About to start / Just started TTC no.2 (part 4)

Morning! My last day with DD before going back to work. :-( Don't like to think about it. But at least she will be with DH / MiL, not in a nursery. So it could be worse.

I'm sure once I get into the secondment next week and get busy, I'll be better at dealing with it. And I'm sure DD won't mind if I'm there or not.

Good luck with OV this weekend, Engels.

I love all the travel talk! Engels, we went to Iceland on honeymoon. It's amazing! Everyone should go!

Mrs, how did last night go? Seems you made progress the night before.

DD slept for 10.5 hours last night. She's never done that before. Hopefully she will keep at it now I'm back at work. Probably not though!

Better, I think nursery at 3 is good for kids. I won't mind sending DD then, I don't think.

Wow ginger travelling sounds amazing! Anywhere specifically? Any luck with the opks yet?

On the subject of nursery mrs & ginger dd will be 3 in jan & will start properly for the 15 hours they have to do in April next year. The pre school we've applied for does 2 full days & 1 morning which we think will be a big jump considering she's only ever been at home, so we're going to hopefully start the 2 or 3 mornings the term before to ease her in. I'm dreading it already, I'd keep her at home until school if I could! (I know I still could refuse to send her but would be worried school would seem like a mountain to her socially, especially as the vast majority of others will have done their 15 hours for a year)

Good luck with ov this weekend calling!!

How are you feeling about tomorrow hungry?

How's everyone else?

loves I think that knowing you're going to stay is a big motivation thing for learning a language. I knew that staright away so dived straight in with evening classes (I found working on my own from books/cds just didn't work for me).

Everyone said that it must have helped having a Dutch DH. Well, to be honest he didn't help very much since he has no patience and is a terrible teacher and we always just end up speaking English together (even in the beginnign when I was desperate for him to speak Dutch so I could practice). owever, having Dutch ILs really ehlped as FIL doesn't speak any English and MIL's English was so basic that after 3 months my Dutch was better than her English.

I know I need to use it more but guess the older DS gets the more I'll speak (with teachers and his friends etc.).

DS is bilingual but thinks that all children speak Dutch. He was switchign between English to my parents and Dutch to the other kids in the playground when we were in the UK alst weekend. Very funny to listen to!

Okay, really have t get on with marking and reports now.

Morning :)
How did your night go Mrs ?
Ginger, Engels yes everyone speaks excellent English which is why we have been so lazy but I know that now we are planning to stay it will definitely improve our quality of life especially at my work and for DS, I have scary images of him plotting some mischief with his friends in Norwegian and me not having a clue!
Ginger you definitely are going to have another baby because I am definitely going to have another baby and we are cycle buddies!! I will do your positive thinking for now and you can return the favour when I’m convinced it will never happen for me, which if previous form is anything to go by will be in approx. 10 days!!

My ds will be 3 in October as well. He goes to nursery 2 days a week when I'm working (or on half term!) and he loves it. Saves my sanity!

I love living here mrs . Holland is quite an expensive country, comparable with UK I guess, though some things are cheaper (wine in supermarket - the same bottle will cost £6 in the UK and €6 over here) and some things more expensive (petrol). But I think the work life balance is better - the right to parental leave for both parents (though DH's is unpaid as he's in the private sector). Much more of a part-time culture for parenst with young children, which doesn't really exist in the same way in the UK, subsidised childcare (though it used to be more generous).

The Netherlands definitely has its problems but I like it and can't imagine being in the UK again. The south east, where my family lives, is so crowded and expensive.

ginger I met DH travelling in south america, then he visited me in New Zealand before I headed to Oz then back to Europe to move to NL. We went on a few more travels (Vietnam, the States) before having DS, and we took him on his first adventure in NZ last summer for month. Both DH and I did a lot of travelling before we met as well: me - Oz, Interailing in Europe, Canada and New York. DH - Israel, Cuba. I'd love to go back to the states, NZ, Canada (we were planning a trip across Canada when I found out I was pg), Peru, Bolivia, Chile. And so many places still on my list:Iceland, Scandinavia, Cambodia and Thailand, Argentina, Brazil, the Carribean.

Too many places on my wishlist! I think that when you have kids you have to think carefully, especially if they're school age - makes it a bit more complicated. DS was fine in NZ but I can't imagine taking him to Asia or SA for an extended period at this age. Plus, after our hols last year we're a bit skint! This summer will definitely be Europe. Maybe Northern Italy/Austria or just the UK (we'll come to the UK anyway to visit my family).

Though maybe we should organise a big trip...sure fire way to get pg is to have other plans! When ttc DS we put our lives on hold for 18months and didn't go outside NL and UK, then were so fed up we started planning Canada only to find I was pg. Decided a month road trip may not be very comfy at 6months pg so went to Lake District instead (and got married in NL).

Babymaking in full swing here. Need to get my opksout, reckon am ov this weekend.

Hi Ginger - How are you feeling? I didn't know you and your DH were thinking of travelling around the world, how amazing! And not something you could do easily with a new baby. You definitely will have another baby, that's for sure, it's just taking a little longer than you had hoped it would. Honestly try not to worry about the baby thing, the more you relax about it the more likely it is to happen. So your DD will be 3 in November and my DS will be 3 in December so they're very close in age. I am thinking about nursery or preschool for when my DS turns 3, so he'd start next January and I was thinking the same as you, a couple of mornings to see how he gets on. I agree it will be good for their development and I think my DS would enjoy it. He got weighed today and is exactly two stone which they said was spot on and he's 90cm talk which is apparently just above average so that was all good . I'm glad your DD's 2 year review went well too. Talking of travelling... I couldn't now but I always wanted to go on safari and fancied either Kenya or South Africa but not really possible with an extending family but hopefully one day.

Ah crap just deleted a post.
Mrs Engels is in the Netherlands, Cake is in Norway and Swede is in South Africa, we are a right multicultural bunch! I would love to live in a different country, we are hoping to go travelling around the world in a couple of years, so I have that to look forward to and keep me going if we never have another baby. We have a pretty rubbish work/life balance at the moment, DH especially, so hopefully we can improve that.
Mrs good luck with DS' checkup, DD had hers the other day, everything was fine and she was given some free books to take home. Have you thought about preschool or nursery yet for him? We are thinking of putting DD in preschool two mornings a week come september, she will be 3 in the november, I think it will be good for her social skills and confidence but I'm reluctant to let go of my only baby!
Cake does everyone speak excellent English? You've done well to last two years with not speaking norwegian! Will be a fun challenge to learn it though. Do you work out there too?
Mrs glad you had some progress with the bedtime routine, any progress is good progress as they say. Stay strong and keep at it! My DD still has a dummy at night, before I had her I thought a dummy at the age of 2 was terrible, but as you say you just do what works for your family, and I haven't been brave enough to try and get rid of it yet!

How is everyone else today?

Hi Engels and loves - well a bit of improvement on night two I think. Took DS up to bed at 7.30pm and he has his bottle and fell asleep straight away in the new bed and u actually managed to creep out at 8.22pm (to be precise) and he slept in his own bed until 10.45pm. I know that's not ages but it's something. He wasn't heartbroken when he woke up, he just came through to our room and climbed in. I'm hoping if he sleeps maybe a bit longer tonight and then a bit longer each night we might get there eventually. It was never going to be easy or happen after one night.
Engels - I was asleep when DS joined me in bed and I was too tired to out him back but at least he's getting to know where his room is and which is his bed. How long have you been in the Netherlands? Is the quality of life much better? I always think it must be exciting to live somewhere different outside of the UK.
Loves - i didn't know you weren't meant to give them a bottle at bed time but I won't be stopping that as we've always done it and I think it acts as a comforter as well as fills them up. I don't know how my DS would go to sleep at all if he didn't have a bottle. The thing is, I think you have to let them guide you as well and do what you feel is right. For all I've quite liked our health visitor that we've had all way through with my DS, I can't say that I always agree with every single thing they say to do and not to do. Have to take my DS to the baby clinic to be weighed today and have his height checked as part of his two year review. Are both Loves and Engels in Norway?

Mrs DS woke up last night at 11, just as we were going to bed. It took me an hour to settle him (he may have been settled earlier but I may have fallen asleep in the chair!) then he still woke up at 3.30am and after only 3 and ahlf hours sleep I wasn't really feeling like getting up again so I just let him stay. We didn't shut his door, but shut our door (whihc he can open - but we can hear him opening it so means he can't sneak in like a ninja).

It's not easy! (well, it's easy to say what you're going to do, but not always easy to do it!). I'll see how it goes again tonight.

loves I love living outside the UK. Have just been back for a weekend (do miss British supermarkets and shops, my family and the countryside) but can't imagine living anywhere else but the Netehrlands now. I would really recommend learning language though, has opened a lot more doors for me and people seem friendlier when they know that I can speak Dutch (even though I speak English most of the time for my job - teacher). Work/life balance is great. DH and I are both part-time so DS is in nursery 2 days a week (which is subsidised by the government so reasonable)

Morerum Hope your LO is feeling better DS had hand foot and mouth last month and it looked horrid I thought it was impetigo and cleaned the house like a mad woman!! Then DH got it as well, he was in agony could hardly walk.
ginger We ended up in Norway because of DH work, originally british and now we love it especially the work/ life balance here.
Mrs hope you have a good night tonight, I always think if something works for your family that’s all that matters. We still give DS a bottle to get him to sleep and that apparently is a big no no? I figure if he’s 18 and he still needs a warm milk to get to sleep that’s not the worst thing !! So hope you find an arrangement that suits you all.
Engels hope you had a lovely trip away and swede FX for the quickest week ever for you

Hi everyone,
Morerum - I remember you saying about a tv in your DD's bedroom. I will have to get a tv put on the wall or something as he does like tv before bed. I'm sorry to hear about you DD having hand foot and mouth, I hope she is not too poorly. Someone at work told me their twins had it only a couple of weeks ago and I had never heard of it.
Engels - you are right, I'll take your advice on board. You do have to do what's best to get a decent nights sleep.
I've decided after last night, although not a great success (which you can't expect after night one anyway) that I must be consistent with every night now in order to give it a really good try. If it becomes stupid and by the end of march I still haven't managed it then I might just have to accept that it's not going to happen right now. Tonight we had a practice run at pancakes, mainly because I fancied them and they were yummy. I wonder why we never think to have them any other time. Is everyone having pancakes tomorrow?
Swede - I bet next Monday can't come soon enough for you! I'm sure everything will be fine and you'll come out of there really happy.
Hungry - are you all ready for Thursday?

Better yes, just waiting to get a +ve opk then I will book my blood tests for a week after that. Getting quite a bit of cm so hopefully it will be in the next couple of days...
cake sounds like our cycles are at similar stages! I can't be bothered dtd lots this time though, got a friend staying over tonight too so doubt there will be any BD tonight! Good luck to you, for DH! How did you end up living in Norway? Are you British yourself? I am asking as I am very jealous! DH and I have decided we would love to go and live in one of the scandinavian countries, maybe in a year or two...
Ah mrs it is so hard knowing what to do for the best. I think only you know yourself what will work for you and DS, good luck to you though, hope you manage to get him settled in his own bed before the next one comes along, and if not maybe a newborn baby will be enough to make him want to go to his own bed to get some sleep
Engels do you think it was putting him in his own bed that was the problem? I am thinking of moving DD into a big girl bed, but we are lucky with how well she sleeps so don't want to rock the boat...or the bed!

mrs DS was sleeping through the night at 4 months until he turned 2 and was in a big bed. Total disaster! bedtime became a drama and he wouldn't settle.

We gradually phased from lying down with him in his bed till he fell asleep, to sitting on the chair next to him, on the end of the bed, by the door and now we put him to bed and stand just outside the door. he says, "mama's here?" and I tell him I'm there and he's out like a light within 5 minsutes. Still wakes up every night and ends up in with us - I'm going to try putting him back this week since I'm on half term, but if it doesn't work then I'm not going to carry on next week when I'm back to work.

You have to do what works for you, and don't blame yourself. I think with babies and toddlers you just have to do what you have to do to survive and get through the week!

swede sorry to hear you've been unwell. Take care of yourself.

gingerbread sorry hear you've been feeling down. I remember the feeling well when we were ttc DS. It seems like everyone's poking their nose in, unwelcome comments, every woman and her dog is pg. Big hugs.

Sleeping in a hotel room with DS was not really an ideal time to DTD - luckily not ov yet!

mrs I think I may have said before but we put a tv in dds room and bit worked really well just buy cheap peppa pig and ben and holly dvds to keep her going. I doubt she would go to bed away either. it probably goes against all the baby books but it worked for us! good luvk and please don't stress!
dd has hand foot and mouth disease was at oncall docs yday. its not dangerous just contagious and horrible looking
hooe everyone else has a good start to the week.
gingerbread hope that you are feeling better xx

Thanks for the advice Ginger and Better and Hungry, I know about all those techniques but none are really possible because of the habit and routine that I stupidly have got my DS into. He's used to getting into bed with me and has his bottle and then when he's asleep I lay him next to me in our bed. So putting in his own bed awake and sitting on a chair or on the bed etc is no good. I will still have to get in with him and just keep trying like last night to creep out once he's asleep and hope we get there. Personally I think it's been left far too late and I don't think it will happen by June but if it doesn't, it doesn't, just means it will be very hard work when my new baby is here. I have only myself to blame.

Morning, ginger we are just heading into DH's favourite part of the cycle - DTD marathon !! Then my least favourite part the waiting bit... I'm concentrating on carrying on with renovations on the house and learning Norwegian (we have lived here for two years so my lack of knowledge is shocking!) in an attempt to not fixate on that thing that i'm not really bothered about at all ..............

Better, an anterior placenta is at the front, so masks movements and kicks, like a shock absorber, so you don't feel them as much / as early. I don't like it!

I felt DD from 11 weeks, and every day. Posterior placenta then though. I've felt a little bit with this one, but nowhere near as much as last time. I think it can move, but whether it will is something else. Obviously once baby is bigger you're more likely to feel it anyway. :-)

Ah, mrs, it must be hard for you. DS will get used to it, but as Better said, it's likely to be a tough few nights. Probably a good idea to do it now you've finished work.

Gingerbread describes the gradual retreat method. If you want my copy of No Cry Sleep Solution, let me know and I'll send it across to you.

Hungry just looking at the state of our garden makes me feel exhausted, never mind getting out there to do something about it! I did have a bit of a baking frenzy yesterday though, will have to make the most of eating cake until wednesday!! Will your placenta move at any point? Did you have the same with DD? I didn't feel DD moving until about 17 weeks, but I have heard that you feel second babies sooner, I'm sure you'll be feeling that squirming pretty soon.
Sorry you didn't have any luck last night mrs, I think it's just going to be a game of perseverance so don't give up too soon. It reminds me a bit of one of supernannys techniques; put your DS to bed, then sit on the bed with him, then gradually and very slowly move further away from the bed sitting on the floor with your back to them, just a few steps every 15 - 30 mins or so, keep moving away until you get to the door, then sit outside the door for a bit. If they cry or shout for you you have to just ignore it but keep sitting there, and hope they will eventually lie back in bed and drift off to sleep. It will take hours but it gives them the reassurance of you physically being there, without the need for constant cuddles. I'm pretty lucky with DDs sleeping habits now, but when she was younger I really used to have restrain myself from giving in and just picking her up to cuddle her to sleep when she wouldn't fall asleep, you have to be strong with yourself and don't give in!! Have you researched various sleeping techniques online?

Morning everyone.

gingerbread I'm so sorry you've been feeling down, I have nothing helpful to say because I'm sure I'd be the same. I hope you can manage to relax like you're trying to but I know that's so much easier said than done. Did you say the gp was sending you for blood tests?

Ah mrs I'm sorry you're having trouble with ds & sleeping. Not sure you helpful this is & you probably already know but I think it's just going to be a case of being tough and it'll be a few hard nights with lots of tears but you'll get there. I think the key is once you've decided to truly do it, don't give in then & take him into your bed or next time he'll cry twice as long thinking you're going to give in.

Good effort with the cleaning hungry we had a really productive weekend but consequently I'm knackered now!! Could not get up this morning. What's the deal with the anterior placenta? Is that unusual? I'm not familiar with placenta stuff!!

Gingerbread, I'd wait til Weds. You can say you're giving it up for Lent then. May make it psychologically easier! :-)

And I'm nowhere near superwoman! I didn't do everything I wanted to do with regards to sorting. The house is clean and the garden is tidy though. :-)

Swede, how are you today? Did you go back to work?

Hi to everyone else.

I'm bored of having an anterior placenta now...I just want to feel my baby moving. :-/ Can't help but worry. Argghhh.

Morning everyone, hope you are all ok. Well I tried last night to get DS in his new bed in his own room. I managed to get him in the bed, I got in with him and managed to give him a bottle and get him off the sleep... But I then had to lay in the bed with him for hours as every time I tried to quietly climb out he reached for me and would cry. In the end I had to choice but to carry him back to our bed where he slept all night with me and DH. I'm not doing a very good job and feel quite down about this as I will have a new baby here I'm just 3 months or so and don't think I will ever get DS in his own bed as he's so used to sleeping with me. It's a worry as how will I manage feeding a baby with DS in bed with me? Don't know what to do, guess I'll have to try again tonight but it feels like he'll only sleep if I'm in the bed with him.

Morning everyone, hope you are all ok. Well I tried last night to get DS in his new bed in his own room. I managed to get him in the bed, I got in with him and managed to give him a bottle and get him off the sleep... But I then had to lay in the bed with him for hours as every time I tried to quietly climb out he reached for me and would cry. In the end I had to choice but to carry him back to our bed where he slept all night with me and DH. I'm not doing a very good job and feel quite down about this as I will have a new baby here I'm just 3 months or so and don't think I will ever get DS in his own bed as he's so used to sleeping with me. It's a worry as how will I manage feeding a baby with DS in bed with me? Don't know what to do, guess I'll have to try again tonight but it feels like he'll only sleep if I'm in the bed with him.

Rum thank you for your flowers and kind words! I can't imagine how crap you must have felt in all those months, so happy it happened for you straight away this time. I think you're right with the putting too much pressure on myself. I am making a real concerted effort this month to just relax. I feel like I did that last month, but maybe not well enough. It probably helps that this month and next month wouldn't be an ideal time to conceive anyway but Im not going to stop altogether. Hopefully just by not fixating on it quite so much it will work for us! I am going to shake myself off and give myself a break for two months!!

Hope you enjoyed your prawn crackers mrs!

I have just started trying to give up sugar as of yesterday, although I'm now thinkiing I should wait until wednesday, after pancake day and today I did some baking as a friend is coming round tomorrow night and has requested cake!!!

Hungry you do realise you are actually superwoman???

How is everyone else? cake where are you up to in your cycle? engels how are you getting on? swede how are you? Anyone else still lurking....?