Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

Jbrd...such devastating news for you. My heart dropped when i read your post. I hope you can stay strong over the next few days to get yourself through this. Be sure we are all thinking of you x

JBrd, I am so sorry. I can not believe it could happen so late so badly - just no heartbeat..... I hope the investigations will reveal what went wrong and it will be treatable. I so hate our aging bodies betraying us so badly and not allowing us to go to term even if the first hurdles sometimes are overcome like you bravely did......

I don't know what to say jbrd - what a shock, you must be devastated. This is just too cruel Please use the thread to rant and get it all out if you need to - we are all here for you xxx

Oh what is my body doing? Give me a new one ! Temps up slightly today but still sluge present, and slightly redder, but certainly not like usual af. My chart is terrible this month
www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3931aa
Have look Gum please

Im so sorry Jbrd How heartbreaking xx

oh Jbrd I am so sorry. How devastating for you and your family. I know there's nothing I can do or say to help but please know I am thinking of you and am here to listen. Xxx

I'm so so sorry to read your news JBrd, I haven't posted for a while but I've continued to lurk. Take care xx

JBrd - I'm so so sorry. Hope everyone in rl is taking care of you. So cruel.

JBrd - so very saddened to read your post. Nothing anyone can say or do can in anyway help the way you will be feeling right now. I am so very sorry. I am devastated for you xxx

jbrd x posts from my side.... I am so sorry and I know words can not express how terribly awful this situation is.....ohh hun...xxxxx

Oh my god - I am so, so sorry jbrd. I know no words can even touch what you are going through. My thoughts are with you and your DH. I can only hope that your miscarriage is without complications and you have some space and time to grieve.
Xxx

Hi all!!!

May I sit on the corner and lurk/listen to you all?? gum what you said on Saturday did touch me greatly because it is how I feel ...
DH is worried about another dc as he is hmmmm 54 right now??? But I put across to him really clearly that I would like another lo. I am really aware it might not happen, we might not be lucky and blessed again but my heart is saying that there is room for another one....
So I am awaiting for his answer (he reflects a lot) and saying Hiya to you all friends that supported me so in the past.... for the new chicks I am 42 and we have DD19, DS1 14 and last October DS2 6months....

I'm so sorry JBrd. There are no words of comfort at this time but my thoughts are with you. How heartbreaking.

Well, another exciting night in the Grizzer household! Got home from work to find dd lying on the sofa (granny was looking after her) with bruise like blotches on her lower legs & swollen feet. Got advice from gp to go straight to a & e. She's got HSP which is caused by a virus. Not contagious but can affect the kidneys & stomach so have to monitor her urine for 6 months! Short term we're back to hospital tomorrow to look at the results of the 2 urine samples I will do at home & then they'll decide what next. Poor thing can't walk properly as it's also on the soles of her feet.
The awful thing is she's such a mini actress she was tiptoeing and limping a couple of days ago & we were laughing at her!! Oops.
On the plus side I got a positive ov test yesterday afternoon so managed to persuade dh to dtd despite our dramatic night. I do seem to go from absolutely nothing on a test to a full positive so very easy to miss.
Hope the brown spotting is a good sign Mumaluh
I don't chart Gum, always have to leap out of bed before the alarm goes to deal with 'a snotty nose' or 'the bed covers aren't right' so I've never managed to do it. Hope school was ok. Is it a report writing term? It is for me, ready for the end of the year. I always swear I'll start early & not panic but it's always last minute!!

Thanks Gum I was wondering about implantation bleeding. Caved in and did a test but bfn. Maybe my body is playing tricks on me- or too early (wishful thinking) ! I will try and wait patiently, but temp dropped down again today so we will see .

mumalah, it could be implantation bleeding. If you had a big rise on 9 dpo after brown discharge (old blood) on 8 dpo, you could probably test at 12 dpo and see if it is. Exciting!

grizzer, you might just be having a late ovulation. You could keep at it with the opks, but if you are DTD anyway, the only advantage is having an idea of when to expect af/test. Are you charting? I like charting because it gives me a clear idea of when to expect AF.

I am back to work today after two weeks off. Really not looking forward to it as I was just starting to feel human all over again. I hope this term won't be as tough as last term, but there's exam in 5 weeks, so that will be stressful with the preparation of my senior students, then the marking load...

Have a good day

hello everyone, I don't post often, but read daily.
I,m not sure whats going on with my cycle this month so any advice would be gratefully received.I am 10 dpo and have had brown discharge since 8 dpo. Thought it was early af but it doesn't seem to be starting ? My temps are still above coverline with a big rise on 9 dpo. Sill taking agnus castus and b complex.Any ideas? Normally af starts fresh blood and heavy? Has this happened to anyone else and if so what was the outcome! Thank you !

Hi everyone, cd 14 or 15 for me. Not sure when to count from as first day of AF was very browny & I know some people say you only count from the first day of red blood. Absolutely no sign of ov though. I usually get 2 strong lines on cd 14 but nothing - not even a faint one. I'm hoping it's because I'm using different sticks this month & maybe they're just a bit rubbish but my periods are getting lighter so I am wondering if I'm heading for early menopause.
Still dtd regularly though just in case but not too hopeful this month. Hopefully it's just a slightly late ov though....
Jbrd sorry harmony didn't work. How many weeks are you now? I hope you are able to enjoy your pregnancy a little despite the worry.
Sorry about bfn Calibee.
How exciting Green I wish my dh was open to other options but he is a bit younger than me & his view is if it doesn't happen naturally we just have to accept that. I will bring up adoption again soon though I think.
Oh Jass hope you're ok. It's just impossible for us to give up isn't it? I keep thinking exactly the same - 'this is definitely my month' then the disappointment comes, made worse by cycles suddenly changing slightly & being a day or two late. Every twinge is a sign but it always comes to nothing. It's a year this month since my last mc & since then not a whiff of pregnancy. I just can't believe it's going to happen if it hasn't happened by now. I wish I had a crystal ball......

i feel I am getting into pattern here - from AF to day 10 i think i am calling it a day, no point ttc, it will not happen anyway. then comes fertile window, and of course I cannot miss it, so make sure enough action to give me hopeful 2ww goes in. Then I convince myself that this is it, this month there was th good egg/ my immune issues - never proofed anyway- vanished, etc. Then comes the too weak bfp and I revert into "i am done" mode once again. A mental cycle on top of th real one:-)))
JBrd, let us know how amnio went,hopefully no complications and a good result!

Hello ladies.
Jbrd, I am sorry to her the second Harmony didn't work. How frustrating for you. I haven't even considered that it may not work. Have you decided where to have the amnio done? It sounds like you are leaning toward your local hospital, and I can understand that. I think whichever way you go, you will be looked after. When will the amnio happen? Please let us know how you get on.

Hi calibee. I am really sorry to hear that you got an arctic white bfn. It sucks! I so want you to have a wee baby. I know how much you and DH would love a child together, and I really hope the IUI can do the trick for you. Please don't be angry with your body (though I know exactly how you feel), unfortunately our bodies age and with that comes sub-fertility, that doesn't mean our bodies won't deliver, because there's still a chance.

Green, it is so exciting that things are starting to happen re: egg donor.And having an fsh of 8 is bloomin' wonderful! Please keep us posted on your journey, I am really curious how the whole thing works. We'll be here for constant hand-holding if you need it.

Mattmamma, that question, about "who is more selfish, him or me?" I don't think either of you are. I cannot speak for you and your DH of course, but for myself, I know that an outsider looking into my situation would clearly see me as the selfish one: I have children already, shouldn't I concentrate on them? Why bring another child into the mix when DH isn't keen, feels he has done his bit in that regard, is over 50, and just wants to move onto the next phase of his life. However, unless you feel the burning desire to have a baby, that deep heartfelt longing to bring a child into your family, how can you understand that isn't selfish at all? You (I) are/am willing to give over my body to nurture and grow a child for 9 months, forsaking all sorts of things (like painkillers when my head is pounding, alcohol, soft cheeses etc,etc), putting up with horrible nausea, aches and pains and extreme anxiety for 9 months. Not to mention all the prodding and poking. Then it will be me who gets up all night long to breast-feed. I will put my career on hold again, give up my income, my future income (superannuation) and be the one who stays home for the first year, away from adult company....Of course I really want to do that, but what I am trying to say is that it isn't really "selfish". Wanting to bring a child into your family is about the least selfish thing a person can do - it's about bringing love and joy into your home, and I feel that is not a selfish thing to do.Of course I am speaking from the heart, not the head, which would say I am being rediculous, because sometimes bringing a child into the family causes stress and difficulty (particularly financially).

But I know how bloody hard it is to convince a man, particularly one over 50, that it is a good idea. So I stopped trying to get through to him I've appealed to his selfish desire for sex instead - I offer it,and he gladly takes it, and I leave it at that. Speaking of which, I am really pleased that timing turned out to be just right when DH came back from his little trip. I am pretty sure I ovulated yesterday, and we were able to Have SWI in the two days before and day of ovulation, so I am satisfied with that. My temperature has risen today, so now it's tww time...

Oh jbrd that is so frustrating that the harmony failed twice!! Re the
amnio - I think maybe you have answered your own question? If your local
hospital has a busy maternity unit and regularly performs this test and
they take care of you and make you feel safe it sounds like a better
proposition. Sorry you are having to go through this worry.

Apols I have been AWOL for a while and have missed everyone's news - we have moved house are now up to our ears in cardboard boxes. Will try and catch up and when we actually have an internet connection at home - post a bit more often!

We went for our first appointment at the egg donation clinic on
Tuesday and are now officially on the waiting list for a donor (gulp
). It felt very strange discussing my physical characteristics
regarding finding a donor match and discuss what we were looking for in
general - all I could think of was healthy! My cycles are still up the
creek - last month I appeared to ovulate on CD8 i had EWCM and my
temperatures shot up (FFS!) and therefore started my period on CD22. A
scan at the clinic revealed everything looking normal for CD6 so obivously
it is my hormones that are to blame. My accupuncurist suggested that I
might be perimenapousal but my FSH was still 8 at the last check so I am
not sure that can be right (or maybe I am in denial). In any event if we
get a egg donor match they will be "taking over" my cycle anyway so it
doesn't really make much of a difference what my nutty cycle is up to.

I know it is obvious but I so hope we find a suitable donor, the process
works first time and we actually manage to have a baby (or two ).
Deep down though I worry that we are exhausting our options one by one and
while my DP is very supportive i fear he may be running out of steam....

Ps. calibee bugger to your BFN but good news on the IUI front - don't give up yet. X

Morning all.
Jbrd...sorry to hear the Harmony didnt deliver for you. I agree with Jass about the amnio...stay with those you know and trust.

12DPO for me, bfn yesterday and tumbling temps today :(. Seeing the arctic whiteness actually made me angry with my body. 2 years trying this month . Not feeling good.

JBrd, sorry the harmony failed. On amnio, i would go to the place where you would go in case you started having complications from amnio. If it is their procedure threatening complications later they will do everything they can in order to resolve issues. Sounds harsh, but so true sometimes - i had amnio in the hosp I later turned to with active contractions after the procedure. i was quickly filled with magnesium and all antibiotics they dared and my pregnancy survived. I later heard of another case where a woman had had amnio elsewhere (a fancy private practice, not a hospital providing emenrgency care) and they were much less proactive in her case. it is rude of me to think medical professionals can be seeking self-interet this way, but i can not help and feel they do sometimes..... Tender loving care is an important aspect of obstetrics as well, so all this seems to point to local hosp!

Mattsmama, I so know the feeling of ttc in dark - the insecurity of whether you get it done when you need it is truly bad! that is why I quite like 2ww, as all that could be done has been done and no worries until test day! Luckily most men feel up to it every other day or two days anyway, so it can be casually arranged! The immunes aspect is complicating the things as well, of course.......

Hi everyone - thank you so much for your words of advice and your own experiences. Oh what to do next?!! That is the question and my dh is avoiding even talking about it. He really doesn't want to carry on I know that - although he has said if he were 10 year younger it would not be an issue. It is his age (50) which is stopping him. Having children especially a toddler can often be the best contraception available so spontaneity is out of the window plus I have to plan as I am on the pred thread and I have to take steroids because of m/c issues. I am already aware that my next window of opportunity is approaching (currently on cd 6). I am deliberately not mentioning "IT" to see what happens. Part of me (a very small part) is wondering about calling it a day too but I know in my heart I would regret that so much at some point in the future. If I have at least had a good go then at least I can say I tried. He has always been supportive and understanding in the past especially with mc's etc he was as devastated as I was.

I am so grateful for your input and advice - it really does help having people who totally understand how I am feeling - my dh clearly does not and I doubt ever will with regard to ttc no 3. I keep asking myself though am I the selfish one or is he? x