Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

Gum, among vegans there are quite high numbers of infertility, too :-) some claim immune issuesmcan be enhanced by so-called endo diet, which is vegan and dairy free:-) There is no such thing like do this -'happens that. mothers day here as well, just got in from expat mothers' day party with lots of home made traditional stuff.

10dpo I have never had a neg hpt with any of my mc. So Icount myself out if not pos by then. Interestingly, with my last successfull pg I had neg at 12dpo and reasonably clear pos at 16dpo. Was not testing inbetween, as was not obsessed then. And I did another at 18 dpo bcause had terrible af type pains. The test at 18 dpo was not equal lines still, and I get em equal by 500-600 beta in blood, so I must have had horribly slow rising betas then. It was a test type I still use, so I know. I did not know all that, so went to doc after these two tests only around 8w and was totally sure there will be a baby at the end. Oh to get that naivety back!

jass, why would 10 dpo be without hope? Implantation could occur a day later couldn't it, and still be a viable pregnancy?

I am on my third day of AF today,and it is very light. Feeling that I am very perimenopausal and worried it is the death knoll on any chance at all.

I guess I just have to keep trying - it is the only way I will find out either way.

I just heard a story about a 48 year old with a healthy pregnancy (just had amnio and all is well) - but she is vegan - so if that is the clincher, I've no hope. I am just not going to give up meat

It is Mother's Day in Australia. I am being treated to breakfast made for me, but I'm not sure the rest of the day will be perfect. I have to take DS to a birthday party ( a bunch of 5 year old boys running around is not my idea of relaxation), DH is spending most of the day with his DM, so I don't know if I will get a break. I might send DD out for a walk with young DS so I can an hour to myself

mumalah, you've not updated your chart. What's going on? Did AF show?

I am 7DPO, and gearing up for that test-time disappointment:-)) Should i get it 9dpo with some hope left of 10 dpo without any hope left....that is the question......

JBrd, I've just seen your very sad news, I'm so sorry, how devastating. I hope you're recovering physically, and that the post-mortem does provide some answers. Gum is right, take care of yourself and take time. xx

I haven't checked in lately, I hope everyone else is ok, and I'll try and catch up in the next few days, (though I may have said that last time).

irish, yes, how are you both doing?

JBrd, some people feel better if they csnjump back to ttc as soon asphysically possible. And some need time out. i think time out is wise (I never am able to do this meself). You can recover and prepare for your future, whatever that may be. There is no hurry, a couple of months does nothing but helps your brain to get into better place.And maybe the post-mortem will tell you what happened, and maybe that is one off or treatable. Then you will have every reason to gather up that courage and try again. Though I admit that your case discouraged me really very much. - I have always believed that if I once manage to get that heart beating, it will be fine. because in all my mc I never had! For some reason what happened to you brougt it home for me - having that hb and losing it later would be so bad that I might not be ready to face it......

Jbrd, it is so nice to see you. I remember that tired and drained feeling. You really must look after yourself (and of course your DH must too). Emotionally you are going through a terrible ordeal, and physically too - so if you can try to nourish your body it may help with the awful tiredness. I know right now, it is all you can think about, but take time to recover and you can make decisions when you are ready.((hugs))

Mumalah, I have been stalking your chart (thanks to your link on the thread) I can't believe you are 20 dpo and no sign of AF and temps still above cover line. Blimey, that would do my head in seeings you haven't had a BFP. Would you consider having a blood-test to find out?

Grizzer, what a terrible run you have had of late. I like your theory - hopefully there will be a lovely BFP at the end of your tww.

There certainly won't be one for me. My temperature dropped substantially today - way under coverline, and the boob tenderness has disappeared. AF will arrive today or tomorrow. Which is actually fine. As I haven't had a week and half of symptoms, I knew it wasn't likely. I think it kind of does prove that when I have a lot of symptoms, I may in fact have a fertilised egg that doesn't implant. I know some say you can't have symptoms without implantation, but I disagree. I believe that if the egg is fertilised your hormones react differently. I did have strong symptoms before getting bfps, so that's my theory and I am sticking to it

Anyway, now wouldn't be great timing - I know it never is - but my DH is very stressed about things and a bfp might just be the "straw". His eldery parents have gone from bad to worse and he is really feeling the burden of responsibility there I think. I do wish the issues could be resolved, but these things tend not to be sorted very quickly and dealing with a very surly,grumpy old man and his confused wife is no easy feat. They are still living in their own home, which unfortunately is quite isolated, which means it is difficult to be on hand whenever there is a need. I think they want to stay on their beloved farm until they die, it is just unfortunate that they can't manage things like cleaning, cooking etc for themselves.

Sorry, completely off topic. The point is, DH is stressed and perhaps the Universe will provide a wee baby once those things are settled. Or perhaps it is just too late for me? Either way, I will be ok.

I have a fresh cold today, which is slowing me down a bit. I'd best get everyone organised for school.

Hi Irish, I hope all is well with your new little miss

OhJBrd my heart goes out to you,it must be an incredibly difficult and sad time for you.. It's all so recent and raw, you probably need to give yourself time to grieve before making a decision re ttc again or not . I know what you mean about that rollercoaster of getting pregnant and losing babies, it's so emotionally draining .I was told any pregnancy at my age (but I was then 44 so older than you) would have a 50% chance of being successful so that "golden egg" could still be there but I also know from experience that each loss is devastating. I would have adopted if we had a big enough house(think you need a seperate bedroom for each child?).
Good luck with whatever you decide xxx

Green , have you decided to accept the donor that was suggested?
Exciting times ahead for you!

Hi Gum, CaliBee and everyone else x

JBrd I understand completely where you're coming from but wait for the results of the post mortem & give yourself a few months where you allow yourself to grieve. You will do whatever is right for you but don't make any decisions while things are still so raw. You will always feel a sadness from your loss but it will ease over time & maybe you will feel ready to try again but if you don't you will know you tried everything you could & some things are out of our hands.
We are just home after 2 days in hospital with dd. she is now on medicine to help her kidneys & she will be on it until there is no longer any protein in her urine. She has been through so many blood tests & pokes & prods over the last week but is still so cheerful bless her. I have managed to get half way through the 2ww without giving it much thought. Of course, now the thoughts of 'well, we were quite stressed & busy this month so I haven't really thought about it so that's when it will happen' have started to creep in. I confess to having 2 glasses of wine tonight though. I felt it was much needed & deserved. DH in hospital 2 weeks ago & now dd - what are they trying to do to me!?

Green, that is fantastic news! You could be pregnant really soon. How exciting!

mumalah, I am so sorry to hear that your 5th DS passed away. How bittersweet to hold your niece's little boy who is the same age. I do hope you can have a baby soon. Your temperature is still really good - and it's 18dpo, I am surprised you haven't had a bfp.

My chart, on the other hand, is absolutely abysmal. My post ovulation temperatures haven't gotten beyond about 36.68. Makes me worry that my progesterone isn't high enough, but I've had sore boobs since ovulation - isn't that the progesterone? Maybe it is estrogen and that's why temps are lowish. I certainly don't hold out any hope whatsoever for a bfp. I shouldn't be surprised, but I do keep hoping for a bfp despite my age.

It's going to be very busy over the next few days, with DH away on a school camp, and me left to ferry all the kids, juggle all that with work etc. So at least I won't have too much time to think about not getting a bfp....Who knows - next month might just be the golden egg I have been waiting for

Thank you Green and good luck to you, wow that is quick !
I spent last night with my nieces little boy he is two the same age as my 5th ds passed away. Sadly his mum isn't the greatest and had dumped him on grandma for two weeks, hasn't been in touch since and didn't even say good bye when she left. I couldn't help but think why doesn't she realize how lucky and precious he is? She did the same with two other children, even had the eldest adopted, it makes me so mad ! Just having him sitting on my lap gave me that intense strong feeling of wanting to be a mum again.
Im still spotting, temp dropped slightly but still above the coverline, I dont know whats going on definatley a WTF cycle Gum
Thinking of you Jbrd

Morning

Hope you are doing ok jbrd. Thinking of you.

So DP and I went to have our consultation at the clinic on Friday (all good - esp. DP sperm count about which he was ridiculously proud and has bee taking his morning vitamin without prompting . We also had to have a counselling session which was ok but really designed to find out whether we had considered the ramifications of egg donation etc. It was quite basic but I guess some people don't think about it.

The shocking thing was just before we left they advised that they had matched a donor who was ready to go... Which freaked me out because I thought I had about 4 weeks and accepting this donor would mean starting on the 15 of May!!

They give you such random information on which to make a decision (height, hair colour, hair colour and a few characteristics that the donor has identified and a hobbies) and I don't know how to make the decision....she has the same colour eyes as DP is nearly the same height as me and same colour hair.....but ultimately does it really matter? My sister and eye don't really look like each other and any baby won't be of my genetics so why look for someone who matches? We have until Tuesday morning to decide. My current leaning is toward saying yes....

This morning is a beautiful day and we are off for a long walk in the woods. Hope you all have good days.

Ps. Good luck mumlah....

Thanks Gumblossom that's so helpful, you've just reduced my obsessive googling :) I had my day 21 test last month and it was 53.1 so confirmed ovulation and a healthy progesterone level, thyroid was 1.05....DP has healthy swimmers too so I don't know why it's not happening. Thx for the links I'll be reading up over the weekend.

Grizzer your poor DD, I remember chicken pox in the most awkward places so so well!

Morning everyone, I have just sneaked upstairs for a shower while dd is distracted with a DVD (dh there too). She is really suffering at the moment, we have spent 3 days going backwards & forwards to hosp to have her kidneys checked because of this HSP she's got. Now she has chicken pox! One spot is causing her eye to swell, others around her lady bits causing great discomfort. Poor thing. Calpol is our new best friend.
I'm not even sure how many dpo I am with all this going on - fingers crossed I might have a non obsessive 2ww!

The BFN isn't necessarily bad news then, Mumalah , if your temperature is high.

I have just had a look and ,wow! It really has shot up, that's got to be because of progesterone. If it were my chart, I'd be feeling a teeny bit hopeful

Morning Everyone ! Sadly another BFN for me and temperature shot up again

inshock, your FSH is great; they want it under 10 (I think) for IVF. It is really only a concern if you are seeking to have IVF. Even if your FSH was sky high,it wouldn't mean you can't get pregnant - it is simply a measure of how hard your ovaries are working to get ovulation happening - as we age, fsh goes up because the body has to work a bit harder at getting the egg released. Unfortunately women are told that high fsh means the death knoll on their fertility. It's really only useful if you are having ivf because they need to stimulate the ovaries to produce more folilicles and if FSH is high it's a problem.

Are you having the 21 day bloods too (should be called 7 DPO bloods to be accurate)? It will measure your progesterone.

I honestly don't think your FSH is stopping you from getting pregnant. I know 10 months seems a long time, but it may be just around the corner for you. Randine Lewis has a lot of inspirational stuff to say about FSH, as does Julia Indichova.

How is everyone else?

I hope all is well.

Firstly - JBrd If you are still occasionally reading, I hope you're receiving all the care and love you need x

Ladies - do you mind me asking you all a question? I've just had the results of my day 3 bloods and my readings are as follows: LH 5.9, FSH 9.0, I'm a bit freaked out because I think my FSH is too high. My GP has said they're 'normal' but as I've been ttc since mc 10 months ago I think this may be the problem. Can anyone shed any light on whether this FSH level is cause for concern?

Thanks all x

JBrd - so sorry to hear your sad news. It is devastating to be getting so far and beginning to raise hopes, it is cruel. If the previous tests had come back with an issue, you would have been more prepared, but the equivocal results let that hope raise. The only thing we can hope now is that the induction, goes as easily as it can, and that you have time to spend with your little one, to say goodbye. My heart goes out to you.

mummalah, your chart is still looking good, any news?

JBrd there are no words,I am so sorry for your loss, thinking of you xxx

Gum - I felt as you at the devastating news of JBrd. Whats the point, if it still can come and probably will come to this...... But similarily, the sligthest symptoms of ov being around the corner clean out all these sensible ideas.....

Not posted here for a while but I do drop by and read sometimes and I couldn't run after reading jbrd's news.....so so sad and I can't imagine how you must be feeling....hugs xxx

jbrd ... I am so sorry and don't have any words to take the pain away from you..
Take all the time you need to grieve..I hope you are sorrounded by family and friends who will take good care of you.
I'm thinking of you and your baby who will stay forever in your heart..

mumalah, I am no expert on chart reading, but to me your chart looks good.The very low temps could be an indicator of implantation, and the temps all above cover line at this stage means your progesterone is still up. All good signs. As for the bleeding - this could very well be implantation, but it could also be a WTF cycle. Have you tested? I think at this stage you could get a positive if implantation was 8 dpo.

My chart is shit this cycle. Temps are above coverline, but not by much like last month. So I don't feel at all hopeful. But that is probably a good thing. My DH told me the other day that he is feeling overwhelmed by what's going on in our lives: both of us working full-time, his parents very unwell and not looking after themselves very well, he feels he should do more, but isn't really able to, plus the pressure of having our eldest son return home and is so hard to live with (but we can't just kick him out, despite feeling that way sometimes). It is expensive feeding 7 people (as anyone with a large family knows). DS2 is at college so no longer pays room and board, which I don't mind, but with the unemployed son at home too, it is a huge food bill....

Anyway, I am coming around to the, "I don't think it is a good idea to pursue a pregnancy" again. I know I do this in regular intervals, so ignore me, but the climb, up the hill of ttc is just getting steeper the older I get. And, honestly, after jbrd's devastating news, I worry how I would cope in her shoes, I honestly think after such a long time ttc, getting to that stage I would be completely undone, so I think perhaps I ought to let it go (again ).

I know, however, as soon as those hormones start working and I get nearer to ovulation, I'll probably be chaffing at the bit for SWI. I have to say I am a little bit sick of myself talking about this, so you must be too. God knows I wish I could just get over it and move on