Eggcellent Egg Buddies! Come and join us if you're IVFing in August, September or October!

still would probably be more willing as I said if I felt it had a chance of working. please be a bit tactful, and I mean that in the nicest possible way. There are people here cycling and that looks like a barbed comment. If you do not think it will work then don't do it, but please for the sake of others, do not be so negative here.

IVF does work. It worked for me, I got pregnant. But IVF does not guarentee taking a baby home as I miscarried. But it did and does and can work.

I was generally emotionally fine during the cycle and I had a difficult one which was nearly abandoned halfway through. When I spent a week crawling around my Home as I couldn't stand I didn't mind to be honest as it was for a reason. But there are no guarentees how hard it may be - euro amongst others here suffers badly.

However, if you want to see how emotionally difficult it is, do a search of my posts over the past 4 months as I wrote about it and I was one of the more ambliviant ones here. My cycle took about 3 months from first to last jab with many procedures in between.

pipin I see your raw emotion and hear you. And do not necessarily disagree.

pram i also hear what you are staying, but I think the stimming process with all the worries and procedures is the difficult part. I crashed emotionally after EC, couldn't walk and the heartburn, I feel sick just remembering that

still did you know couples battling infertility have a higher divorce rate over time? Regardless of whether a child is born or not? IVF and miscarriage have both changed me and my DH as people, and we are fairly laid back by nature. It isn't for the faint hearted.

I agree with you Pram, it felt like the first positive step for us in years of trying. I loved being able to take control of it all. I loved seeing the embryo transfer. But I think I could only deal with this because it was something I 100% wanted to happen.

I'm sorry if my last post makes me sound like an über bitch, I'm not in a good place right now.

pram I think you do have a different perspective as you didn't go through EC. Also, I think there might be a teeny bit of a rose tinted perspective here. I remember you made some very stressy posts in your 2ww and in the early days and weeks after your BFP on an earlier egg buddies thread.

I just got my call from the clinic - BFN, as expected. The dr who called can't work out why it isn't working for us. We'll probably go for a cycle review and figure out if we want to change clinics. We're going to the CRGH Open Day next week too.

...bear in mind, though, I didn't go through EC as I used donor eggs.

See, I did not find any part of the IVF process tough, demanding or overwhelming. I loved the feeling of being scientifically messed-with; being under a microscope and letting drugs and injections do their thing. I felt empowered and far closer to getting a baby than I had ever done before and felt massively grateful that I had the opportunity (thanks to a loan from my dad). I don't want to sound smug; I wanted to offer a different perspective to IVF.

Oh, and I meant to say, I don't regret having tried at all, even though I really hate the process. Like fish, I would have regretted it if I had never given it a go.

Still
I'm going to sound like a mega bitch here but, you should tell your DH count his blessings. You have a DS already. Don't forget him by focusing on this baby that you decided years ago you wouldn't ever have.
Many of us here, and I'm speaking mainly for myself here, have never even been pregnant, have never seen two lines on a stick, have never been for a scan, have never held our own baby in our arms. If your DH wants to do this and you don't, then don't do it. IVF is so all consuming. You will be the one to have to be injecting yourself with drugs everyday, you will be the one feeling shit after egg collection and all he will have to do it have a wank.
I'm sorry if that sounds hugely unsympathetic and I'm sorry if that upsets other Egg Buddies. You shouldn't be having to go through all this if you don't feel 100% emotionally up to it. It sucks, it sucks hard. And it will be sucking hard for you, not him. He will be supporting you and holding your hand but it's not the same.
If you don't want to do it then don't.

It is both physcially and emotionally tough.

Physically - some people are fine with the drugs, some people are not. Some people enjoy their EC sleep, some do not. Some people are in pain afterwards, some are fine. A few people breeze through it but many struggle with one or more of those physical elements. And I don't think anyone is thrilled at the amount of time they spend in stirrups with a stranger staring up/shoving things up their foof.

Emotionally it is tough because you have so much invested in one cycle. There are several stressful points: will you grow eggs, will they manage to harvest them, will they be mature, will they fertilise, will they survive to ET, will there be a pregnancy.

I had to drag myself kicking and screaming into my first cycle. the subsequent ones were easier, after seeing my first ever positive pregnancy test that first time. But I agree with fist that it is not for the faint hearted.

In what way is it horrendous and really tough? Physically it emotionally?
I would probably be more willing as I said if I felt it had a chance of working.
I know I must come across as despondent but I can't help it. I just think I will regret it.

Hello all,

stillhoping I've decided that even if I never become a mother I need to know that I can look back and say I gave it my best shot. The clinics have to make someone pregnant so why not you? It is a very personal decision to make but The IVF is very tough and takes a lot of investment so do give it good consideration. It may be worth speaking with fertility counsellors as you may just be scared?

Personally, I think going in with a negative attitude will make the whole thing more difficult even if it is successful, the process just isn't for the faint hearted and takes over your entire life.

Ignore that last one just use your brain and Google

what's Embryo glue?

It's ok, it was the embryo glue.

wim ? OH was only taking wellman conception up to this SA. Post-IVF failure (:() he?s on co-enzyme Q10, zinc, selenium? although the doc said that zinc and selenium are the most important and the wellman vits cover him. well we?ve brought them now so no harm in him taking them all! The most significant thing is the cutting riiiiiiiiight back on alcohol and smoking. I?m sorry to say this but he was being a completely dick last year and drinking waaaaay too much, sometimes 60 units a week. and of course that leads to cigarettes. He was living the student lifestyle whilst wanting to be a father. silly boy! he?s completely turned his life around now though, he?s committed to this as I am. He says he feels we had to do IVF to teach him a lesson.

The docs said though that anything that?s wrong with sperm can be overcome by IVF so who knows?

pram ? the transfer didn?t go well, I almost had a panic attack I was so hot and I hadn?t eaten and I was desperate to pee. I know better for next time. dumb day to start a diet, hey!

The docs said he believes this was just a bad embryo and that he sees no reason for us to not carry on. So here we are.

Has anyone got an answer to my question about the three things to help implantation: scratch, embryoscope and??

Re my sister and mum: I'm not going to 'have a word' because I can't formulate an argument in my head where I could convince even myself that they have done wrong here. I have told loads of people - including the greengrocer, the hairdresser and the deli woman - about the donor IVF so why shouldn't my family include that information when sharing my happy news? The people I have winced about them telling are all religious and part of my mum & sister's fellowship at church. I know why this is: I felt I compromised my own beliefs to go ahead with IVF at all - let alone door egg - and I am truly uncomfortable that other Christians will be left chewing over my decisions (maybe I'm flattering myself or doing them a great disservice; maybe they wouldn't give a flying monkey's).

I also don't want a 'friend' of mine on fb knowing that this baby was conceived via IVF, and that is purely because she is now seeing my ex-boyfriend and I don't want them discussing how I was 'unable to have my own'.

My sister and mum and I have never had a conversation about what they should say when they share my news or how much detail to divulge. I think I assumed that mum in particular would keep schtum about the donor IVF because, if you remeber, she was very upset about it when we initially told her of our plans and inferred that she would never be able to love 'another woman's child' as she would mine. Of course (as I predicted) she is ecstatic about being a grandma again and never even considers this as a donor egg baby. As such, I really have left them to their own devices and so cannot now whinge about the delivery of this happy news. The answer is to be proud and unselfconscious of what I have done. Simple, yeah?

Twinks, I was really chuffed to read about Mr. Twinks' SA improvement. I know you were both frustrated that certain sacrifices had gone unrewarded, so this is excellent news. The third factor on your list for successful IVF: was it a skilled transfer? More and more I am reading that the skill (or otherwise) shown at ET can make or break your cycle. Makes sense to me.

Still, I think I found your posts oddly defeatist simply because we have all witnessed some amazing success stories here despite ladies 'knowing' it was not going to work. We are all reeling from a run of bad news on here, too, so I understand that gut feeling that things won't work out. I simply never believed that I could ever be so fortunate or 'deserving' to get me a baby, but I did (donor egg abroad). Your post stands out, though, because you really are anti-this whole process. In your shoes I would probably tell DH I was not prepared to risk my mental health.

still I had very similar feelings before embarking upon IVF. I was sure it wouldn't work (we are unexplained so no one could tell me WHY it might help us) and I absolutely detest taking drugs.

I started a full long protocol cycle on the NHS and then stopped it because the downregging drugs turned me into Eyeore (I'm making light of it but it was a bloody awful time - distressing for both me and my husband) then abandoned that and went for natural IVF instead (minimal drugs). To my absolute astonishment, I got a BFP from my first natural cycle, although I went on to miscarry. I've since done 2 more cycles and had chem pregs. Clearly IVF does overcome some undiagnosed problem that we have. We said we would do 3 cycles and then call it quits, but having come so close, we are not ready to walk away yet.

I don't have diabetes but I do have an ishoo of my own - I react very badly to being put out. Or more to the point, I come round like a raving lunatic and try to run away. Very upsetting for me and my husband, and not easy for the medics either. So egg collection has been a nightmare for me and I have now put myself through it three times.

I'm not sure if that helps. I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone in feeling extremely apprehensive about IVF. I wasn't fighting my husband though - I was fighting myself. I felt like I would regret it if I didn't give it a go, but I really, really didn't want to.

Twinks, has DH been taking any supplements?

I have but dh thinks we should go for it anyway. At least when it doesn't work I won't be as disappointed I guess. I'm only doing it twice. At most.

I don't really like putting medications and drugs into my body so that doesn't help either. Basically I don't want to do it but feel backed into a corner by dh. The egg collection will be more complicated because of the diabetes, so it may mean am overnight stay. It will mean a glucose and insulin drip.

That really is good News twinks. It sounds like things are getting sunnier in the twinks household!

Even better news is that OHs SA was good on the day of EC. Count was 65mil. First SA he has about a year ago was 38mil.

twinks that all sounds really positive and it's great that you have something to look Forward to. That is extortionate, but I love beans of toast. And for a Special occassion you could always add a sprinkle of cheese (but it would have to be VERY Special )

still it may be a silly question but have you told your DH all your fears? You can't go into this Feeling like you are under pressure. Your DH will Need to be your rock and you both Need to feel this is the right way to go before you start otherwise you really will be throwing good Money away. But that is just my opinion

I feel like that too, still. Like I can't picture it. But then I try and think that a lot of people in my situation probably think like that and I try and hope for the best.

You say you have a gut feeling. Like my husband says 'remember that your guts have shit for brains'.

Welcome anyway :)

Wim - I'm fine thx. Had my review appt the other day. Planning on FET next month. Having the scratch in the next few weeks and we're going to use the embryoscope next round. The doc mentioned 3 things to do to aid implantation: embryoscope, scratch and one more thing but I can't remember - does anyone know?

All 3 things will cost in the region of £1,000. Gulp. Beans on toast for the foreseeable!

Thank you for all messages though, you all seem a lovely lot so at least if we do go through with it I can come on here to chat.
I'm not telling anyone irl. I can't bear the fake sympathy.