Posifrickentivity all round, with a good healthy dash of project desperate. New thread, new luck, new BFPs and Summer 2014 babies all round please! TTC after MC

I know. I think showing my DH my ewcm was not a good sign. ''Look, this is the stuff I've been talking about'!!!

Yup you don't have to orgasm to get pregnant, it just helps apparently. I have conceived twice with orgasm before dh so not to worry for those who don't, it just helps of you do! Love everyone's stories of the man running off to make tea / food and leaving you to it!!

Oh, and seeing as we're sharing: fedup - I tend to.. uh.. 'be the first one there' too so I 'do a Sal' and send him on his way once he's done.

Sundance - it all happened quite quick, referred in August; the tests were 24th Sept (and that was choose and book with the original appointment being early Sept), and results came through 17th Oct. Yes, letter arrived in Oct and only opened today - somehow it had got filed away (read. shoved somewhere) without being opened and I found it today during a tidy. I think its good news - sort off. Can't decide how I feel about it: rationally I know I should have the sense you described of relief that its something identifiable and treatable but that's not quite where I am yet. Feel much the same sense of fed-up-ness that I did before I read it truth be told.

I should probably stop telling DH its time as I do think it puts pressure on him but I always get too excited and announce the presence of EWCM or a smiley from the bathroom ("DARLING DARLING DARLING EWCM EWCM" - its beautiful). I figure he'd know anyway; we've been together 12 years and sex every other day is not the norm (tell me that's normal).

Hmm I'd disagree. My pregnancies have all been conceived through sex that only he orgasmed during.

sal has it right, you need to orgasm after the bloke to have the scooping effect! Maybe that's what we are doing wrong as I do before!
Sal you crack me up. Although I'm slightly jealous you both work so close to home that the lunch time shag is possible!! Hmmmm cheese and pickle, one of my faves.

Thanks handsfull and big hugs back at ya. Sounds like you have some lovely friends there too which is fab. I have managed (so far) not to cry today so that's something. I feel a lot better after my not so little outburst.

camomile - how long did it take for these test results to come back? How do you feel about them? Tbh, I'm hoping that I have the exact same issue as it seems to be the one problem that has a very high number of success stories once treated.

If it helps at all, I never tell my DH when it's 'peak season' time, he'd rather not know when he has to DTD and pretend I'm just being some sort of horny beast. Often is the case I'd rather just sleep but he genuinely performs better without the pressure, making it overall as enjoyable as it's going to get....and I read somewhere that orgasms can help with getting pg. But that may have been written by a bloke!!

Sal - that's a brilliant tail - your stories never fail to make me laugh.

Fab news on this thread at the moment - congratulations to all the BFPs! Everything crossed for you all that things go well this time. Welcome also to newbies.

I'm reappeared from my pit of doom and am feeling a little better. I got my recurrent miscarriage test results back by post this morning. I have positive lupus coagulant apparently which I gather from Dr Google is one of those clotting problems treated with aspirin and heparin. On CD2 today so now just keen to know when Gynaecologist will actually see me to tell us the plan (anxious at the notion of TTC without this having happened for obvious reasons). There are still a couple of tests to come back apparently so there might be a wait - v. frustrating.

Everyone in the whole world seems to have babies - one friend on my fb newsfeed just had twins - greedy imo ;-)

So yes, I get the whole "dtd when not fertile is pointless" thing - all the time.

To be honest, the only time I feel like sex is when ttc. My libido is basically at zero. Even ttc feels more like something I HAVE to do rather than actually want to do. I'm in the 1% of women who are incapable of orgasm. It's not vaginisimus or anything like that; it doesn't hurt, I just don't get anything from it so it's all just rather boring, sweaty and messy and I'd rather have a cup of tea! But cups of tea don't make babies.

Yep we are, as a result!
DH doesn't feel the pressure though, just me! So going back to normal this month now and I'm not temping, using opks or nothing and just going to have sex when feel like it. I feel oddly happier about it all too.

If you're getting like that you probably need a break from TTC.

DH and I had a very frank discussion about it and he said we stopped having sex for us and he was really feeling pressurised to cum every time and it was ruining it for him.

So we took a break. Talked about it. And then started again.

Anyone else started to think that dtd out of the fertile zone is a waste? All I could think about as we dtd this morn. Bad isn't it. Never thought it would get to that in my relationship! Horrible what ttc does to you.

Welcome normal I can empathise with what you say about being terrified but impatient at the same time. It's hard isn't it? I think what your experiencing with your cycle is probably normal. I used to be 28 days on the dot. Since mmc my cycle has varied between 24 and 27 days with a couple of days of spotting before AF arrives. I'm not worrying about it yet.

Sorry to hear about BFNs and AFs arriving. AF has just finished for me so we're back to behaving like bunnies again.

Oh for those considering counselling please please give it a try. It really has helped and also helped me open up more with DH

Hi can I join? I had my first mc at 9 weeks in August and am on cd 14 of this month.

I'm petrified of getting pregnant again but also desperate to do so at the same time. DH and I have a pretty low sex life (him not wanting it much) so it took 8 months to conceive the baby we lost. I'm praying it doesn't take that long again!

Has anyone else's cycles gone weird since their losses? I used to have a 28 day on the dot, day 1 was my heavy day type cycles. Now they are 27 days long with 2 days really light spotting before I start. Is this normal?

Hugs to you Sundance, I think we had ERPCs on the same day. It's utterly overwhelmingly sad, and it keeps surprising me. I think I've only had two days since it happened that I haven't cried. Today I took my 2yo to playgroup, and it was run by a church group, they have a little prayer at the end. When the vicar's wife said 'bless all the babies in their mummies tummies' I crumpled, right in the middle of 30 odd mothers and millions of kids, and had to be mopped up by my darling friends.

Your dog story made me laugh though. I think mine likes to roll in dead things, by the smell of her sometimes. I do hosepipe and shampoo outside though, she is the size of a small horse!

Sorry for the BFN and AFs arriving, have a drink everybody, while we still can!

Thanks ladies, it helps to vent so thank you for bearing with me!!

Sorry to hear your news flower, i remember getting the odd really short cycle, but on the flip side you will hopefully ov very soon again too. Not great if you're not gp this time but at least the 2ww is cut shorter iyswim?!

I'd decided to stay off the booze but my Friday evening has been comically pants. The dog rolled in some other creature's shite and stank the house out, absolutely perfect when our shower is out of order cos the bathroom is being redecorated. DH out tonight so had to lift him in the bath myself after trying to catch said dog who kept running away from me! Grrr

Hope you all have a fab weekend....positive thinking ladeez. Xx

Big hugs sundance.

So I'm 7dpo and af has appeared wtf!!! Am so annoyed can just about cope with bfns but my body doing rubbish like this is just so frustrating! Had hoped it might just be implantation but its heavy now so looks like af :(

sundance it's not long since your mc. of course you're still going to have moments of utter sadness. I remember I was still up and down a lot for a quite a few weeks.
it's probably partly hormones, but also it's just part of the natural grieving process.
big hugs for you

Hi all, and welcome to newbies.

So last night was interesting, was fine all day until hubby got home and asked me how I was...I just unleashed this 3 hour sobbing, snotty, shakey tantrum, I just felt so desperate and sad. And then this morning....embarrassed and feeling fine again. What's that all about?? I'm putting it down to hormones but DH wants me to think about counselling - I'm just better at dealing with things privately I think.

handsfull, I'm in the same boat. Have no idea when I'm ovulating and still waiting for af to make an appearance 3 1/2 weeks later, it is rather liberating. I did take a pg test tho just to make sure I got a negative, couldn't bear the idea of having to go through any more lady-bits scrutiny for dating.

Good luck everyone

13 dpo I think and a bfn. Ho hum. Still nearly a week till af is due, as I ov so bloody early in cycle.
I am completely clutching at sticks anyway, as I am still in my first month post mc. Just wanted to get back in the saddle...

sorry for nosedive suzy but i'm with you - the forewarning is depressing, but better to find our sooner rather than later.

Feeling a bit sick today, but resolutely maintaining that i'm only 4dpo and most definitley not 10dpo so it must all be in my head.

triple i guess that's why opks can't always be relied on. you must have just had a small LH surge and the sticks missed it. yay for temping.

welcome handsfull and sorry to hear about your very awful experience.
I had a slightly similar (but not nearly so bad) experience with retained products and if I were you I'd deffo poas to check that it really is a bfn. Just to make sure.

hang in there cosmic. private scan results sound excellent.