Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

JBrd, really hope the counselling session made you feel better.

Calibee, great to hear you are not giving up at all! Donor egg could be a solution, as the main problem is that your husband has no biological children, so it is more important to get him one than relying on your own genome - I totally understand that.

Irish, good to hear that all the scares came to nothing and you are a happy family!

I took the big step today and booked my scan. for next Monday. Actually, just booked an appointment with my doc, I know She will scan me. Of course before doing so I had to find something in my house to pee on, only to convince myself I stll have hcg in my (very diluted afternoon) pee. Remember - I am a highly educated professional, normally calm and sane, who already 5 days ago got 3+ on CB digi, and I needed to check again today. Fully aware that even if I am incubating an empty egg, it would still give strong positive. But it was still reassuring to see that the stick had almost black test line before the control line appeared. Monday will be a big terrible fall off my cloud nine if there is just a blighted bloody ovum again.

Off to other end of the country tomorrow, am a bit tired of sitting on the beach and decided to go down south to visit some friends and sit on lakeside beaches instead the seaside. No water is no option, i am weak on heat tolearnce even if not pg, and we are having the heatwave from hell. About 1000km south of polar circle only and temperatures stay on the wrong side of 30. With daylight being 17 hours long..... And I still have stretchy feelings, though my breasts are not too sore. Worrying.

*jbrd...yes it was the first time to Grenada. A very eye opening and humbling experience I must say. As part of the commonwealth, I guess I expected a modern, somewhat similar experience to the UK....how wrong I was. It was however a very beautiful country, full of beautiful happy (mostly) people, who appear to live life on a totally different timescale to the UK.
We were told the waiting list for IUI was about 3 to 6 months, this was in June, so hopefully things will be underway sooner rather than later.
Good luck with the session today, let us know how you get on.

*Irish...so happy for you. You are indeed very blessed x

Hello everyone!
Grinch so sorry to hear your bad news, hope your ERPC went as well as it could today and that you have plenty of support at this difficult and heart breaking time.
Fireflies sorry for the loss of your FIL too, even when you're "grown up", the loss of a parent is still very hard, hope your DH is ok.
Green how are you doing now? How exciting to see twins on the scan!
*Jass" , everything sounds promising, when are you going to have a scan?
Your daughter's wedding sounds like a wonderful occasion.
JBrd hope your counselling goes well tomorrow, I'm sure it will be emotional but hopefully talking will help. Good luck with stepping back on the ttc rollercoaster! I never found out the cause of any of my losses as I was refused testing on the NHS due to age. I don't know if taking aspirin helped or it was just a coincidence that after four miscarriages I went on to have a normal,healthy pregnancy , but it obviously can happen (even at 45!) , I hope it does for you too x
calibee glad you had a good holiday. I'm sure you'll miss your DH now, it's such a long time to be apart but it's great you can have the IUI, good luck with it all!
Big wave to gum ,"Diege" and any of the original thread members still lurking! x
I'm doing fine, slightly sleep deprived and still a bit overweight but feel so blessed to have little DD3. She's a really happy baby, very smiley and chuckly and doted on by her siblings. I'm the oldest mum at playgroup but it doesn't bother me at all and she doesn't seem to mind !
Sending positive vibes to all those TTC x

Hello all....sorry to have been quiet, its been such a busy time. I've not had chance to read up properly but I believe there are some congrats in order....oh and *Green...TWINS?? Wow!!! Fantastic news. Not so good news for some though sadly as is always the case in this group unfortunately :(.
AFM...I have just returned from a lovely 2 week holiday in the Caribbean with DH's family, where I had the most fantastic time and didn't want to come home for sure. Dh left for a 7 month tour of duty in Afghanistan yesterday and I am on the waiting list for IUI. I realise the odds of IUI working are very slight as it obviously doesn't tackle my poor quality eggs but I am of course very greatful for the chance whilst hubby is away. We have made the decision to go down the donor egg route once this tour is over (if IUI is unsuccessful)...I really feel time is on its last few ticks now.

JBrd, the egg seldom has the makings of the common chromosomal diseases - Down, Edwards, Kleinefeldter, Turner - the syndroms are more related to the egg meeting with sperm and then the first mitotic divisions. Hence, the term "bad egg" is not in this sense exact at all. The possibility of a genetic disorder rises with age, true, but very much depends on how it "activates", which happens about 3 months before it releases. The science does not know why and for which biochemical factors things start to go wrong, but an egg asleep is not likely to have the makings of a common syndrome. These are dupications/ lack of a chromosome or big part of it normally. The type which is already predetermined in egg is a rather random and small deletions of part of individual genes or really small pieces of chromosomes, but none of these deletions or duplications are tested as causes of common syndromes. true, they may kill a fetus, but then the common screening results return a "normal" result.
That is why taking wellman and wellwoman conception or sth similar may help. Also, women who fall pg quite often in later years, are usually those who are less selective to "refuse" a fetus with a prolem. Some endometriums are better at this screening and some are worse. The women who rarely fall pg are "choosy", the instadiffers are not at all picky, they try to grow everything which looks like fertilised egg. i really do not know which category is better, both have their pitfalls. Having a baby is such an impossibilty, if you think about it......:-)

I am now 6w3d and still no spotting or any indications this is not a "real pg", with a fetus and everyhting. Stretching pains, sore boobs constantly. At my daughter's wedding there were loads of bumps and I felt a bit sly for having the same dream as these young beautiful creatures - I am a mother in law, for godsake, so what am I doing trying to walk in their shoes.....
The wedding though was beautiful. Little brothers handed over the rings, the whole event was not in town, but full countryside close to sea, an isolated party place with all the facilties to have a comfortable party for at least 150 people. Perfectly sunny day. A bit hot, but nothing to ruin make-ups and hairstyle or make elderly grannies too exhausted. Very well thought out program, smooth organisation, not too overpowering party manager (these tend to be sometimes too boisterous and propose ridiculous games to amuse the crowd, but this time it was really tastefully managed). The first waltz was one I suggested, very different from what is normally used, but suited this couple perfectly. You can youtube it "Orelipoiss, valss", if anyone is interested:-) All centuries-old traditions were honoured, but food was modern and very good:-)

Fireflies, I am so sorry to hear the news of your DFIL. It is sad that there is family crap to deal with too. It seems common that it surfaces after a loved one has passed.

Thanks for reminding me about the "zero" noodles I still have in the cupboard. I had forgotten all about them. Apart from the smell (fishy) before they are rinsed off, they are quite palatable. However, I have learnt that they can't be reheated in the microwave. I once made a soup and added the noodles, then reheated at work.The noodles had turned into a plastic like,hard substance, which was inedible! Won't do that again.

I used them a bit when I was doing the 5:2. That diet really does work for shifting weight.But like all diets - if you stop, the weight comes back. I keep starting it again, only to fail, I just can't find two days a week when starving works for me

I have been trying to keep up with low carb/moderate protein as is recommended for ttc, and for the most part it is working, I certainly feel less bloated. I decided to make it doable I'll allow one carby day a week (Sunday), so yesterday I made bread, had a couple of gluten free cookies and had mashed potato with dinner. Yum! I enjoyed it, but I have to admit to feeling rather bloated and farty! That may also be related to AF turning up.

So another month begins for me. Not sure how much longer I'll do this, but right now I am happy to see what happens. I still can't seem to remember to take my supplements all the time. But I'll make a bigger effort, and maybe DH's thyroid meds will be working and making his swimmers a bit more Phelps-like.

Jbrd, although we are born with a finite number of eggs, I have read over and over that we can make a difference to their quality through supplements and lifestyle. This may not be true, but I like to think it is.Only you know if you can go through the terrible roller-coaster that is TTC. I know it must be overwhelming, but you can go at your own pace. I hope you'll continue the counselling? It sounds really helpful.

It is Monday here - I need to get motivated to go to work. Yesterday was such a good day: I had a couple of hours of back breaking work in the garden, weeding and tidying, as well as making chicken stock, beef casserole, bread (gluten free and normal) and yoghurt. I also did the weekly menu and shopping whilst sitting in front of the fire (I love online shopping!). So I feel relaxed today.

Love to all xxx ( waving to Calibee, mumalah, irish, mozzamama and others I've not seen for a while)

Thank you Jass and Jbrd for your kind words about DFIL. It is another tough time for us to deal with, but I think we will come out of it as a stronger couple.

Jass how was the wedding? Or did I miss your post on that? I will always regret not going to my Estonian friends wedding in Tallin. Sounded fantastic, and I bet your daughter's was too.

Jbrd the noodles/rice/pasta stuff is a very low calorie food substitute. One portion has about 20 calories. I devised the absolutely 'delicious' recipe for my lunch today all by myself . Yes, it's a bulking fibre which fills you up for minimal calories.

WRT your thoughts on egg quality, have a read of this; natural-fertility-info.com/increase-egg-health . I have scanned it and seems to contradict what you're thinking. I don't know if this is what you want to know, but it does seem that you can affect the quality of eggs to some degree in the 90 days prior to them being released. The 90 day thing ties in with other recommendations that supps need to be taken for about 3 months to be effective for women. One of the Lister specialists recently was quoted as saying that making sure the environment that eggs mature in is key.

I suspect you probably have the strength to cope with whatever life throws at you as you continue TTcing. I think you'll know when the time is right to stop. I learnt a lovely saying from one of our former members. 'If you're not happy, it's not the end of the story'. Or something like that.

Fab afternoon here with DNeice out at botanical gardens, and then back to ours for a Barbie. And DS actually wanted to go to sleep earlier tonight which has given me a bit of a break. Think it's because the weather's cooling off. Will make the most of it and get to bed soon and catch up on some rest and sleep.

Sweet dreams all. FF xx

Fireflies, sorry to hear your sad news.

Hey all

Sorry for the radio silence. Thanks for asking after me Gum. DFIL passed away 8 days ago and I haven't felt like posting since then. Apart from the obvious grief there's a whole host of family c**p been thrown up into the mix so it's been quite a trying and tiring time.

Grinch so sorry to hear your sad news. I hope you are doing ok in the circumstances, and that you recover quickly from the ERPC.

Green wow! Twins?? Amazing.

Jbrd you could take Alpha Lipoic Acid too. I've taken most of my supplement info from here: www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=226042.850 Go to the OP for full info. She has good info on what men should take as well.

Gum fermented fish oil??!! !! However, I will look into it and see if I can bear to add it to the list.

I have discovered and tried the revoltingness that is 'Eat Water, Slim Pasta/Noodles/Rice'. Fairly evil stuff, but I had a large bowl full of noodles with a handful of prawns, steamed veggies and sweet chili sauce, and reckon it had probably the same calories as a slice of bread, and disguised like that it was quite paletable. I had better order a good supply as I need to lose a lot of weight.

No 2WW for me, but I'm kind of glad, like some of the others of you not to have the stress for a change.

Off to meet my neice soon so lots to do before we leave. Waves and big hugs to you all. Sorry not to name check you all, though I guess my thorough posts can be a little dreary sometimes though. FF xx

Jbrd, you are not crazy at all. There's a very good chance that your next pregnancy will be your THB. If if you don't try, you will never know. Take those supplements you mentioned. I think if you aren't taking Vit D, then it is a good idea. Many people are deficient in it, even Australians who have heaps of sun. I had been taking a fish oil supplement that is supposed to be extra good as it is fermented (sounds ghastly but isn't) but it is expensive and I started taking regular fish oil, I've decided to order some more as I believe it is also high in vitamin D and pretty good for the immune system.

If you can be bothered, there's quite a good transcript to read here about nutrition and supplements for conception.

Grinch, I hope all goes well for you on Monday, though I know how sad a time it is for you.

Grizzer, are you going away to butlins for a holiday? Have fun, nice not to have to worry about drinking etc.

Well, it seems I was right about when I ovulated.Tiniest amount of blood this morning, will be full flow tomorrow I expect. I guess we really didn't get enough swi happening in the run up to it, and the one off time we did may have been too late, but that's ok. At least I know now that O might not happen til day 16, which means my cycle may be lengthening (another death nell to fertility I think). Hey ho, not much that I can do about it.

I hope everyone is enjoying the weekend. I am planning to spend some time in my garden today (if the weather holds off, it rained most of yesterday), also have some cooking planned, and the laundry to get through. Happy Days !!

Good for you JBrd, I don't think you're crazy at all. I don't have any advice about vitamins or anything but I think just go for it! I know it's impossible not to worry but I'm sure it can happen. I've was told at our 12 week scan with dd that she possibly had Edwards syndrome but almost certainly downs. She had neither and is perfectly fine. My next dd was downs but she didn't survive. I guess the odds are against me too but I know there is another baby in my future and I just believe in relaxing and trying not to worry. We know we are strong women and can deal with whatever may happen, no matter how heart breaking it is. I think it will be worth it in the end xx

Thank you all for your thoughts and good wishes. I have the ERPC on Monday, and will be back again after that. In the meantime I am lurking away and reading everyone's posts .

Hi all, hope you're all ok in the heat (for those of you experiencing it). I like it but dd is very grumpy and not sleeping well at night.
Grinch I'm so sorry to read your news. I hope you are able to rest and take some time for yourself. Thinking of you.
JBrd I'm glad you have some answers even if it's not really a solution. Hope you're getting the support you need and the counselling goes well.
Jass I'm quietly excited for you. Enjoy your daughter's wedding x
Green twins?? So lovely. Everything crossed that all will be well with both babies.
Gum maybe the month you don't feel pregnant will be the month....
No tww for me this month which is actually quite nice. Dh is away so we've only dtd once! We are off to butlins on Monday so I can relax & drink wine & coffee without worrying. Back on it next month & who knows, after a month without thinking about it I might get lucky!
Enjoy the weekend everyone xx

Green - what fabulous news: twins. How exciting, I hope that all continues to go well.

Jass, I am so pleased that things are progressing for you. It certainly brings me hope, when you've had so many early losses, maybe this one is your little miracle!

Thanks for asking after me Diege. I am amazed every morning when I wake up and have another (reasonably) high temperature. However I took a test today and it is very negative (Bah, humbug!). I am now of the opinion that I didn't ovulate until after I got back from my little trip, either on the Sunday or Monday, which makes me 11 or 12 DPO. It is usually 12 DPO when the temp drops off, the boobs stop being tender and I know AF will show her face. So I am probably only 11 dpo and tomorrow I'll lose the tender boobs, metallic taste in my mouth, cravings for carbs and get a low temp. We shall see. Despite those few symptoms (common inthe tww for me) I don't feel pregnant.

Fireflies, how are you?

Oh Grinch, that is sad news. I am so sorry. Be sure to come and talk to us if you need to. Always here to hold you hand. xxx

Poor Grinch, so sorry for you......You had no warning signs? Bleeding or anything? it must be the most terrible thing to go for scan and find out there and then that everything is broken..... Hope the resolution at least will be quick.....

Green that is indeed brilliant news! Twins!! Everything crossed for you. Jass, for you too, exciting that it is going up.

As for me, I'm afraid it is bad news. Had the scan today and there is no heartbeat. Looks like it was twins, and the first didn't survive very long at all, while the second made it to 8 weeks. Just off to dr to discuss options now.

Everything crossed for both of your twins, Green! I hope they will both pull through! And that there will be no more bleeds. Are you still on progesterone suppositories as well? If not, maybe it might be good to ask for them? How high is your progesterone count? Since you are not avoiding doctors as me you could pester them a bit.....

Wow green that's very exciting news! A lot to take in and, as you say, deep breath and try to take it easy until the next scan xxx
Jass very happy to read your update - cautiously excited for you!
How are things going gum? xx

Ooh jass I have everything crossed - it sounds positive.... Enjoy your daughters wedding - congratulations on both counts!

jbrd I know exactly what you mean - yes if they diagnosed something they could treat it would be so much more, well, practical in terms of moving forward. Have you had any more thoughts on TTC again?

Well we had a bit of a scare - I had a bleed Sunday and Monday (and I mean bright red blood which soaked through my panty liner then stopped). Called up the early pregnancy unit who have me listed due previous miscarriages and they got me in for a scan on Tuesday....I was warned that at 5wks 4days it was unlikely they could see much but wanted to see if they could locate the source of the bleed. And you could see the sac and yolk - both of them . One is bigger than the other and no embryos could be seen yet. They could see what she described as an implantation bleed. I was relieved but remain cautious - it just feels so precarious even if these babies are not made of my dodgy eggs

So I am trying to stay positive and my next scan is next Friday afternoon. I have been advised that bleeding in early pregnancy is common but especially so in twin pregnancies and that in the case of twins not all of them might make it (so the smaller sac might not develop further etc.). So deep breaths and carry on......

grinch good luck for the scan today. Let us know how you get on?