TTC and still Breastfeeding? You are not alone - come to our bf-friendly cafe for a chat and some cake!

mrsconfusion - sending you a big hug! And it isn't self-indulgent - you need somewhere to let it all out!

I am sure the BF will come back and your DD will get back to normal too. She might be going through a leap and, as you say, there has been a lot of change recently for her too. Whatever it is, remember that it is NOT your fault. None of this is your fault and from the sounds of things you are a very caring Mama. Remember to care for yourself too!

helena - I can't believe you haven't even done one POAS. At the moment I am POAS almost every day (internet cheapies but even so) and I haven't had an AF since March 2012!! So my chances of a BFP are rather remote!

eagle - so sorry for the BFN. Even though you know that you would probably get a BFN at this point even if you WERE pregnant it is still hard isn't it! Fingers crossed for Sunday Monday!

Hope everyone else is OK. Fingers crossed for lots of BFPs coming this way soon! Funny, in RL when I (it feels like constantly) hear about a new pregnancy I feel a little bit sad that it isn't me, on MN I feel encouraged when I hear of BFPs. Like, oh, it IS possible after all!

Thank you lovely ladies for being so supportive - really helps to have this place to come and hide. BAck to work today, mostly in a big of a fog. Dodged the questions about why I'd been off, I'm sure some people have guessed, but I'm desperately hoping they don't ask.

Drink and cheese seems to be my main diet - stinky brie especially - turns out you still feel sad, but at least you're tiddly and sad.

Bit in pieces tonight as DD has been really tricky at bedtime for last few nights (cheese and wine don't start til after bedtime so it's not that) - last night she bit me really hard and woulnd't let go, DH had to come in to help, and tonight again she asked for fridge milk after mummy milk, and wouldn't go to sleep. I had to leave the room in the end and she screamed and screamed. Heartbroken as bedtimes have generally been happy - long, but happy - and I don't think I can bear it if the BF has gone wrong as well as everything else. I know in my head there's a lot happening in her world - she'll be upset by me and DH being sad, and suddenly having grandparents looking after her more than usual, I think she's got second molars moving and she's just starting the move to the big room at nursery - BUT - in my heart I feel like it's all my fault.

Sorry self indulgent rant there.

Sending lots of positive vibes to anyone on 2ww or tempted to POAS, and big hugs to june and anyone else having a rubbish month.

Wow helena, you have way more self control than I have

I POAS today even though AF isn't due until next Monday! Got a BFN which I am now trying to put out of my head. I am forbidden from going near another stick until Sunday at least.

Hope everyone is well and as another month rolls in (a month where I'll be 34 eek) let's hope this is the month for BFPs.

Hello again.

So, no, I haven't POAS yet, but I bought two tests.
I'm trying to reason with myself and wait a bit more.

If all the cramping and pain I had last week was ovulation taking place, I should wait more. My LP might be too short or something like that. I can wait until Wednesday or next Monday. If AF doesn't show up till then, I'll POAS. It will be 6 weeks since last AF.

I got nauseated on the bus ride to work today, but I believe it was because I read a little during the trip.
It didn't pass as quickly as I would like. I was still nauseated on the way back, and I'm producing more salive because of it, I think. I felt some cramping but nothing painful. I've had some heartburn for the past 4-5 days, on and off.

My son has been feeding on only one breast for a long time now and the other one has some milk (or whatever that is) which tastes funny. The one he's using was quite big today because of the many hours away from him, but it doesn't seem like there's a lot of milk in it and it's a bit watery. He feeds for 5 - 30 seconds and go play. Yesterday he didn't fel asleep on my breast as usual.

So, for now, I'm just thinking that I'm not pg until my body clearly says something else.

I'll keep on following this forum and posting the developments here.

Helena I admire your patience! I would have POASed about five times already if it was me!

Feeling better but still have a sore throat... And AF arrived yesterday... We didn't put our best effort, but it was an ok one, so was really hoping it would be our month oh well, now at least I have some time to shift that cake weight!

This cycle was even shorter that previous one - 23 days. Never used to knicker watch, but I've noticed EWCM last Wed, so I guess I ov'ed then? This makes my LP 10 days, which is a bit short me thinks... No idea what it was before though, but for some reason I'm convinced it was longer! Oh well, maybe my fertility is not fully back yet after all!

Hello everyone,

Hope you all have had a good weekend!

Helena - have you POAS? If you are late then it should show up if you are pregnant, and if it is just your body getting back into its rhythm then at least you will know that is probably what it is. I'm afraid I can't speak from experience as I am still waiting for AF to show up after DD was born (now 20 months). Fingers crossed for you!

eagle it's impossible not to get obsessed, particularly if you are the kind of person who likes to be in control of things. TTC is one of the few areas where you can have very little real control (other than DTD and keeping fingers crossed of course). If you can POAS, symptom-spot, temp etc. then it makes you feel like you are doing something! Well, that's how I feel anyway! Sometimes I really wish that I could be one of those "let's just go with the flow and see what happens" kind of girls... but never gonna happen! And the 2ww always feels about 3 times longer than 2 w!

How is everyone?

toes - hope you're feeling better?

junebaby - sorry to hear you've had a tough month.

I am procrastinating and really should go to bed, but finding MN a real comfort at the moment so doing quite a bit of lurking...

Exactly! It's really hard!

I'm already 1 week late if my cycle is back to the normal 28 days. I shouldn't get too excited since this is only the second cycle, but, every morning, when I wake up without AF, a little bit of hope becomes a bit bigger.

I'm gonna have to wait 8 weeks before I can go to the doctor anyways, so there's no rush. If I'm not pg, I'll be giving my body time to settle again - to the extent that I don't mess it up with anxiety - and if I am, the longer I wait, the more symptoms should show up.

I don't even know how the symptoms will be since I'm still breastfeeding.

So, let's see how long I can handle this.

From what I've read you're more likely to come back to full fertility the later your AF returns. However it seems to be different for everyone!

I'm in the TWW now and it's killing me :( I promised myself I wouldn't get obsessed but it's SO hard not to isn't it?

Thanks for your answer, eagle2010.

I forgot to mention how the AF was last month.

It was my normal heavy flow which again lasted a normal 6-7 days. Before AF I had 2-3 weeks of a thick discharge. Everything seemed pretty normal during AF.

I don't know if the fact that my son is 22-23 months old would make me get back on track quicker.

I'm afraid of testing and getting obsessed with pregnancy again. It took us 4 years to have ds.

I'm also on CD 35, not 37 as wrote before. Still no sign of AF. I have some small cramping every now and then.

I might POAS this week.

Thanks again.

Hello, helena!

I'm no expert - all I can offer is my own experience. I had a very short AF when DS was 7.5mo.

The next cycle was 48 days long. I felt horrendous after about CD35, nausea, dizziness, fatigue. I was sure I was pg! I did POAS but it was negative. I think the symptoms were just my body kicking back into gear to ovulate.

My next cycle was 33 days (almost the same as pre-DS) and my last AF was much more "normal" - it was longer and the bleeding was heavier and redder than the other 2.

You might just be in a phase where things are working themselves out - but then again you might be pg!!! I'd POAS anyway, just to know one way or another.

Good luck!

Sorry to hear your news mrsc-I feel for you.

Well we have definitely stopped feeding here so I am just lurking on this board now.

Didn't TTC this month as had a difficult month with feeling down/anxious.

Hopefully next month will be the month. Taking part in the clearblue trial with the new ovulation monitor so will see if that brings success!

Hi.

This is my first time on this site. Good to find others on the same boat.

So, I have a 22 month old boy who still feeds on demand. But he's at daycare during the week, so right now I'm breastfeeding mostly between 4pm and 8am during the week and round the clock during weekends - we cosleep.
My first AF came on July 28th. I haven't been on any type of AC since we started ttc ds and I'm not monitoring CM or temp. Before him I was pretty regular with 26 to 28 days cycles.
Today I'm on CD 37 and no sign of AF. I had some terrible cramping and pain around the whole waist region when my AF was due, but it never came and instead I got a EWCM. My sex drive has been sky high since AF was gone, and I'm having some headache every now and then. For the past couple of days my nipples have been a bit sore during breastfeeding, but nothing that I haven't experienced before.
I haven't POAS because I don't have one at home right now, and I don't want to get my hopes up high.
It was not easy to conceive our son, and I don't think it will be easy to conceive again. We had help to conceive him.
I'm waiting for my next period. Everything might be just very irregular for now.
What do you experienced moms think? Any ideas will be much appreciated.

Helena.

Mrsc just rereading what I posted earlier. I didn't mean to sound blasé about you sounding like you are doing ok. Everytime something goes wrong for anyone on this board I feel so bloody cross at the universe. And heartbroken. Ok maybe posting again now after some lots of lovely isn't a good idea, but I just want us all to get the end result we deserve. Please take all the time you need to get over this. As I said before, it's a big deal. There's no rush. Hope the helps a little. It sure helps here. And the gin. Beer. etc Hic... hic...

Mrsc I'm so sorry things haven't worked out for you this time. It sucks sometimes this TTC business. You sound like you're doing OK. Hope you are. It's a big deal. Make sure you're taking lots of care of yourself. What cheese you on this weekend? I love big stinky mould ones. Mmmm... Thinking of ya x

Need to catch up properly so will post again soon. Been an interesting week on hols TTC with parents next door. Not sure it will be our month but feel more like me than I have in a long long time. New mn phone thing is confusing me...

Congratulation gunpowder on catching the first egg! Awesome news. Hope you are feeling OK.

Hi eagle thanks for the info, I've read the kellymomstuff again and it sounds likely, perhaps this month isn't our month!

Hmm, cherry, could you be in the "ovulation without luteal competence" phase? It's talked about in the Kellymom link at the top of the thread.

toes, I'm (theoretically!) back to work next week. Theoretically because I am a substitute teacher so relying on the phone to ring for work. We've settled DS into nursery anyway and he'll go 3 days/week for a while. I thought he'd be mad for boob this week cause we were apart from 9.30-2 but he wasn't. He has been ill though so that might have something to do with it. Symptom spotting like crazy here too! Needing to pee during the night, bit of dizziness and late afternoon nausea. Could all just be in my head!

DS is getting better thanks gunpowder although he's finding it very tough to sleep with coughing. He coughed so hard on Wed and Thurs nights he vomited up his middle of the night milk :( He was better last night so hopefully this is the end of it. How are you feeling? Hope that you're not too tired with a busy toddler to mind too.

Hope you're minding yourself mrsconfusion and enjoying your wine and cheese

Happy weekend everyone

Well I always thought my cycle was 30 days before my LO but still no positive ovulation test and I'm on CD17!!

I have very sore throat... Hope it's not tonsillitis

DS all of a sudden became a bit of a boob monster, having been not that interested before... Anyone else had this when returned to work? I think it's that - he misses me...

So when this morning DS was getting all grumpy, DP turned a video of nursery song on his phone and DS got all excited and smiling... and I started crying! Just felt so irrationally emotional! I got these moments after DS was born, but this seemed odd... I'm about 10dpo I think... I think symptom spotting for the next few days will be hard to avoid!

Thank you Toes! I hope you are feeling better today. I took aspirin once (while feeding DD) and had a massive panic. GP reassured me that while it isn't first choice because of risk of Reyes, some bfeeding mothers have to take it when paracetamol/ibu are contraindicated, so it's not a disaster taking it once. Just realised I took ibuprofen before I got BFP too. What a wally, hopefully will be ok.

Cherry hope you got a + stick! I think they should give you more sticks in a packet, I never seemed to have enough.

eagle how is your DS doing? Maybe the sudden change to feeding pattern will encourage a super dooper egg!

How are you doing MrsConfusion? Have been thinking of you and hope you are enjoying lots of yummy cheese and wine.

Congrats gunpowder on your first egg super BFP! Hope all goes well for you!

So sorry for your loss MrsC, take care of yourself! Wine and cheese fest sounds great, I found myself fantasising about brie when I read that!

First week back at work. I'm off today and DS is superglued to me pretty much all day... I was constantly worrying and complaining about him not having enough milk feeds, but today he's already had like 4... which he hasn't done for months! I think he might be teething too...

I caught some kind of bug. Had fever, feel shaky, dizzy and weak, and aching all over like hit by a bus... So DS's clinginess although quite sweet wasn't the thing I wanted most today...

Oh and I managed to take Aspirin today without reading info leaflet first. Apparently it's a no no if breastfeeding Not having the greatest day so far...

cherry, how long is your cycle? I would've been 31 days pre-DS and I could've ovulated anywhere between CD15 and CD17. So it's definitely not too late

From what I've read as well, breastfeeding can result in later ovulation. Last cycle I think I ovulated around CD24 which is v late for me.

Hope everyone is well. I've woken up with a rock solid boob because DS only fed once during the night which is virtually unheard of. I think it's due to the snottiness though, he's still struggling with mucus and was awake loads coughing last night :(

I'm on day 15 of my cycle and have been doing ovulation tests for 6 days without a positive yet, one stick left in the pack for tomorrow morning :(
Keeping everything crossed as 15 days seems like it's getting too late!

Thank you mrsconfusion! I know that, but unfortunately I can't stop the guiltfest - POAS yesterday and actually found myself hoping for a BFN (which it was, obvs). I TOTALLY understand what you mean about wanting to turn your head off so you can stop thinking!! I drive myself completely bonkers on a regular basis.

Glad to hear that you are starting to feel a little bit better. I have been thinking about you. Try to relax and enjoy the feeding at least for a couple of weeks while your body sorts itself out and then start worrying about AF coming back.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Thankgoodness don't worry about drinking, we all do it - we went away for major anniversary when I was just preg with DD, didn't know yet and had convinced self I wasn't so I drank, ate cheese, had seafood.... got home, tested and was totally paranoid until GP laughed at my worries. Don't undo all the good of the night out by worrying!