September bus (PART 3!) Boy we're a chatty lot

Oops. I missed the full stop out after the word judgmental. x

Hi VJONES. Thank you also for not being judgemental In regards to a sperm donor, well they cost money and at least he deposits for free and takes me for meals ect and buys me nice things so perhaps he's more serious about me than I think he is. Well he must have liked something about me or he wouldn't have asked for my number after our first encounter. x

International, my comment was more about how the father will feel, and protecting yourself from future issues involving custody and other such disputes.

It's a very emotional thing to have a child, not just for the mother. Have you considered his feelings? Does he want children? If you know he doesn't and you go ahead trying you're being ridiculously unfair to him, as even if you say it's just your child and he doesn't need to be a part of raising it, it will undoubtedly effect him emotionally, as he would in effect be abandoning his child, whether he was tricked into it or not.

If he does want children, surely you could discuss it with him.

We're just preaching honesty in your real life as you are honest on here. I know it's difficult, but it's just not fair to him unless you are.

I would say this to anyone else on here who is doing the same thing, but as I cannot have even imagined anyone doing what you are doing before you said it, I highly doubt there are many, if any, other women on here trying to trick their f*ck buddy into having a baby.

Thankyou coffee for such an open minded post. I do know what I'm doing though I do nothing but think about it.
I think if I'm totally honest the comment that I'm less deserving of having another baby upset me the most, so your comment means a lot.
Also hope you're well.
xx

By the way, International, just out of interest - did you consider using a sperm bank at all?

International - I don't agree with people saying you don't deserve a child as much as others do. I can think of some terrible parents who do not deserve to be blessed with children and I'm sure you're not one of them. However, I do agree entirely with mama when she says you are playing with fire and messing with this man's feelings. Just think about if this would be an ideal situation for all three of you.

Anyway, good luck and I hope no one gets hurt.

Hi Mama. I know you weren't judging me. I read your prior comment and did find it to be very non judgmental. x

Take care disney, I hope you get things sorted and get back on here soon with some good news! We will miss your humour! Good luck! X

Big hugs Disney. So sorry it's been tough going.

I don't think that international is any less deserving of a baby than any of us. There's nothing to prevent her from being a good mum. I think the issue here is the dishonesty with the man and his possible reaction when she does get a bfp. Having said that, it's her life and who is anybody to judge?

You have chosen a rather unconventional path international, to say the least. If you wanted to be a single mum, could you have not used a sperm bank? That would entail much less complications and a stable environment to bring a baby into. I hope you know what you are doing, for your baby's sake.

International I def wasn't judging you and I'm sure you will be a great mother...I was just stating that there is a bigger picture and a lot of things to consider rationally so that no one gets hurt.

Would have to look back over the thread to know who made each comment, so I will give a general reply.

I want and deserve this baby as much as someone in a loving relationship does, my baby will be just as loved and precious to me. Just because I do not live like you (who made the comment, does not mean I am/ will not make a good mum.
I may be a prick but at least I'm an honest prick. (On here at least).

There could be people on here do exactly what I am doing just not admitting it, hey, who'd be any the wiser. It's very easy and convenient for people to make out they have perfect lives, when no-one knows what goes on behind closed doors or in R.L. Like I said the only difference is I tell it how it is.
I did notice some none judgemental comments, thank you.
x

Oh Disney massive hugs am so sorry he did that.

Mama is so right international... Please read her post...

Disney - sending you all my hugs

Hi everyone. Looking for some reassurance that I'm on the right lines with opks...

So I've been working with a 40 day cycle but hoping it would settle down to give me more tries. So this month I started opks REALLY early - 10 days before app said - and absolutely delighted to get a smiley on Friday and yesterday. I thought that would make my ideal days would be everyday until Monday but when I'm reading threads it seems like it should've last week ...

Advice appreciated... Really hoping that as well as my cycle settling, this'll be our month - trying since December and can get a bit frustrating as we all know!!

Ps making up sex is always the best....I think shout first then make up :)

Awh disney that's so tough for you :( I understand that he might not be in the mood all the time coz if anxiety/depression but he should have prioritised dtd over drinking as alcohol obv has made dtd even less likely. Just explain to him when you get your pos opk that there's to be no drinking and a nice relaxing, romantic night should be planned so that dtd is the priority above everything else. I'm sure he really wants to be a dad but its important that he realises that priorities need to change now. Hope your ok Disney and I hope you both can talk things through so he can realise how he's making you feel. HUG.

OH DISNEY

How rubbish I'm sorry.
I know you're pissed off but I still think you should jump him at some point today... There's still time for you this month.

And you can shout at him afterwards!

I had a boyfriend a few years ago who suffered with depression - trying to get him to open up about his feelings or trying to 2nd guess what was going on inside his head was very difficult. It just seems there might be a deeper reason, after all, if he wants to have a baby why won't he have sex during the days leading up to when you are fertile? It sounds like a really difficult situation for you, you must feel so upset and frustrated x x

Disney, I feel for you. I got upset with oh for having a couple pints after work with coworkers on the day I got my +opk, because he was too knackered to properly do his husbandly duty but that was nothing compared to your situation. Surely he wants it too, especially if he's been telling world! Could you try talking to him about it? Does he realise that there's only this tiny window, or does he think his super sperm are strong enough to live for weeks on end in your hooha?

Sorry Disney that's rubbish!
Try and dtd today.. There's still time if you got your positive OPK yesterday!

Mama has spoken words of wisdom there, international, and I agree with everything she said.

Disney - sorry to hear about that. I think he definitely needs talking to about how this is making you feel.

Are you 100% sure he wants to TTC?
What do you honestly think the problem is? X