If TTC # 2 has turned you into a nut job this thread is for you! (Part 4)

hello ladies, I piped up to say hello a few days back and haven't said anything since! I am very impressed and also a bit daunted by all the recent posts, you ladies sure know your stuff and I will definately be bending some ears for advice if that is ok!!
I am just into cycle 7 of ttc no 2. I promised myself I would relax about the whole thing this month, but only 2 days after AF has finished and I am driving myself crazy with baby thoughts. I have fully convinced myself that I will never again be pregnant, and I am just fed up and depressed with the whole thing. I am going to start using opks tomorrow, and aim to dtd every other day. I will try my best to eat healthily and not stress out about it all this month. Other than that I don't know what more I can do. It is just so rubbish that we have to go through all this anguish and heartache to have another baby, and it almost feels more cruel when we have one naturally conceived child running around showing us that we can get pregnant and have children!
Interesting to hear your results from the doctor sebs, I have been thinking of making an app for myself, did he tell you to go back at any point in the future if still no bfp or will you make another app to have your blood tests done?
Sorry about DHs reaction Punky, I know what you mean about judging their reactions and forcing ttc onto him, it is hard to know what they really think about it all, and I suppose they feel they have to be the strong ones for us.
Very early good luck to you maybe Jakey?
Anyway, sorry for the late night ramblings, I just wanted to check in and say hello and so much good luck to us all.

Hi all,
Being a newbie to the thread, I'm just chuckling about the last few posts! Cotton buds and soft cups! Been there and done both of those. Tried the moon cup hoping it would keep the swimmers in the right place, but managed to come back from holiday without it! God knows where I managed to leave it and god knows who eventually found it!
Oddly enough, I've had pink cm today. I'm pretty hot on cm and monitor it very closely and have never had it before. It was literally two wipes and none since. I'm 9dpo I think. Of course I've spent all day believing it is implantation bleeding but most likely it's just another sign that my hormones are just totally shot

Lol, I definitely think a cotton bud sounds less grim to me than sticking a finger up there.. It's weird.. very little gets me squeamish but for some reason the whole 'checking CM' thing does.

I didn't bleed any heavier than normal on the short cycle.. in fact I think it was lighter than usual. Will just have to see what the next cycle decides to do!

I forgot to mention that my DH's reaction when I messaged him to say AF had started (it turned out it hadn't and was just more pinky streaks) was 'thanks for sharing'. I don't know.. for some reason I thought he might be interested to know.. you know, like he cared if we got pregnant or not.. and cared I would be upset :-( I guess it is hard to read these reactions when not face to face.. but just made me feel even more shit. Like I am just forcing ttc onto him, which is how it feels when I am in the fertile phase... We normally talk about everything, but I'm too scared to talk about this as I worry he will say he doesn't want to ttc anymore.. so just carry on walking on eggshells.

Hey all,

Welcome back Sebs - shocked your GP was so unhelpful, but it really does seem to be a lottery as to whether GPs are good (helpful/caring) or not.. I agree with Zippy though, in that Clomid is the next step (so I've heard from various sources) before IVF.. Is there another GP you could see for a 2nd opinion?

Zippy -Sorry to hear about AF :-(

I have spent the whole day on knicker-watch after some pink cm yesterday.. had a bit more today but not AF yet.. Part of me thinks 'woohoo could be implantation', whereas the logical part of me remembers the same thing happening last month and it was AF.. and I am just being tortured with hope that bit longer this month! Only positive is that today is 10dpo, so at least if AF doesnt come until tomorrow then my LP is 1 day longer this cycle.. (though the cycle itself is 30 days today, compare to 22 last cycle! Slightly messed up!

Fed up - sorry you are fed up :-( I'm so lucky that no one in my NCT group has had no 2 yet, or is even pregnant. Only me and 1 other are ttc at the moment. My best mate is 8 months though, and wants to talk baby gro's and vests this weekend (it will be her PFB).. I really want to be happy for her.. and was when she first became pregnant.. but that was when I thought I would only be a few months behind her!!

I've actually just turned Holby City off (on TV) as one of the characters was in the middle of giving birth.. and I just kept thinking 'b*tch'.

On that high note I'm off to phone DH.. last night away from home this week.. I get to go home to my boys tomorrow night :-)

xxx

Thanks sebs. Nobody knows in rl, so the support on here is lovely.I'm glad you're back

My GP said that about the ovulating too then changed her mind when she saw the blood tests and said my progesterone was 3 and it would be 30 if I was ovulating. The consultant then said I was OVing but very late.

Thinking about it, the GP is wrong too with you because if they did find a problem - eg you weren't ovulating (not that there is any reason to think that but just if that was it) - then there is stuff like Clomid that can fix that. Or if a scan showed something that needed fixing, that too could be done.

Poor fedup, I know exactlym exactly what you mean. I am having a really busy awful time at work too. I work a lot in the evening and at night so I can be with the baby a lot in the day but it is very tiring especially as the baby wakes up three times a night. My nct lot are great but are either with bump or baby except one who is trying soon, so it is really, really hard. I don't want to lose touch with them because we have bonded surprisingly well as a group but it is really difficult. I'm seeing them in my lunch time this week. I think you sound amazingly strong fedup.

How old are you sebs? I thought if over 35 it was only 6 months before they referred you? Although I think that differs of you already have a child. Did you specifically ask for tests? All sounds a bit rubbish, but in a weird way it's good the doc thinks you are fine.

zippy sorry bout period arriving. Rubbish.

Fed up is fed up. First day back at work today and sucked. And think my period is late but not pregnant so it's going to be a whole load of messed up cycle crap again after this mc :( and all my NCT want to meet up with babies as well as toddlers and I can't face being the only one without a second child :(

Sorry for the gloom, just feeling shitty at the mo xx

that all sounds rubbish, sorry to hear that Sebs.It's difficult to see what harm at least doing some blood tests would do, surely they would tell you if OV was happening etc?

BFN here today and then AF turned up just to confirm things. Really fed up of all this now, it feels like it isn't going to happen.

how long have you been ttc sebs? x

I'm not sure the blood tests will tell you you're screwed, Sebs. I think they might tell you that you're OVing (if progesterone is high on day 21) which would be helpful to know. They might also give you the FSH readings from day 3. High isn't a great sign as it does get higher the older we get (was strangely pleased consultant said mine were very low and much lower than he'd expect at 35 even though this low is actually the reason for fertility being suppressed by the BFing)

Crikey, just a few months ago, I wouldn't have even understood this post myself. We all learn so much during this process don't we?!

Glad Christmas was not cancelled after all. Good luck at GPs. Don't be fobbed off. x

oh nice to see you back sebs - did you de-cancel Christmas?!

Yes my CBFM was indeed showing lots of highs, but it also showed me I got to peak much later than I ever would have thought. In fact I got to peak on day 24 last month which meant a short luteal phase though I gather that's common post bfing? Last month, AF showed up on day 33, six cruel days late.

This month it was highs day 11 to day 26 (?!) but I think once you get a high it stays high until peak occurs, not sure though. If you are using it for longer than the 5 seconds I think it can affect it too.

Some blood tests from GP should help reassure you re hormones? A day 3 and a day 21? good luck. AF was due for me yesterday but has been late the last three months (after being regular my whole life until the point I am actually obsessing about it!) so don't suppose it counts. Not even tested but fairly sure I'm out this month. I actually savour the days of being late now, they're the nearest I get to a BFP, tragically enough!

I was just talking about dr google yesterday and it's pros and cons. Pros - self diagnosis when gp is shit or can't get to see one. Cons - we know more than the doctors!!

Welcome wee. All total nutters here. Month one I was quite sane, a year down the line and two mc later am an official top of the league nut job!!