The Elderberry Pavlovas: still chasing that 'copter in the hope of a festive BFP. Thread 16 (the one where Happy was left in charge!!)

Naughty merk

Morning all! Wishing everyone a good week!

2014 will be our year!

Marking place, you fell of my I'm on list

Well, sid, my mum always said "hell is other people's children" and she's right. The one year old is a cutie, but was so hyper it drove me a bit nuts. And he mashed olives into a cushion and his parents said nothing.

rp sorry af got you.

We're all not having a great time right now, are we? Onwards and upwards in 2014! We will be victorious! X

AF :(

So I now know that I will not be pg in 2013. Feeling a bit shitty. Going to go and wash the walls to make me feel better

Feather at the moment I couldn't even contemplate going into a shop like that, so my hat goes off to you - at least you tried. How's the lunch going?

Sid - hope you're feeling better. Nothing worse than when the dark cloud appears and as others have said, it is a particularly hard time of the year.

Lady - I'm in a similar boat. Post ectopic, I'm now "CD" 36 - no sign of af either. Impatient for it to arrive as want to get two af cycles under my belt so I can have my HSG.
Grrrr.

Boodle - we don't even have a tree this year. We both keep saying "we should get a tree!" And then we don't. No idea what that's about.

Pathetic story alert: was Christmas shopping yesterday and we have four babies to buy for. Was feeling particularly strong so stupidly we went into that shop Mamas & Papas (who we're having a sale). First sight of a little cardie and I welled up and ran out like a nutter. Hmm. Maybe not so ready after all.

Happy Sunday all! We've got friends (and their one year old) coming round for Sunday lunch. Wish me luck.

Happy weekend, Berries. Sorry to all the people feeling glum. I think this time of year is particularly hard. I've always loved Christmas, but I'm just not in the mood for this one. No decorations still, and I'm even turning off the Christmas tunes on the radio. That is very unlike me!

Manlump is booked in for pre-IVF semen analysis next week and I think, taking into account the 48 hour absitinence, it's going to fall bang on key DTD dates. I know I've basically got no hope with natural conception now, but it still annoys me! However, if we cancelled, he'd probably have to wait until the New Year.

Harrumph.

Oh Sid sounds like you are in that dark place, hope you feel more positive soon - one day, how ever it happens, you will be a super mum! (Obvs the sooner the better) Bunny sorry about all the pg news coming your way, and all those bumps that keep appearing Barking - glad you guys are keeping positive! We need some BERRY bfp news to cheer us up, preferably before Christmas! Anyway, with all the jabbing that will be starting in the new year our luck is bound to change!

Morning all!

barking you asked if I was feeling better, if I had answered yesterday I would have to say no, whilst speaking to my mum about things I found out my younger cousins wife is also expecting, cue another mega meltdown The jealousy is so hard isn't it.
Today is another day though and I just have to get on with things, gonna keep busy and get Christmassy! Just 2 weeks till the jabbing starts, just have to concentrate on that

sid booooooo to possible AF

lady boooooo to shag month, a week is bad enough

It's been a tough few days for us berries then, Christmas sucks for us childless ones, woe is us!!! But and for us all

Be a better berry happy? but all the berries are fab already!

barking that did make me chuckle, I surprise myself (and DH) sometimes when I laugh at something that could also make me weep! Good on you for your positive thinking, can you send some my way

Oooh, new car lady! I did the petrol to diesel switch - I did have to think twice before choosing a pump for a while!

I'm quite pleased with myself. Went to new job Christmas do tonight and there was a big bump there (due date is tomorrow!) but it really didn't bother me that much, I was quite surprised! I was a tiny bit but not upset. All the positive thinking and focusing on my own journey, visualising myself as pg and knowing it's only a matter of time etc seems to actually be working!!

Which will also be why I laughed at my mate today instead of choosing between hitting her and running to the toilets crying....
mate : "So where are you at with it?"
me: "trying acupuncture next"
mate: "I think you should just focus on the wedding and not think about it until march, then you won't get disappointed every month"
me: fits of laughter

Happy a kia ceed 3, I drive 70 miles a day so I'm finally changing to a diesel. (Just got to remember that at the fuel station!)

IKWYM, also struggling, Christmas is for children and people with children. Trying to overcompensate by planning a great Christmas day with my parents and DH and buying too many presents.

If you're not sure whether you or your clinic is arranging the other appt, give the secretary of the specialist a call to find out if they've had a referral from your IVF consultant.

Our second cycle might be delayed now, my mum has just had a diagnosis of a genetic disorder so I'm now waiting for my test results before they'll start the next cycle, if I have it as well then hopefully we'll be able to genetic testing on embryos. It's hopefully not too serious but affects men more than women.

In other news, I bought a new car today.

I'm not really sure, Lady, as I'm supposed to see one last specialist before we can start IVF, so it really depends on the specialist's schedule. I've been given her name & the hospitals she works out of, but have no idea if I'm supposed to track her down myself or if my IVF dr is handling it for me. I'm frustrated by it as I'm 99% certain of what she'll say and I feel like I was mentally prepared to have a start date on the calendar, and now it's all up in the air again. I think it'll prob be February.

I'm ashamed to admit it but I used to be one of those idiots who scoffed at women whose biological clocks were the source of all misery; now I am one. I distinctly remember telling an ex once (while we were dating) that given my family history I was probably super fertile. Great joke, God; I've learned my lesson and cringe looking back on my arrogance and naivete. If I'd've been around hundreds of years ago, I'd have been shunned from my village or had my head chopped off by my husband so he could move on to someone more likely to give him a son. I feel about as useful as a chocolate teapot. Meanwhile there are babies and prams and bumps everywhere and I'm struggling to keep faith that one day it'll be me.

Sorry to hear that Sid, do you still have another chance at a pre-IVF ironidiff? Hope you manage to enjoy your Christmas break at home regardless.
I'm still on my post-chemical cycle which is getting really boring now. CD32 now and got a positive OPK again today, after getting positives on CD25 and CD27 with no temp rise. Shag-week for us is more like shag-month!

Think AF is on her way. Made the mistake of getting my hopes up - ie my polyp must've been what has been holding us back and now that it's gone I'll be pg like a shot, plus I've felt queasy for the last few days and even threw up a few days ago after a couple of glasses of wine. But here I am on CD28 and getting some pink CM. I had hoped to be able to tell my family happy news next week

feather I'm not having any problems getting to sleep at night, it's just the waking up in the morning (5.30 again this morning) and not getting back to sleep before the 6.30 alarm. I've not been able to record a single reliable temperature in the last week! Consciously doing everything I can to relax now though, so hopefully my body will catch up with me soon! I'm finding the Emma Cannons book quite helpful, although not impressed with her anti-running stance (something about affecting blood flow to the uterus?!) as the running is what keeps me sane and I don't run at 100% effort anyway.

Bunny are you feeling any better about it today after the initial shock impact? There's a chapter in the book about feelings of bitterness towards other pg women being understandable but not helpful to your own chances as you're not in a positive frame of mind. No shit! I'm a lot calmer around pg colleague now but after three months I still haven't seen bump-same-as-I-would-have-had and I really don't want to. Not looking forward to visiting SiL and their new baby at Christmas either.

Thanks feather I just hate that I can't feel happy for her, the crazy lady in my head screams its not fair she's younger than me. It's not a competition and I have no right to be pg just because I'm the oldest cousin but I can't help how I feel.
I feel like as I hit 6months TTC I lost my mind, at 18 months I may have totally lost the plot!!!

bunny sorry to hear. I don't blame you for having a meltdown - it's totally natural in our situations to feel rubbish every time someone close announces a bfp. It just seems so easy for most and it's isolating and shitty that we're in this situation. Huge bunch of to you.

Evening all!

barking sorry to hear your cycle is still playing silly buggers!

feather grrr to hangovers and FC delays

Had a major meltdown earlier, my younger cousin has announced she is pg and it hit me like a ton of bricks

Why is life so damn unfair?!?

Oh, and no sign of af. Never though I'd be wishing for it to arrive so much.

Hi all!

Well, it was my work Christmas knees up last night and I proceeded to get shi*faced. The mother of all hangovers today for the first time in forever. Ouch.

Agree with gill, barking - disrupted sleep patterns are a sure sign of stress. Have you tried an Epsom salt bath before bed? I tend to sleep like a babe when I have one!

rp fx'd af doesn't rear her ugly mug.

blue know what you mean about "falling apart and starting again" - hoping 2014 brings us all the bfps we so deserve.

The fertility nurse called this afternoon - she said she'd had a talk to the consultant and the thought it 'would be prudent' to have a hsg after everything that's happened, but that they'd want to do it after I've had two periods. Feel like it's all taking ages, but I'm just going to go with it. Got acupuncture on Tuesday with a specialist fertility acupuncturist who seems to have worked miracles according to online reviews. We'll see.

How's everyone else?

Thanks for the link birdy, I think that's the thread that came up on google and made me think thank fk it's not just me !!

Gill you're probably right. I left work early tonight and bought pizza so I don't have to cook either. Going to do wedding stuff and not even open my school email .

rp get him to the doctor, no option!

After calling for an acupuncture appointment and being told there weren't any available until 7th January I discovered that she works in two different clinics and the other clinic had an appointment available next Wednesday .

More spotting today, fed up of it now!

*7dpo, obvs

Oh God Birdy I am just imagining what he would say if I mentioned the acupuncturist. He is a very bluff Northern sort of bloke - I think the response would start with 'fuck' and end with 'that'

barking he doesn't complain, that's the thing! He will go on and on and after a few days I'll say merrily 'looks like X has cleared up, eh' and he'll say 'actually, it's much worse and I think I may need an emergency medical appt'. Always. Always.

Anywhooooo...... So all you Berries will look like this soon:

/ / / / /

Hedgehog backs!!

In other news AF seems to be warming up - CD7 here