Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

Oh Grizzer, I think having anything in moderation (except perhaps hard drugs) is ok. I think we beat ourselves up and make ourselves stressed by not enjoying the little things that make life pleasurable. I've been at this ttc lark for so bloody long that I think I might as well find a balance I can live with. For me that means coffee on Thursday and Friday mornings (it has become a bit of a family ritual to stop at our favourite coffee shop and pick up mochas before school. We all really look forward to it.)

I also like to have a drink with friends occasionally. I don't want to be the tea-totaller all the time, but my friends have gotten used to me just having one or two, but not every time.

Well, it seems that hypothyroidism in men can affect their sperm quality and quantity. And my DH's thyroid has been dicky since we started ttc this last baby. I remember asking a naturopath (after my first miscarriage) if my DH's thyroid issue (which back then was only borderline, hence him not being medicated til yesterday) might be a contributing factor to the miscarriage, she said, "highly unlikely".

I suppose finding out that it can impact on the sperm quality has actually given me a renewed sense of hope. Maybe that's a contributing factor, and now that he is medicated we'll hit the jackpot and actually make a healthy emby that stays the distance.

I am still acutely aware that I am 47,and my old eggs could be the issue, but I like feeling a little bit hopeful again.

I guess it may be 2 or 3 months til sperm improve (if it is in fact an issue) so I'll not be expecting a bfp just yet (but one at the end of the week would be ok).

Yesterday I spotted a numberplate on a car : 1BPF. I decided it was a message from the universe : 1 Big Positive Finally

I don't know if I'll ever lose the hope...

Just lost a very long post to you all by pressing 'next' accidently so now just waving & hope you're all ok.
Hope dd is ok Gum. Could it be a dairy issue or Crohn's?

Is the odd glass of wine really that bad Jass? I have a couple of work do's & was looking forward to a few glasses (don't want to arouse suspicions by refusing either!)
I've already given up coffee & that was/is a struggle. Don't make me lose the wine too!

Imdid ov on day 11, shagfest was over quickly this time. It may be agnus castus doing this to my cycle. but this is more like my cycles when i was young and tiresomely fertile, so no complaints at all! Will test next Wed or sth.....

JassS - it's tough isn't it, seeing people who fall pregnant and carry to term without doing any of the 'right' things. I find it difficult bumping into the mummies on my ante-natal group. The majority of them already have another one or two babies. If I succeeded having one then my plan was to have another as quickly as possible while I was still able. Life just doesn't seem to work out the way we want though sometimes.

Grinch I hope AF puts in an appearance soon for you.

Gum hope it's not the menopause, and that your DD and rest of family are feeling better soon.

I am feeling quite hollow today. CD 8 and monitor says fertility is low. This is very unusual for me. Never had that before. Seem to have missed ovulation 2 cycles ago, but my fertility is usually high at this point, with ovulation occurring over the next few days. I wonder if it's the supplements? I hope not. I will keep on with them for a bit. Am really feeling very worried. The only thing I can think is that my cycle is lengthening and therefore fertility will rise in a few days. Hope so.

Thanks Diege. Teaching obs confirmed what I already know, I am a legendary teacher For all the right reasons I should add! It is nice to hear from you. I commiserate on the exam marking (yuck!)I am busy at work writing reports now. Can't wait til all is done.

I have just got back from the doctors. We seem to be having a bad run with health of late. I took DD in to the doc as she's had a sore tummy for weeks now. We had hoped it would work itself out - I took her off gluten, but she's still struggling after 3 weeks off it. The doctor suggested a couple of things which I felt were unlikely as she hasn't got any diarreah (so I don't expect it is giardia or shigella), she just feels sick after eating mainly and doesn't want to eat much. I asked to have her checked for a stomach ulcer. He thinks it is highly unlikely, but I still want to check it, so now we need to organise a breath test. Sigh...DH has been sick with flu and went to see the doctor today too. He gave him a week off work (which is good, I think he needs a rest) and also told him he is hypo thyroid, so now he's on thyroxine. I am glad they've finally worked out why DH is quite lethargic a lot of the time.

I wonder if his thyroid issue can affect his sperm and ttc? I may have to visit Dr Google about that one too...

DS and DD also have this bloody flu. I really hope it is the cold I had a week or two ago, cos I really don't want to get sick too.

I wish everyone in my household could be well. I am sick of the illness

Just popping in to wave my pompoms I am in exam marking hell, and will be for at least another 3 weeks, but wanted to say hello and good luck! I am reading and keeping up - just crazily busy. Hope the teaching obs went ok Gum

Well, there's a couple of ideas from Dr google. One is that when progesterone drops, estrogen makes you more wide awake (don't like that explanation, but it makes sense) and two, that it is actually progesterone which causes vivid dreams, you wake up and it is hard to get back to sleep. I like the second explanation, and I might add, I've been having very vivid dreams. Can't actually remember them now though. I should write them down when I wake up...

Too right Grinch, we just have to keep going and keep hoping. There's always a chance that it will be the next egg that is a good one and is fertilised.

My boobs have been super tender, but other than that, I'm 7 dpo and not much going on, although I do have the early morning insomnia I sometimes get in the tww, which once meant a possible bfp, but now I don't think so. I wonder what causes it? I thought progesterone was supposed to make you sleepy, but I'm wide awake at 4 am unfortunately. I went to bed at 8 last night, because I'd already fallen asleep on the couch by then. So I suppose I did get around 8 hours sleep anyway.

I might google that, I'm curious...perhaps it is menopause, though I thought it was the hot flushes that caused the insomnia in menopausal women, and I've not been having any.

BTW Grinch, have you tried Agnus Castus? It might help bring on AF.

HAve a good day folks. I hope I don't feel too tired later on. I have someone coming into observe my class this morning. But I'm not really phased, as I think I'm alright as a teacher. Been doing it long enough...

Argh just lost my post!

in brief, then, before BG descends upon my quiet.

fireflies happy birthday to mini ff! Sounds like you had a lovely day.

Gum sounds as if your day was really relaxing too - very very important on this journey!

jass I know, sometimes things seem bloody upside down. My sister, who has no intention of having children, is still going strong at 50, while I seem to be hurtling towards early menopause. Sometimes I just don't get it!

Yup, AF never arrived, and it feels like i am onto my next cycle now. Got really depressed for a few days, then decided that, as I think someone on this thread said, you only need one ovulation and one good egg. So I will keep going. Acupuncture, supplements, diet, little alcohol, etc etc. I can only hope.

i seem to be ovulating early... day 10 only. Luckily i bothered this morning to dtd, so am covered at least. Drunk more than half a bottle of red wine tonight and feeling really carefree. Still using agnus castus to keep my cycle on track, but not doing much else to get upduffed....
I think I am ruining all my chances with wine, but the place I live has such relaxed standards - I went to visit a friend in maternity unit and noticed a heavily pg woman standing outside, with an IV drip in her veins/hand, smoking.... It makes me think all the discussion about healthy behaviour in pregancy is overrated. If these people here who drink and smoke through pg/bf period can have kids, then why not me? I have never smoked, I drink only occasionally some wine, run 50 km per week, cover myself with sunscreen and manage my stress... and I still bloody miscarry! Life is a weird animal......

Oh Fireflies, is he really two? I just can't believe it. Glad to hear you had a lovely day.

I am feeling pleased with myself because I had a nicer, higher temperature this morning, despite it being freezing cold. I think that might show as a bit of an addictive tendency doesn't it? That a temperature can make me feel happy...I'm such a sad-sack!

It has been pouring rain all weekend, but I don't mind at all. I went into town with DD for netball yesterday, managed a long swim at the pool, then came home, tidied up, lit the fire, baked all afternoon and watched a chic-flick with my dd's. Perfect day really. Today I plan on tackling the disgusting dirty bathroom (can't bear it anymore) and go off to knitting club this afternoon, hang out with a bunch of ladies, chatting, drinking wine (or tea in my case) and knitting. Ah, bliss....I'm easily pleased.

Counting my blessings tonight, exactly two years after DS was born. Had a wonderful day with him and DH.

Hope you're all doing well? About to have another slice of then off to bed.

Fertile, happy thoughts to all. FF

welcome, mumjoy. Try chinese medcine and/ or accupuncture maybe ro bring periods on? I have never had this problem and the only cycle regulator i know is agnus castus, but when cycle is absent I really have no idea... How long after you stopped BF?

Hi mummyjo. I started ttc when my DS was 10 months old, but I was breastfeeding and I think I had to wait another 8 months before I ovulated. It was tortuous. I googled and tried a few things, but nothing did the trick int he end. I just had to be patient.

How long did it take for AF to return with your other babies? I always had a long wait with each of mine.

In hindsight, I wish I'd weaned DS earlier (but I am not suggesting you do). It has just been a long and heartbreaking time ttc, for me.

You are still very young in my opinion. I am now 47. DS (my fifth) was conceived around my 41st birthday and born three months before my 42nd.

I am in the tww, Fertility friend says I am 5 DPO but I think maybe 4. Anyway, I am having the usual symptoms, which occasionally mean I am pregnant, but most of the time doesn't mean anything at all

I am glad it's almost the weekend. I am looking forward to some time out. Maybe I'll even try to meditate

Hi Mummy. Of course! The more the merrier! We could do with some more prolific posters.

Have a read of this: www.llli.org/nb/nbsepoct06p196.html and see what else Dr Google comes up with. I put in 'how long can breastfeeding prevent periods', and that was one of the links it came up with.

You could try charting and/or using ovulation sticks and see if you're ovulating, though the latter could be an expensive option if you're not ovulating at the moment.

I hope your stay with us is a short one and you get your BFP and baby number 5 soon. We have two other members of the group with five DCs so you're in good company. They get a bit addictive, don't they? I'm fast approaching 45 and hoping for DC2. Not that optimistic though.

Hello all! Can i join in? I have recently hit 40 and would like another baby! It would be my 5th :O :-D
Problem is, well i am not having periods. I put it down to extended breast feeding with baby 4.
Have had blood tests. Not menopausal. Thyroid ok. Other stuff ok too. So... Help! Any advice? Hope i can stick with you all.

Oh Grinch! That would be my idea of hell, having perma-PMT! Poor you. Yes, I think there does come a point when you're peri-menopausal when your periods start going up the creek one way or another. I am sure there are some herbal solutions which Dr Google might throw up. I'm sure you haven't missed the boat entirely. Have some and a decaff . I'm sure you'll be feeling better.

It was really very funny in Boots. He was waving big packets of condoms around at horrified Grannies. He specialises in kicking/kneeing DH in privates so perhaps we have our answer about DC2 quite conclusively!!

Better go, have train set to put out and a major toy avalanche to clear up. Never did get that nap either.

Green that all sounds really exciting, and it must be great to feel that something is happening!

Grizzer glad to hear that your DD is taking the medication well, bless her.

Fireflies I love the image of your DS industriously filling the basket. BG has a habit of taking a flying leap unerringly into DH's privates, and we wonder if that's his way of telling us to let him remain an only!

AFM, AF has STILL not put in an appearance. Never ever had this before. All PMS symptoms (which are worse in the morning), but nothing doing. Tested again, definitely not pregnant. All I can think is that one starts skipping periods at some point, yes? and Mother Nature has decided it would be a good laugh to make my first one the first month we start ttc. Now of course I worry that we have entirely missed the boat, and/or that I am going to have PMS for ever and ever...

London have a read of the OP here: www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=226042.0

Gum this is the same as before.

I have tried four times to post my list but it will only preview and jams when I try to publish. Oh well. It's as well to read the full post and put together your own list really as there are supps that should be taken together, supps that need to be taken on their own, and ones to take before ovulation and ones to take after ovulation.

Have looked at PQQ but am a bit dubious. Same for DHEA. Maybe will try in a few months.

DS sleeping so I am going for a nap. Was extremely naughty and stayed up till 1am drinking, so a big slap on wrist for that.

Fireflies, have you heard of the supplement ppq. I have added that to my list of supplements, but I've also stopped taking a lot of them.

These days (when I am not to busy and remember) I take:
Co q 10 800mg
pqq
Vit d
Folic acid (though I have heard folate is better)
Multi-V
Fish oil

I would like to hear what you are taking. I stopped taking the royal Jelly. Don't know why really. I guess I just got sick of taking a handful of tablets and still no baby. I stopped the DHEA too as the jury's out on that one, and it can dry up cervical mucus, which I already have trouble with.

Someone asked about Soy isoflavones? It is a "natural" clomid I've heard. I've not taken soy isoflavones, but I have done red clover Isoflavones, day 3-6 (I think) to produce a stronger ovulation. I honestly don't know if it made any difference. I don't think I was taking it last time I got pregnant (albeit a chemical). I think if you are ovulating then soy can mess it up, so I am not sure that I'd go down that road if you are already ovulating.

Fireflies, I agree about the meditation, I just need to make a little window of time and learn how to switch off.

FF would you mind sharing the supplements that you take?

Thanks.

Gum perhaps he's trying to tell me that he'd rather be an only child??!!

OMG, who can spend their days like that?? The only people who can live like that if they have families are the seriously rich who can afford to employ nannies, cleaners etc etc. Sadly I have to rub shoulders with some of them from time to time and hear them complaining how difficult it is with two kids, when the nanny has one of them most of the time.... And then there's the private yoga therapist who visits them at home twice a week...

If you do some research on stress and TTC then the findings are mixed. Some studies show stress can interfere with ovulation, other studies say it makes no difference. I guess it's best to try and reduce stress if you can to be on the safe side. The studies all deem alcohol as an inhibiting factor though.

I've read some very convincing things about meditation - that it frees you up energy wise so that you can deal with more, so is an investment of your time. It hasn't convinced me to give it a try though yet.

You're probably right, some acupuncture would help. We've had an unusually busy time these past few weeks so that's probably why it hit me so hard. Normally I try and lay off anything too strenuous in the days leading up to AF.

Am rattling now, am so full of supplements!! . Just wondering how much Q10 and Royal Jelly I can have a day. . They seem to be key for egg quality. Must dig out my shiniest dancing shoes soon too.

Fertile thoughts to all. FF

Lol, Fireflies, you'd hardly be stocking up on condoms!

I often think how glad I am that I haven't been trying to prevent pregnancy during my 40's, what a drag it would be. I wish that I could get pregnant with a healthy babe tho'

Sorry that AF caught up with you. Have you tried acupuncture? Not so much for fertility, but for your period making you feel so knocked out? I bet there would be some Traditional Chinese Medicine diagnosis that would help.

I had acupuncture last night and she was asking me loads of questions about my period, mainly about colour, quantity, clotting etc. Apparently it is a very good diagnostic tool, and can tell them a lot about where imbalances lie. She took my pulses (yep - there's more than one apparently ) and said they are quite flat, which isn't great, but she'd expect worse actually because of my busy lifestyle.

Without saying so much, she is of the opinion that my lifestyle isn't conducive to getting and staying pregnant. She thinks I have too much stress, am too busy and don't have enough time to nurture myself.

I suppose she's partly right. I do have a very busy life. But my health is pretty good, I still ovulate regularly, I take time to exercise and get a good night's sleep most night. But I can't give up work and spend long days relaxing, walking on the beach, making green smoothies, doing fertility yoga, meditating daily and visualising etc, etc.

Does stress really make a difference? I don't know. Are there examples of women getting pregnant after removing stress from their lives? I am pretty sure there are, but I know women get pregnant all the time in highly stressful situations.

Anyway, the acupuncture was fabulous. I was able to have a lovely relax for 30 minutes, and I came away feeling really good. It also seems to have sorted out the sciatica I had, though I won't speak too soon on that one, it could very well be back later today.

I have considered taking time every day to meditate. But I don't know where I'd find the time. Do you think the 30 seconds in bed before I nod off could be considered meditation???

Evening Ladies

Nope, haven't tried that one, willit. I did notice a load of it in Holland and Barrett this avo though in the Wimmins's section. Have you googled it? Is it the latest must have fertility supp? I thought Soy messed with your hormones in a bad way.

Glad your DD is getting there, Gizzer

Wow Green! looking forwad to the next update.

Someone up-thread was asking about cough medicine. Make sure it's got Gualfeisin in it. Makes CM slippery. Anything else will dry your CM up. I might go old skool and give grapefruit juice a go instead as I am going to be taking so many foul tasting supps. I have just invested in mega-dosage Evening Primrose Oil which also helps CM.

Great idea about the cup. I invested in one a couple of months ago but haven't been able to bring myself to use it. Going to give it a try very soon now!! Thanks v much for that genius idea!!

DH has been annoying me by downing caffeine, cider and having lengthy sauna trips post ovulation once he's sure he's done his bit! I'd been telling him I thought the caffeine etc could cause accumulative probs. Anyway found an article on how long they take to mature and, now he's seen in black and white that they are 72 days in the making he's knocking off the bad stuff completely.

I am so exhausted. AF put in very unwelcome appearance this morning. Leaves me feeling like I've been run over by a bus these days. Ugh. Still, armed myself with my list of supplements and have just about completed the set. 'Only' cost the best part of £100, but that is cheap compared to fertility treatments. Have got a weekly pill dosing box thingie and completely filled it this evening. Have 20+ to take a day. Hoping to see some success in a month or two. I think I must have started them in the July previously and got the BFP in the Sept.

When I was stocking up on ov sticks the other day DS was amusing himself in the aisles quietly. What I didn't realise was that he'd entirely filled my basket with multi-coloured lubes and assorted condoms!! Seriously, right up to the brim!! I quietly took out the things I really wanted, distracted him from the basket of lubes and condoms and moved on very quickly....

Hi to everyone else. Sweet dreams. FF

Hi all, just popping back for a quick question... have any of you tried taking soy isoflavones?