Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

JBrd I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. It's still really early days & unfortunately that sadness of loss never goes away but I do think the counselling is a good idea. I'm 18 months on from an 18 week mc & I still think I should go for more counselling even now. Enjoy your holiday & perhaps talk to dh when you are a few days in & both starting to feel relaxed. My dh won't even consider any kind of testing on his part & would not be up for any kind of intervention that involves him in any way! Happy for me to do it all though!
Welcome Grinch, sounds promising that you come from good breeding stock!! 48! Wow!
Gum hope the pain is ok & you get things sorted soon.
Justpick you are right, I am so lucky to have dd & I can give her more time as it's just her but I know she would be an amazing big sister & I would love to give her that.
I think this is going to be a long month for me! I'm only about 4 or 5 dpo & already I'm convinced my abdomen is doing weird things & I'm getting odd sensations. Nothing to do with the terrible diet of bread bread & more bread that I've had during all the various hospital sagas in the last month & everything to do with things stretching & moving in preparation for my baby obviously.
Is it really only 8 o'clock. I feel like it's time for bed. Oh another symptom maybe.....?

JBrd, I think (hope) your DH is fighting his own feelings by trying to talk up the current status quo, not that he is not on the same page with you. IVF can scare menm of course, and his rationale probably is that you can get pg yourself, so why bother.....Same for adoption maybe? Also, I hope your PM will tell you something to point to right direction. Hard facts may change hubby's mind as well maybe. I hope you hold up through all this difficult period, and that the pain will start gradually fading when PM and farewell ceremony is over.

My great grandmother had baby at 46. But She did not live in polluted world of 21st century......

Hello Justpick and Grinch, and welcome. Grinch, it is inspirational to read that your grandma had a baby at 48. Perhaps I might still have a slight chance?

My mum's mum had her last at 42. However, it always amazed me that she did at all as she had so many health issues. She was diabetic and epileptic, her nutrition was terrible as they were very poor. But still she had 13 kids and her last at 42. I am not sure about my nonna - she had five, but I think it was all done and dusted by the time she was 35.

Hi Jbrd, it is nice to see you (read you? ). I am not at all surprised that you are in a tough place, you are going through a horrible ordeal, and it must be very difficult for you and DH to make decisions. And I know it seems to add insult to injury when DH isn't feeling it as keenly as you are. Give yourself time to think it over, and perhaps the holiday,and the PM results will help you both come to some sort of agreement, when you know more? I know it doesn't help to have DH tell the inlaws it is all great with just one, but perhaps he is trying to make you feel better about not having another baby? I think men are odd creatures at the best of times, and don't really understand the immense emotions we feel.

Jass, how are you? Where are you at in your cycle?

I am just waiting for AF to turn up. I've had low temps the last two days and the boob tenderness has disappeared. It is just as well, as I think I have an infection in my gum (that's not related to my nickname by the way!) from a stupid tooth that has given me trouble for years. So I'll bet that will mean another x-ray and antibiotics, not what I'd want in very early pregnancy. I just hope I can get hold of my dentist today as I don't want a fully blown systemic infection, besides the discomfort I feel. Fortunately it is above a root canal, so it is not a throbbing toothache as there is no nerves left, but my cheek and jaw hurt a bit.

Anyway - have a nice day everyone.

Hullo Grinch!
Wow 48, now that is inspirational!

Hello, may I bite the bullet and join too? I have been lurking shyly in the undergrowth for a little while, but thought I might as well take the plunge. I had DS nearly two years ago at the age of 42 - I should have been 43 but everything conspired to make him early by two months. He is now a hale and hearty 22 month old who has very little about him to make anyone think of him as prem, not least his 91st centile height... And now, despite my advanced and geriatric standing of being 44, we have decided to try and provide him with a sibling. Just started the TTC stuff. More hopeful than anything I think, but holding my grandma up as my role model as she had her youngest at 48!
JBrd so sorry about your loss, and for the decisions you have to make. Tough stuff.

JBrd I'm really sorry to hear of everything that you are going through. It must be really tough, especially if you feel your husband isn't really understanding what you are going through. If he is worried about going through heartache with adoption or IVF do you think this might mean he isn't finding it as easy as appears?

I know there is nothing I can say to make all the pain go away but I am sending you tea, cake and hugs down the virtual highway.

Justpick, welcome and there is no reason why you shoul dnot conceive easily at 41 if you did so at 39. At 40 your ovaries do not suddenly go belly up, the decrease in fertility is very gradual and also very individual. I think of long timers on this thread there are very few who have not conceived when already on the wrong side of 40 - miscarriages can happen more often at our age, but the sad stories of some are more prominent here as those who easily conceive just move on and do not become a permanent featire on MN:-)

Hullo ladies, may I join please? I am 41 and as AF has reappeared for the first time since having ds1 14 months ago we are going to start trying to conceive dc2. Must admit I am feeling apprehensive about reports on here about how much harder it is post 40 but forewarned is forearmed and all that. JBrd we too would consider adoption if we don't conceive. Gumblossom your post about call the midwife made me well up. Grizzer, i feel your pain about trying to give dc a sibling. I keep trying to remind myself of all the additional time and opportunities we will be able to give him if he is an only.

I would love three but must remember to count my blessings to have one lovely ds. Can't believe I spent so much of my life thinking I didn't want kids. Almost missed my chance altogether as the maternal urge came so late!

Grizzer, glad to hear things are going well with your DD. Hopefully the biopsy will bring good news.

Reports will be the next huge undertaking in a week or so. Ugh! Sometimes I love my job, but not when there's a mountain of marking and reports to write.

Please don't feel you are failed mother! You are trying to give DD a sibling, hang in there, it could happen any day If your opk wasn't quite + on Wednesday, then faint the next day, you may have caught the tail end of the surge. Which is fine. If you DTD any time around then, you will be in with a chance.

I did a test this am, it was BFN I'm not really surprised as my temperatures seem to be stuck at 36.65 or 36.66, it is four days running now. It has been quite cold, but I think it is a sign of lower progesterone, perhaps it is estrogen dominance?? Goodness knows. Honestly can't be bothered with more tests etc, so will just have to leave it in the lap of the Gods. The month after my last chemical I had nice high temperatures, and I wonder if it was somehow related to being pregnant - the progesterone was boosted or something?

It's a long weekend here, some friends will come over for dinner tomorrow and I plan to do some tidying up. The house falls into complete chaos over the five day work week. I absolutely hate how it does, but I simply don't have the time and energy to do anything about it during the week. I wish I could afford a maid...Sigh...I shall try to get out into the garden too - that should boost my mood.

I watched "Call the Midwife" last night and cried and cried wishing I could just give birth one more time and hold my darling newborn in my arms.

Hi all, we are out of hospital. Not bad - all done in 24hrs. They won't have results of biopsy for a week or so so we didn't need to stay in again but may have to go back depending on what the results are. Every dr or nurse that we spoke to asked dd if she had a brother or sister. #failed mother.

I'm not sure what's happening with me. I had, what I thought was, an almost positive ov stick on Wednesday. That was 13dpo so slightly earlier than normal. Dtd that day. Tested the next day fully expecting to see the 2 lines & there was only a faint one. Don't think I've dtd enough this month & with the stress of dd being in hosp & total lack if sleep all round I'd be very surprised if there is a bfp for me this month. Having acupuncture tomorrow though so hopefully I'll feel more relaxed if nothing else.
Hope you're enjoying your holiday Green things are really moving for you now - so exciting.
Glad you had a nice weekend Jbrd hope the results of the pm make things a little clearer for you.
Gum I feel your pain! I have been madly trying to get reports written inbetween everything else that's been going on. Needless to say I've failed miserably & have now left myself an enormous amount to do from Monday. Ah well, dd is home & hopefully improving and that is all that matters.
Have a lovely weekend all x

Hi diege. It's been madly busy this week - exam marking. I think I marked about 200 essays in three days. God - it's exhausting. Sometimes I really don't like being a teacher.

I've been so tired, and wondering if there might be a good reason for it, but after a couple of reasonable temperatures they've been pretty shit,hovering around 36.65, 36.66...a bit depressing.

Makes me cross that I have other "symptoms" (which I shall start putting down to peri-menopause, or pmt instead of thinking of as possible preg symptoms) - I have felt sick a bit in the evenings, particularly when hungry, gagging on anything I put in my mouth and having the metallic taste again. And the breast tenderness is increasing. I feel tearful too - but that's probably just being tired and overworked and ticked off that I got a BFN tonight. I am only 10 dpo, but I thought maybe...

I just want to get off this endless roundabout of ttc and actually graduate with a take home bub. As much as I want it, I also know it is very unlikely as each month goes by.

Jbrd I can understand you are feeling scared. I hope the PM results can give you what you need - whether it be an answer, or as part of the healing process. I can't imagine how hard it will be, so I'll send love your way.

If you want to share it with us, I will be here.

Anyway, I hope everyone else is doing ok. xxx

Quiet on here!!! Where are you Gum??? A two day absence requires at least a medical note Hope all is ok xx
Jbrd glad ds's birthday went well. I have been thinking of you and wondering how things were going. Can I ask when you get your pm results? I can understand how hard it would be to make an decisions etc until you get some answers
Hope everyone else is ok xxx

Wow green it's going super quick! Very excited for you xx
Gum glad to see good temps. I don't think they were so good last month were they? That must make you feel hopeful for sure.
Yes, super busy here which I generally thrive on but I will admit is taking its toll at the moment. I tend to drop ds 2 and 3 (baby and toddler) at nursery, then dh does the school drop offs mon to weds. He usually does the collections (ds1 and dd3) from the childminder, and then nursery as I'm not back till 7ish. Luckily the two older dds (11 and 12) come home on their own after school. Looks crazy written down!
Love to all - this is such a great thread (and fireflies I am definitely finished!!! I am living vicariously through you all ). Sod's law I have ewm to die for around ov time

Hi Green, it is very exciting that you will soon be having an embryo transfer, I so hope it works for you. Where are you going on holiday?

I did manage to watch George Gently. I do like him, he seems a very genuine bloke.

My temperature had a nice rise this morning, and I must admit to feeling quite pleased. I am about 5 or 6 dpo.

Keep us posted with what's happening for you. Have a lovely holiday.

Hope you managed to stay awake for George gum and greetings from a very rainy UK.... What day of your cycle are you?

Day 13 of Buserelin injections for me and I am kind of getting used to them. I think I might be getting off lightly on the side effects so far - I feel fat, knackered, my CM has dried up as has my desire for sex but no headaches, no hot flushes or big mood swings to report. Obviously this makes me think it might not be working! This stage in the treatment is to block my hormone surges and baseline me - our donor is doing the same so we can line up with each other.

I am off on holiday tomorrow (yay!) for 10 days so will be having a scan and dummy embryo transfer on 10 June (exactly one year after my ERPC ) when I get back. I think the plan is that our donor starts stimulating then I start on the oestrogen to build up my uterine lining.

How is everyone else getting on? jbrd hope you are doing ok and getting through.

Hi everyone, nothing new to report here, although my temperatures aren't very inspiring, so I reckon it will be another month without luck.. sigh...My boobs are not very sore either, usually I have tenderness by now. Feeling worried that I'm getting very close to the dreaded menopause.

Anyway, I am marking my place so I don't lose the thread.

Calibee - how are things for you?

Green are you starting your treatment soon?

Deige, nice to hear from you. Thanks for the compliment re: my DC's. I think they're lovely. Would so love just one more. You must be so busy now that you're back at work. Do you have to take baby to childcare, or do you have someone come in? What do you do when the other DC's are on holiday? Do you get he same holidays?

It's been very cold today but I managed to get out for a walk. It felt great, despite the wind and rain. Now I am ready to snuggle up by the fire and watch George Gently. Hopefully I'll actually stay awake and watch it. I usually doze off after ten minutes

Happy days!

The sheer exhaustion that comes with AF makes it even worse. I feel like I've been run over by a bus. Still, better start thinking positive... only a few more days before time to start DTD again!!

I'll try to keep up with you all a bit better, but am going to set myself a limit on the laptop every day so I can get some more chores done. Going away for a few days anyway, so will be offline for a bit. Hope the rest of the bank holiday is good for you all. FF

Sorry to hear AF got you fireflies. It always seems worse when she leads you on for a few days.
Acupuncture was lovely. Shame I had to come home, tidy up & cook dinner! Oh well x

Hi Grizzer thanks for keeping everything crossed. You can uncross them now though. The painters are in. Although, at least I am less worried about the menopause. Was obviously getting myself into a Pre-menstrual frenzy worrying about it!! Am thinking about getting myself booked in for some blood tests and maybe even another scrape. If we had the spare cash I'd be booking myself in for some more IVF. Trouble is, I think we can only scrape together enough for one, possibly two rounds, and if that doesn't work, it will be agony. It's quite an addictive process. Anyone who's been through IVF will know what I mean. You really get built up - counting the eggs as they develop, then you get a harvest count, then daily updates on the number of embryos, quality.... And then it fails, and you have the worst period ever.

I hope your acupuncture hour is wonderfully relaxing, Grizzer. And lots of positive thoughts for your DD for getting her kidney looked at, and lots of positive vibes for you and the rest of your family too. Hope you manage to get in the mood for a bit of BD too!!

Hope everyone else is well and enjoying half term. FF

Morning everyone, still have everything crossed for you Fireflies, my only successful pregnancy didn't show til I was over a week late so you never know. My mum's side of the family all had early menopause & I've been worried as I've had a few very light periods. This last one was quite normal though so who knows what our bodies are up to!!

I am seeing a new acupuncturist today after a very good recommendation. I'm so looking forward to relaxing for an hour after all the illness & hospital trips. Sadly, that's not over yet - dd is going to GOSH on Thursday to be monitored ready for a kidney biopsy on Friday. She is now peeing blood. She is fine in herself though so I'm hoping once they've done the biopsy they can diagnose the issue & give the right treatment. What a worry!
I will be trying to muster up some enthusiasm for sex the day before we go as I'm due ov while she's in. Not sure sleeping in a chair by her bed is that great for baby making!!
Please send lots of positive thoughts for her on Friday x

Diege are you absolutely sure you're not going to have another one? Have one for me, maybe??

Hello Diege! I think he falls between your last two in age. I find it funny looking back at old photos. Makes me realise he's not quite so small these days!!

POAS and got a BFN. Am almost less concerned about that than change in cycle, unless genius fertility specialists can reverse menopause? Does anyone know so I can cling to that if it is possible? If AF does turn up it's going to be nasty.

I'm not absolutely convinced the test is right, but it's supposed to be 99% effective even if used 4 days prior to when AF due, and my uterus has been grumbling away for a couple of days now. As I'm already almost 2 days late I guess the chances of it being wrong are very slim. Fortunately I did a large internet shop last night so I can look forward to that tomorrow.

btgw Gum meant to say, posts back now, that your dcs are gorgeous. I can see why you want another!