The Elderberry Pavlovas head into 2014 which will be full of ivf, berry babies and BFPs!!!  (thread 17)

Cross post funky. So glad you're doing ok. And thanks for your kind words. As I said, I'll mill about but am aware of being too moany. I'll be lazing on the sofa sniffing around for everyone's news.

It's been about five or six months since I joined the berries, and sometimes I can't believe I joined a forum and a thread and how you've all become a lovely part of my daily life - checking in to HQ has helped keep me sane! Thanks all

Ps. Hope you're gearing up for shag week rp and aiming for the right orifice!

Thanks barking. I can't believe your wedding is so soon! How exciting! And March isn't too far beyond that.

parsley is right. I/we shouldn't wish our lives away, but it's just difficult when everybody around me seems to be diffed or nursing a newborn. Happy for them etc etc, but we've been trying for ages and it's just not bloody fair sometimes. Also doesn't help that I'm hurtling towards my dreaded 35th birthday in less than two weeks time.

Pip, how great that your work are being so supportive. Makes all the difference in this kind of situation.

Bunny what symptoms have you been spotting?

Feather, I'm doing ok thanks for asking. Have thrown myself into healthy eating and trying to forget about ttc impossible Think I might have got first period today actually. Spotting is here anyway. Please stay here feather whilst you're feeling low? Berries see each othert through it all.

Keep up the positivity barking!

Cross post feather, don't feel like you have to lurk for our benefit, keep ranting and letting it all out!

I definitely threw myself into wedding planning and exercise post mc, which is why I'm now injured and can't run at all until the physio says so . I had a complete melt down on Sunday morning as I cope with stuff by running and I can't run. DP did something really stupid (not on purpose, just being an idiot and not thinking/looking what he was doing) and I just broke down sobbing. It really upset me and everything just bubbled up.

As parsley said, it's so easy to just keep wishing your life away. I want to fast forward to March now and find out how long thr IVF waiting list is around here, but I'm getting bloody married in February!!

Bunny what is your symptom?

Would it help to think that stressing can only do harm not good, so even though it likely makes no odds either way, give yourself every chance by chilling out?

Ps: pip amazing that ET has come round so quickly! I have a feeling this may be a vintage year I Berrie HQ.

Wow, pip that's amazingly supportive for a school! I've been wondering whether we'd be able to do IVF over the school holidays...

I'm not going to add to the blueberries although it wouldn't be difficult I'm going to continue on pip's positivity! I got the date for my next appointment at the FC today after half an hour of pressing redial over lunchtime. 12th March. And then I'm hoping we'll be referred for IVF but I have no idea how long we wait for that initial appointment or how long the waiting list is.

rp the wedding planning is going well - got an extra guest who couldn't previously make it that has completely screwed up table plans, but that's the problem with organising stuff too early, my own fault!
We're supposed to be writing our own vows but I'm struggling with the right tone. Keep writing something then ten minutes later deleting it all!

I'm in hibernation as my misery levels have been steadily rising over the last 24-48 hrs. No reason in particular except for the obvious. Had the sudden realisation that I'm probably trying to overcompensate for the ectopic with all the exercise, wedding planning, house repainting and dp's surprise party planning. I just felt so empty and sad about it all. ANYWAY. I think it's best if I lurk till I come out the other side - dont want to bring any of you down.

bunny positive vibes to your palace! I have everything crossed for you. We berries need some good news.

rp the senior manager is obviously perceptive! Fancy sending you an email to say that. Hope he/she had the sense to ask if you were ok.

hb guys tend to be pretty self-absorbed by nature. I always think of the fuss and worry and flapping that happens in the lead up to OH having to give a semen sample. You'd think he was going under the knife for major surgery the way he carries on.

How you doing funky?

Right, I'll be on the Sofa of Pity if anyone needs me. to all. Sorry if I've missed anyone - on my phone and it only let's me scroll back so far.

pip ha do distinctly remember moaning at Dh for having to remind him to wank on the right day too! He gets really embarrassed talking about it as well lol. Winner re time off!

Bunny Pull on your big girl knicker and man up! (in the nicest way of course)

HB I was pissed off with DH too. All he had to remember was the timing of having had a wank before egg collection and he couldn't do that! I had to remember dosages, do injections, go to appointments. All he has to remember is to have a wank.

I had it confirmed today that the ET is wednesday pm. So I went to the office to change from needing a full day to just the afternoon. The deputy head said 'are you sure, you can take the full day if you need to'. I said that I was happy to come to work. At which point she asked if I wanted Thursday off. I said that it was fine, it's not invasive so there is no reason I can't work. she then kept stressing how important it is to relax etc. So later in the day I thought that it might be a good idea. She went to square it with the head and he said to take Friday off too!

funky ah you should have left the luggage, we were saving your seat anyway as you'll be back dead soon

HB and sid, really sorry that you're finding it tough with thoughts of IVF.

Hi Ladies,

This really does seem to be the most depessing day of the year. A lot of blueberries we are (tehehe!!)

Bunny snap out of it!!! Send positive thoughts to your uterus. Encourage it to settle in and stick around. Your uterus is the palace of your child etc etc!!

Kitty I didn't know you were having a pink one?! That's fantastic news! I popped into the helicopter to pick up some left luggage and spotted your post!

Is pips et tomorrow or weds??

Oh everyone sounds depressed today! I felt poorly all day which is really unlike me. After a meeting a senior manager emailed specifically to say "You looked like you didn't want to be there this morning". Thanks for mentioning it

Bunny are you 6 or 7 days after the transfer now? So look, you are halfway through the 2ww and then you'll know. Personally my money is on you being diffed but you will at least know.

How's the lesson planning wedding prep going Barking?

How are you, Sid and Feather?

HB - I think your DH has just demonstrated typical behaviour in the support department. Mine is much better now but totally forgot to ask me how my first appointment went and I think he forgot about my HSG too. Try not to take it to heart.

Hugs Bunny, you do not need a wanging. Your fears are perfectly normal given that you're half way through the longest two week wait ever. Hang in there. X

Just read an article about a nun who's recently given birth (ffs!) followed by someone who's written in to a problem page as they're afraid they'll never be able to have a baby because they've been trying for two months without any luck. I kid you not

This was after going out with DPs work on Saturday eve and having to listen to people whine about their kids which ended up with one of them putting their hand on my shoulder and saying "Don't ever have kids". Hmmm thanks. Also instadiffer pg SIL is planning on using the name William. Which is my dad's name and what we've always planned on using as a middle name if and when. Humph!!

Sorry for the moaning Berries. It really is the most depressing day of the year isn't it!?!

Aww Bunny I think you need a hug rather than a wang. I guess the doubt is only natural but try to stay positive. I'm keeping everything crossed for you

urgh, pants Monday here....too many meetings, unmanageable staff and af about to start meaning that I am feeling the rage! Hope everyone else is having a better day. It is blue Monday, apparently the most depressing day in the calendar so at least it can only get better from here!!

HB imagine the fuss the menfolk would make if they had to have such invasive procedures. I think it is very easy for them to forget all about the whole ttc process most of the time. Hope it goes ok!

parsley I know what you mean about trying not to wish your life away...it can be hard to enjoy the moment with all the uncertainty and waiting.

barking your friend was being very insensitive, particularly as you would think your closest friends should know better than anyone how you must be feeling. I have had similar experience with my best mate, who is now 7 months pregnant. It can feel like a double kick in the teeth when the people who know you best don't think before they open their mouths.

Sid thank you for your post last night; you have pretty much said everything that I feel but am too scared to admit to (sorry couldn't post last night; I couldn't get to my PC). The abject failure that I feel about not being able to conceive naturally is at times so overwhelming I don't know what to do, especially when all around you appear to get pg so easily.

Parsley well done for coping with pg SIL, I can't imagine how tough it must be.....

Please excuse me all but I do need to have a quick rant about DH - he is away on a training course for the next couple of days and whilst I don't necessarily want him with me whilst I am having my dildocam (no longer a dildocam virgin if you'll pardon the pun) a text of moral support would have been nice as opposed to 'So far so good. Nice choc chip cookies'. I mean - really?

Rant over; normal service resumed.

Hope everyone's Monday has not been too bad

Thanks barking, you're right of course but it doesn't make the waiting any easier does it!! Agh, every time I catch myself wishing my life away like this I try to stop myself - there's more to life than getting pg RIGHT NOW, right? Right?!?!????

Hope everyone's Mondays go well!!

Well that is the one lovely thing about it, then :)

igbores ??!?!