About to start / Just started TTC no.2 (part 4)

Afternoon all, finishing work in ten mins so just a quickie!
Better - Bloody hell! Will you get a new midwife allocated then? That's appalling and unacceptable. You can't see her again, that's for sure. My midwife, i don't really know what to say, i've seen her twice which i know is not a lot but i had to call her to do my MATB1 form as i needed it with finishing work at the end of Feb and she was a bit put out about it. She also put the wrong due date on it, so i had to go back and tell reception and wait for another form and she came out to give the form to the reception woman to pass to me and she never even said hello to me or waved, just looked thoroughly pissed off! Great attitude there of a midwife. I'm not looking forward to seeing her on the 26th Feb which is my next appointment at 15 weeks. I don't get the feeling she likes me, either that or she is just very unfriendly generally. I'm not overly keen for a debrief on my last birth, i just want to know that although i had 3rd degree tear that it is ok to have a natuarl delivery. I briefly mentioned it to my midwife on the first appointment but she seemed disinterested.

Hazy - Lucky you with the homebirth. Can i ask you to explain how it all went and what you did etc? I am almost certain, all being well that i will go for that option. I really wanted to first time round and really wish i had gone for it.

Better, that's been the main source of my concerns; that my last pregnancy was heavy on symptoms (puking, really). I was saying to a friend yesterday that I equate pregnancy with puking, so this one has been most odd.

Bloody hell, Better. Is that in relation to the bleeding? Did they examine you to try to find the cause? Is your care plan going to change now?

I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable going back to the midwife who had been slated by the hospital in my notes!

Happy valentines day ladies!

Thinking of you today metal

Hurrah for scan appt kt not too far away either & like hungry said, lack of symptoms isn't necessarily a bad thing. Did you have lots last time? I think that's why I found the lack of them this time so disconcerting.

Hope your dh is ok after his operation hazy I thought about a home birth this time round but my only motivation is that I had such a positive experience last time with a hospital water birth that I think I'd panic if there wasn't a pool free at the hospital. So I considered getting a pool at home but on balance were quite far from the hospital & my husband is dead set against it. Plus if I'm high risk this time that's def out!

I'm stuck with my midwife too mrs but after today's debacle I'm considering making a complaint against her!! After seeing her and being thoroughly unconfident she'd made the right call I self referred to the hospital who basically said she's been borderline negligent the last 6 weeks and they actually wrote in my notes that I've been mismanaged and wrongly advised by my comm. midwife!!

Happy Valentines Day ladies.
My DH is having a knee operation today so no big romantic plans from me, but I bought myself some chocolate so maybe that counts...

Mrs I had a home birth last time, and it was a pretty positive experience so I'm quite keen on it again. DH not so sure - I think he feels we used up our 'luck' last time and things might go wrong. But a big factor for me is that things sped up a lot at the end of DS birth (from 0cm to birth in 4 hours, after a lot of false labour before that) and second births are supposed to be quicker so I'd rather be ready for a home birth than have an accidental one because I couldn't get to hospital in time.

I'd second the idea of getting a debrief from midwives, if you can. If it helps you feel more confident it can only help, wherever you have birth.

Mrs, if you call the midwives at the hospital you can ask for a debrief where they talk you through the birth and why things went as they did.

I was going to ask for one, but my booking in midwife told me all I needed to know really.

And we aren't doing anything for Valentines. We agreed not to bother, though we've never done much, apart from me cooking something nice for us. Too much effort this year! :-)

Hi all, Happy Valentine's Day!
Metal - I am really sorry. I don't know what else to say. I hope you are ok and getting lots of support at home xx
Better - It's not very helpful with the midwife situation but i can't change, so i'm stuck with mine. I have questions i need to ask re the birth after my first traumatic experience but i'm not sure how to approach it with her.

So has anyone got anything nice for valenmtines? Sadly i'm at work til 5pm and DH is working tonight so i won't see him until the early hours of the morning. I'll have to make do with my DS as my valentine. Think we are going to go out for a meal just the two of us on sunday night instead and DS have tea at my mum and dads.

Well done on making the decision, Swede. Forgot to say yesterday :-)

Will you have to travel loads from the word go? Are you now desperately hunting for a nanny? Will she live in or out?

Kt, yay for a scan date. How exciting! And you know that Better and I have had relatively few symptoms, so try not to worry too much (says the seasoned worrier / hypocrite!).

Gingerbread, I could have sworn you were more DPO than that (I'm afraid I'd have to plump for the 5 DPO today though!). Boo!

I'm bloody hungry today...need to not eat my own body weight in food every day!

So sorry to hear your news metal thinking of you. X
mrs I'm good thank you, not feeling too bad, just worried about my lack of symptoms though :/ I have a scan date now though! Came through the post yesterday! It's 26/02. So counting down these next two weeks I'm so nervous that something's happened though. Ill be at work that day, but I literally work next door to the hosp so not too far for me to shoot off :) just won't feel like going back after though of its bad news. My apt is at 15:15.
How's everyone else doing? Sorry to those who's AF has appeared but at least you can start to track them a bit easier. Hope you all get your BFPs soon!
gingerbread how many DPO are you now? Hopefully you can canx your docs apt fingers crossed!

Oh Metal I'm so sorry, adds yet more heartache for you. I don't know what to hope for you other than you have plenty of support and things are physically as easy as possible.

Thanks, Hungry!

My Days is good, Henrietta. :-)

Good luck TTC!

I'm so sorry, Metal. How completely crap for you. Will be thinking of you over this time.

Quick update here. Took final cerazette today (dh's birthday) so as of tomorrow I am contraceptive free. Need to start using an app to track my AF and help me figure out when I'm fertile. No idea which ones are good and which are nonsense, though.

metal, it must be very hard for you. praying for strength in the midst of it all for you.

quick update from me - AF has finally shown up. 8 days late after all that, don't know why on earth so late but just happy to be back at square one. Think we're going to hold off ttc till April now to avoid another Dec baby, so I might be a bit quiet till then, but I'll be keeping an eye on the thread for all your news.

Looks fine to me Hungry! I'm on a laptop though.
I'm 4 or 5 dpo today, depends if you count sat or sun as the day, as I had a positive on both days. I've given up counting .
Oh, booked my Drs appointment, next thursday, hopefully I'll get my bfp that morning.

Metal I'm so sorry.

Be kind to yourself. Take time off work. Get support.

I'm so sorry it's all so crap, Metalhead. :-( Sending hugs your way. xx

Noyou, thank god for AF when it was anticipated. At least that's something!

Gingerbread, remind me what DPO you are again.

I don't get a choice with my midwife. It's the one who works at my surgery, and that's that! But if you can choose, Hazy, you should.

Mrs, no, I won't hear til 2 weeks after the meeting, I don't think. There's quite a bit to work out!

I've been to the dentist tonight. I gate having my teeth cleaned as it sets my sensitive teeth off. :-/ But still no fillings, so I'm pleased about that!

Does MN look weird for anyone else tonight? Or is it just my iPad?!

Metal I am so sorry to hear your news. You poor thing. Life is just real sh*t sometimes. Hope it's all over quick and painlessly for you I hope you have been getting lots of hugs and cuddles from DD.
Not much to report from me. Just plodding on through my 2ww, hoping AF doesn't come early.

Very sorry to hear your news metal.
AF got me last week, we hasn't DTD at the right times in jan so was not expecting to be up duff. The good thing was that at least AF came after 27 days instead of going AWOL.

awh metal im so sorry. this happened to my sister. once they told her the couldn't find a heartbeat she started passing lots of 'gloopy' discharge. as if your body now knows. xxx take care of yourself xxx
hazy if you have the option to switch I would, it will put you at ease. x

Hi ladies, hope you've all had a good day. I'm not doing so well today. Spent 3 hours at the EPU getting my mmc confirmed, then talking to the doctor about treatment options. I decided to go for the surgical management, but they couldn't book me in until Tuesday. While I was there I was getting quite strong cramps, and had some pink blood when I went to the loo, so now I don't know if I'm going to miscarry naturally over the next few days or still get to have the op on Tuesday. I'm quite scared of 'passing the product' as they put it, I'd much rather they just removed everything surgically. Just feels like nothing is going right at the moment...

Good luck with the new job Swede, exciting times.

Hazy if you'd feel more confident with your previous midwife I'd ask for her and don't worry about offending anyone, if they give you the choice they must expect you to give a preference.

I have the same issues with my midwife mrs shes very dismissive and not a all approachable, doesn't help things does it?!

Hi Hazy - Are you contemplating a home birth? I am. Even though i had a tramatic birth with my DS (forceps, 3rd degree tear), i feel a lot of thins that went wrong were down to the hosipital and i really have a bit of a phobia of hospitals so think i'd feel more comfortable at home. Re the midwife thing - i'm not a huge fan of mine this time round. Fortunately she told me that they don't do the home births, someone just gets sent from the hospital i think. I was at a different surgery last time and had a very good midwife. This one is not very friendly. I don't think it matters if the same one is at the birth because they might intend to be there but who knows what will happen when the birth actually comes round, your midwife might be ill or on holiday etc. I think you go with the one you feel most comfortable. Sadly i have no choice but the one i've been given who i fins a bit unfriendly and she doesn't like to talk much and i don't feel overly comfortable asking her things, which isn't great.

Thoughts are with Metal today x

Hope you are getting sensitive and efficient care today metal, my thoughts are with you.

I have a very trivial dilemma - I was referred to a different team of midwives to the ones I had last time and have asked to be transferred to my original team. Fine. But have been allocated to a new midwife, who asked if I'd prefer to have my old midwife. I sort of would, since I really liked her, and with this team the midwives are with you at birth and antenatal care too. But it seems rude to the new one to ask for the old one. At least I'm on the right team now, with continuity of care and the option of a home birth. And actually I ended up having a different midwife at my ds birth anyway since the other one was with another woman. So it doesn't matter that much, but I am dithering. Perhaps because it's a distraction from the sickness!!