How easy / hard did you find it to conceive age 35+?

I concieved at 35 and got preggers on the first attempt. With dd1 it took me 6 months plus and I was 29.

or even ...

The temptation to keep going is massive JanH - we live in a society where we are taught that anytihng is possible if you work hard/want it enough/research enough etc. It is difficult to accept that something you want so much is just not likely to happen.

After three attempts I chose to stop and everyone I know came out with the story about the woman down the road who tried IVF 8 times and got pregant on attempt 9! They have no idea how difficult one attempt is never mind 9! The next chestnut is the adoption one - "Oh now you're adopting you're BOUND to get pregnant" - I think one woman in 1957 got pregnant after adopting her first child and has been quoted ever since!

Philosophical is the only way to go Jan - any other way madness lies

(I wasn't so very philosophical when my final IVF failed the day my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer [shock})

Also think I've been bloody lucky and will advise my dd's to get cracking younger (not at all related to the fact that I might like to see my grandchildren )

I wonder if actually having babies after 35 keeps your fertility levels up IYKWIM? Apparently, if you have children late you often have a later menopause so perhaps if you have babies late you can carry on for a bit rather than if you had your children younger - rambling but I hope YKWIM - obviously no scientific basis to my thoughts.

"You have your eggs graded" -

IVF looks like such an awful experience even when it's successful, suej - must be so much worse to go through all that and and have to admit defeat - I am very impressed by your philosophical attitude!

You don't need to take into account women who don't get pregnant over 35 becasue the statistics only document the reality. You don't need statistics to prove fertility declines with age, you can observe it in the quality of the eggs produced by a 40 year old compared to a say 20 year old - there is a visible differnce. When you have IVF your eggs are graded (and you thought SATS were bad!) for quality, every egg is inspected.

You are born with every egg you are ever going to produce - you do not create new ones as you go along therefore the older you are the older your eggs are and they age, just like the rest of you does.

And yes I know "this is a parenting board, of course you're going to find more women here who've conceived than not. ". That was my point - of course 30 women on here are going to say they got pregnant as on the whole the women on here did get pregnant, I was pointing out that that doesn't mean that 30:1 women get pregant over 35 as the non-pregnant portion are a silence group.

Apart from me obviously.

It was said on that Panorama programme a few weeks ago that at age 35 that your fertility is about the same as at 25. However, it is from 35 to 40 that it plummits dramatically - and after 40 it is going downhill.

However, everyones experience is different.

I got pregnant with dd1 in the first month of trying (in fact the first time I had ever had sex without contraception) I was 36 and 37 when she was born.

I got pregnant with and had dd2 at 38 - again in the first month of trying. I am currently 39 and am thinking of a 3rd in a couple of years - though I accept that with the stats this may be wishful thinking - but who knows?

Took me longer after 35, I conceived ds1 aged 30 after one or two months, ds2 aged 32 first go, dd aged 34 after maybe three months, but ds3, conceived when I was 37 took about 6 months and I was beginning to get worried. Not as bad as others here, I admit, but I definitely took longer.

6 months when I was 31. 2 years with help of clomid when I was 36. I was told highly unlikely that I would get pg naturally again. Took me 3 months aged 41. That blows the stats out of the window eh?

how easily did you get pg 1st time franny?

I was 34, 36, 38 and each time it happened with a few months, maybe only 2.

"But everyone is different and statistics are notoriously unreliable. You may find that you fall very easily. " Absolutely right Freckle. The biggest determinant of fertility and age is the quality of your eggs some peoples eggs deteriorate faster than others, some woemn will still be fertile at 45 (very rare) and some will have lot their effective fertility by 30. However ALL womens eggs will deteriorate with age and there is no way of predicting (or even testing) how an individuals will behave. We can only say that on average women will be about 75% as fertile at 35 as they were under 35 and 30% as fertile by the time they're 40.

And you're right, mens fertility declines too.

this is a parenting board, of course you're going to find more women here who've conceived than not.

I wonder how many women are included in fertility stats? What about the billions of women who make damn sure they don't get pg after 35 - how fertile might they be? I know that can't be measured (enforced pregnancy might not be a popular test ) but it must make the numbers less reliable?

I have no idea whether random women would be more likely to conceive normally than through IVF - about a third of women under 35 conceive first time through IVF, I'm told anecdotally that about 85% are pregnant by thirds attempt (I don't have evidence of this but it does seem about right). Does this sound similar to non-ivf? It sounds about right to me - 85% of women under 35 get pregnant withing three months?

What I actually was pointing out was that IVF success rates in older women are probably not any worse than un-assisted conception as one of the problems (in fact reasons) that conception rates drop is that your eggs toughen up with age. IVF overcomes this. it can't however overcome the problem that your eggs tend to fragment with age (ie fall apart).

Oh god I've scared you now - I'll shut up.

presumably by doing a cohort study looking at people who turn up at antinatal clinics? Give them a questionaire? How long did it take you, sort of a thing

But everyone is different and statistics are notoriously unreliable. You may find that you fall very easily. I certainly had no trouble at all. I do wonder, if we'd started our family earlier, that I wouldn't have a football team by now!

Where do they get statistics from for women without known fertility problems?

Had a MC at 30, my first child,dd, 'took' 3 months when I was aged 33, ds 'took' 6 months when I was 36. This was following probelms cause by the mc and dh having had testicular cancer. So all in all I think things went rather well!

one attempt at 38. three attempts thus far and nothing (not really trying thou'...)

I fell pregnant at 36 in the first month of trying, then again at 38 in a couple of months (had to give up breastfeeding first) and then again at age 40 after 3/4 months of trying. Easy peasy really.

You also need to consider the age of the father. New research shows that this can be a factor too.