stage is good.Here is my chart.

However, this morning the breast tenderness isn't as bad, and test is clearly negative.

I expect to see AF either Sunday or Monday. I haven't completely given up, I keep reminding myself that some women don't get a + test until a week after AF is due. So getting negatives at 10 or 11 dpo isn't the end necessarily.

At least the sun is shining, weather is sweet (thanks, Bob Marley) and it is the last day of term, so two weeks off soon. God knows I need it.Perfect timing for weeks five and 6 or pregnancy I think....

Welcome fiona (can't think what your RL name could be ). If he is right about your ovaries/hormones, hopefully it's relatively easy to fix. Maybe with an IVF style approach? They put you on the pill for a bit, then suppress your natural hormones for a bit, then you take hormones to recreate a normal female cycle up to ovulation. Just speculating though.

Matts the obsessing is perfectly natural. I wish I could be nonchalant and not do it. It would be just so perfect to say, oh I know, I feel a bit rough. I'll just POAS for the hell of it, and find it's positive.

Going to put on my jade bracelets again. Where's the clutching at straws emoticon?

Night all. xx

Gum - I am so with you on the ups and downs of the 2ww!! Too early for me to test but my nipps are something else one minute hot prickly and sore then not so much but always tender - I am boob prodding all the time! It is so hard isn't it? I am annoyed with myself once again for even allowing myself to get a little bit more than hopeful : /

10000. LOL at the sore throat - I actually had a bit of one last night. Why do we do it to ourselves?!!

Hi. I am currently 41 (42 in October) and suffered my first miscarriage in November of last year. I opted for a D&C as my body did not recognise that i had miscarried. I had one period on 18th January but i have had nothing since. I am now under a consultant at the hospital who has told me that it might be my ovaries not working as my hormone levels are all over the place. I wondered if anyone else has been through similar and if their hormones were the same. I find it very difficult to believe that i can have a natural pregnancy after normal cycles to then not have my ovaries working properly!! It seems too much of a coincidence. BTW its brilliant to see that there is hope out there!! xx

I just read back a bit on the thread. Jbrd sorry to hear about the wait for results and deciding about having further tests etc. I wonder if you thoughts are the same as mine. I didn't know in advance what my response would be to test results if they revealed abnormalities. I decided to cross that bridge when we came to it. We didn't have to consider further tests, but I was shocked by how high my risk was deemed to be even so. (results were misquoted over phone as being much better - in the thousands when actually in the hundreds.)

Grizzer I am not an expert on cycles at all. I hope someone can help you with your question. Good to hear your hubby is recovering ok.

Matts I'm with you on the obsessive symptom spotting. Did you see the link I posted above. Love it! It even has a sore throat as an early preg symptom!!

gum sorry about the bfn. Hope FF is right about the days.

I have just about recovered from yesterday's hangover. I consoled myself with a large quantity of vintage cava. I had a to have a hair of the dog last night as painkillers/lots of water wasn't enough. Have gone soft in old age!!

Lovely day here. Sun has been shining and it feels lovely and warm. And DS is napping. Bliss!! Time to start downing the green tea and supps.

not sure how to feel today. A mix of feeling optimistic because the metal mouth is still there and boobs still tender and had really clear dream of a new baby, but disappointed because i got a bfn and temp is lower. however although fertility friend says i am 11 dpo i may only be 10. I do i feel really tired and tummy is unsettled. can't quite believe i have got the tww blues again....

Bah humbug....

Crikey Gum - u really were busy lol! Defo fingers crossed on the symptoms - when r u thinking of poas? Sorry you're out Fireflies - enjoy a large glass of wine! xx

10000 sorry you are out this month but like Grizzer says you do have lots of options to think about : )

Gum - exciting pregnancy symptoms! I am now also in yet another 2ww and I tell myself to get a grip each time! But.... I am still symptom spotting!! My boobs are also always tender however this month it is more in my nipples - mega sore ! I am trying not to read too much into this (laughs at self!) though, however this was first symptom with my first pregnancy (slaps back of own hand). I was so gutted last month not to be preggo and promised I would be more cautious this time but it is so hard not to read into every little twinge/symptom/soreness/change in appetite!!!

Sorry to hear you're out this month Fireflies. Lots of options by the sound of things though.
Dh is much better, should be home tomorrow. Once treatment is underway recovery is quite quick so hopefully he will happily sit watching the golf that is apparently on for the next few days & I can get on with decorating the hall.
Quick question: I am about 12dpo but AF not due til 15th which would make me 18dpo. Is that normal? I've never really thought about it but that seems quite a long time after ov. I normally have a 31 day cycle. I think I must have ov'd earlier than normal this month.
All sounds very promising Gum, everything crossed for you.

I mean 'he's not keen', rather than 'it'. Do view DS as lovely little person rather than inanimate object!! He does make keeping up on MN diff at times!!

Not been lucky this month. At least I can deal with it now all the hormones have cleared and am no longer pre-menstrual. Oh, and the sun is shining today. I am counting my blessings. Will have to try harder this month and get going on the supps etc. Wondering about more IVF (for those who don't know me, I had two failed IVF cycles in 2011. DS was a spontaneous conception immediately after second cycle failed.) Don't fancy it though, and have to completely wean DS off boobs and it's not keen!! There is always our frozen embryo too. Might consider adoption too.

Hi diege. Nice to see you again. Hope things improve for you.

Waves to all.

Hello Diege, I was hoping you'd drop in. Poor you having to return to work when you aren't well. I hope you can get some rest, but I know how hard that is with young children and work.

I have got myself practically convinced that I must be pregnant this cycle. Honestly, you'd think after ttc for so long, so many months of symptoms that meant nothing I'd know better. But on the other hand, I've had ten pregnancies in total, and should have a clue, shouldn't I?

Anyway, I have the strongest metallic taste in my mouth, which rather than coming and going, is there constantly, which means I am eating all the time because if I don't,the taste makes me feel sick.This is so familiar to me in early pregnancy. I did have it after the chemical pregnancy,and it turned out I had a virus, a tummy bug, but this time,it has been constant for days and I am not unwell. The high temperatures keep coming (hurray!!They haven't been this good in years and they are even higher than all my pregnancy graphs) and the tender boobs aren't letting up (though I admit I have them every cycle, usually dropping off around 12 dpo). These symptoms are so strong, I wouldn't be surprised if I have twins! (Now I really am going loopy )

So we shall see. I usually get spotting and temperature dropping 12 dpo if AF is coming. I am 10 dpo and foolishly did a test this morning - after yet another early wake up and vivid dreams again. But although I swear I saw something faint to start with, there really is nothing there now.

Any news for you Fireflies ?

Grizzer how is your DH? I hope all is well for him.

Fingers crossed too for you jbrd that the harmony works for you this time xx

Just popping in to say hi . Returned to work last week and feel like I've been hit by a bomb . Also have a nasty sickness bug that is taking longer to recover from than I'd hoped.
Things sound encouraging fireflies and gum (high temps are progesterone related, sounds good xx) - fingers crossed for both, and of course everyone else on this thread xxx

Nope, haven't POAS yet as don't have any at home. Was contemplating popping out to late night chemist, but DS not sleeping well and DH snoring away, so don't want to leave them to it. I'd rather wait for positive news anyway, than disappoint myself earlier with bad news, IYSWIM. I would have done it by now though if I had some in the house. I should wait another day really.

What I'm really looking for though is a repeat of the absolutely dreadful way I felt when I found out was pregnant for the first time. If I feel like that again I won't need to do a test to know.

BTW, love this website for a bit of self-indulgent obsessing: www.countdowntopregnancy.com/

Cross posted with you jbrd. All the waiting is excruciating, isn't it?

Your DH has a point, if you aren't going to terminate, then why have the amnio or cvs? Unless it is to help you with a plan for managing any particular condition the baby may have.

I read that the harmony (it is called something else here, but is known as Non-invasive prenatal screening and bloods are sent overseas for analysis) is 99% accurate. So in your opinion, is it still worth having the combined nuchal and bloods if you have the harmony? (I am asking in case I ever get to the point of having testing done). In my experience the combined bloods and nuchal screening causes such a lot of heart-ache. It was my bloods that was causing the issue when I was pregnant with DS and the result pointed to a high chance of trisomy 13 or 18. I think it was the Papp-A (does that sound right, it was such a long time ago - 6 years- and I can't remember). My number was too low I think. Anyway, after getting the news that DS was fine (after a very detailed and long ultrasound at 17 weeks) I decided the early screening was not worth it and the next time I would go straight to amnio. Of course that's not how I feel now. I'd much rather avoid invasive screening, as I am sure you would too. Though it seems the odds for a miscarriage are very low.

Sorry you have to go through another tww. This baby making business is all about waiting isn't it? Hopefully you will have the all clear soon and will be able to relax and enjoy your pregnancy.