The Elderberry Pavlovas head into 2014 which will be full of ivf, berry babies and BFPs!!!  (thread 17)

I need wanging. Decided to do an ovulation test and pregnancy test last night and got a positive ovulation line and a very, very, very faint second line on the preg test. Obviously, an evap. Had a restless night's sleep, woke up and did a first response and another IC with fmu and both bfn, naturally. What the hell is wrong with me? Feel like I am losing touch with reality with this whole business. I'm cd 50-something - there is no way I could be ovulating now or pregnant, so why am I messing with my own head and doing these tests! Please, someone, give me a reality check here! Wang away!

Happy honeymoon because! And great news re seeing the doc.

barking do you think you'll take the clomid this month or wait till your next cycle? Do you think it's worth asking for a dildocam to check out what your lining is like? Have you always had such light af? Good point re provera not helping symptoms.

Morning all!

Because Happy Honeymoon! So hopefully only a month away and your thyroid problem should be fixed - that's good to hear!

Barking sorry to here about the spotting and the still kucfed cycle - good plan to wait for temp crash though. Also hoping your cycle is still on it's way to being fixed.

Kuma Hooray for the go-ahead!! Had a look at the dirty rainbow episode!! OMG it's hilarious! It just gets worse and worse!

Aqua if anything when we found out that we needed help it was a relief - but then that was because we actually had an explanation as to why it hadn't happened naturally, and now we are due some help and it's taken the pressure of in the mean time. Hope you get your head around it all and feel more positive about it soon.

RP good work getting all that lot sorted! And good for you for getting to the Drs sooner rather than later! Good luck for your appt!

Happy aw bless your poor mum! Better that your MILs response!

Bunny all the best for tomorrow - will be thinking of you!!

Last night I had a dream where I was breast feeding my baby!! I had bought some nice bras yesterday so spent some of last night trying them on and lookining down at my boobs, so think that must have been partly to blame for triggering my dream. It was such a lovely dream and luckily didn't feel too down about it when I woke up.

Have a good Sunday everyone!

Hello Berries,

I will be the last one standing, if only because it took months of stubbornness to make me go to the doctor! I'm seeing an endocrinologist I early March since it seems my thyroid is a bit off. According to my GP, easy to fix.

But of course, being on honeymoon right now I kind of hope it will happen because "it will happen when you relax" and all that

I need locking up. More spotting this morning but pimped again anyway. BFN. So I pimped again with a double dye . Wtf is wrong with me? I really wish I hadn't had lots of spotting before my bfp as it means I remain in denial right up to the temp crash . Still not going to take the clomid until I actually bleed.
feather on the provera - it's not AF I care about in terms of the wedding (as that's pretty non existent anyway) it's the spots that build up at that point in the cycle. I'm not sure provera would prevent that, and probably not worth the risk of doing anything else that might screw up any natural cycle I might ever manage. The holy grail has become a 'normal' cycle, I can't believe I'll get pg again until my cycle is sorted not that pimping three times in one morning shows that.

feather on the exercise - I think you'd have to be training for an ironman and pushing yourself to your limits on a daily basis for it to affect your cycles. As I understand it it's also related to your bmi being too low due to the amount of exercise. If you think you're pushing too hard maybe skip a spinning session once a week and swim instead? Cross training is good anyway. Jessica Ennis got pg and she won't have been taking it easy (I know it's different for everyone...) Due to my knee injury I haven't run for a month but my cycles are still kucfed up (and yes I realise I may need to stop for longer if that really is a factor for me).

I'm on spotting day 3. Don't want to take the last lot of clomid until I've seen proper blood flow.

bunny the fear is natural but it's going to be absolutely fine. Please try not to worry as it's important you stay as unstressed as possible right now. to you.

Oh Bunny, yes they will. Of course they will. 48 hours and that fear will be over.

Happy yeah, sounds like you need some answers. But I guess I was sating if private IUI is cheap, could you do a cheeky round or do of that Hilda on NHS waiting list? I me am, would they know?

hampshire very sorry you're going through it at the moment. Can totally empathise as I can't move for pregnant friends/colleagues/ family at the moment. I know it's difficult in times like these but you just have to trust that it's going to happen for you one day. Odds are they will.

Feather you definitely won't be the last berry standing!
Bloody difficult to day and wallowing in self pity! Met upwith my best friend today to take her out for afternoon tea for her birthday. Lovely apart from the 19 weeks pregnant bit. Oh and found out that another 4 people that I know are about 20 weeks pregnant. And they are all younger than me. Can't help the feeling that I am getting left behind. Got upset and now feeling really awful that my friend saw that - been putting on a brave face. She was lovely and supportive but.....

Aquarius it's very difficult to not get overwhelmed by it all.

Hope those of you with AF are feeling ok - enjoy the . Hopefully wind and rain will naff off soon and let us all get on with fixing things!

Points not pints!!!

That's interesting aquarius. I did wonder whether it's the exercise. I really, really need to lose weight as my bmi is two pints higher than in the 'healthy' weight range and I don't want the fc saying that I'm too fat to go on the ivf waiting list (if it comes to that) so I'm kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place. Plus, I never thought I'd say this, but it's the only thing keeping me sane at the moment. Pedalling like a mad woman to very loud music turns out to be therapeutic. Who knew!

Aquarius the consultant told us it was 18 months but I'm in Wales and its only that long here due to a huge cock up last year by WAG on the IVF clinic provision front. I believe in England its a maximum of 18 weeks wait? I think Bunny waited hardly any time at all if I'm not mistaken?

Aww thanks bunny for your wisdom - I need to remember 'one step at a time'. It's easy to get a bit overwhelmed with it all.

Happy that's so sweet of your mum - I love the optimism. Good news about your tubes. I've no idea about waiting lists round where I live- how do you find out?

Feather - impressive post!! You definitely wont be last berry standing dont you worry. Sorry to hear about your cycle... I was told by FC not to over do it with exercise to encourage regular cycles (also told me to 'eat more pies' ...) I don't do enough exercise in my view (once or twice a week max). I would think it could be worth you speaking to GP if you're concerned & don't want to bother the FC.

Hi all!

Feel so out of the loop in just a few days - so much happening in Berry HQ!

rp sorry to hear pesky af got you. And your house issue. And the flat tire. This weather is nuts and life can be annoying sometimes. Have everything crossed for you next month. Gp visit sounds like a sound idea!

barking you too re af. And that dream is one I know well. It's so horrible when you wake up and reality hits . I dreamt the other day that I kept poas-ing on lots (I mean LOTS!) of tests and all of them were coming up as bfps and then fading. Doesn't take Freud to work out what's in my head. re having af due on your wedding, could you take provera to stop it arriving? You know it works the other way too, right? When I had a 3week af early last year, the fc prescribed it to me and it stopped.

kuma such great new re natural IVF cycle - so thrilled for you! I read somewhere recently, probably on MN, that they're just about to raise the nhs IVF age to 42. I seem to remember it saying that the changes come into effect in April/May and that it's pretty much a do e deal. Might be worth looking in to?

gill I'm sending you all the positive vibes I have for this round working for you.

sid where are you at? Just about to start jabbing?

hampshire how are you feeling today? RL pregnancy announcements suck. It's particularly hard to take when it feels like we're being left behind and we all want it so much. As blue said: you're allowed to feel sad

funky how are you doing? You asked the other day if I was back in clomid after EP, and the answer is no, not yet. FC said I have to have two af's and then call them for a hsg before we go forward with any other treatment.

tiger 2ww! Sending you positive vibes too!

happy he sounds like an absolute donkey. Always surprises me how insensitive people can be. I suppose unless you have been through what we all are going through, you just take it for granted that no one has fertility issues. He still needs a good slap though.

lady how are you?

Aquarius and happy I'm about as far away from the IVF bus as a person can be right now. Feeling left behind! At this rate, I'm going to be the last berry standing on this thread, (t)wanging myself and dancing around wearing only a bit of last Christmas' tinsel.

As for me, I'm cd (circa) 52. Still not bloody sign of af. Had a really intense acupuncture session, and some serious ovarian pains yesterday, but still no sign of it. I'm getting frustrated and avoiding calling the fc as they'll just put me on provera when I feel like I need to let it come naturally this month. I'm just in limbo right now and it's a little exasperating, but there's nothing I can do. Do any of you who know lots about exercise know if it's maybe all the spinning causing the delay? I eased up in the last week, more because I was busy at work and the tube strike, but went today.

Sorry for the mega-post and sorry if I missed anyone out!

RP I'm 35 for 6 more days. Going to wait and see what the consultant says at our next appointment before we make any decisions. We are allowed 1 private round of IVF whilst on the NHS waiting list so that is a possibility. NHS IUI has been mentioned but I don't know if that would be whilst we're on the IVF waiting list or before, and if it is before I'm not sure how long we'd have to wait for that. Not sure I'd want to delay getting on the list to try the IUI. Lots of questions I need answering!

Also someone needs to make plans to host the next thread!! Sid, barking??

Happy how old are you? Also remember IUI - is that possible?

I looked at my local FC recently and private IUI is remarkably cheap. Have you looked at that?

Thanks Bunny! Spent the afternoon tidying and now have so feeling happier in a neat house. How are you feeling? When is your 6w scan again?

Afternoon Berries. Sorry to those of you suffering because of the weather and AF. AF is due here tomorrow, cramps have started so know she's on her way.

Aquarius I'm nowhere near the IVF bus. Had letter this morning that basically said 'Congratulations both tubes are open' (umm yeah I know, I was told that over 2 weeks ago when I had the HSG!). Also waiting for follow up appointment. Even if I get put on the IVF list then there's an 18 month wait

Told my mum today about the TTC/FC and promptly burst in to tears! Her first reaction was 'aw yey I'm going to be a granny'. Thanks for the positivity mum but did you actually hear what I said?! At least she didn't recommended an enormous helping of sprouts and some après sex pelvis tilting like interfering MIL!

Poo, barking.

On the plus side, it means we can both have a glass of wine if we like!

Sorted car tyre - changing it in 35 mph winds was particularly fun, and even better when the wheel nut broke - and moved fence panel, and arranged window repair man to come and fix water ingress, so things are looking up.

Also going yo book with GP on Monday - screw waiting any longer!

Kuma hope you are enjoying yourselves!! And Sid don't worry, the scheduling will fall into play. Eyes on the prize!

Enough blood here now to know it's AF apart from that totally delusional part of me that always clings on in the hope it's not AF until the temp drop around cd4 but not enough to reassure me it's a 'normal' cycle. So despite the optimism at ovulating on cd15 instead of 22, it got me no further forward as LP remained at 8 days, cycle reduced to 23 days, and bleeding is ridiculously light . What is also annoying is the short cycle has made my dates such that I can expect the next break out of bad acne perfectly in time with our wedding .

And I have sympathy rp, our roof started leaking yesterday and we need a new gear box. £1000 bill from the garage is not what you want the same month as your wedding.

And because I spent time doing wedding stuff yesterday I have more work to catch up on today than I can possibly get through. Obviously being on here is helping enormously.

RP fuck the lot of it. Sorry the witch got you, 11 day LP sounds alright tho!

Morning all

Oh RP what a rubbish turn of events for you - hope you're staying afloat and not feeling too rotten

kuma that's v exciting

Who else isn't yet on IVF bus? I've finally got an FC apptmt to follow up from lap & dye in a couple of wks so anticipating possibly moving closer to it but can't quite get my head around the possibility of having it yet - I'm in denial about the fact we might need some help - did anyone else feel like that? If so how did you get over it?