Posifrickentivity all round, with a good healthy dash of project desperate. New thread, new luck, new BFPs and Summer 2014 babies all round please! TTC after MC

Aly - I think that's exactly what's happened. It's a little early but only a few days. Thinking of writing an email and seeing about getting money back! Perhaps its programmed to show a peak when it realised its missed it. Fingers crossed for you though.

Welcome Parsley. Sorry you've had such a bad time of it. Fingers crossed for a much quicker conception this time round. They say people are particularly fertile after miscarriage, hopefully you'll prove that!

On training day today - v. bored.

Ha ha aly - my DH and wife #1 are really good long-time friends, we always used to joke about him knocking her up when needed...now everyone's looking for a resemblance!

seaside i'm taking a bit more easy this months with the temps in preparation for giving up completely next cycle (weaning myself off). so now that i'm in the 2ww i'm only temping every 2nd day. yesterday they were still high. Will poas on wed if AF hasn't arrived as my first xmas party is that night. xmas party season is a great silver lining for this cycle!

do your lesbian friends not have any handy gay (or not) male friends to use for a DIY turkey basting?? Would save on the £1000 per cycle...

welcome parsley. so sorry for your mc after such a long time of trying. I don't have a success story to tell myself, but I have friends who have just recently (she's about 20 weeks now) got pg after 2+ years of trying. It only happened for them once they gave up trying.
I think it's all completely random. If average time to get pg is around a year, then it stands to reason that it varies greatly. So hopefully this time around you will get your bfp very quickly.

sal that makes sense re AF start time.

Hi there, another new joiner if that's OK, graduating from the club no-one wants the join.

I've been reading this thread for a while, while going through my own MC and everyone seems so wise and supportive I thought it'd be good (for the soul at least) to join.

In a nutshell:
Me, 32. DH 32. No DC's. Unexplained infertility after TTC 18 months for #1. Finally got our BFP beginning of October which sadly ended in a MMC on Nov 15th (baby stopped developing at 6 weeks).
Still in cycle 1 post MC, not really 'trying' this month, just DTD unprotected and enjoying being close again. I was a POAS OPK addict first time around and sort of don't want to get back in to that again, but also don't want to diminish our chances of conceiving! Our BFP was actually conceived the first month I thought 'ah, fuck it' and didn't bother with the kit! I was also taking Agnus Castus that month too, but i can't see how that could have helped after only 1 month?!?

I am very apprehensive about our chances given how long it took us to conceive first time around so I'd LOVE to hear some positive stories from anyone else (first hand or otherwise) who also had unexplained infertility issues!!

Thanks and good luck to everyone!

Boo hiss for AF symptoms Aly, hope that's not the case. Have your temps dipped? I know, I'm really shocked at my siblings. At least a sister is flying to the UK in a few days, hopefully she can come and stay soon.

Sal I know it's good to have swimmers ready and waiting, but I thought dtd shortly after OV was ok too? I think my pg was from a 'just in case' bonk so definitely worth a shot.

Sorry about DH Sundance. Mine had a mini-meltdown the other day too, saying he was tired of always having to be the positive one, and I should be more positive about all this. Tried to explain that this is one of the hardest things we'll ever go through in our marriage and it's ok to feel shite about it, you don't have to pretend to be ok, especially with your OH.

We're officially the last of our circle to get knocked up too. I think a friend will lap us soon with DC#2...but they're lesbians so weirdly it's easier, they just go to get turkey-bastered! It's expensive, but everything is checked out for them, and the chances are pretty high. Took wife 1 two cycles, and even then she was devastated when the first didn't work. I guess I would be too at £1k a go...at least DTDWI is free for us!

cam I bet AF hasn't started at 5dpo. Much more likely that the cb digi piece of shit stuffed up and you ovulated a while ago. Would this be roughly normal timing for AF based on your last cycle length?

welcome chosen. Sorry that you're here but we all feel your pain and know exactly what you're going through. So we can do lots of hand holding and hugs when you need them.

bugger sal. well, maybe that one dtd will be enough!

sundance i'm sorry that your DH is feeling so low. Maybe you could agree to taking a break - since it is only one month it's not like you'd be losing lots of time, and it would mean that you can completely relax over xmas..... hard to contemplate though when you want so badly to be preggers.

handsful i hope that your weekend got better and that you got the perfect tree.

seaside i'm so sorry to hear about your mum's partner, and also that your siblings are being SO rubbish. What's with not coming to support your mum?? shocking. Also, as others have said, 7 months of not getting pg is not 7 months of "unexplained infertility". Bah!! Complete and utter bollocks. That's why the docs won't even look at you until 1 year. It's completely common for it to take at least that long.

hollyben hope you're feeling a bit better today

somewhere between 8 and 11 dpo here today. had a slow rise with my temps this month so a bit tricky to know when i ovd. had a sore back yesterday and feeling twinges on the right of my uterus so pretty sure that means that AF is on her way. rats.

Hi chosen, welcome to project desperate! Hopefully it will be a short stay for you but you're in good company.

sal, bugger, balls, feck!! Is there any chance you DTD close enough to ovulation for it to count?

I'm in a similar boat, I think. We went to stay with friends for the weekend and I forgot to take my ov sticks to check. I was due to ovulate yesterday given pre-mc patterns but took a test last night and nothing. So I've either missed it or it is late.

DH has been feeling very low lately, last night he said he wants to take a break from ttc until we've have the genetic testing done in jan. I get where he's coming from but at the same time I'd rather just carry on. Given it's only one cycle away I can wait and it would mean we can relax over Xmas.

It's so stressful. I think we officially the last couple in our circle if friends to have a baby, except for the singletons. I know you shouldn't compare and we don't know what goes on in people's private lives but it just seems ti emphasise our own issues.

Sorry....Monday blues kicking in. Need some posifrickintivity!!!

Implantation can be quite heavy and crampy cam, I think it can mimic af. It sounds more likely than af at 5dpo? Hope it is implantation bleeding.

Ah dang it. Pretty sure its AF arriving now - too heavy and crampy not to be - at 5dpo which is bizarre. Off to strop around the place.

Hi Chosen, of course you're welcome to join. Sorry for your loss. I'm very open about it all, except at work (though my editor knows it happened), but I'm generally very bad at keeping things to myself! People have been nothing but great about it, and I've found it very comforting having people to talk to - and hearing all the stories of other people's similar experiences that come out of the woodwork when you broach the subject.

Hi there Chosen. Sorry you find yourself here but welcome to the clan. I've been quite open with people which has its advantages (support) and occasional disadvantages. I don't think people have tended to feel burdened - I hope not anyway.

Hugs to you Seaside, using the term 'unexplained infertility' after 7 months is ludicrous. No need for you to be thinking in those terms.

Glad the tests all came back clear Sal. I'm right there with you with regard to weight gain. 1 1/2 stone since wedding last November. Comfort eating + pregnancy eating = a shed load of food!

Very excited on behalf of MissP. I blimmin loved my wedding. You'll have a fab time.

Sundance - I know you posted about this a while back but wanted to commend you having managed a trip to mamas and papas. You're clearly a very lovely friend.

Sorry about your shitty shitty month Wing. I hope your dad gets better very soon. Check out the stroke association, they're usually very helpful. And sorry about your poor horse too. I'm a horsey person; you must've been devastated.

Hugs to fedup and over. Sending lots of positive vibes.

After my 10 days of flashing smiley, when we had all but given up, I finally got a fixed one last Monday. Sadly by this time I was away with work but have my fingers crossed that some swimmers were still hanging around from earlier in the week. Bad timing though and had basically written this month off until a bit of spotting just now which I'm fantasising is implantation bleeding (at 5dpo, too early?). Hopes well and truely up. If anyone has any stories of spotting at 5dpo please feel free to share ( including ones where it didn't end up in a bfp as need to manage my expectations).

Hi chosen I am so sorry you find yourself here but you are very welcome. This is a great place for support, sharing, having a rant or a moan and asking questions.

fedup sorry the GP wasn't very helpful. Definitely try the EPU. I have found them to be really supportive. Fx for you. Let us know how you get on.

How are you feeling today handsful? Did you get your tree?

I had a brilliant night out with my best friend last night and am suffering today!!! DH has taken DD out to pick a fairy for the top of our tree whilst I die on the sofa. Need to recover for a hold lot of DTD over the next week

sadly not seaside, my EPU is helpfully mon to friday 9 to 1pm. thats it!! rubbish i know.

like you, i'm sort of preparing myself for the worst. DH is too. think its the only way i can cope with this... sounds silly and i should be all positive but just not feeling too good about this one with the discharge / blood etc. big hugs for you xxx

hello ladies,

please could i join you all? ttc #1 had a mmc at 12.4, scanned at epu due to spotting and found baby had died at 9ish weeks :( this was sept, had mm (which was awful but felt i needed to be in control and wanted to be at home).

af took 5wks to return, have had two cycles since which were bfn's..cycle has gone from 28 days exactly to 34 and 33 so we missed ov both times due to working away etc.

struggling with being down tbh, mainly just after ov and wk before af - think hormones take over and my mood hits rock bottom!

hope it's ok to join as i haven't felt able to confide in anyone really in rl except for dh and one friend as i feel like telling people puts the burden on them (how weird?!).

have skimmed the last couple of pages and you sound like a really supportive group, will have a proper read through as it sounds like people have been through some really tough times but are very strong ladies :)

xx

Thanks so much for your support over and fedup - these low moments just hit sometimes, don't they? We've been trying since Sept last year now - so 15 months. We took some time out after the EP, so I'm now in the 2ww of month 7.

But I know how both of you feel - even in the 2ww I'm feeling twinges on my right side and immediately thinking, 'this is it, it's another ectopic.' I think when I do get my BFP, if I feel how I am now, I'm just going to assume it is and prepare for that. But, and this applies to both of you - that is a psychological reaction, and not what the stats should lead any of us to expect. It's so rare to have one, and especially two.

Even if I/we do end up losing both tubes, the worst case scenario - as my doc said at EP 1 - is that we're an IVF doctor's dream - everything else works fine. It's a 6 month waiting list, taking that "when will it happen again" out of the equation. So it will be vile, but we will get there. In the meantime, I hate waiting!

Please let us know your results over - and fedup, is your EPU not open on the weekends? I went to mine on a Sunday. You're right to call for peace of mind, I'm sorry things aren't progressing simply.

Unexplained infertility for 7 months?! Wtf.

I had that for 10 months and doctor wouldn't even see me for fertility help as it was apparently normal. So that person was talking rubbish seaside

Good luck over for tues. I'm calling EPU on Monday as I
Scared I've got the prune juice discharge of ectopic..and my bfp was weak, conception indicator still 1 to 2 weeks on Friday and not feeling that pregnant either.

Seaside - Sorry you're feeling so shit at the moment, wanted to send you a hug and and x

I totally know what you mean about 'success stories' making you feel worse sometimes. I know how horrible it feels to have a mc...and I also know how utterly terrifying it is to have a tube removed and have the further worry of reduced fertility playing on your mind. How long have you been trying for since your EP now? I really honestly was starting to think i was infertile and that it was never going to happen. I still don't know that I'm not currently carrying another ectopic, but at least a BFP tells me that the right things have happened somewhere along the lines. I am positive it will happen for you too, just don't give up and keep on trying - which believe me I know is easier said than done. But the only alternative is to stop and I don't think that's an option is it? Certainly isn't for me, as draining as it is.

Me and my DH have been trying for 18 months up until now...that does include a 6 week Mc and an 8 wk EP...but it's been 6 months since my surgery and I am '6 weeks pregnant'. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and there is definitely still hope for you...it is obviously just taking its time to happen. I am keeping everything crossed for you my fellow unituber and really hope you get your BFP soon. I might end up back to square one again anyway, or even squareless completely if the worst is revealed on Tuesday...only time will tell. Xxx

Just realised I've got to the stage where 'good news' success stories are making me feel worse. Did a quick google for success stories after EP, and they're full of people saying, "finally, I got pg again after 4 months", and (literal quote) "After unexplained infertility for 7 months..." well, this is month 7 for me, and I hadn't thought of terming it 'unexplained infertility". Have I got to the stage where I might have other problems than being a unituber?

Also, despite having 6 other siblings who could come up, I'm apparently the only one who has the time to come and comfort my mother. My little sister's even pulling the pg card on me. Generally disappointed with life right now.

Oh so sorry handsfull, af always blows but the first after a mc is just awful. Just take care of yourself, try and keep busy doing fun things, with people you love. I find a glass of wine doesn't go amiss either...Just remember it will happen again-sorry it wasn't this month though.

Oooh, what an emotional thread - hugs to all. Lily, so sorry to hear about your mum's partner, how terribly sad. Ark, fingers crossed for you. Fedup, those tests are so unreliable, today you are pregnant and will remain so until proved otherwise. Hollyben, yay! Back to it girl, gogogo!

I am sitting here sobbing because I might be getting my period. No blood, just cramps and a little pinky wipe. FGS. I guess I have been comforting myself slightly with the innocent hope that a BFP will be along soon to cheer me up. Since it appears no BFP is imminent, that comfort has gone. Blimey, it's all flooded back. I guess things will take a while to get going again. It's only 6ish weeks since the m/c, after all. Fishslaps please, if that's what I need. I definitely need to get a grip. It sort of underlines how important it is to recover from the m/c independently, without pinning hopes on another pregnancy. How do you do that then?!

DH has gone out for curry. That is definitely a cheery thing. Have lovely weekends all. We are buying the Christmas tree tomorrow, I am so picky we usually have to go around 3 farms to find the perfect one!

My hopes are up for you Ark! Good luck with the self-restraint until Monday.

So sorry to hear of so many worries - Wing, my dad had a stroke two years ago now, it's just so worrying. He's fine now except for some numbness in his leg, I really hope your dad makes a speedy recovery.

Fedup, you poor thing. How stressful - but it is great that you have a bfp, I just wish your doc could offer you more reassurance. F tightly X for you, and for you on Tues Over, gosh I know how nerve-racking waiting for that scan will be. Just remember there's a 90% chance it's in the right place - those are really good odds.

Been quiet as things aren't great here either - my mum's very long-term partner died yesterday, so I'm over with her for a few days as she starts sorting everything out. His daughter is due to give birth in a week, I feel so sorry for her. My mum's remarkably ok though, which is a relief.

Not sure where I am in my cycle this month. Got lots of CM in Australia so was quite gutted I'd missed out this month, but then my OPK showed LH on Tuesday, so hopefully we haven't missed the boat as managed well-timed shagging then. Maybe jet lag's just screwing my body clock up - that will mean my luteal phase is only 10 days this month as AF due on the 14th, which is a bit worrying. Anyway, WTF cycle it is.

Superdrug is 10 miu too. I have issues with ic as gave me false bfps before.. Horrible!! And def not evaps, big pink lines! Good luck to you and hope af stays away!!

Just an IC. I've got a twin-pack of CB digis in the cupboard but I'm saving them until I get a BFP on an IC first. I've always gotten the fastest responses from ICs, to be honest; they detect HGC at 10mIU, whereas the most sensitive FR is 12.5mIU. The CB digis register at 20mIU.

It'll be easy enough to hold off I think - I have an incredibly busy weekend lined up so won't have time to obsess over poas!