First month of ttc after early miscarriage....

fackinell yes we have a ds 8.....and this pregnancy was completely unplanned...but once I had got over the shock ..very much wanted....

well I have just had wine..something I have not had for nearly a month..iam back at work tomorrow ..and this bottle is like my last adieu to what was.....

my dh is thrilled accepts that we will have to have sex constantly and rather excitedly honourably said I can manage every day you know....[guess being Italian has itsbonuses..stallion and all that lol lol]

Hi Tutti, I'm sorry you're going through this right now. Do you have other DC? My DP has a 16yo DD and I never wanted kids until I met him 2yrs ago. After my second MC my MW pushed for early bloods (normally its 3 but given my age they cracked on.) bloods are ok so there's no bio reason other than fusty eggs.

I would recommend you get straight back on it. Can you ask MW for high dose 5mg folic acid? I was put on it after #1 as it can help prevent a repeat. It may not help you much but after both of mine I treated myself to all the things I wasn't allowed: wine, pâté etc and insisted we went for a lovely meal out (and broke the bank by taking a hol too.) It helped me a lot. So treat yourself as much as you can afford (without selling a kidney.)

I didn't find the actual MC any more painful than a bad period, physically. We DTD every day from CD9 to 17 then both needed a rest!!

fackinell

That's great news!!

I am forty ad have never felt my age...but now after ths... and thinking about the fact that we definitely want ttc ...I feel as old as the hills...and wonder what the heck I a thinking...

Hey English thanks ...I don't think so either..but you know...

It'sso hardhearing of others pregnancies..on the one hand you are happy for them but on the other.. well it just compounds your feelings of loss.....

I said on another thread that 3 weeks ago I was in shock and disbelief but now my overwhelming thought is to get pregnant again... and as much as my logiacal side says take a step back..my emotional sid e ahs become consumed by it

Sorry for all your losses

I've lost two (8wks and 5wks) last one in October and just found out on Sunday that I'm 5wks pg again, so it can happen. I'm 42 and my MW said 'go like the clappers as time is not on your side.' As most of you are a bit younger than me you have slightly better stats. my risk is 50% of MC now at 42.

I found a useful site but on phone so can't do a proper link, I'll post it anyway. It really made me understand what was going on in there although it's an IVF type link, it still applies. As you will see on the pics with the dots, there are still plenty of good eggs. I am scared shitless with every tiny twinge but I'm trying to stay positive. My neighbour got pregnant naturally at 50!! Hang on in there. Link that helped me below,

www.advancedfertility.com/eggquantityquality.htm

Tutti - I wouldn't have thought you'd missed it. Don't let that add to your worry. Keep going with the opks. Mine looks like it'll to be a couple of days later than usual.

Had another friend announce her pregnancy today. Only 5 weeks along, where i was when i miscarried. Felt overwhelmingly sad for myself but obviously thrilled for her. Another weepy afternoon

Hey...

Just checking in ... I know what you mean about feeling vacant ... I just don't wanna talk to anyone .., back at work tomorrow dunno how I'm gonna cope ... I cried in the village shop today ....

Just feel overwhelmed

Did an opk test yesterday and there was a faint line ... So took it as nothing but today there was nothing ..I didn't miss my ovulation by any stretch did I ? I only on day 6 of bleeding from miscarriage ....

We have Dtd today just in case ... But every little thing is analysed

I will keep on with opk but please reply if you have an answer xx

smf I know how you feel...Kind of vacant. There but not. I felt empty to begin with but have tried to get my head around things and be more positive.. new year and all that. I'm sure a holiday will be just what you need to take your mind off things. And lots of time for dtd! sending you love and luck for your ttc journey. We will all get there eventally.

Tigger i cant believe your mum could say something like that. Just because you weren't visibly pregnant or because you already have dc does not make the heartache any less.
I had guests arrive on 27/12 for new year and had told them about the bfp as i wasnt going to be drinking and they'd suspect. Then had to tell them that i was losing it. It was horrible. But i could tell they just didn't 'get' my grief.
Regarding ovulation - i've read so many different stories. Some people have ovulated straight away, some have taken a few weeks. Everyone seems to have something different to say. All I would say is start again when you feel ready, wether that be straight away or in a month or two. Hugs xx

Reading this thread has made me feel.......less alone. Found out today that I miscarried at 6wks. I didn't expect to feel so overwhelmed with grief. Our 18mth old came as a surprise after 15yrs of infertility, so we were equally surprised to get pregnant again at 41. I just told my mother who told me, abruptly, not to let it get to me because it was 'hardly nothing ' and I am lucky to have my other child!! I just keep crying, without warning, if you see what I mean. Is this normal? I bled for two weeks, would I ovulate straight after?

Warm wishes to all you brave ladies.

So sorry to all you ladies who have this happen

I had an early MC on 23rd December. I stopped bleeding (oh my god, the amount of blood!) 10 days later.

We were really,truly heartsore about it and tbh, I've been behaving a little oddly since. It's weird, I know I am but at the same time I can't stop myself. Just being a bit random. Disconnected from the world a little bit I suppose.

Anyway, while the Dr suggested TTC straight away, we've had no 'plan' just dtd when we feel like it (a fair bit actually!) but not taking notice of days etc because I have zero idea where I might be in my cycle. I had EWCM around the 5-9th but tbh, I wasn't taking much notice.

We have a family holiday coming up in Feb and am looking forward to that and it's a very nice distraction from the whole thing. When we are back then we've decided to be a bit more pro-active about it.

Unmumsnetlike hugs to you all. It's very hard.

Hope you're feeling a bit better today tutti, i definitely have good and bad days. Some days i just feel very 'WHY ME'! and like i'm the unluckiest person in the world. Then i give myself a kick up the arse and am ok for a few days.
I finally got a high on my opk today so feel a bit more like i'm making progress. Just worried how i might feel if AF arrives instead of a bfp!

Dose not Dude!

Tutti - It's sodd's fucking law! My two PG happened in months of not trying due to other stuff going on, one including a massive dude of depression, both times we hardly dtd at all! The worst thing about it is it's what everyone says will happen but you can't consciously do it! grrr!

Well a week ago today I was beginning to suspect all was not well....what an awfully long week it has bee.

But my opk stix and trying for a baby multivitamins all arrived today...so that's something I guess.....I am just worried it will take forever to conceive agin ..I am 40....This one was a complete shock and unplanned but nevertheless wanted....

I keep reading of women who got pregnant without even having an af after miscarriage ....and then other 'facts that at 40 you only have a 5% chance of conceiving in any month anyway....

of all the things ....we only had intercourse twice last month ..twice and I got pregnant...you watch ..now I want to ...it will take forever...and then when you do you have to try hang onto it....

Gah!!

sorry I am having a bad day

Thanks for the stories of hope ladies. Hopefully that will be us all soon enough. This weekend I am seeing two of my best friends - one who has just given birth and the other who is 20 weeks along. I feel I am coping ok at the moment but a nervous about seeing them and it making me miserable again. I am so pleased for them both but its so bloody unfair. My friend who is PG wasn't even trying! She had one night of drunken sex and now she is having a baby. AGH!!!!!!! Im determined I am going to have a nice weekend but I am sure I will cry at some stage :(

I am hoping that this will be the month for us all. AF seems to be coming to an end for me now so fingers crossed for ovulation :)

Its very encouraging to hear success stories after mc impatiently and missmidden, I'm very happy for you. Thank you for sharing.
I hope the rest of us get some good news at the end of the month. Sending out positive vibes for us all.

misshobart I've also got a load of friends that are pg at the moment. One text me to tell me the second day of my bleed... (she didnt know). I just burst in to tears. Obviously i'm super happy for her as shes been ttc a while but i wanted to just text back "good for you, i'm miscarrying right now"! Now i'm feeling better I feel awful for even thinking that.

I just wondered if you would like a good news story from a similar situation?

I had IVF for seconday infertility (unexplained) back in August which resulted in a MMC at around 5 wks and I bled steadily for about a week from what should have been 6 wks. The first cycle after I ovulated but not until about day 20 compared to a norm of d14-16 and had poor temperatures and lots of spotting before AF (though that alone wasn't unusual). We did TTC but the timing wasn't great due to late ov.

Second cycle I got stuck back in with OPKs and ovulated on d.14. Much better DTD timing (morning of ov) and got a BFP 12 days later and am now 13 wks. So having been treated for infertility after TTC for over a year the mc certainly seemed to improve things for me.

Good luck to you all- I hope you very soon have your own happy outcomes.

So sorry for your loss OP.

I was in your position in July. Miscarried at 5 weeks. Felt physically fine and started TTC straight away. I'm normally quite intune with my body and have mild ovulation pains as well as EWCM, however that first month after MC I didn't have either of those signs that I'd ovulated. I got a BFP 27 days after the first bleed of my MC, and I'm 24 weeks pregnant now.

So it definitely can happen.

Fingers crossed for you. Hope you get your BFP very soon.

After all the rage/upset of the last couple of weeks I'm actually starting to plan some of the well meaning advice that I wouldn't listen to!

The main one being "plan some fun stuff" - so I've filled up my rest days with lunch with friend (16 wks PG ), crochet with another friend (due 14th Jan ), craft evening, dinner with OH, works do (getting drunk ), trip out to the country, visit to friend in london in feb.

Hopefully these distractions will take my mind off ttc for a bit!

Tutti - It is horrible, I know what you mean about the bath, I was in the same boat, really wanted one but there was just too much blood. I'm so sorry for your loss. The only thing you can do is look forwards like I did

It's so hard to deal with, all I can say is that for me it helped accepting it as a loss and grieving for it. Let yourself be upset and angry, let it out, you will feel better after a while and you'll be able to pick yourself up and get back on it! I mc'd on 27th Dec and am just starting to feel better and so will you

I know what you mean about seeing the blood every time I go to the loo I have to steel myself..i know what I am losing ....its horrible...I would really like a hot bath ..but am bleeding too heavily.. and the thought of it...shudders..

I had a dream about miscarriage the night before bleeding started. Had some brown spotting a few days before but just felt something was wrong - I kept researching miscarriage symptoms online too but told myself to relax and everything would be fine. Seeing blood when I went to the loo was possibly the most heartbreaking thing I have ever had to deal with. I'm really glad this forum is so supportive as it's really helping me get through this and look to the future x

I also just knew...Had a textbook pregnancy with my DD so just expected this one to be the same. However, at Christmas I just knew that something was not right and then when the brown spotting started I knew it was all over.

Very happy to have people like you to talk to who are going through the same thing at the same time. Other people just dont get it and most people dont know about it in any event.

Tutti - I agree that planning the ttc makes me focus on that rather than the past.

Will try to follow the gyno's advise this month and stick to the magic dates to see if it works. The month that I got pg we dtd every day during the fertile period and obviously that worked as well so who knows what works the best.