Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Posifrickentivity all round, with a good healthy dash of project desperate. New thread, new luck, new BFPs and Summer 2014 babies all round please! TTC after MC

743 replies

Sal1977 · 24/10/2013 21:34

Our brand spanking new thread full of luck, baby dust, BFPs and a few choice swear words.

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

OP posts:
fedupofrainydays · 25/11/2013 08:53

Oh no. Ok, will not try and keep the hope up. So sorry sal

No - I don't think it does. I think the mental aspects were more likely to prevent getting pregnant, but not whether it sticks or not. And in any case, the mental thoughts are not about not wanting a child, they are just fear of it all going wrong again and protecting yourself from getting too excited. You do want a child, you said so yourself and wouldnt be the biggest advocate of project desperate if you werent! Protecting myself is also why I test before af is due so I can gear myself up for af coming rather than waste hoping I might actually get a bfp.

Are you taking fish oil? Supposed to help with egg development, a not so great egg is a likely cause of the mc and chemical.

Original poster
Sal1977 · 25/11/2013 08:21

It is fedup unfortunately. I don't have sore boobs and have been feeling a bit campy for a couple of days. No sign of spotting yet but I bet that will appear by the end of the day. AF was due on Saturday so a test should be showing a fairly clear positive by now (plenty of practice of analysing them here). It sucks.

Do you think that mental attitude has anything to do with it? Yesterday I kept thinking that I can't do this again and questioning whether I should be having children full stop. I've wanted them for years but still the thought terrifies me and now this happens maybe my body thinks I don't want it enough? here come the mental thoughts again I know I know!

OP posts:
fedupofrainydays · 25/11/2013 08:09

Oh no sal oh no.
I didn't think temp meant anything when actually pregnant as it all goes a bit crazy if you are? But I don't really know what I'm talking about as only temped once and sent me bonkers instead.
I hope it's not a chemical, sal. I really do

Original poster
Sal1977 · 25/11/2013 08:03

Oops, hit send by mistake.

So it's barely there only really there if you're looking for it and an IC shows nada.

I guess we're looking at a chemical folks! Sad

And THAT is why having a BFP is very underwhelming for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sal1977 · 25/11/2013 08:00

So, woke up this morning to a massive temp drop to just over my cover line . Did a PG test and its barely there --

OP posts:
fedupofrainydays · 24/11/2013 22:26
Grin
Original poster
Sal1977 · 24/11/2013 21:58

I'll see if I can nick a load of syringes from the hospital when I go for the appt. Wink

OP posts:
fedupofrainydays · 24/11/2013 21:42

*even though I bang on about it (rather, stupid phone)

fedupofrainydays · 24/11/2013 21:40

Thanks sal. Funnily enough, even i bang in about it, ijm oddly bored of talking about my ttc woes as I just so sick of ttc and the heartbreak. I want to brush it all under the carpet and forget about it. But can't do that if I'm after a baby! Bleurgh!

Your honesty means a lot. Thanks for sharing your story and I can imagine how tough it is for you now getting over the first hurdle but now another 36 to go (weeks!) til new born time. The next 8 will be the trickiest though for sure.

I'm the same re the whole mental aspect is the worst... It's that that kills me every month with bfn and af, I'm actually finding ttc much harder to deal with than the mc itself - perhaps odd but it just feels so hopeless.

If feel slightly sick when I think of the amount of money I've spent on digi opks, hpt's and other ttc paraphernalia - mine is prob enough for twins from china!!

I hope the unit does see you earlier, but they will
Probably do the 'lets see how you go with this one' approach. So hoping this one is your one to work out sal. You deffo deserve it, not least for entertaining us ladies on this thread with your ttc antics!! Much love xx

Misspositivity · 24/11/2013 21:36

Yiiippppeeeeee for sundance AF. A fresh start.

Sundance2007 · 24/11/2013 21:27

Aww Sal, I have everything crossed for you. You and your DH really deserve a sticky bean, i know how terrifying it must all be, but stay positive. Good things come to those who wait...even after several years and lots of heartache.

So my good news....af finally made an appearance last night! Woooohhoooo. It feels like someone is squeezing my ovary, it's so painful, but I'm just glad it's finally over and we can soon get cracking again.

Misspositivity · 24/11/2013 21:15

Awh sal your honesty is appreciated. You have been through so much And it is a rollercoaster. You are due so good luck. I so hope this one sticks for you. I think everyone on here is dreading the first 12 weeks after we get over the first BFP hurdle. So stay with us and hopefully we can give you lots of support. Xx. Tonight you can go to bed knowing you have a bean in your belly - well done you.

Original poster
Sal1977 · 24/11/2013 20:27

Keep talking Fedup! I'm always jealous when someone announces a BFP, it makes it easier to bear when it's someone from here though. I didn't mean to sound trite or ungrateful, I'm just frightened of being upduffed again. It's not the physical side of MC that I dread but the mental one. It's fucking shit and within 10 minutes of seeing that second line, I told DH that if this one is another duffer, I want a break from the whole TTC thing. Ok, I'm 36 so time isn't on my side, but a couple of months isn't going to make a massive difference.

I'm tired of it. I tried for a year with my ex-husband, he then ran off with a friend of ours (who incidentally is expecting their first baby in December). I then met my lovely hubby and fell pg after 6 months by accident (couldn't believe it!). MC at 5 weeks. Started trying properly a year later, got pg on 6th cycle. MMC at 11 weeks. Fell PG 4 cycles later. MC at 6 weeks. Now 4 cycles later have 2 lines. As you can imagine, not very hopeful, but must try to be positive.

We have our first appt at the recurrent miscarriage unit a week on Tuesday, so I'm going to call them and see if we need to get in sooner. My guess is we won't.

It feels like I've either been bleeding, shagging, crying, pissing on a pissing stick or on knicker watch for eternity as I would imagine everyone on here does. With amount if money I've spent I could've bought a baby from china by now.

But, I have 2 lines today and for now, that's enough.

Much love and fertile thoughts. Xxx

OP posts:
SuzyBean · 24/11/2013 17:58

Congratulations Sal and Over, that's great news. I can imagine it's scary but it's also the first steps to your dreams coming true. X

Alyant I know how you feel, it was 5 years last month that we conceived our ds and I was so sure we would have a sibling for him by now!

fedupofrainydays · 24/11/2013 17:23

Think it's hard to be excited after any mc but 3 is pretty unfair. So hoping this one is a good one for both sal and over. Got everything crossed for you both xx

I suppose I'm just having a good old moan about how most people seems to get pregnant relatively quickly after mc except me (both jn RL and on here) and I'm just a bit jealous, even though I totally appreciate the scariness of it all. Sorry, just being honest about how fed up I am on my months and months of project desperate efforts and nada to show for it!! I'm also in the 2 ww and trying to ignore it and dreading af arrival. Rant over and I'm off to eat a mountain of crisps - apparently we need to eat more when it's cold, right?!

miss p sorry you have starter spotting. Big hugs.its not over til proper flow but I know you know that.. X

Handsfullandlovingit · 24/11/2013 17:11

sal and over, wow, that's amazing! I will keep everything apart from my legs crossed (I'm ovulating, yippee!) for the both of you.

fed up, that's so tough, it surely will be your turn soon.

missp, boo for the spotting, I'm sorry to hear that, but yay to you for going to the gym. (Scrabbling for bright side)

May I add to the 'do before kids' list? Shopping. Just buy everything you will need for the next ten years. We foolishly took them to bluewater yesterday. Won't walk/won't go in pram/won't come out from under the clothes rack/won't eat expensive lunch/won't hold hand in crowd... Or make sure you produce compliant children...

Original poster
Sal1977 · 24/11/2013 17:02

One of the biggest shitters about having 3 MC is that I can't get excited (although I am also thanking my lucky lucky stats), all I keep thinking is that Xmas is 4 weeks away, right in the danger zone. I just can't picture any PG actually ending in a baby!

I'm taking one wee at a time....it could be a looonnnggg few months!!!

Need to brush up on my posifrickinivity!! Grin

OP posts:
Misspositivity · 24/11/2013 16:36

Hooray sal. Great news.

I came home from gym to find some spotting so all my confidence disappeared. Not going to test again as pretty sure evil AF is making a late appearance. Sam it.

Enjoy seaside.

fedupofrainydays · 24/11/2013 16:34

If you would like to swap, I would love a bfp ;)
10 cycles since mc and still not got over that first hurdle

Although I will be bricking it if an when it ever ever happens...

Original poster
Sal1977 · 24/11/2013 14:32

Haha, yeah we really are in sync! We're not talking about it in our house...

OP posts:
OveranxiousUnderated · 24/11/2013 14:20

Wow Sal that sounds like great news Grin we really are in sync haha. What test did you use? Fingers crossed x

Seaside...make the most of your new found hornyness Wink haha.

I did another test this morning and the line came up much quicker and quite a bit darker too, which is making me feel more positive however I know really it can mean fuck all! I am also officially 'late' now as still no AF and today is cd31.

I want to go to drs straight away to get referred for a scan as soon as I hit 6 weeks (if I make it that far) to check pregnancy is in the correct place. Terrifed of a repeat ectopic, although when I was pg with ectopic I still had a period so at least period is staying away so far.

X

Original poster
Sal1977 · 24/11/2013 13:15

Bleurgh. Faint BFP just now with a 3 second wee squirted out with the taps running to encourage it! It's a bit of a squinter but DH said its defo there. Will do another one tomorrow. The first words out his mouth were "here we go again babe..."

OP posts:
HollyBen · 24/11/2013 10:55

Any news today sal? Completely natural to be scared and my experience of pg after mc was that I was also really scared until I had my 3rd scan at 22 weeks. Hopefully once you see that BFP you will also be really pleased and hopeful. There is hope. x

SeasideLily · 24/11/2013 10:43

Congrats over, so exciting. As a fellow uni-tuber, ikwym that it'll be a big relief to know the other tube is ok. And if you have a womb pg after ectopic it makes the likelihood of another ectopic far less.

Thanks for the reassurance that I'm not being a cow about the scan thing everyone.

Funny, maybe tmi, story-I've been constantly horny for a week, which is both very distracting and very unusual for me. I'm really wondering if it's the maca I've been taking. Maybe worth a shot for others feeling overwhelmed by the shagathon?

Totally natural to be scared Sal, you've been through such a lot.

Original poster
Sal1977 · 23/11/2013 23:53

Still no spotting as yet (AF due today) but I'm defo feeling cramps so expect to wake up to the old trashed PJs trick!

To be honest I'm really frightened of getting PG again.

OP posts: