Posifrickentivity all round, with a good healthy dash of project desperate. New thread, new luck, new BFPs and Summer 2014 babies all round please! TTC after MC

Not that I want in anyway you ladies to be going through what I am, I do find some comfort in that you know how totally hideous this is and your emotions are all over the shop like mine.
Unfortunately time with me doesn't work, in fact it makes it worse!! So many people told me how fertile I would be after my first mc but took me 10 months to conceive again... Each month the pain was worse. The ttc was actually harder than the mc.
I was hoping with this one as I mc much earlier (last one was almost 12 wks) it would be easier physically but am just as knackered / if not more this time. Perhaps the emotions of the double whammy.

Ha ha hands - be funny if others notice the seduction attempts!

I've starter reading Bridget jones third book - makes me laugh and cry at the same time. And just so glad I've got my amazing DH. A good read though if you want something to do when mooching around.

We used preseed for a bit too fairy and just joked about it and accepted was a bit of a mood spoiler (like condoms really!) but we didnt use the syringe things, just covered DH's stick! !

I'm also with you on the crying front. I actually think I have been worse this last week than at any point other than the first week after mc. I just can't seem to stop myself.
Af has nearly gone and my ttc parcel arrived today- new pack of his and hers vits, opks and conception lubricant. As my lp has lengthened since mc I have decided to look at cm as being the culprit - cant figure out how to use the lube without completely loosing the magic iyswim
I feel a bit like I'm just going through the motions though- just so sad all the time. I need a kick to remind me to be positive.

Ah, fedup, parsley and tanny, I am with you about the crying. I am 2 months post m/c and have actually felt shocked that on occasion I don't fancy a good old sob. Time will help, to an extent. It's really early days for you. I was knocked sideways by the exhaustion. I guess you do lose a lot of blood, but I really think it's the emotions that leave you feeling so drained. I went from horribly morning sick at 12 weeks to ERPC in two days. That takes some adjusting to. Get some sleep and eat chocolate.

And hi Holly, how are you today?

I am ovulating. Yay! We have a quintet rehearsing poncey carols in our playroom tonight so I will make eyes at DH over our music, sing seductively and drag him upstairs the minute they leave. Ho ho ho to all.

Ha ha - quite like the pot idea! Normally i would go for wine but just don't feel like it at the moment, disturbing me somewhat!!!

I too cry in the shower. In the toilets and work. On the bus and in the car! I just wondered how much water I have left in me.

I've sacked off work and got into bed for a couple of hours. Just too tired and computer screen was swimming at me.
Given I didn't start til 10 that's a bit crap but never mind. Hoping I recover by Christmas time to be able to remotely enjoy it!

I just wanted to add a ditto to the relaxing thing. It's one of those really, really, REALLY annoying bits of 'wisdom' insta-differs love to relay to those of us who take longer than the blink of an eye to conceive but, after 18 months of opks, blood tests, a highly undignified date with the dildo scanner and a bag of glow in the dark saline and yet more blood tests, the one month I just thought 'enough!' - up the duff I did go.
But you're right - relaxing, especially after a MC, really isn't easy.

Maybe I should start smoking pot.

Finally, cry cry cry away. I usually have a cry in the shower every morning and on the way home from work and sometimes when I'm trying to get to sleep. Makes it sound like a bloody beauty regime!
In all seriousness, never has the phrase "better out than in" been more true, so just let it out, and DONT feel bad about doing it. Every single one of your emotions is valid.

Just had call back from EPU. Negative for pregnancy. At least that's ok, then why am I so tired still. Apparently my haemoglobin was within normal range too so am not anaemic.

Thanks ladies, I just feel so crap. And sad and tired and pathetic. I'm lucky that my bosses are ok though. I just felt as this is my second mc I didn't want to take off even more time.

Doctor has offered to talk to me some more about what next, back at the EPU next week. Grateful for her time but also not sure what else new she will tell me other than keep shagging

Joke is holly we conceived the month I did sack off ttc! No sticks, no temping, lots of going out and having fun and sex about 4 times around about fertile period. It annoys me to say this but all 3 times I've conceived are when I 'relaxed'. The hardest thing to do but it worked. Going to have to keep up my relaxing (FFS).

Hope everyone ok. tanny I'm up there on crying multiple times a day!!

Fedup I cry about 4 times a day at the moment, it's getting ridiculous!

I have also been feeling irrationally angry, and completely in a daze most of the time.

I started back at work this week too, you seem to have gone back earlier than me, but I'm just using up air. Nothing remotely useful happening for me work-wise.

My bosses are rubbish, so there's no love lost at the moment.

Shite isn't it?

Don't be hard on yourself fedup. You don't have a problem. You are awash with hormones and grieving. Add to that the physical effects and fear of the future. It is no wonder you are tired and emotional. Have you considered having a break from ttc for a month or 2 to let you and you dh recover? By which I mean go with the flow rather than stop dtd. I know how it feels to be obsessively ploughing on and it isn't healthy (do as I say not as I do advice here so feel free to ignore me). Oh and cry and talk about it as much as you want. There us always someone who will listen

I take baby aspirin, you can buy them at the chemist as low dose aspirin. It's one of about 8 things I am taking at the moment in an attempt to make my uterus somewhere cosy to stay.

People seem to have mixed feelings about baby aspirin though, so people don't take it until they get a BFP, some take it all the time, and some think it won't make any difference. Who knows...

What's my problem? Anyone else find they can just spontaneously cry? Feel so tired as well.

I've wondered about baby aspirin too, I mean what's the harm?! Do the capsules come in 75mg though? It would it involve chopping some up??

Fortunately parsely I worked from home and have asked to all week - I had the fear of bursting into tears in the office. Work been great to be honest, no pressure to come back, I just told them I wanted too as felt odd leading it til 7 jan and had loads to finish off. Got to go back to hospital this morn to check blood hcg has gone down.. Oh the joys of EPU .

Still bleeding but going to ask them about trying again... Eeek. As lost this one before 6 weeks I hope they will say I can start straight away..

Loving the positivity seasides! I am definitely jumping on your bandwagon, I don't think there can be any more shit stored up for me and DH, we've def had our fair share, as have all of you lot.

(Adopts Del Boy voice) "this time next year Rodney!"

fedup well done for surviving first day back. Mine was an utter disaster and I left within 2 hours in floods of tears! Back properly now tho and I actually find it is the perfect distraction, helps that we're so crazy busy.

Sort of looking forward to Christmas, a rest will be nice but seeing preggers SIL (2 weeks behind what would have been my EDD) and all the family oriented stuff is going to be TOUGH.

Ditto fedup, so looking forward to thursday, then off for 2 weeks. Nope: this time next year you'll be looking back on all this as a shite time in your past that you're delighted to be done with. But hopefully we'll all still be feeling tired with our huge bumps, or our sleepless nights with a baby!

Back at work today.. Been feeling tired and can't wait for week to be over then I'm off for Christmas. Started off the day with some more pregnancy news though. Ouch.

Chomping my way through a box of thorntons. Need to curb this comfort eating or I will look pregnant without actually being pregnant!

But as you say flower fairy seaside, two weeks til the amazing 2014! although i do feel slightly nervous that come this time next year another of my milestones will have passed bring on the posifrickintivity!!

P.s. I also changed my username, it sounded too 'flower fairy' for me!

Exactly 2 weeks til 2014 ladies-our luck is going to change. This time next year we will all either have babies or be securely pg, I know it! Hope there are some bfps before that to get the ball rolling, otherwise I'm fully expecting mine on the 11th Jan 2014! Til then... and shall get me through...

sundance what an awful thing for the grandfather to say - just awful.

holly that is a shit year.. I hope 2013 redeems itself by a bfp for you before dec 31st

I totally agree that it is very difficult for anyone to understand if they have not been through this type of loss.

I also cannot wait for 2013 to be over. My dad passed suddenly at the beginning of the year, followed closely by my great aunt. My aunt was diagnosed with cervical cancer, my friend lost her baby who was a week old and my mc topped it off.

I still have a very faint hope that a bfp will recover it slightly before nye

Hi tanny
Sorry for what you've been through :(

Literally just today I've been given details of someone at st marys and also one more local in Epsom. Come the new year I think I will give them a whirl as self referral. My issue is it takes forever after mc to get pregnant again... But if they can do tests whilst we are trying then I guess it speeds things up / might uncover issue with conceiving too. I don't know if at only two I count as recurrent miscarriage but I don't care!

I already have a child so kind of poo pooed anything being wrong but apparently immune changes can happen and lots of testimonials I read were about second children...

Just quickly, to say Fedup I have been going through the same issues, with a possible ectopic that turned out to be a blighted ovum. I ended up spending a weekend in hosp and battling to have my records altered to show it wasn't ectopic.

My care was excellent though, and I have a scan to check how things are on Thursday, and to check it's all clear.

This is my 4th MC, and I am now getting somewhere, but battling through NHS referral routes seems half the battle. I am on the RMC thread, and a lot of the women there are either under the care of St Mary's in London (NHS) or see someone in Coventry, Prof Q (private). I can find out details, or feel free to head over to the thread.

I'm tempted to make a self referral as it seems to be like wading through treacle.

I haven't dropped by for a while, but can share the sentiment about 2013. Thank god it's nearly over!

Big news for me is that I'm OVing 13 days after last MC started. Am holding off as I got pg last time straight after MC, and then MCed again with threatened ectopic (what fun that was!). So, no TTC for us for a month or two. Very sad not to be, but need to get back to some semblance of normality.

In the meantime, it's shake me and I rattle Tanny, with vit b complex, folic acid, omegas 3, 6, and 9, pomegranate extract can't for the life of me remember why vit c and baby aspirin all washed down with gallons of raspberry leaf tea. Lush.

Hello to everyone, and nice to make a comeback on this thread. I had to disappear for a while whilst threatened ectopic and then MC were happening as the thought of coming back to TTC was a bit of a kick in the gut.

Will try and catch up with a couple of pages, but in the meantime...

Oh my word, it's like 2013 couldn't be shitter, and then December comes along and crams in some horrible knife attack on us all!!

wings, I am so sorry for your loss. With everything else this year you need the support of your family and I hope they come around and help you out. You poor thing, thinking of you.

fedup, sounds like the truly horrible bit is mostly over Hun, plenty of rest required and remember that we are here to listen to any rants or just when you feel like a good cry. Here's to a better 2014.

ark, hope your daughter is ok. I doubt it will make a massive difference that this wasn't planned, a mc is a total shock and can be very frightening but thankfully she has a supportive mum to help get her through it.

My weekend was going ok until we visited my DH's grandparents (85 & 86 years old), it was over lunch his grandad told me that the mc was probably my fault...as their side if the family has lots of kids there surely isn't anything wrong with my DH's sperm, and maybe I was taking it too easy this time.

I mean...at what point do you hope they just stop digging. I know he didn't mean to upset me and would be mortified if he knew I cried myself to sleep, but it just really highlights how shitty this all is and how people don't understand until they've been through it themselves. 2013 can't fuck off quickly enough for my liking. I still don't seem to have ovulated yet so thinking it's just not going to happen this month. My body obviously just needs more time to recover and I'm ok with that.

Fedup, I am glad you've been able to take it easy this weekend. My tv consumption has gone through the roof since the MC, I am now an involuntary expert on Homes Under The Hammer and Pointless.

Sal, that truly sucks. Huge hugs to you. Are you likely to see them around? I hope not.

Hoping for a baby bomb free Christmas now (unless it's you lot or, god forbid, me!).