How do you stay positive month after month?

I know exactly how you feel. I have been ttC number 1 for about a year now. I also have that damn personality flaw where if I decide I want something then it has to happen straight away! Lol! So it's been rough that it's still not happening. Also starting to panic that we might never be able to have kids.

My husband works away 2 weeks and then 3 weeks home and he has been away the last few times I have ovulated. I still seem to think it should be happening! Trying to relax and not think about it.

Sick of hearing about another damn pregnancy, seeing scan pics on Facebook, hearing comments like 'oh they are having a baby, think they were trying for ages too; 6 months I think!" Or "it wasn't planned" Argh piss off!

And breathe! Lol

Reading your story, daughter, it just brings home that no matter what our age/situation on here, we all know that feeling.

It's truly bloody horrid, isn't it.

DC2 took nearly a year. I was utter distraught by about month 6. By month 9 I was on the phone sobbing to DH when AF arrived. In that time everyone was announcing or having babies. The comments from other people who didn't know we were trying where upsetting.
'You're not getting any younger' I'm 31 ffs
'Gosh you'll have a very big age gap if you don't get cracking'
fuck off I'm trying

DD was a one hit wonder! We spoke briefly about starting a family and boom I was pregnant. Just didn't happen with DC2.

In the end I stopped using the sticks and started DTD from day 6 of my cycle, so as soon as my period finish. DC2 due in Jan.

I know in the bigger picture we didn't have to wait long for a BFP but it is soul destroying.

Good luck to everyone

Wine. A big glass of wine when AF arrives.

Ha ha yeah I can sympathise with the glass of wine whilst being on and being a bit sad over failing yet again lol.

I 'celebrate' by having all the things I've denied myself for the last 2 weeks 'just in case'!

I am currently writing this with a glass of wine, and a MASSIVE bag of chocolates

It's just crap. Let yourself have a cry. Talk to your partner. He may not understand totally. Tell him you don't want a solution, just a listening ear and a cuddle.

I'm always here if you want to talk to anyone in the same boat xxx

Hold onto some new glimmer of hope that this time will be different for whatever reason lol

I'm on 24th cycle and every month it's very upsetting but then I focus on some new goal.

A healthier bmi weight which apparently effects fertility

In April/May this year I stopped drinking coffee completely ( from my usual 5 cups or so a day)

Recently started again to just one a day.

I've pinned my hopes on ovulation test

And watching closely the consistency of mucus.

Too dtd every other day

To avoiding tuna because of the mercury

I'm sure I've missed loads of stuff I've tried to concentrate on

Trying to be more relaxed ( booking little breaks away)

Paying no attention to dates in the cycle and trying the relaxed approach, when in the mood lol

Some how I always know what day it roughly is within my cycle

Including that moment of knowing ur now beyond that point in the cycle of making any difference to the outcome.

It's just fucking shit. That's what it is. It took us 12 months to conceive our 2nd (first was a surprise baby) and each month was harder, we both found it a really bleak time by the end and we had a few massive rows along the way.

What I found helped me was reading lots of old wives tails and throwing them in each month. It made me feel like I was doing something positive to help. I changed my diet to a low carb high protein one. The month we did get our bfp I ate pineapple core from dpo1-5 and had acupuncture either side of ovulation.

I spoke to a fertility clinic along the way as well (I'd donated eggs a year back so called them for advice). She told me that it's very unusual for a man's fertility to change from good to bad so it was extremely unlikely it was a prob with dh. If my cycle was normal and regular (it was) then I was almost certainly ovulating. As if hadn't had any invasive procedures during dd's birth and had donated eggs fine afterwards it was unlikely there was anything wrong with me. So she advised to give it time. Which we did.

But I didn't really enjoy a minute of the last 8 months or so. So you have my sympathy and I hope it happens for you soon

It's miserable, isn't it?

I struggled to conceive DS, needing IVF in the end and am not trying for a second, but I do know how you feel.

However, I would say, after a year of trying, a trip to the GPs might be worthwhile as there is such a thing as secondary infertility and they might be able to give you some help.

It's very hard not to get negative about it though - how old are you?

No tips, but HUGE sympathy. I TTC'd for 4 yrs to get my DS, and I don't think those monthly visits ever got easier really . I used to try to think of fist day of AF as the first day of my new cycle. It sort of helped.

We're also trying for number 2 now, like you on and off for about a year too.