The Brookers will get their BFP's by any means necessary, thats the definition of Brooking No Argument!

(((massive hugs))) for scarlett Never, ever apologise for needing to use the thread, this is exactly why we are all here - to support others when we can, and to get support when we most need it. That sounds like a really good chat you had with DH. Some time off from the stress of it all, and just getting back to basics sounds like a great idea. And of course do remember that our very own smegs was on the low end of low AMH if I remember rightly. A meet-up with sweetie sounds fab, I am sure you'd be able to get loads of answers. I know it's hard, but it sounds like you need to put your time with the NHS clinic, and all the negative feelings that created, behind you at least in terms of which way you want to go forward. Yes, they were trying to shoehorn you from the beginning, you had a really twunty consultant and it was so not the right thing for you then. That doesn't mean it might not be the right thing for you now though, so don't let that clinic put you off an avenue of treatment. Consider it despite them, not because of them. My only other bit of advice is to be really honest with yourself about your own feelings for different types of treatment. Sometimes it can take a while to even know what our reasons for objecting are.

PS, madam, 37 is not old

Sounds like a really productive chat with DH scarlett. Agreeing with everyone else's very wise and supportive words. Look after yourself

Scarlet, sorry you didn't get the news you hoped for, but if there is the possibility that egg donation could work, maybe that's the path you need to take? I know someone in RL who confided in me when they were having difficulties ttc, she initially ruled it out as she felt it wouldn't feel like her baby, but after a long time and a persuasive DH, she changed her mind, and ended up having twins and after 9 months of carrying them, pretty much EBF'ing them for more than 6months, she views them as hers, and her only slight regret is not doing it years earlier, but then as she says, if she'd done it earlier, it would have been a different child or children rather than the two she has.

Just in case anyone doesn't know, I have my house on the market as I want to sell my house to move closer to my family. It is a luvverly house, and its for sale and its in Cambridgeshire ;). It has a study and a massive lounge and a dining room, and a playroom and 5 bedrooms, so ideal for growing families.....if anyone happens to be wanting to move to Cambridgeshire, with a station about 5 miles away for anyone who should need to commute to London and a couple of minutes drive from the A14 which links you to a big road that goes to Essex.... Just saying ;)

Scarlett seconding what Cake said, don't ever feel bad about needing support. Tis what we are here for!!

I think that's an amazing plan. Any money your cycles will calm right down and the accu I always found so relaxing. I think it's a brilliant idea to seek a second opinion and have a change of clinic. I always think understanding the science helps. It did me anyway. But I hate to break it to you. You so realise that a skiing holiday=ironic BFP don't you? . But you can't argue with a lot of sex . And we are always here for support. Yes indeedy x

Scarlett, hope you're feeling ok. Your chat with OH sounds good. Talking to the delightful Sweetie sounds like an excellent plan, and moving on from your NHS clinic may be the wisest of moves.

As you can't see a private consultant for a couple of months, going back to basics sounds like a good plan - if nothing else to prepare your body for your next move :)

37 is still lovely and young - you have plenty of time :)

scarlett I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say you must never ever feel sorry for leaning on the thread for support, that is precisely what it is for and you ought to have lots of love and support after what you have been through it sounds like you had a really productive chat with your OH and it's great that you have things planned like a holiday and new job to hopefully keep you busy with other things for a little time while you get your head around the next steps for you

happy friday!

If anyone can let me know how to switch my brain off for a couple of months that would be a huge help

Thanks everyone, I do feel like I've been more taking than giving on this thread of late, sorry, you are all so lovely and the next meet up I promise I will come and the first coffees are on me [tea]

Good chat with OH last night, the problem is I feel like the NHS have been trying to shoehorn me into donor eggs since the first appt with twunty consultant 18 months ago. Whatever we decide we will have to pay for it so it's not going to be in the next few months. I do think I would like to see a private consultant who specialises in this for an informed second opinion. I think I need to do a lot more work on understanding the donor egg situ, especially epigenetics as I think this may help me put some of my reservations to bed. It might be a good idea to talk to someone who has been there, I might see if sweetie is up for a coffee in the new year as she lives near my mum I also think my time with that NHS clinic is done, I need to mentally put my whole treatment cycle with that place to bed and move on.

OH wants me to cut back all the supplements to the bare minimum, go back to acu and have a straight 6 months drug/hormone/tablet free, he also has prescibed lots of sex and he thinks we should just go back to basics and use OPK's again so I can monitor my cycle and hopefully see it return to normal after all the interference, I think what he is trying to say is lets just go for it au naturel again for a while, just because the hospital think IVF won't work it still only takes 1 egg after all, and perhaps we just need to get back to basics for a time - also if the ultimate endgame is donor eggs, and it's just about me getting my head around it, then time is back on my side again, in donor recipient terms I'm still quite young [37 next month though argh].

I haven't got time to be jabbing/scanning/diffed in the next few months anyway lol, at least until after my skiing holiday in March, and I need a good 6 months to really get in to my new job without any distractions and get through probation lol

Sorry for the essay, happy friday one & all,

peace and love brookers xx

Oh Scarlett what a horrible letter :( I'm so sorry. X

Ooh Dino. A BFP for you would also be fabulous!

Scarlett, lots of hand holding here too. As others have said, you don't have to make any decisions yet.

Geek, I didn't know there was such a thing as a pre BFP cold. Would make sense though. Last time I felt very run down (and I always get colds when run down! ). Hmm. Hope AF is behaving herself.

Too and Dino.. too early! If I OVed when I suspect I could be 9DPO. But I could also only be 6. Either way.. not wanting to POAS for a while. No date in mind though..

Oh scarlett that sounds like an awful letter to receive If you don't mind me asking, what are your options? I'm sure you don't need to give up - you'll get there

scarlett my love that is utterly shit. I'm so sorry, and angry on your behalf. Take all the time you need, and remember you have many hands to hold here. I am only a pm/fb msg/text away if you want to have a rant xx

oh scarlett what an awful letter to receive but as maybe says, don't make any decisions right now.Just try and be extra kind to yourself for a little while.

maybe I am also sorry I missed your birthday hope you had a good one?

Oh Scarlett. I'm so sorry.

Oh Scarlett lovely. I'm so sorry. Don't make any decisions about anything. I could feel you were more positive. Am here for hand holding x

No advice, Scarlett, but just lots of hugs. That all sounds very hard.

maybe sorry I missed your brthday hope you had a lovely day x

Geeek glad you hear AF left mine and arrived at yours safe and sound.

Just a quickie from me brookers, hospital says no, and the ivf failed because of my 'reduced ovarian reserve' and nothing else. Also says no point doing IVF again so if I want to proceed I have to ook at other options. Totally sick of it all now, I just need to accept I can't have children and move on now I think Am upset because I was feeling really positive again until I read that stupid letter.

Thanks for the birthday wishes brookers!!

So pleased AF landed Geek. Make the most of her, you'll miss her when she's gone

Fox, click on antenatal clubs. You can't miss us

Catching up with all the Brookers threads. Go on, musical, POAS and make my visit worthwhile!

Still BFing quite a bit so my cycles are still pretty long and infrequent, but I'm desperately hoping DD2 will sleep through soon and that I'll get rest and then eventually a BFP... Ah, can hear someone crying in her cot!

Geek, hurray for AF! There's a sentence you don't see often on these threads.

Musical... poas! Poas! Pleeeeaaaase!

sorry fox and musical xpost!

fox So pleased all went well telling your mum - such a lovely piece of news to break. I'm glad it's all starting to sink in for you :)

musical would that be the pre-BFP cold I keep reading about by any chance??? Hope you feel better soon, there are lots of nasties going around this year.

Thanks maybe and happy birthday! Yes, I was shredding up to the point where the dreaded flu got me! Once AF's over and done with I'll get back into it again.

boo we had a little drive round, but P was anxious to get back so we didn't pay to park stop. As he was pulling out though he came over all weird - turns out he was having a hypo, so we stopped off at the farm shop to get something to boost his blood sugar. Ended up buying a couple of parkin cakes to take into work - they were gorgeous!!!

AF has finally landed!!! I've never been so pleased to see her. She should be out of the way by the end of the weekend now, and I can get back to exercising from Monday.

Happy birthday Maybe!!! Hope you've had a lovely day! I can't actually find the grad thread If i do manage to I'll pop my head in

Geek brooking that AF turns up soon but doesn't hang around too long! That's mad you could be picking up your drugs from the supermarket! Told my mum on Saturday and she was very excited. She said she'd already bought some nappies just in case! She said she knew something was going on but I don't know how - either mothers intuition or my brother told her!!

Oooh musical hope the poorliness turns out to be something positive! But hope you feel better soon either way

Maybe Happy birthday! :) Would love to move closer to you. We shall see what happens..!

Fox Ooooh how exciting!

Geek Yes we are gluttons for punishment We've never lived in a place for longer than two years! In reality.. DH has changed roles, and whereas we needed to be near his work (and London) before, we can now be a bit further away. We also need a study for him working from home, and for my work.. and could do with a separate living room and dining room (or living room and kitchen with kitchen table) so I can teach without disturb everyone else - at the moment I take up the whole of the downstairs which annoys DH!

Brooking for AF to be light and pain free for you Geek, as Maybe says :)

Not sure what's going on with me today. Aching, cold like symptoms, potential migraine.. desperately trying not to symptom spot as I'm sure similar happened with DD. Need to go back and see if the old Brooking thread still exists and check! Anyway, I'm sure I'm just coming down with something.. which is rubbish in itself.